Sono stanco di lottare per qualcuno che non vuole lottare per me

I wish I could say that I hate you. I wish I could say that my love faded away and that I’m done because we both feel like it. But my love is still as strong for you as it was the first day. I still love you with all of my heart, with all of these broken pieces you made.

I wish I could say that we parted ways, but I don’t think we ever connected them in the first place. Now that I look back, I wonder whether there was a time you ever really loved me.

Quindi, questo sono io. Finalmente ti vedo per quello che sei.

My heart refused to accept the truth that you don’t love me. That you don’t love us. My heart wanted to believe that you are l'uno , because you were. It’s just that I’m not the one for you. So, I fought so hard to keep us safe. I fought till I lost my breath just so we could make it work.

Giving up on you, giving up on us was something I refused to think about. It was never an option because you were my only choice. You were the one that made me feel like I’m the happiest woman alive, so I forgot about the days I felt miserable.

Sei stato quello che mi ha fatto battere il cuore, così ho dimenticato i giorni in cui me lo hai spezzato. Eri quello che mi faceva sentire così bene da farmi dimenticare i giorni in cui mi facevi sentire inutile.

E io sono sempre stato quello che ci teneva di più. Quella che ha combattuto, quella che si è sacrificata per noi. Ho passato giorni a cercare di camminare nei tuoi panni, a cercare di capirti. Ho passato mesi a chiedermi cosa avrei potuto fare per farci funzionare. E quando te ne sei andato, ho passato un'eternità a chiedermi quando saresti tornato. Ma non sei mai tornato.

Quindi, questo sono io. Finalmente ho visto cosa eravamo.

Lasciarti andare was the hardest thing I ever did. Letting go of us was one sacrifice I wasn’t ready to make because it meant that I had to look back. It meant that I had to see us the way we were, not the version of us my heart decided to see.

My stupid, silly heart. So, you did it for me. You let go of us, you just walked away. One day, you just decided that you don’t want me in your life anymore. You decided that I was too much to handle, not seeing that I was the one that held you in one piece while life tore you down.

Che sono stata io a fare in modo che tu avessi una luce nei tuoi giorni più bui. Sono stato quello che ha portato via tutto il tuo dolore, ma nemmeno una volta ti sei chiesto dove fosse finito. Non una volta hai capito che soffrivo per te e a causa tua. Non una volta hai guardato indietro a noi.

Quindi, questa sono io. Finalmente mi vedo.

I don’t want to thank you for the lessons you taught me. I don’t want to thank you for being the worst before my best. Because I’m my own best. I’m my own lesson. I’m my own blessing after you were my curse.

The only thing I will ever thank you for is for staying true to yourself. Because it wasn’t until the loneliness hit me and drowned me down in pain, that I realized you were never there.

Eri seduto accanto a me e io mi sentivo solo. Dormivi nel mio letto e io stavo morendo di freddo. Eri lì, ma non per me. Mi ci è voluto troppo tempo per vederti per quello che sei, per vederci per come eravamo.

To see that I was the only one loving and fighting. To see that I was stuck in a one-sided relationship, thinking it’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

Quindi, questo me. Finalmente allontanarsi.

You want me back. You want us back. You’re saying that you can make us work—making promises you can’t keep and vows you don’t respect. But I’m done fighting for someone who never fought for me. For someone who will never fight for anyone but himself. I’m done fighting for you.