Il più grande errore che abbia mai commesso è stato dare tutto me stesso a te

Lo ammetto! Mi sono innamorata come una pazza, senza pensare al domani. Ti ho dato tutto me stesso senza chiederti di ricambiare. Sono stata una sciocca che hai usato per i tuoi sporchi piani. Eri un attore così bravo. Non ho mai visto nessuno comportarsi così, con così tante emozioni e il potere di far credere alle persone ciò che si vuole. E hai fatto lo stesso con me, la ragazza innocente che voleva solo sperimentare l'amore. Volevo solo qualcuno che si prendesse cura di me, che mi baciasse e mi abbracciasse perché lo vuole e non per ottenere ciò che vuole.

Lo ammetto! I made a terrible mistake. I totally lost myself over a toxic man like you. And the moment I gave my all to you, I made a mistake that almost killed me. Living with you, surrounded with your toxic love cost me my nerves, my health and my energy. You were like a vampire sucking all the positive energy from me. You were feeding your poor soul on me, not letting me leave you. During every attempt to leave you, you would tell me that you will change, that you are going through a crisis and that you love me. You knew a great way to deceive a girl who loved you. You knew what to say to make me feel good. You knew when to touch me so I could shiver from pleasure. You knew everything about me because I was like an open book to you. I told you even my darkest secrets while I didn’t have a clue about you. I told you all about my life while you kept your mouth shut. You didn’t want to reveal anything about yourself because there was nothing nice to tell.

Lo ammetto! I stayed longer than I should have, just because of your perfect lies. And that is something I can’t forgive myself for. You told me you are going to change but you kept on with le tue bugie e il tradimento. Ogni volta che ne avevi l'occasione, mi tradivi mentre mi dicevi che ero l'unica donna della tua vita e che senza di me saresti stato perso. Con te non mi sono mai sentita abbastanza bella, abbastanza degna o abbastanza intelligente. Eri sempre tu a condurre il discorso, a dare suggerimenti, a decidere. E io ero come una persona di contorno, che aspettava che tu finissi per dirti ancora una volta che ero d'accordo con te. Niente è mai stato secondo le mie regole e, vivendo con te, ho perso la fiducia in me stessa per le cose che sapevo fare bene prima.

Lo ammetto! A relationship with you was my biggest mistake and I will never forgive myself for staying with you for such a long time. I was a fool for letting you treat me like that. I gave you my all while you couldn’t even try to fight for what we had. You were such a coward for making me stay with you all this time without any intention to give me the love I needed. And you didn’t let me go find someone who would cherish me just the way I am. You wanted to have someone you could cure your frustration with. And that was the woman who loved you with all her heart. Even if you saw that you were hurting me, you didn’t stop even for a second. You didn’t feel any remorse for what you were doing to me and I was too weak to even react to that injustice.

Lo ammetto! I gave my love to the man who didn’t deserve it. I gave my all to someone who took my heart and walked all over it. I fell for a man who couldn’t love just one person, to be faithful to only one person. I was crazy in love with a man who couldn’t even fight for me when I wanted him to do that. And in the end, I totally lost myself over a man like that. I completely lost myself over a man who meant the world to me but who closed his eyes to all the love coming from me. And now, after all this time alone, I can finally understand that you were just a lesson I had to learn. You were just someone who showed me what I DON’T deserve.

E devo ammettere che Ho imparato questa lezione in modo duro. Sento ancora il sapore di quell'amore tossico e sto ancora lottando per tornare a essere la vecchia me. Ma non ho mai perso la speranza di giorni migliori. E so che un tempo migliore arriverà. Forse non domani o tra un mese, ma arriverà. Un giorno il mio cuore guarirà completamente e sarà pronto per un amore vero. Un giorno sarò di nuovo la vecchia me. E non permetterò mai a nessun uomo di trattarmi come hai fatto tu.

One day, I will feel the love I craved so much with a man who won’t try to change me. He will just accept me completely and thank you for letting me go.