Ecco cosa hai guadagnato perdendolo

Mentre stavate con lui, pensavate che il mondo intero fosse a portata di mano. Pensavate che quello che avevate con lui fosse un vero affare, perché aveva fatto tutto il possibile per farvi innamorare di lui.

Unfortunately, after his “Mr. Darcy” period, instead of rising to new heights together, your whole world fell apart.

The truth is, you never really had him in the first place. You had an illusion of him and that’s it. You fell for a side of him that wasn’t truly his.

You fell for the guy he chose to show you, but he wasn’t that guy. He was totally the opposite of a good guy. He was toxic and you had no idea.

Il problema con essere parte di una relazione tossica is that you don’t even realize  that you’re in one.

Ricordate la storia della rana e dell'acqua bollente?

Ebbene, la rana non aveva idea che l'acqua stesse diventando sempre più calda, finché non fu troppo tardi.

The same thing might’ve happened to you—you might have stayed in a toxic relationship till there was nothing left of you anymore.

Fortunatamente, sei saltato fuori dall'acqua bollente appena in tempo per salvarti.

All'inizio, dopo averlo perso, vi è sembrato di aver perso tutto ciò che vi era familiare. Sembrava che il pavimento sotto i piedi fosse scomparso e che fosse solo questione di tempo prima di cadere nel buco. Ma la realtà era ben diversa.

Yes, by losing him, you lost a few things as well. Luckily, none of those things was a good thing. It’s nothing you should cry for.

La vostra ansia vi ha abbandonato insieme a lui.

Entrambi ci hanno messo troppo tempo a fare le valigie e ad andarsene, ma è stato un gran sollievo quando quegli ospiti hanno lasciato la vostra casa.

Tremavi per ogni minima cosa che facevi perché anticipavi la sua reazione.

Ogni cosa che facevate era seguita dalla paura che lui non approvasse, che non capisse e che vi mettesse nei guai.

For a long time, you were the girl that didn’t care for anyone’s opinion, but he made you feel insecure and scared, and for each and every thing you did or thought of doing, you felt like you needed his approval.

You needed him to go along with your ideas otherwise you’d live in hell with him withdrawing his attention and love from you. When you let him go, you let your anxiety go as well.

Dopo averlo perso, avete perso la sensazione di avere qualcuno e di non essere amati.

After he’d emotionally punish you for anything and everything, you’d just sit there, next to the man you love, and you’d feel like the loneliest person in the world.

If you’d just have stretched your arm, you could’ve touched him, but what was the use of it? After the episodes he’d put you through, he seemed more like your headsman than the man that loves and cares for you.

Dopo averlo perso, vi siete liberati dalla tortura di averlo seduto accanto a voi pur essendo distanti un miglio. 

If it was really a loss, I’d say it was a good loss.

You might think now that you’re missing a lot since he’s gone, but all the things that you’re left without now are the things that were actually not good for you.

Even if those things might have felt good, they were used for one sole purpose—for a toxic man to make you stay with him.

If you’d free yourself from the idea that you need him, you’d see that you’re doing really fine. If you’d just open your eyes, you’d see that you gained a lot more than you lost.

Hai guadagnato la tua libertà perdendo lui.

There isn’t a thing in this world holding you back now. There isn’t a thing or a person that might stop you. Y

ou are not going to hear a big fat ‘NO’ from anybody because nobody has that power over you, anymore. You finally took your freedom back in your hands—the only place where it really belongs.

Hai guadagnato il tuo lovena di perderlo.

You might think he’s your love, but he isn’t and he wasn’t. You need to let go of that idea and only then you’ll see where true love lies.

Trovi l'amore al mattino, quando ti svegli e non hai più paura. Trovi l'amore nel leggere quel libro o nel sorridere a un estraneo a caso.

You find love in your family and your friends that you get to see now since he’s no longer there to give you a hard time for making space in your heart for anybody else but him.

Hai trovato la felicità dopo averlo perso.

You might not see it yet, but you are happier now. The wrinkles that you have around your eyes are not from frowning or crying, but from those happy moments you’re living now.

You are a different person—you resemble the girl that you were before he made you change.

Hai riacquistato fiducia in te stessa dopo averlo perso.

You might think that you were confident because you had him sitting with you at the table or because you never had to walk into a room full of people alone, but that’s not what confidence is about.

You might have been confident when he was around, but the moment he left you alone, you’d start panicking and screaming inside.

You’d feel like there is a part of you missing and that you can’t do anything on your own. Luckily, that changed as well.

Ora potete entrare in una stanza piena di gente e sentirvi sicuri di voi stessi. Ora potete vedervi allo specchio e sentirvi belle.

Non c'è nessun altro che possa dirvi il contrario. Ora potete sostenere quel colloquio di lavoro e vedere se otterrete il posto, perché non c'è nessuno che vi impedisca di farlo facendovi sentire incompetenti.

Now, you get to become whoever you want because there is nobody to tell you you can’t.

Hai riacquistato la tua vita dopo averlo perso.

Anche se ha lasciato una cicatrice nel vostro cuore e forse avete pianto quando avete chiuso l'ultima pagina del vostro libro con lui.

Ora c'è spazio per le novità. Potrete ancora scrivere un altro libro e questa volta assicuratevi che abbia un lieto fine.