5 cose da fare quando un uomo emotivamente non disponibile continua a tornare

Superare un uomo emotivamente non disponibile è difficile. Soprattutto quando quell'uomo emotivamente non disponibile continua a tornare.

Let’s be real here. When you start a new relationship, you don’t expect it to end.

You always hope that he is going to be the one for you, that he’s going to show you that love is worth fighting for.

And then, he shows you that he’s just another fucktard you fell hopelessly in love with.

How do you move on from that? You know that he’s not the one, you know that he screwed you over and over again, but hope is what breaks you every single time you think of him.

Ricordate ancora quanto fosse straordinario quando vi siete incontrati la prima volta, sentite ancora il sapore delle sue labbra sulle vostre e sperate ancora che torni.

Ma il fatto è che gli uomini emotivamente non disponibili devono prendere questa decisione da soli.

No one can force them to change and grow up. No one can make them change except themselves. And that’s the sucky part.

E adesso? Come si fa ad andare avanti in modo corretto da una relazione in cui ci si sentiva l'unica ad amare, in cui ci si sentiva come se si stesse urlando contro un muro di mattoni senza che accadesse nulla?

Diavolo, credete persino che il muro abbia più emozioni del vostro ex.

Come si fa a uscire da una relazione in cui si è dato il massimo e si è ottenuto in cambio solo dolore e frustrazione?

Let’s break it into a few parts. Firstly, we need to know what the hell he is going to do.

Farà la vittima, vi farà ingelosire, vi sbatterà tutto in faccia o vi consegnerà il pacchetto completo?

Then, it’s important to know how to react and what to do. Spoiler alert: it involves the no contact rule.

Ecco 5 cose che fanno gli uomini emotivamente non disponibili dopo una rottura:

Fare la vittima

He will go around telling the story of how you’re the bad guy and he did nothing except love you the best way he knew.

He will tell that story to anyone with a set of ears and tits. Poor lad, he did nothing wrong and you ended it out of the blue. He’s simply doing this so he can keep his reputation.

In this case, he has no intention of winning you back, instead he’s trying to make you snap and confirm his story.

The best thing you can do here is ignoring all of it. You and your friends know the truth and that’s all that matters.

Sapete che avete fatto del vostro meglio e non è successo nulla. Sapete che ci avete provato, ma lui si è rifiutato di fare lo stesso.

So, don’t give him the pleasure of winning once more. Ignore his lying ass and let those poor girls find out the truth the hard way. They won’t believe you anyway, even if you told them, he’s that good at his games.

Ti fa impazzire di gelosia

Vi sbatterà in faccia la sua nuova ragazza finché non inizierà a farvi impazzire e quando gli manderete un messaggio per chiedere spiegazioni, vi informerà con calma che la vostra relazione è finita.

You two have nothing to talk about, you moved on and so did he. He will make you wonder what the hell is the truth and what’s not.

Let me tell you, happy, grown-up people don’t fuck over their exes.

They don’t play games and parade around with their new arm candy. And you know that he’s doing exactly that.

Give yourself a break and let him play all the games he wants. You’re better off without him anyway. Embrace your single life and this new opportunity life gave you.

Rimbalzi

Passare alla prossima serie di organi necessari per aumentare il suo piccolo ego non è altro che un bisogno per lui.

You see, if he doesn’t find someone soon enough to boost his confidence, he needs to face the hell he put you through and actually think about his actions for a second. And that’s something he’s not familiar with. Thus, rebounding.

Se a questo si aggiungono i giochi di gelosia, si ha un vincitore! Un uomo emotivamente immaturo che potrebbe far vergognare Barney Stinson.

Consider yourself lucky here, you dodged a bullet in a way. It doesn’t mean it hurts less but it means that life gave you lemons for you to make a whiskey sour.

Disclaimer: Alcohol is not the answer but it sure as hell helps to solve some of life’s mysteries. Or create new ones. It’s fun, either way.

Amici con benefici

Sapete cosa vuole quando vi chiede di rimanere amici. Vuole tutti i vantaggi della relazione senza l'impegno. Tesoro, tu meriti di più.

You deserve more than being someone’s backup plan and safety net. And you deserve more than to be his late-night booty call.

Questo dipende solo da voi. Se potete essere amici con lui, senza tutte queste cose benefiche, fatelo.

Non tutti sono uguali e non tutti hanno bisogno degli stessi passi per guarire.

Maybe you need to be close to him to remind yourself every day that you’re better off without him.

Oppure avete bisogno che scompaia dalla faccia della terra. Ma qualsiasi cosa facciate, ricordatevi di mettere voi stesse e i vostri bisogni al primo posto. Anche voi meritate di essere felici.

Mettersi in mostra

He goes off the radar for a while and all of a sudden he’s traveling the world, starting a successful business and he’s Instagramming the shit out of it all.

I mean, if he wasn’t that much into social media before, think a bit about the reason behind this new-found social media love.

I think you already know the answer. The reason behind all of this is to show you that he’s so much better than you are.

Maybe what he did to you and the way he hurt you affected his ego and shook his world for a bit but have no fear—he’s back on his feet again.

Deve essere il migliore là fuori, deve avere le ragazze migliori intorno a sé, la macchina migliore e sbatterti tutto in faccia.

It’s his way of telling you that he has moved on and there’s no chance in hell you will ever get back together.

La soluzione a questo problema? La regola del non contatto. Bloccatelo su tutti i social media, cancellate le sue foto dal telefono e fate del vostro meglio per ignorarlo.

But don’t forget to remind yourself every single day that you are amazing and worthy and the fiercest human being out there. You swam oceans of your sadness and you conquered hell. He’s nothing compared to that.

Tenete presente che un uomo emotivamente non disponibile non tornerà mai strisciando da voi.

È un maestro della manipolazione e vi farà venire da lui, con tutti questi giochi di gelosia, di ostentazione, di ripicca e di rimanere amici con voi.

The whole idea is that you see only the best of him, which is supposed to make you miss him like crazy. And the worst part? It actually works. When we’re in love, we’re not thinking clearly. And he knows it.

Ecco quindi 5 cose da fare quando il vostro uomo emotivamente non disponibile continua a tornare:

Rimanere fuori dalla portata

 

Tell him that you’re done and show him. Every time he calls you, show him you’re not there for him.

Every time he wants to make you jealous, show him that you don’t care.

Pretend that he’s no longer there and when it’s necessary to acknowledge his existence, give him an Academy Award-winning smile. Make sure that you are out of reach of him, from his games and toxic love.

Ricorda che non sei mai stato tu

Non è mai stata colpa tua. La sua incapacità di impegnarsi e di rimanere fedele non ha nulla a che fare con voi.

Hai dato il meglio di te, ti sei fatto in quattro per far funzionare questa relazione.

And sometimes, it just doesn’t. Because it takes two for love and you were the only one working on it.

And every time he comes back to you, asking for a second chance or driving you crazy with his mind games, remind yourself that you’re better than that. Remind yourself that his immature ass doesn’t deserve your time.

Ignorare gli aspetti positivi e credere a quelli negativi

I’ve been there, where you are now. Always thinking about the good times we had together and all the times he made me feel like I was the most amazing woman out there. Like I was the only one for him and the world was at our feet.

Ma il fatto è che non è mai stato così. Non sono mai stata l'unica per lui e non c'è mai stato un futuro da condividere.

And it wasn’t until I realized the true nature of our relationship that I was able to move on.

If you are sure you don’t want him in your life anymore, focus on the negatives. Focus on all the times you stared at an empty screen, waiting for his message.

Concentratevi su tutte le volte che vi ha illuso, le volte in cui vi ha promesso il mondo e non vi ha dato nulla. Vedetelo per quello che è, non per la persona che ha finto di essere.

Don’t put yourself at his beck and call and keep the no contact rule

When you’re involved with an emotionally unavailable man, the thing is that you control your role.

At first, you don’t know who he is and you give him everything, because that’s just how you love.

But later on, once you see him for who he is, it’s incredibly important for you to change that role.

Cut him off and don’t go running to him the moment he calls you. I get it, you still love him and you want to help him but you need to help yourself first!

And that’s exactly why keeping the no contact rule is essential for you to move on.

It’s the only way that you can show him loud and clear that you have moved on and you’re no longer up for his games and manipulations. It’s time for him to look for another victim because you ain’t one.

Diventate la donna che avete sempre ammirato

Quella donna straordinaria e feroce che non permette a nessuno di toglierle il suo valore. La donna che si fa valere, a prescindere da ciò che la vita le lancia. La donna che ha tutte le carte in mano e sa come usarle.

Guess what? You are already that woman. Just because you fell, it doesn’t mean you’re no longer her.

Just because you believed and hoped, it doesn’t mean you’re not badass and fierce.

And just because you loved the wrong man, it doesn’t mean you’re less of a badass woman.

You may lose your ground for a second but you know where you stand. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise!