You will. I know… I know, it hurts right now. I know you feel broken, battered, and incapable of mustering up the energy to even get out of bed. I know that there is nothing I can say or do that will console you. But this pain you are feeling in this moment, that seems like it’s going to consume you, it will pass. Not before it’s had its way with you, not before it’s made you feel all the feels you have to feel, but eventually, it will fade into the past and become part of what makes you who you were meant to become.
Once the pain has released you from its grasp, it will spit you out a little stronger, and a little more wary. You will believe that love is the enemy. That love is ultimately the cause of all of this agony and you will swear off of it. You will swear to God and anyone who will listen that you will NEVER love again. That you will never let anyone or anything put you back in that place. Who can blame you? It took everything in you to survive that pain, why ever would you want to do it again? How on earth can you even imagine allowing your heart to open again?
I’ve been there. In that place where love seems like your enemy and your heart a weapon to be used against you. But it’s not. You were meant to love and to be loved. Your heart is meant to be filled with joy and happiness. Love didn’t break you. Love didn’t desert you. He did. And now he’s gone. Let him take all of the blame, and leave love for you. Let the person who didn’t love you be the cause of your pain, and let love be the solution. Let love be the thing that heals you.
Start small if you have to, love your favorite coffee cup that delivers liquid life into your mouth and warms your soul on a cold morning. Love your bed that feels like you’re floating on a cloud when you need to escape the pressures of the day. Love the way your cat cuddles with you in the morning.
Look at all of the things you love and the joy that those things bring you. Love didn’t hurt you. Love didn’t make you cry. Love gives you a thousand reasons to be happy every day. Don’t blame love because he did you wrong. He is not love. He is just an asshat who didn’t know what he had, and that’s on him-not love.
Before you swear off love and promise you will never do it again… take notice of all the things you have in your life that you do love=your family, your friends, yourself. He didn’t take love from you. He didn’t render you incapable of mustering up that emotion. You still love, and you will love again.
Love,
A girl who thought she would never love again… until I realized, I never stopped.
by Tia Grace