10 modi per affrontare un marito traditore

The feeling of rejection, of being replaced by someone else because you are no longer enough, is devastating. It can kill your marriage, tear the two of you apart, erasing every feeling and memory that you’ve ever had together.

When a man cheats, there are two options you’re left with. One is to concludere l'affare e andarsene e l'altro è trovare un motivo per perdonarlo.

Se pensate di poter trovare un modo per superare questa situazione, chissà, forse il vostro matrimonio si rivelerà migliore che mai, soprattutto se non ci sono altri painful signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore. Or if you think you could never forget what he has done to you, it’s better to leave, no matter how hurtful it is, and move on with your life.

Come affrontare un marito traditore?

1. Don’t make any sudden decisions

What you’re feeling right now is rage, depression, anger… all kinds of feelings mixed together at the same time. You’re not able to think straight because you’ve been hurt.

Forse il motivo per il suo imbroglio Forse ha a che fare con il vostro matrimonio. Ma il fatto è che forse è sinceramente dispiaciuto e si pente di ciò che ha fatto. Forse c'è un modo per risolvere la situazione.

That’s why you have to sleep on it. Let some time pass before you decide what to do by judging from the way he acts and whether he is sorry or not.

2. Pensare a se stessi

Use this time, until you reach a decision, to take care of yourself. Don’t let the pain destroy you. You have to keep it together because there is an important decision before you.

Infidelity can cause you to overeat or stop eating, to have insomnia or all kinds of other disorders. Don’t let it affect your well-being.

3. Cercare di scoprire il motivo per cui l'ha fatto.

Cerca di andare a fondo della questione. Forse l'ha fatto semplicemente perché lo voleva. Forse è così sconsiderato e l'infedeltà è qualcosa che lo eccita. In questo caso, non c'è nulla che possiate fare.

But on the other hand, maybe there is something he is lacking from you. Maybe something happened to him when he was a child and he’s been traumatized and now he’s seeking approval from a random woman.

Whatever the reason is, you have to find it out to be able to decide what’s next, whether you’ll leave or give him another chance.

Correlato: Marito dominante: 10 modi per essere l'alfa del vostro matrimonio

4. Chiedere aiuto

There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. Talk to your friends, the people who won’t judge you, and ask them what they think of the situation you’re in.

Or if he agrees to it (and he probably will), try couples counseling. Try talking to a professional who knows what they’re doing. Maybe they will help you find the solution which is best for the both of you.

5. Siate onesti con i vostri figli

Children see everything. Even if they don’t know what is going on, they know that something is wrong. Don’t be the bad guy and shut them out. They are also a part of the family and they have a right to know what’s going on.

This way, if you tell them, you’re going to be able to talk to them and assure them that they are going to be loved the same as before and that everything will be okay, one way or another.

Cambiate l'approccio a seconda dell'età e la cosa più importante è non mentirgli mai.

6. Don’t communicate with the other woman

You have nothing to say to her. It’s not your responsibility. This goes especially if he wants you to do his dirty work for him. Don’t go down that road.

He made the mess and he has to clean it up. If you do it for him, it won’t teach him responsibility and he’ll know that every time he screws things up, he’ll have you to clean up after him.

7. Ci vuole tempo per guarire e fidarsi di nuovo

If you stay with him, don’t expect everything to be normal right away. You won’t trust him for a long time. Even if he is the best husband ever, you still won’t trust him.

Il tempo deve passare e bisogna fare pace con il fatto che ti ha tradito. You’ll be stressed for a long time and a lot of things you see or do will remind you of the fact that he cheated on you.

Questo è il processo di elaborazione del lutto che dovete affrontare. Dovete arrabbiarvi, piangere e alla fine farete pace con lui. Ma solo se vedete che è veramente dispiaciuto e che si pente di aver fatto la cosa più stupida che potesse fare.

Correlato: Perché i mariti traditori restano sposati? 12 motivi più comuni

8. Pro e contro

Siate pratici. Controllate le finanze e la situazione abitativa. Verificate se avete la possibilità di lasciarlo perché, prima di farlo, assicuratevi di avere un posto dove vivere e abbastanza soldi per occuparvi delle cose essenziali.

9. Either learn to forgive…

You have to decide what you want. You can’t live in-between because that gets you nowhere. If you’re going to forgive him, do it.

Ma quando lo si fa, non si può più tornare indietro. Non c'è da assillarsi e da rivangare il passato.

10. … or just leave

If you see and feel in your heart that the fact he cheated on you will always bother you, that whenever he goes out you’ll wonder if he is with another woman, then do yourself a favor and leave.

It’s better to be single and happy than sposato e infelice.