Come ottenere un chiarimento quando il vostro ex si rifiuta di parlarvi

Alla fine di una storia, si pensa di meritare almeno una spiegazione sul perché le cose siano finite nel modo in cui sono finite.

And you ask yourself, “After all I gave him, did I deserve to go through the silent treatment? Why doesn’t he want to talk to me?” And then the more he doesn’t want to talk to you, the more you feel like you need closure.

It’s kind of natural for us umani per cercare una chiusura. It’s kind of normal for us to want to end one story and to be able to wrap our head around why some things ended the way they did.

We just need to know why something happens, but the problem comes when this one person who is able to give you an explanation doesn’t actually want to talk to you.

So, what do you do when your ex won’t talk to you?

When your ex doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s time for you to start realizing certain things.

Firstly, you’re going after someone who thinks you don’t deserve a simple explanation.

You’re going after someone who wants you to be the last one to let go so that he could be able to say he was the one who cared less. Obviously, that’s something he’s proud of.

Secondly, you’ll be clinging to your past if you continue to seek closure from a person who actually isn’t willing to give you any.

You’ll appear as a crazy girl who’s desperately wanting to hear from her ex-boyfriend. You’ll appear as a girl who comes up with all kinds of excuses just to talk to her ex.

You’ll obsess over whether he’s just pretending to be over you.

Infine, bisogna smettere di cercare la chiusura nei posti sbagliati. La vostra pace è più importante del bisogno di sentire cosa è andato storto da qualcuno che vi ha abbandonato.

Da qualcuno che non ha avuto la decenza di lottare e di impegnarsi a sufficienza per quest'unica persona che lo amava davvero.

Remember, you’re the only one who needs closure. So if you’re the only one who needs it, then you’re only who can give you it.

What I’m trying to say is that you’ll need to be the one to close the doors on a failed relationship. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but because the doors otherwise simply lead nowhere.

Even if you deserve an explanation, this doesn’t mean you’re actually going to get one. The worst thing you can do is let the unfinished stories of the past stop you from living your life.

La cosa peggiore che possiate fare è lasciare che il passato interferisca con il vostro futuro.

La miglior vendetta è andare avanti, superarla e continuare ad avere successo. Non date mai a qualcuno la soddisfazione di vedervi soffrire.

Looking for closure from a person who doesn’t want to talk to you is a joke. The only apology you need is the one you owe yourself for staying as long as you did.

L'unica conversazione che dovete fare è con voi stessi e l'unica persona che dovete rivedere è quella nello specchio.

No one likes to be ignored, and no one likes to not get answers to their questions. But what you have to learn is that any answer you are so desperate to get won’t change anything, and it may or may not be the truth anyway.

La verità è che se non ci si lascia andare, se non si perdonare se stessiSe non perdonate la situazione e se non vi rendete conto che la situazione è finita, non potete andare avanti.

1. Riconoscere che si è fatto tutto il possibile

What’s done is done. If your ex doesn’t want to talk to you, then stop chasing after him. Stop wanting him to do anything. Remember that you did all you could but even that wasn’t enough.

Alla fine della giornata, ricordate ciò che vi meritate e che di solito le cose che finiscono non sono mai state destinate a finire.

Correlato: 98 Le migliori ultime parole da dire a un ex (indipendentemente dalla situazione)

2. Pensate a ciò che vi meritate

Always know that you deserve much more than a man who doesn’t pick up the phone when you call.

You deserve a man who’ll respect your feelings even when your story comes to an end.

You don’t deserve someone who’ll you’ll need to chase so if he isn’t ready to give you what you need, let him go.

Trovate ciò che vi serve altrove, trovate la vostra chiusura in voi stessi.

3. Dimenticare la sua convalida

You don’t need him to give you closure so that you’d be able to validate your relationship.

What happened was real, you should be able to realize this at least based on the pain you’re feeling now.

Quello che è successo è scritto sul tuo cuore e nessuna ultima parola di un uomo potrà cambiarlo.

Correlato: Come vendicarsi del proprio ex: 12 modi comprovati per farlo

4. Pensate al tipo di persona con cui volete stare.

When you think about it, you’ll see that the person you want to be with has a completely different personality to the one you’ve been with. And this should help you to get your closure.

Because you’ll see that not only will you not be wanting a new start with the person who already hurt you once, but that you should be the one cutting all the strings.

5. Perdonare se stessi e perdonare lui

La parte più difficile è perdonarlo for all the pain you’ve been through. But sometimes that’s the only thing that will help you move on.

Forgive him for treating you the way he did. Forgive yourself for how long you’ve been holding onto something that was just breaking you. But don’t ever forget.

Keep what you’ve been through at the back of your mind so you have something to remind you about the hell you’ve been through once he reaches out to you again.

E come sapere se davvero cercherà di tornare nella vostra vita? Beh, perché lo fanno sempre.

Correlato: Gli manco ora che l'ho lasciato solo?