I always wonder how long I should wait before things get physical with my date. It’s a tough call!
Third date, tenth date, one month?
Is it too soon?
Should I wait until we get to know each other better?
If I wait for too long will he go away?
You probably have the same doubts. I know navigating a romantic relationship can be a thrilling roller coaster ride, especially when it comes to deciding the right moment to take things to the next level.
But hear me out, a relationship coach, Louise Perry has dropped a bombshell revelation that’s turning heads!
Louise Perry is a British author, journalist, and podcast host and she recently lit up “The Diary Of A CEO” podcast with her fresh take on dating.
In the YouTube episode, she dove into her book’s advice for waiting three months before hitting the sheets. But here’s the kicker:
Her real advice is to wait until there’s a ring
Chatting with host Steve Bartlett, Louise didn’t hold back about her thoughts on women getting intimate before any solid commitment is in place.
Once an ardent advocate of the classic three-month rule, Perry has now flipped the script, advising couples to hold off on getting intimate until there’s a proposal and a ring.
Yes, you heard that right – no ring, no fling!
This surprising twist is sparking some serious buzz in the dating scene.
When Steven popped the big question about timing, Louise boldly declared:
“I think, probably, actually waiting until engagement is a better call.”
She acknowledges it’s tough to stick to this in a culture where waiting can seem “weird” unless for religious reasons, and it might mean missing out on potential matches:
“You basically cut out a big chunk of your possible matches by insisting on that.”
Perry admitted she suggested the three-month wait in her book simply because it felt more practical and achievable, avoiding any jaw-dropping reactions in reviews.
The three-month dating rule acts as a trial period, giving couples a chance to truly get to know each other before taking things seriously. After all, first impressions can be deceiving, and…
This approach allows you to form a deeper connection
Dating has become very complex with men and women often having different goals and expectations:
“And of course there’s this whole game about how like, man might want to have s.x with more people, woman want to tie a man down. Like it’s a really complicated game.”
That’s why it is necessary that we have some dating and marriage customs, as in every other culture.
Relationship expert brings a fresh perspective on dating drawing from her anthropology studies which explore how diverse societies around the world live together.
She emphasizes the importance of social rules:
“Lack of social rules sets everyone up to fail.”
She wonders why we think we can live without some rules and customs on this matter and why we think we can “have just free-for-all”. She says people can not just do whatever they like, there must be some order:
“What anthropology tells us is that actually we need structure, we need conventions and we need constraints, and templates.”
Louise also highlights how men often misread social cues, while women struggle to set boundaries without appearing unfriendly.
Following this advice and making it custom, will protect women. Because…
The trick is all about a commitment
By waiting, women can ensure they are with someone who is genuinely committed, reducing the risk of emotional turmoil.
She’s aware this advice might be difficult to follow in today’s culture, where waiting is often seen as unconventional. But there are many benefits you’ll discover along the way.
Firstly, this approach helps women avoid the emotional complications that can arise because they are more likely to feel emotionally bonded through intimacy than men.
Also, she stressed that engaging in intimacy with someone you wouldn’t want to have children with is a significant risk.
No contraception method is 100% safe and you don’t want to end up being pregnant with someone you don’t see yourself with.
Human reproduction is a very complex and delicate thing and there’s a huge coordination problem related to it:
“You’ve got to find the right person, you’ve got to find them at the right time, you’ve got to like ensure commitment from them.”
So waiting is a good strategy to ensure a healthy and happy relationship. Because…
“A lot of young women go along with (being intimate) even if they don’t want it.”
Then they end up feeling miserable, as intimacy makes women more emotionally attached than men.
Don’t let society decide when you should sleep with the man you’re dating! Sure, this idea might sound a bit controversial, but think about how it can protect you in so many ways.
I get it, waiting is hard, but why rush into physical intimacy with someone who might not be right for you? Focus on finding common ground and building a strong bond first. Then the bedroom talk will be far more enjoyable.