Non lasciate che vi tratti come un'opzione

A prescindere da quanto significasse per voi o da quanto lo amaste, nessun amore potrà mai essere una scusa per permettere a un uomo trattarti come un'opzione. I’m sure of this because I, too, have learned it the hard way.

Come sempre inizia la storia, c'era un ragazzo che mi aveva notata. Abbiamo iniziato a passare del tempo insieme e mi sono innamorata di lui. Era dolce, affascinante e simpatico.

He was almost perfect and soon I had so many butterflies in my stomach that I thought I’d faint each time he looked at me.

Ma, it didn’t just occur to me that there was something happening between us nor did I just randomly decided to have feelings for him. He made me fall for him.

He was the one to tell me how much he was into me and how much he wanted to try to see how things would work out between us. He said that he wanted me and that’s all I got. I only got his words, with zero effort.

We were on and off and went round and round and I kept waiting for him to choose me. But he wasn’t gonna do that. I mean, why would he?

I’d already proved to him that I’d be waiting for him no matter whom else he spent his time with the most.

Gli ho permesso di trattarmi come un'opzione perché pensavo che fosse un dono di Dio e che avrei dovuto essere felice che fosse interessato a me.

Well, you know what? That was one huge pile of crap. He wasn’t special at all. It was me who made him so special. It was me who gave him all those divine traits, based only on the promises he gave me.

I know I should’ve known better, but I fell so hard for him that there was no possibility that I’d ever use my head to think about him.

It was always my heart that was making decisions. Turned out that my heart isn’t really the best organ to rely on.

Ero così ignaro delle cose che faceva. Ho dimenticato il mio valore e ho dimenticato completamente i miei valori. Ho lasciato che mi trattasse come un'opzione. Gli ho permesso di andare e venire a suo piacimento.

Ho aspettato con ansia un suo messaggio per giorni, per poi essere delusa da qualche stronzata che ha scritto solo per tenermi agganciata.

Then I decided I deserved more than someone’s crumbs. I decided I was worth being someone’s first option and if he wasn’t willing to put me at the top of his priority list then he didn’t deserve to be in my life at all.

Così ho smesso di permettergli di trattarmi come un'opzione. I actually decided I didn’t want him to treat me either way because I realized he was not the right one for me, no matter how much I wished he was.

Il fatto è che se un ragazzo ti vuole, non c'è bisogno che tu glielo chieda. lui a scegliere voi.

There is no need to beg for his attention because he’d give you all his time if he thought anything was serious with you.

I stopped answering his random messages, I stopped romanticizing his 3am calls when he was drunk and I gave up waiting for someone who wasn’t headed my way to begin with.

All that happened to me got me thinking and I couldn’t help but wonder: Quante sono le ragazze che permettono agli uomini di trattarle come un'opzione?

Quante ragazze lasciano che gli uomini le usino solo quando ne hanno bisogno? Quante ragazze lasciano che siano gli uomini a dettare il loro valore? Quante di loro scambiano gli scopatori per veri uomini?

Don’t ever let a man dictate your worth. If you do, you’ll end up waiting to be chosen by a man who has everyone else on his priority list above you. And it will be the worst feeling in this world.

Don’t ever let a man treat you like an option. If he doesn’t want to choose you, do yourself a favor and choose yourself. Choose to walk away.

Even if you don’t want to, even if you love him to the moon and back, even if you can’t picture your life without him, sometimes you’re obliged to be your own hero and understand that even though there are people you can’t live without, they’re perfectly capable of living without you.

If he lets you wonder if he likes you or not then he isn’t right one for you. L'uomo giusto non permetterebbe mai alla sua ragazza di mettere in dubbio il suo affetto., he’d be the one to make sure she felt like on the top of the world with him.

He wouldn’t just talk, he’d make sure that his words were followed by his actions.

So if he isn’t treating you right, if you’re not on his priority list, walk away.

It might be painful at first, but after some time, after you grow enough to be able to figure some things, you’ll see how walking away from someone who treats you like an option is the best thing you could do.

Asking him to choose you but staying even after he doesn’t would mean that you’re allowing him to do to you whatever he wants.

It would show him you’re weak and that he’s the one in charge of your life.

But walking away would show him your determination and would show him you’re not just a pretty face.

It would show him you’re a girl who’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

Allontanarsi significherebbe mettere se stessi in cima alla lista delle priorità quando qualcun altro non ha avuto la decenza di farlo.

So walk away from anyone who doesn’t see your worth. Because there will be someone who’ll thank you for freeing your path for him.

There will be someone worthy who’ll choose to see your worth but only if you move all the toxic people out of his way.

So walk away and never let anyone treat you like an option. You deserve to be someone’s priority.