10 caratteristiche tossiche e distruttive di una persona invidiosa
Like it or not, many of us aren’t able to count our own blessings, but instead go count those of other people and use it to feed our envy.
This article will help you learn how to recognize you’re actually circondati dall'invidia insegnandovi le caratteristiche comuni di una persona invidiosa.
Envy is one of the seven deadly sins. Even if you’re not religious, in terms of figuring out life and setting your moral standards, this says a lot.
Perché le persone diventano gelose l'una dell'altra?
Jealousy and envy are not the same things, but the term “jealous people” is commonly used to describe those who are actually envious.
Le persone con tratti caratteriali specifici, come una bassa autostima, sono più inclini a diventare gelose, ma ci sono anche alcune situazioni di vita che fanno emergere il peggio anche in chi di solito non è un tipo invidioso/geloso.
Come si riconosce una persona invidiosa?
A person who’s envious isn’t always easy to spot.
They can be a huge part of your life and it can even seem like they truly care about your well-being if you don’t analyze things they say or do on a deeper level.
Spesso una persona invidiosa è un narcisista occulto, prosciugando tutta la gioia senza che ve ne rendiate conto.
La cosa peggiore di averli nella propria vita è che possono essere intenzionalmente dannosi, poiché la vostra felicità li addolora.
E a seconda della forza e della profondità della loro invidia, possono distruggere la vostra vita.
Let’s talk about the specific traits of an envious person.
10 caratteristiche velenose di una persona invidiosa
Fare complimenti falsi
Jealous people give insincere compliments. They tell the person they envy that they like certain things about them, which they, in reality, don’t.
They think they’re supposed to compliment the other person in order to make it look like they genuinely like them.
Un'altra cosa che possono fare è offendere un'altra persona sotto forma di complimento. Questa è la loro aggressività passiva.
On the surface, they want to act nice, but there’s so much buried anger and hatred inside of them and they have to let it out somehow, so they use insults sugarcoated in compliments.
This maybe doesn’t seem like something awful, but if you realize that someone in your life is constantly doing this, this is definitely a red flag.
Eccitarsi per l'infelicità di una persona invidiata
This is obvious, but it is the aspect that helps differentiate between benign and malicious envy, and that’s why it’s important to talk about.
A person who’s envious secretly (or sometimes not so secretly) feels joy whenever something goes wrong in the life of the person they envy. They simply can’t help it.
This can be very obvious because they usually can’t stop their lips from widening into a smile – that’s how content they are by a person they envy going through something unfortunate or difficult.
Disclaimer: ci sono persone che ridono o sorridono in risposta allo stress.
If your best friend starts laughing when they hear something bad has happened to you, that’s probably just their reaction to a stressful situation.
Still, pay attention to their other behaviors. Just because you’ve known someone for a long time doesn’t mean that they aren’t an envious person.
Fate attenzione a chi vi fidate: non tutti sono vostri amici..
Un amico o una persona invidiosa cercherà di nascondere la propria felicità e potrebbe persino essere troppo comprensiva e darvi improvvisamente troppi consigli su come risolvere la situazione.
Attenzione però: di solito i loro consigli sono intenzionalmente cattivi.
Making other people’s achievements look trivial
An envious person, just like a narcissist, wants to diminish your feeling of self-worth. They don’t like seeing you all perky and happy, especially not when you’ve just accomplished something great.
Se parlate con loro dei vostri risultati passati, di solito vi dicono tutti i motivi per cui quei risultati non sono nulla di cui vantarsi e vi propongono tutta la loro serie di risultati che sono incredibili al confronto.
If you tell them you just finished your undergrad studies, they’ll say something like “Oh, that’s nothing, I’m working on a PhD right now…” This is an oversimplification, but you get the point.
They don’t want to see you happy or successful, nor do they want you to be proud of your achievements.
When you feel like you’re satisfied with your life, you’re content, and everything’s running smoothly, that’s when they hate you most.
Cercare di copiare la persona che invidiano
Avete presente quando al liceo qualcuno ha avuto la stessa cosa che avete avuto voi e vi siete arrabbiati per questo?
You maybe didn’t know why you felt the way you did, but the fact is we all prefer to have our own unique styles, things, and ways of living.
Una persona invidiosa, invece di spingere sulla propria originalità, cerca costantemente di copiare la persona che invidia.
They want to have what you have. They are incredibly jealous of the things that are yours. Whether it’s your good looks, material possessions, friends, family, accomplishments… – they want it.
They start thinking that if they do the same things you do, they’ll become like you and get what you have. This is one of the first signs of envy you might actually notice.
Jealous people might start buying the same clothes you buy, watching the same TV shows, hanging out at the same places…
Naturalmente, non tutti coloro che fanno quello che fate voi sono invidiosi di voi, ma se notate che questo sta diventando uno schema, probabilmente lo sono.
Emphasizing the envied person’s mistakes
They are thrilled when the person they envy makes a mistake. No matter how small it is, they can’t wait for it to happen.
If there’s no fresh mistakes to be happy about, they’ll bring back bad things from the past just to remind both you and themselves that you’re not perfect.
Their envy gets them thinking you have it all and they’re over the moon with joy when it becomes apparent that you don’t.
The person who’s envious will always be on the lookout for when you take a wrong turn – it’s what helps them deal with everything they’re feeling.
The green-eyed monster is not kind to them either. It’s hard feeling how they feel and they are simply looking for relief.
Inability to accept the envied person’s success
People whose envy of the other person runs really deep won’t be able to handle their success at all. How does this manifest?
If you’ve managed to do something amazing in your life and are finally feeling fulfilled, they more often than not leave.
That’s how much it bugs them to see you succeed. They remove themselves from your life completely.
They might tell you a fake story of how you’ve changed, how something in their life has changed, or make it look like you’ve simply drifted apart.
In un certo senso, questo dimostra che si preoccupano per voi e che non riescono a contrastare il loro sentimento irrefrenabile di gelosia over what you have and they don’t.
There’s also a chance they won’t be able to stay away from your life and keep checking in, hoping that things have gone bad for you and you’re no longer as successful as you were when they left.
Enfatizzare eccessivamente il proprio successo
Tutti gli esseri umani desiderano essere apprezzati, riconosciuti e avere successo.
Still, if someone (who also does other things in this list) is overemphasizing their own success, especially when they are making your success look trivial, that’s a good sign they’re envious.
Jealous people want to be seen as better, stronger, prettier – than you are. They are trying to prove something both to themselves, but also to you and the rest of the world.
By exaggerating when talking about their accomplishments, they’re trying to put themselves first and show that they also have it good – or more accurately, better than you do.
When they do something well, you probably hear about it many times, especially if it’s something you’re not good at or an area of life you’ve had less success in.
Talking behind the envied person’s back
Jealous people are all nice face to face, but when the person they envy is gone, they’re all trash talk.
Lo fanno per due motivi diversi.
First, they want other people to notice the flaws of the person they envy. They’re tired of others talking about the envied person’s achievements or virtues.
In secondo luogo, parlare male alle vostre spalle è il loro sfogo. Hanno tanta energia negativa e gelosa immagazzinata dentro di loro e devono sfogarla in qualche modo.
They aren’t willing to tell you all those nasty things to your face because they aren’t willing to lose you; something ties them to you.
Still, they can’t keep it inside, so talking trash behind your back is what they do.
Rest assured that every embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you that they know about will be their juicy gossip for when they have coffee with their friends.
If you confront them, they tell you that they only shared a funny story among friends and didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
Something will feel off, though, and you’ll probably recognize that they aren’t as innocent as they appear.
Parlare male e prendere in giro la persona invidiata
Another way jealous people release their envy is by mocking the person or talking down to them. There might be something about you that’s considered to be a weakness.
Lo usano per farvi sentire in colpa ogni volta che possono.
Also, if you put your mind to doing something good for yourself, they tell you that you aren’t good/qualified/persistent/strong enough.
They go out of their way to show you that you shouldn’t be trying to improve your life or doing whatever it is you choose to do because you have weaknesses that can’t be overlooked.
They make you think your issues are something you can’t overcome.
They don’t want to see your self-esteem blossom and this is their way to ruin it.
Cercare di competere con la persona invidiata
If there’s a chance, they try to show you that they can be better than you, even though you’re not competing with them and don’t look at the given situation that way.
They are trying to win a fight you don’t even know exists.
While you’re oblivious to anything going on, they’re likely plotting how to prove themselves to be better than you in something you both do or that’s a part of both of your lives.
They may try to ”win” in work-related situations, family life, relations with your mutual friends, or basically anything, no matter how trivial it may seem to you.
While you’re naively sharing your everyday experiences, they’re thinking of ways to show you they’re better in that particular area of life you’re talking about.
Queste caratteristiche di una persona invidiosa sono quelle a cui dovete prestare attenzione.
Signs of jealousy aren’t always easy to recognize, but if a person demonstrates a couple of behaviors from this list, there’s a good chance they are envious of you.
What to do if you’re the envious one?
While reading these characteristics of an envious person, you may have noticed that some of them apply to you and realized that it’s actually you who could be the envious one.
Possiamo essere invidiosi inconsciamente e non pensare mai alle cose che facciamo per sfogare l'invidia.
Se questo ha senso per voi e pensate che potreste reprimere spiacevoli sentimenti di gelosia, ci sono delle cose che potete fare.
First of all, ask yourself: “Why am I an envious person?”
Think about what’s making you feel envy towards people you care about (or even those you don’t even know).
Cos'è che loro hanno e voi volete?
Esistono diversi tipi di invidia, ma solo uno di essi è tossico.
There’s benign envy – the one where the person feels envious but in a way that keeps them improving their life, not wishing to harm others.
They want to build themselves up in order to match the person they’re envious of.
Malicious envy, on the other hand, makes the person destructive and toxic in the way that they enjoy to see the person they’re envious of in pain.
If those things are something you really care about and wish to have or do, think about the ways you can achieve your goals and turn your jealousy/envy into a benign one – the one that pushes you to be better.
If someone you’re envious of has something you can’t get under any circumstances for whatever reason, to combattere la gelosiainiziare a pensare alla propria vita.
Imparate a essere grati per ciò che avete.
Focusing on other people’s lives and their blessings is a never-ending downward spiral. If you choose to do down that path, you’ll end up feeling miserable all the time.
There will always be things people have that you can’t have. Giving so much energy into thinking about those things is pointless.
Non c'è vittoria.
Smettete di paragonarvi agli altri e decidete di paragonarvi solo a chi eravate ieri.
For all of you who found this topic to be relevant to you, whether it’s you who’s envious or you’re doubting there are envious, jealous people in your life, there’s one thing to keep in mind.
L'invidia è qualcosa che compare nella vostra vita senza che lo abbiate chiesto. Può essere opprimente, fastidioso e difficile da affrontare.
Mostrare sempre apprezzamento, gentilezza, and empathy towards others. That’s the only way to minimize the negative emotions every human being is bound to have in their lifetime.
