Lezioni che ho imparato dopo che mi hanno spezzato il cuore

Le relazioni con gli altri possono essere spesso disordinate e a volte lo sono al punto che ci si perde in tutto questo trambusto.

Si finisce per chiedersi cosa diavolo stia succedendo e si finisce in un posto così buio senza avere idea di come ci si sia arrivati.

We all enter relationships with other people hoping for the best, but what happens when ‘the best’ doesn’t happen? What happens when instead of getting what you hoped for or what you deserved, you get your heart broken?

After I’d been through a lot in my life and after I’d had one troppi cuori infranti, I learned that I can’t continue walking through life constantly rushing into things and ending up falling flat on my face all the time.

Quando finalmente ho imparato a permettermi di vedere oltre il dolore che gli altri mi hanno procurato, ho imparato alcune cose preziose nella vita.

Here are my 11 most important lessons…

11. Nessuno è perfetto o come lo si immagina all'inizio.

È qui che commetto la maggior parte dei miei errori. Continuo a pensare che le persone siano come si presentano all'inizio.

And I never bother to look beyond their first layer, I never scratch to see what’s under the surface. Sometimes there is more to people than we see at first, be that better or worse.

Nobody is perfect and everyone has flaws. Perhaps those flaws aren’t displayed at first, but they are there and once all the excitement decreases, you’ll be able to see them.

At the end of the day, we’re all bound to show our true face to others eventually, so before you allow yourself to fall in love with someone, make sure you scratch under the surface and know who they really are.

10. Siete molto più forti di quanto pensiate

Every time I got my heart broken, I thought this is it, this is the one that will break me completely, this is my end and from this one, I won’t be able to recover.

And guess what? After each heartbreak, I recovered. Sometimes it took me a while, but eventually, I’d always rimettere a posto i pezzi del mio cuore infranto insieme.

At some point in your life, you’ll think you’ve come to the end of the road. You’ll think how life couldn’t hit you any harder and you’ll think about giving up so many times.

And when this happens, think about how many times before you have been in that situation and yet you’ve managed to pass through it.

Siete molto più forti di quanto pensiate because you’ve been brought into this life to be a fighter and not a person who gives up. Give yourself some credit for that.

9. Solo chi vi vuole veramente bene vi sarà vicino nei giorni più difficili.

When I was the most down, it wasn’t those people I thought would be there who were actually there for me, but those who truly cared for me. Those who I thought should be there for me couldn’t stand the phase I was going through, nor did they bother to try and understand it.

They said that I was either being too dramatic about it or that I should just snap out of it. On the other hand, the people I wouldn’t have thought of being there for me at first were actually the ones who held my hand when I needed it the most and who helped me get back up.

Just because you deserved for some people to be there for you in your darkest days, it doesn’t mean that this is the way it’s always going to happen.

And that’s okay. Pay attention to those who stuck by you even when you were not fun to be around because those are the people who truly care about you and those are the only ones who matter.

8. If the feeling is off, you’re allowed to say no

Dio solo sa quante volte sono stato spezzato dalle persone verso le quali nutrivo sentimenti negativi all'inizio. Ma, nonostante quello che provavo, ho dato loro il beneficio del dubbio e ho finito per prendere la pagliuzza più corta.

Whenever you don’t feel like welcoming someone into your life—don’t. You’re allowed to say no, regardless of what those people did for you, and regardless of how much they like or love you, if the feeling is off.

Anche se può non avere senso o se può risultare un po' egoista, dovete a voi stessi rendervi felici.

7. Rispettate sempre voi stessi per allontanarvi da chi vi fa solo del male.

For a long time, I had this habit of giving myself the most to those who were hurting me the most. I kept thinking if I gave them more love, they’d choose to hurt me less, but I was wrong. I only ended up getting even more hurt for not allontanarmi quando avrei dovuto.

Per quanto si possa amare, l'amore non è mai una scusa per rimanere in una relazione tossica. L'amore non dovrebbe mai essere una scusa per permettere a qualcuno di trattarvi male o di distruggere la vostra autostima.

Always respect yourself enough to walk away from those who are just hurting you. Don’t give your best to those who did nothing to deserve it.

6. Everything that happens to you in life will either teach you a lesson or destroy you—but the choice is always yours

La vita continuava a lanciarmi palle curve e io continuavo a inciampare. Tutto ciò che mi accadeva tagliava sempre il mio cuore come una lama affilatissima.

Every time I wasn’t loved or when I wasn’t treated the way I deserved, I despaired, even at the smallest inconvenience. Then I opened my eyes and realized I couldn’t continue walking through life afraid that something bad would happen or allowing everything to affect me.

When I learned to look beyond the pain I was going through, that’s when I started growing.

Everything that happens in your life happens for a reason. And everything that happens will affect you, but it’s up to you to choose whether you’ll use it wisely or let it break you.

Dovete essere abbastanza saggi da imparare quando lasciare andare certe cose e dovete capire che non tutte le persone che entrano nella vostra vita sono destinate a rimanere e che non tutto ciò che volete nella vita corrisponde a ciò di cui avete bisogno.

Dovete iniziare a trasformare ogni cosa che vi è capitata in una lezione e non in una battuta d'arresto.

5. If someone truly loves you, you’ll know

God knows how many times I stuck by someone, mistaking what they gave me for love. God knows how many sleepless nights I’ve had because I wasn’t sure if the person I was with loved me or not.

E Dio sa quante volte sono stata spezzata da qualcuno che pensavo mi amasse.

See, when someone loves you, you’ll know. There won’t be second-guessing, there won’t be nights when you can’t fall asleep because your mind is busy wondering if someone loves you or not, you won’t be confused or unsure.

When someone truly loves you, they’ll do everything in their power to make sure you’re aware of that. They’ll make sure you feel special and loved. That’s the only truth.

4. Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean you’re meant to be

I’ve held on to so many temporary people in my life that I forgot how those who are meant to stay look. I kept living with this illusion that all those who come into my life are meant to stay.

I kept thinking that all those I love will love me back. But this couldn’t be further from reality.

Sai, a volte la vita manda alcune persone sulla tua strada perché ti insegnino certain things and then you need to let them go. Don’t waste your days or all the other opportunities by holding on to relationships that aren’t meant to be.

Lasciate andare le cose temporanee e le persone temporanee, in modo che coloro che sono destinati a rimanere possano avere un posto libero.

3. Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean they’ll be good to you

I had this idea in my head that if I didn’t want to hurt someone, they also wouldn’t do anything that would hurt me. I thought if I loved someone, then they wouldn’t do anything that would harm me.

Little did I know that by loving people, I was giving them the ultimate weapon to hurt me—my heart.

Not all people you love will always love you back. Not all people you’re good to will be good to you back. Sometimes those you give yourself the most to will actually hurt you the most.

And sometimes no matter what you do, you can’t make some people love you. It’s because they are wrong and no love in this world that you give them will make them right.

2. Non ottenere ciò che si vuole a volte può essere la cosa migliore che ci capiti.

I can’t even recall how many times I was cursing destiny and the other higher forces for denying me the things I wanted.

Quante volte sono stata triste e quante volte ho pianto fino ad addormentarmi per non avere le persone che volevo nella mia vita o per non essere amata dalle persone che amavo, solo per avere la vita che mi ha mostrato che ogni volta che ho evitato una pallottola con loro e che non ottenere ciò che volevo era in realtà la cosa migliore che potesse capitarmi.

Sometimes you don’t think clearly and you wish for yourself the things that might be toxic to you. Oftentimes, things that you want aren’t exactly the things you need or are actually the things you should be running away from.

Know that each time you’re denied something you wanted it’s because something better is headed your way.

1. Just because you didn’t get what you deserved, it doesn’t mean it will never find its way to you

The most times I was wrong was when I wanted certain things or people and I wanted them there and then. But that’s not how life works, you know.

Whatever is destined to be, will be. Whatever is yours will find a way to you sooner or later. Desperately sharking toward it won’t change a thing.

So the best thing to do is to let things happen when they’re meant to happen. Don’t rush anything and don’t force anything, let alone love. When the time is right, you’ll get what you deserve.