9 segni tossici di doppi standard nelle relazioni di coppia
Double standards in relationships are quite common and it seems it’s been that way since the beginning of time.
Sia gli uomini che le donne li usano l'uno sull'altro e nessuno è innocente, ma in qualche modo sembra che le donne abbiano sempre la peggio.
Different rules apply to men and women. Generally speaking and in most of the world’s cultures, when it comes to male-female relationships, things can get pretty unfair.
So che il mondo non è giusto, ma le donne devono esserlo giudicato più duramente per aver fatto le stesse cose che fanno gli uomini?
Certo che no. Ma lo fanno comunque, e ci sono molti uomini tossici là fuori che usano due pesi e due misure nelle relazioni a loro vantaggio.
Si presume che in questo secolo le cose siano cambiate e che i due pesi e le due misure appartengano al passato.
Purtroppo, però, ci sono bandiere rosse di questo tipo di comportamento in tutto il mondo.
Quindi fate attenzione e analizzate i segnali tossici dei doppi standard nelle relazioni che non dovreste mai tollerare.
Elenco dei doppi standard nelle relazioni sentimentali:
1. When men have female friends, they expect you to look at it as something quite normal and acceptable, but you having male friends doesn’t go so well with him.
Non si tratta solo di una questione di due pesi e due misure nelle relazioni, ma ha anche a che fare con la fiducia.
Quando si ha fiducia in la vostra relazione, other male or female friendships of your significant other won’t be an issue.
La differenza principale tra uomini e donne in questo caso è che le donne vengono etichettate come gelose e pazze anche solo per aver pensato che potesse esserci qualcosa che va oltre l'amicizia.
D'altro canto, gli uomini cercano comprensione perché si sentono minacciati dall'intera situazione.
Your partner shouldn’t ask you to ditch your guy friends just because the two of you are exclusive now.
He should understand that your male friends were in your life long before him and if you wanted to have something more than friendship, you already would’ve.
It’s not okay for him to ask you to tolerate something he is unable to. Protect your friendships and don’t risk losing a good friend for someone who clearly doesn’t trust you.
A good partner understands that you’ve had a long life before him and during that time you’ve cultivated many friendships.
Some of them are with men who ended up being among your closest friends. If he trusts you, he knows you’d never do anything to endanger your relationship.
If he doesn’t, he’ll pressure you to stop seeing your guy friends.
It’s up to you to decide who gets to control your life and your friend group. And that person should be you and you only, so make it known.
2. When men are strongly opinionated, they’re called driven, macho and confident. When women are strongly opinionated, they’re called bitches.
Una bella differenza. Come se fosse tornato il Medioevo e si dovesse impedire alle donne di dire le loro idee in modo schietto e diretto.
It’s funny how in this day and age, women are looked at differently and called bitches just because they dare to stand for what they believe in.
L'uomo che vi dà della boccalona e vuole limitare la vostra libertà di parola non è sicuramente l'uomo che fa per voi.
L'unica opinione che gli interessa è la sua e non ha alcun interesse ad ascoltare ciò che avete da dire.
Ci sono anche uomini che si sentono intimiditi dalla forza, donne intelligenti e gli uomini così non sono quelli con cui dovresti uscire.
And you need to realize that those men aren’t macho and confident; they’re weak and they’re cowards.
They feel threatened by a woman who’s powerful and opinionated, and they make her feel bad about it to boost their own fragile ego.
Recognize a weak man when he tries to diminish a strong woman’s flame. A real man builds his woman up and pushes her to be her best self.
Un uomo debole la abbatte, la fa sentire sbagliata per il fatto di essere forte e le dà della puttana.
I think it’s time this charade stops and the only way that’s ever going to happen is when each woman speaks up.
3. Quando gli uomini hanno un numero maggiore di partner intimi vengono applauditi, mentre le donne con un numero simile vengono svergognate.
When a man has seen more naked female bodies than he can count, he is a hero among his friends. He is a hot-shot and that’s perfectly normal.
But if a woman had to admit it openly, she’d be slut-shamed. She would be labeled as “easy” or called all sorts of names.
Yes, this still happens. It doesn’t seem quite fair, does it? It’s because it isn’t and women should be able to decide who they sleep with and when, just like men do.
If you’re dating someone who’s putting you down because your number of past intimate partners is high (and/or current for non-exclusive, open relationships), you’re dealing with the wrong man.
Questo non dovrebbe mai essere un problema. La vostra vita in camera da letto o il vostro passato non dovrebbero mai essere rinfacciati.
Some find love with their high school sweetheart and some find it later on. Your number will probably depend on that and that’s not something you should be ashamed of.
Don’t tolerate that kind of behavior.Don’t ever let a man tell you you’re a slut for having had the exact same number of intimate partners as him.
Questo tipo di comportamento è spaventoso e non fa che riportarci indietro nel tempo.
Be proud of your choices and stand behind them no matter what. If he has a problem with that, he’s a prick with no respect and no morals. You need un vero uomo, and that’s not him.
4. When a man spends his entire day playing video games, that’s totally okay, but when a woman spends her entire day shopping, she’s superficial.
The thing is shopping, just as video games, are good pastime activities – something you do to relax and have some fun after all those hectic days.
It’s more than obvious that men and women look at things differently, but nobody should be judged for what they do in their spare time.
If a man you’re dating expects you to understand him being a gamer, he should understand your urge to go shopping, on a girl’s night out, mountain climbing, or whatever your favorite pastime is.
Remind him that you don’t get his urge to play games, but you respect it. In the same way, he should respect your interests, too, and let you enjoy your life on your own terms.
5. When a woman works long hours she’s scorned for being a careerist, and when a man does the same he’s hardworking and praiseworthy.
There’s nothing wrong with working hard and being ambitious. In a healthy relationship, partners will support and back each other up.
They’ll celebrate each other’s victories and never feel intimidated by the other’s success.
That is, providing that you’re never too busy to sustain a relationship and find time for each other, because what’s the point of being in a relationship if you never see your partner?
Tuttavia, se la relazione è malsana e ci si trova con qualcuno di tossico, i due pesi e le due misure saranno abbastanza evidenti.
Your partner won’t be the wind beneath your wings that helps you fly. He’ll be the one pinning you to the ground.
Vi farà sentire come se non foste abbastanza competenti o bravi per avere successo.
That’s exactly the thing you shouldn’t tolerate. Be with someone who always pushes you to do more and be more because he sees all the potential and all the greatness within you.
Be with someone who doesn’t see your success as his failure.
Difendendo te stessa e il tuo diritto di lavorare duramente come gli uomini e di essere rispettata allo stesso modo, aprirai la strada alle giovani donne del mondo per trovare la loro strada e non sopportare le stronzate che fai tu e il resto di noi.
6. When a man spends his entire day doing nothing wearing his boxers shorts, it’s cute. When a woman does the same wearing her PJs, she’s lazy, sloppy, and entirely neglecting herself and her man.
Anche questo è un aspetto che dovrebbe essere lasciato al passato. Nell'era moderna, uomini e donne dovrebbero essere uguali in tutto, anche nelle faccende quotidiane.
Cose come cucinare e pulire dovrebbero coinvolgere entrambi i partner.
Lo stesso dovrebbe essere fatto per i giorni di ozio, a cui entrambi i partner hanno diritto in egual misura.
Nessuno è al di sopra di nessuno e i tempi in cui le donne si occupavano di ogni esigenza dell'uomo sono ormai lontani. Che sfortuna, ragazzi!
Due persone in una relazione sono partner ed entrambe devono investire nella loro relazione e fare lo sforzo necessario.
So, take turns in doing everything, be both hardworking and lazy together. If he doesn’t agree with that, teach him how to take care of himself by leaving him all on his own
Quando un uomo viene abbandonato a se stesso, dovendo cucinare, pulire e occuparsi delle faccende quotidiane da solo, solo allora si renderà conto di quanto impegno le donne mettano in tutto ciò che fanno.
Damn straight we deserve to have our lazy days where we don’t have to dress up for anyone, impress anyone’s friends, and act in a way that pleases those around.
Ci meritiamo i nostri giorni di riposo più degli uomini per la quantità di sforzi che mettiamo in ogni cosa solo per essere trattate con la metà del rispetto.
7. Quando passa una serata in città con i ragazzi, dovreste mostrare comprensione, ma quando uscite con le ragazze, lui mostra gelosia, rabbia e frustrazione.
Talk about double standards in relationships. He’s looking for understanding every time he’s out with his male friends.
On the other hand, he is unable to understand your need to do the same with your female friends. It’s hypocritical, to say the least.
If he expects you to trust him when he’s out uscire con gli amiciSe non ha mai avuto problemi con le donne, con le discoteche e con le feste con tutte le altre donne che lo circondano, dovrebbe fidarsi di voi anche per quanto riguarda gli uomini.
It’s not okay to have different sets of standards for you and for him. Once again, let me stress the importance of the word equality in a relationship.
If he gets to go out and let loose, so do you. If he gets to party until the wee hours of the night, so do you! No apologies. No pressure to be ”better” and no nothing.
Solo due partner che si godono la vita in modo equo e solidale. Al primo sguardo di lui che suggerisce il contrario, è necessario mostrargli la porta e non guardare mai indietro.
8. When it’s okay for a guy to have a wandering eye, but not for a woman to have one too.
Quando passa una donna attraente e sexy, nove uomini su dieci la controllano da cima a fondo e non vedono alcun problema in questo.
They’ll even follow up that long stare with random comments about how her butt looks nice or how beautiful she is.
On the other hand, if an attractive man passes by and you give him nothing more than a gaze, most men won’t even think twice about calling you out on it.
They’ll be unable to understand why you have the necessity to check out some random guy.
Hello? He’s done the same exact thing just the other day to a woman he barely knows in your presence. Don’t tolerate his double standards.
Spiegate che lui ha fatto lo stesso e che voi l'avete superato, e che se lui riesce a controllare i suoi occhi vaganti, lo farete anche voi.
The other solution might be accepting that checking somebody out doesn’t have any connection with your relationship or mutual feelings.
Accorgersi di qualcun altro è una cosa naturale.
Chasing after somebody else while in a relationship is completely different, more serious, and unforgivable, and it shouldn’t be confused with something as simple as a occhio errante.
9. When he stays in contact with his ex, that’s okay, but when you do the same, it’s a lack of loyalty.
Coinvolgere il proprio ex nella nuova relazione è una cosa complicata. Non molte persone sono in grado di gestirlo e questo genera confusione fin dall'inizio.
However, some people are able to stay in good relationships with their exes, but that relationship should never be more important than the one you’re in now.
Your new partner shouldn’t feel like they come last and your ex first. There’s a reason they’re an ex.
But if your partner’s using double standards here, he’ll excuse his contact with his ex but harshly judge yours.
He’ll blame you, and you’re probably going to have a lot of fights that include the ex-factor.
Don’t let him get away with it. What goes for you, goes for him too.
Talk openly. Don’t let your exes dictate your current relationship. You both should put your current relationship first.
Pensieri finali
Now that you’ve red this article ask yourself a few questions: State sopportando i comuni doppi standard nella vostra relazione?
Have you had enough of being treated differently simply because you’re a woman?
If so, it’s time to recognize that, speak up, and start making a change.
It’s time to stop putting up with that guy friend who’ll ”jokingly” say something that is totally sexist, long-term relationships where every single guy thinks he has the right to give input on your clothing choices and pressure you to be a stay-at-home woman.
It’s a very bad thing when your man makes you feel like the less capable partner and imposes those toxic double standards on you.
Le relazioni romantiche consistono nello spingere l'altro a essere la versione migliore di se stesso e nel sollevarsi a vicenda.
Who made him the boss of you in the first place? Am I right? You’re the one who needs to show him what goes and what won’t fly.
Mostrategli un nuovo voi se percepite che il suo comportamento è al limite del un relazione abusiva.
For instance narcissist thinks he can control his intimate relationships and make the first move every time, but it’s time they’re all shown that women have just as much power as men.
Quando le donne si renderanno conto delle loro capacità, nessun uomo sarà in grado di eguagliare la loro determinazione.
If there’s one main takeaway from all of this, it’s to never let a man tell you how you should live your life.
You’re just as worthy, just as hard-working, and you put in double the effort for half the respect.
Times have not been kind to women and if there was ever a time when our voices should be heard, it’s now.
Tutto inizia con una donna e un'azione. Quando mostrerete al vostro uomo come dovrebbe trattarvi, le vostre amiche e sorelle lo vedranno e forse faranno lo stesso.
And bit by bit, it’s going to become too loud and too obvious to ignore. No more BS, no more relazioni tossichee non ci calpestano più.
We’re badass and we’re strong, and we’re here to get what’s ours. Who can stop us once we’re united in our determination?
That’s right – nobody.
Iniziate quindi a cambiare il vostro rapporto di coppia e, da quel momento in poi, continuate a farlo in tutti gli ambiti della vita.
It’s a small step for you, but a huge one for women overall. Fight your fight and never forget that without women, there would be nothing.
