Al ragazzo che ha rinunciato a me, grazie

Mi sono fatto credere che tutto il mio mondo gira intorno a te. Mi sono convinto che senza di te non ci sono io. Che senza di te non ero niente.

Ho creduto che tu fossi un eroe intrappolato in un essere umano. Ho creduto che tu potessi guarirmi. Pensavo che tu potessi far sparire il mio passato, that you can make everything that’s bad about me disappear.

I believed you’re my other half and that with finding you, I got everything I needed to get from this life.

I actually believed if I made you love me, if I could convince you I’m worthy, you’d never give up on me. And then I’d finally be capable of loving myself too.

Ma, Dio, mi sbagliavo di grosso.

You can’t convince somebody to love you, and most definitely, self-love has nothing to do with love other people give us.

When you left, you took my hopes with you. You’ve should fixed me, but you didn’t.

You should’ve made everything that’s bad in my life disappear, but instead, you were the one that disappeared.

Quando te ne sei andato, non avevo più un muro a cui appoggiarmi. Non avevo nulla per cui essere forte.

Mi sono sentita più spaventata di quando avevo te. Hai già aggiunto un'altra crepa in quel vetro rotto.

But what you don’t know is that by leaving me, you made me open my eyes. When you left, I was left alone.

Soon, I came to realize that the strong wall which you represented for me, on which I was constantly leaning, wasn’t actually something that was holding me from falling down.

Era qualcosa a cui ero incatenato e che mi rendeva incapace di muovermi. Fare affidamento su di te era qualcosa che mi bloccava.

Così, quando tu sei andato avanti, ho sfidato anche me stesso ad andare avanti. Quando hai rinunciato a me, ho deciso di lottare per me stessa.

I am pushing my limits to see what I’m made of. I’m learning that I’m more than fine the way I am and that I don’t need anybody to fix me. I’m learning that I need time to allow myself to heal and that’s it.

I’m learning to love myself. I’m learning to forgive my past, and I’m learning slowly to move forward.

 

 

I’m allowing myself to be single and to enjoy it. I’m allowing myself to make peace with who I am.

You giving up on me was the moment I decided to stop giving up on myself. It was the moment when I decided to fight for myself—the very moment when I decided I am worthy no matter what you or anybody else said or will say.

I survived the thing I thought would kill me. And therefore, if you ever think of reaching out again or saying you’re sorry, there is no need.

I’ve learned not to hold grudges and to convert each event in my past into a life lesson.

Ho anche imparato a non guardare indietro. Siete il capitolo del mio libro che ho già letto.

There is no need to go back or re-read it—I think I made the best of it.

Vedi anche: Grazie per non aver risposto al telefono quando ho chiamato