Le conseguenze di un abuso emotivo

Anche se usava le parole invece dei pugni, si trattava comunque di un abuso.

Forse non ti ha mai picchiato, ma le sue parole ti hanno fatto più male di qualsiasi schiaffo in faccia o di qualsiasi calcio con la gamba. E la cosa peggiore è che pensavate che sarebbe cambiato.

You thought that you were just having a crisis in your relationship and that after some time he would figure out how much he loved you. But you know what? He never did. You were never important to him and that’s why he abused you so much. For every problem that he had in his life, you were the guilty one.

Per ogni schiaffo che la vita gli ha dato, il colpevole eri tu. Per tutti i suoi momenti di dolore, lei era lì per dargli la colpa.

E tu, cieca e innamorata, hai sopportato per anni tutte le sue stronzate.

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The day when you left him was the worst one of your life because he always told you that you wouldn’t make it unless he was there. He brainwashed you and all you could see in the mirror was just a shell of the girl you had been before.

I just want you to know that I can understand how you feel. Just like you, I’ve been there. Just like you, I gave second chances. And just like you, I ended up broken and in tears. It took me some time to recover from that abuse and to settle down. But I was no longer the same me. I could still love, but questa volta ho amato in modo diverso. E questo è qualcosa che passerà anche per voi.

Vivrete costantemente in uno stato di guardia.

For a long time, you won’t be able to relax because you will think that every man who comes into your life will do you the same thing as your abuser. It will be hard to win you over and most of all it will be hard for you to trust people again. You will feel that something is wrong every time someone approaches you, so you will pull back.

Vi chiederete come vi state comportando.

While you were being emotionally abused, you had the constant feeling that your partner didn’t understand your actions or your words. That made you so confused but the truth was that he was telling you to do what he thought was right.

Non si è mai preso cura dei tuoi sentimenti e dei tuoi bisogni. Per lui eri solo una bambola e lui era il padrone delle marionette, che ti controllava come voleva.

Now, after everything has finished, you will realize that people around you understand you perfectly well and that only one man couldn’t do that.

Avrete la sensazione che ci sia qualcosa di sbagliato in voi.

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Dopo aver Quando vi liberate dal vostro abusatore, vi sembrerà di essere troppo danneggiati per amare di nuovo qualcuno. Ma quando passerete un po' di tempo con le persone che amate, alla fine vedrete che non siete poi così danneggiati.

Certo, avrete dei lividi emotivi, ma tutti quelli che hanno lottato li hanno. La cosa più importante, dopo tutto, è che eravate ancora in piedi e che non vi siete mai arresi.

Vi chiederete cosa sia andato storto.

Ogni vittima di un abuso emotivo will think about the things that she was doing in the last relationship and how they affected it. You will sometimes ask yourself if things could have been better if you’d had a different defense mechanism.

You will think about things that you did or didn’t do and you will have a constant feeling that you could have done things better. Please, stop doing this because it wasn’t your fault. Not a second of your relationship with him was your problem because your abuser was guilty of everything.

Sarete ansiosi e depressi. E, in tutta franchezza, si tratta di una situazione che ogni vittima di abuso emotivo affronta.

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A un certo punto, penserete di essere pazzi, ma questa sensazione svanirà presto. L'unica persona che era pazza in quella relazione era lui. Quindi, siate forti quando attraversate questo periodo della vostra vita e ricordate che alla fine vi siete salvate da colui che avrebbe potuto rovinarvi.

Avrete sfiducia nelle relazioni future.

It is not that simple to give your heart to someone new, not knowing if he will hurt you like the man before him. That’s why you will look like someone who plays hard to get but inside, your world will be falling apart and you will crave the love that you need so much.

Questo sentimento è una battaglia costante, ma da qualche parte lungo la strada, vedrete che non tutti gli uomini sono uguali.

Nulla del processo di guarigione sarà facile.

The aftermath of emotional abuse is characterized by different behavior moods. One day you will be happy and cheerful and the next you will feel depressed and you won’t get out of bed. You will think that nobody will ever love you again because you are broken.

Avrete un'ondata di pensieri negativi qua e là e saranno loro a dettare la vostra vita. Solo quando passerà un po' di tempo vi accorgerete che le cose non sono poi così male e che c'è una speranza per voi.

Desidererete non essere così sensibili.

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After any trauma, a person will feel bad. Every single comment can hurt them because they are so sensitive. This will happen to you too. Sometimes, you won’t be able to react to the simplest situation and you will just run away from all those things that make you feel like that.

You will want to be alone because in that way people won’t be able to hurt you. I just want you to know that you should take all the time in the world to heal. If you don’t like going out, don’t do it. Do things that you feel comfortable with.

You were putting up with someone’s wishes for a hell of a long time and it is time to finally put yourself first.

I know that you are an amazing person who just met a guy who ruined your life. If you could have been amazing before, I am sure that you can bring your old spark back. I won’t lie to you and tell you that the healing process will be fast; it won’t.

You will need a lot of time for yourself to fight those nasty demons of yours. You will cry yourself to sleep every night until you see that after that you will feel much better. And when you least expect it, you will meet someone who will bring you faith in love again. You just need to be patient because good things don’t happen overnight.

E il tuo abusatore?

You will probably never forget him. After all, he was a part of your life for a long time but all that he did to you made you the person you are today—strong, independent and definitely not ready to settle for less than she deserves.

In the end, I ask you for one thing only—forgive him for all that he did to you. Not because he deserves that forgiveness but because you deserve peace.