7 regole per messaggiare durante gli appuntamenti per rendere più facile la vostra vita sentimentale

Il modo in cui scrivete i messaggi e il modo in cui interpretate i suoi messaggi nelle fasi iniziali della frequentazione può fare o distruggere la vostra relazione.

It seems like the dating world of today is unimaginable without texting and it seems to me it’s a lot harder for us women than for men.

I think that’s because whether we like to admit it or not, men made the rules of texting in their mind and it’s no wonder we get lost in them.

‘When to text, when not to text?’ , ‘When is texting perceived as clingy and when as uninterested?’ , ‘Why hasn’t he texted back, it’s already been half a day since I texted him?’…. It’s exhausting and it’s taking up way too much of our time.

It’s time we make our own rules and stick to them. I believe we all have had enough of playing by male rules; to be more precise, we have had enough of games altogether.

Seguite queste 7 regole più importanti per mandare messaggi durante gli appuntamenti e vedrete come la vostra vita sentimentale diventerà migliore e più facile:

1. Always text ‘NO’ to his last-minute plans

Non ha senso lamentarsi con gli amici dei suoi messaggi notturni e dei suoi piani di uscita all'ultimo minuto.

That won’t change a thing if you meet with him anyway.

Se volete che pensi in anticipo e che si organizzi per un appuntamento, mostrategli la strada.

Every time he has a sudden desire to see you, tell him something along the lines of, “Sorry, I can’t right now, I am somewhere/have other plans.

Wish you had told me about it sooner.”

It’s a nice and polite way to tell him that you won’t be at his beck and call and that you want to be treated as a priority, not an option.

2. Gettare via tutte le teorie relative agli SMS e alle chiamate.

Most women would argue that if he only texts and never calls then he simply isn’t interested enough. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s time to look at texting from a male point of view: it’s easier and more efficient, they are usually better at expressing themselves in writing than through speech, alcuni sono timidi quindi più sicuri di sé mentre mandano un messaggio, alcuni ritengono che ci sia una minore possibilità di rovinare le cose attraverso i messaggi, ecc.

Tuttavia, when he doesn’t text back for days, you shouldn’t try to find excuses for such behavior. 

Also, one more major thing to consider here is whether you’ve been dating for a while or just had a few dates. You can’t expect a man you’ve been on three dates with to call you and talk to you for an hour, as he wouldn’t know where to begin or what to say.

3. Insert an, “I’ll call you later,” game changer

Se non vi piacciono gli SMS e preferite una normale telefonata o addirittura una videochiamata, introducete questo concetto in modo sottile nelle vostre conversazioni.

Ditegli che siete molto più bravi a parlare che a mandare messaggi.

Or when you sense that the moment is right, just text ‘Sorry I’m busy right now but I’ll call you later and tell you all about it’.

In questo modo, sarete voi a fare la prima mossa e vedrete se lui seguirà il vostro esempio.

It’s important you make some compromise here and meet each other halfway as it will be easier for other aspects of your relationship too.

4. Don’t send sexts if you want more than sex

Don’t give him any boyfriend benefits until he is actually your boyfriend. Don’t send sexts in the early phases of a relationship either.

You don’t have to be a prude but you can postpone sexting finché non diventa qualcuno che conoscete e di cui vi fidate.

If sexting begins too soon, he will assume that you are in it just for sex or that you are easy to get into bed and after he gets what he wants, he will be on his way. So, don’t rush it.

On the other hand, if he insists on sexting or sends you texts that are full of sexual implications, you will know exactly where you stand with him; he is not interested in your heart—just your body.

If that’s not something you are into, wave him goodbye and send him packing, as he is not worth your time.

5. Evitare di cadere nella trappola delle (errate) interpretazioni

What’s taking him so long to respond? What is the meaning of his ‘OK’ text, is he mad at me?  

Ieri abbiamo messaggiato per tutto il giorno, quindi oggi ha perso interesse o sta giocando?

Most women love to interpret texts and unread texts, I know I was one of them until the simple truth slapped me in the face: The male brain is completely opposite to the female brain; we don’t look at things the same way.

Try to relax and not give it too much thought. In the early stages of dating, you don’t need to be so strict as you are just getting to know each other.

He doesn’t have to set a schedule of when to text.

L'importante è che vediate che è interessato, che sta facendo del suo meglio per tenersi in contatto e conoscervi un po' meglio attraverso i messaggi e, soprattutto, che sta facendo progetti per vedervi di persona.

6. Non inviate mai un messaggio di follow-up o un over-text.

Ogni volta che vi viene l'impulso di inviare un messaggio di follow-up, resistete il più possibile.

Se avesse voluto rispondere lo avrebbe fatto, oppure potrebbe non aver visto il vostro messaggio e un follow-up darebbe l'impressione che siate bisognosi e disperati della sua attenzione.

If he isn’t sending a text back there is nothing you can do about it. Let him be. Not getting a text back is a strong message in itself.

Don’t make things worse on yourself by sending a follow-up text.

Don’t send him tons of texts either, as even if he responds to all of them it’s the quickest way to suffocate your potential relationship.

Be more concerned with quality and not quantity; it’s more about what you text about than texting all the time.

Sapere dove è stato tutto il giorno o cosa ha mangiato a colazione non ha praticamente alcun valore, ma un messaggio in cui dice di aver pensato a voi tutto il giorno è oro puro.

7. Lasciate che sia uomo e che prenda il comando di tanto in tanto.

Credo che molte di voi saranno d'accordo con me quando dico che le donne di oggi hanno bisogno di sentirsi più donne.

Vogliamo qualcuno che ci corteggi e ci faccia sentire speciali o, in altre parole, abbiamo bisogno di un uomo che ci mandi quel maledetto primo messaggio di tanto in tanto.

It doesn’t have to be a rule, it doesn’t have to be always but it would be great if men would initiate a conversation more times than a woman does.

This doesn’t mean developing tactics or playing games, it’s a simple fact that men lose interest in things they get served on a silver platter, so if you are the one texting all the time, there is no need for him to make any efforts.