Come capire quando rompere: 20 segnali che dovrebbero far finire la vostra relazione

La vostra relazione sta attraversando un periodo difficile o è arrivato il momento di rompere?

How to know when it’s time to break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend and when there is no point in trying anymore?

Queste sono le domande che tutti noi abbiamo avuto in mente a un certo punto della nostra vita.

And if the question “How to know when to break up?” is something that’s been bothering you lately, you have come to the right place because you’re about to read 20 sure-fire signs that you should put a stop to your romance, without any further ado.

20 Bad Signs That It’s Time To End Your Relationship

1. Non vedete un futuro insieme

One of the first bad signs that you ought to end your relationship is the fact that it isn’t going anywhere, as much as you hate to admit it.

You and your partner can’t seem to agree about your life goals and this is not someone you see yourself growing old next to.

This is especially the case if, for example, you want to start a family and have kids while they wouldn’t mind dating for a couple more years and can’t make you any promises regarding your future together.

You’ll have to agree that these are some serious rompiscatoles you won’t be able to surpass.

I’m not saying that every relationship has to last a lifetime but what’s the point of being with someone you know you won’t end up with?

Le cose potrebbero andare benissimo in questo momento, ma se sapete che la vostra fine è inevitabile, perché perdere altro tempo in una relazione destinata a fallire?

Instead, end everything in time because you’ll have to do it sooner or later.

2. Pensate alle altre persone

Come capire quando è il momento di lasciarsi? Una delle risposte è: quando si inizia a pensare ad altre persone.

There is absolutely nothing wrong if you see a girl or a guy you find objectively attractive even though you’re in a happy relationship.

After all, you’re not blind and you can’t help but notice when someone is good-looking.

Tuttavia, quando si ama veramente il proprio partner, non si farebbe mai una mossa con lui.

You may see the most beautiful woman or the most handsome man but you will forget all about them as soon as they’re gone from your sight.

Nevertheless, this is not what’s happening with you. In fact, you keep thinking about other people in a romantic way.

You continuously picture yourself next to someone who is not your partner and you can’t help but imagine how your life would look next to another person.

Not only that—there is probably someone specific you can’t get out of your mind.

If this is something you can relate to, your relationship is already over; you’re just still unaware of that fact.

Even though you haven’t done anything just yet and you haven’t physically cheated on your significant other, having someone else in your thoughts is a reason enough to break up with them.

3. You aren’t making any progress

A relazione sana dovrebbe farvi progredire e dovrebbe essere utile per il vostro benessere come persona.

Dovrebbe spingervi ad andare avanti e ispirarvi a diventare la migliore versione possibile di voi stessi.

However, you feel like you can’t move an inch next to your partner. You feel like they’re holding you back and as if your romance leaves you no room for progress.

The same is happening with your entire relationship; it isn’t going anywhere and you are both stuck in exactly the same places you were when you just started dating and there has been no improvement whatsoever.

Nothing is going on and you haven’t evolved as a couple.

It is one thing if we’re talking about a relationship that lasts only a few months because in that case, you should give it a little more time to see whether you and your partner will start moving forward.

On the other hand, if you feel trapped in a long term relationship that hasn’t moved forward in years, it is a good sign that nothing will change in the future either.

4. Volete cose diverse

Tra gli altri fattori, perché la relazione abbia successo, è fondamentale essere compatibili con la propria metà.

You two don’t have to literally be the same people but you should definitely have similar desires, ambitions and goals.

After all, this is someone you’re planning your life next to and you can expect a lot of fighting in the future unless you two have similar worldviews on the important things in life.

When you and your boyfriend want completely opposite things and have different attitudes in life but can’t seem to find a middle ground, some serious problems will arise sooner or later.

In questo scenario, a volte è meglio chiudere le cose in tempo prima che sia troppo tardi. La dura realtà è che nessuno dei due cambierà (né dovreste farlo) ed è impossibile vivere accanto a una persona che ha poco in comune con voi.

Opposites do attract—that is why you and your significant other started your relationship but they rarely last and that is why you two can’t manage to make your lavoro di relazione ora.

5. You’ve stopped having sex

Non importa quanto sia bollente la vostra azione sotto le lenzuola, non è mai abbastanza per il successo della vostra relazione.

D'altra parte, ironia della sorte, un cattivo vita sessuale (or when you can’t remember the last time you had sex) is more than a good reason for it to go downhill and eventually break down completely.

And that is exactly what’s been going on with you and your partner lately.

Somehow, you two stopped having sex and even when you do sleep together, there is absolutely no passion involved and you feel like you’re performing a task that needs to be done.

Naturalmente, in questo scenario, dovreste provare a parlare con la vostra metà prima di fare qualsiasi mossa.

Forse state solo attraversando una fase negativa o potreste migliorare le cose con un po' di fantasia.

Nevertheless, if the situation continues in this manner after you’ve tried everything, it is more than clear that your chemistry is long gone.

They don’t find you attractive anymore (or vice versa) and this lack of sex will bring problems to other parts of your relationship sooner or later.

6. Si combatte sempre

Che piaccia o meno ammetterlo, tutte le coppie litigano di tanto in tanto.

Tuttavia, se voi e il vostro partner litigate per ogni minima cosa e se tutta la vostra comunicazione si basa su qualche tipo di litigio, è un buon segno che qualcosa non va nella vostra relazione.

Another red flag that the question “How to know when to break up?” is appearing in your head with a reason is the fact that your arguments are not productive.

Litigate senza un motivo specifico, solo per liberarvi dell'energia negativa accumulata l'uno verso l'altro.

Inoltre, vi insultate e umiliate a vicenda ogni volta che avete un disaccordo.

It is like you’re incapable of having a healthy discussion where your opinions oppose without turning it into a bigger issue.

The problem is also that you repeat your arguments. You don’t learn from them and you never once resolve them.

So, why do you keep staying in this kind of unhealthy environment? Why do you keep ruining your mental health by remaining next to someone you clearly can’t get along with?

7. You can’t forgive something from the past

Secondo gli esperti di appuntamenti, la maggior parte delle coppie si lascia per qualcosa che si pensava di aver dimenticato da tempo.

Sometimes, you think you forgave and forgot about your significant other’s infidelity, lying or abuse and you continue living with them for a certain period of time as if everything is behind you and in perfect order.

Poi, dopo qualche anno, dal nulla, i traumi del passato cominciano a perseguitarci.

Vi accorgete che in realtà state ancora serbando rancore e che il risentimento vi sta mangiando vivi.

Mi dispiace dirtelo, ma non hai mai perdonato o dimenticato le cose che hai vissuto.

E probabilmente non lo farà mai. Pertanto, l'unica possibilità che avete è quella di andarvene.

Sapete che avete fatto del vostro meglio per superare questo problema e per avere un cuore aperto, ma il vostro risentimento è semplicemente più forte della vostra ragione e non potete farci nulla.

8. You feel like you’re alone in the relationship

Non è possibile fissare un relazione unilaterale. You’re the only one trying, so what’s the point of investing more of yourself in a relationship you’re only interested in building?

I’m not saying that you and your partner have put exactly the same amount of effort into your romance.

There will be days when you’ll be giving your entire self, while they won’t try at all and vice versa. Nobody can measure or weigh the effort you’re both putting in.

However, if you feel like you’re alone in this relationship, why don’t you change your status and become officially single?

9. You’re only together because of your history

Molte coppie si attaccano l'una all'altra a causa del loro passato comune.

This is especially the case when you’re still involved with your high school or college sweetheart; you two have been together for a lot of time, you’re part of each other’s families, you have a lot of mutual friends and you’ve grown up together.

Con il tempo, questa persona è diventata la vostra zona di comfort. Sapete cosa aspettarvi da lui in ogni momento e rappresenta la familiarità e la sicurezza.

Even though this is all nice, it shouldn’t be the only reason you stay next to someone.

If you feel like you’ve superato questa persona and like your history together is the only thing that connects you, maybe it’s time to part ways.

Please, don’t feel guilty for choosing your future and present over your past. Don’t let your memories hold you back and prevent you from moving on with your life.

10. You stay because you don’t want to hurt your partner

A common reason why people stay in a relationship that doesn’t make them happy is guilt.

You have no doubt that you want out but you know that your decision would break your partner’s heart.

So you stay right where you are because you don’t want to destroy them emotionally or hurt their feelings.

Well, let me tell you that this is one of the worst things you can do. First and foremost, by doing this, you’re torturing yourself.

No matter how much you owe this person, you don’t have the duty to be in this relationship if that is not something you want.

Secondly, you’re hurting your partner even more by staying next to them, despite your desire to leave.

How do you think they would feel if they ever found out that you wanted to break up with them but didn’t have the courage to do so?

Dopo tutto, vorreste che la persona amata stesse con voi per pietà? O preferireste che vi lasciasse?

11. Cominciano a irritarvi

Quando si ama qualcuno, tutto ciò che fa è carino. Ma quando si smette di amarla, ogni piccola cosa che la riguarda inizia a infastidirci.

This is exactly what’s going on with your relationship; it seems that you’re even bothered by the way your significant other inhales and exhales air.

You’re irritated by the way they talk, eat and behave in every possible situation.

Most of all—you’re annoyed by their presence and touch. You can’t stand this person hugging or kissing you, nor can you put up with them sleeping next to you anymore.

Sounds familiar, right? Well, it is a clear sign that it’s time to consider a breakup.

Yes, there is a possibility of this being just a phase. Maybe you’re easily agitated in general and involuntarily direct all of your negative energy toward the person you love the most.

On the other hand, if you can’t get rid of this feeling after some time has passed, it is a clear sign that it’s time to consider breaking up.

12. Vi aspettate che cambino

Have you ever gotten yourself into a relationship with a person whose personality traits and habits you don’t like?

Have you ever fallen in love with someone’s potential instead of their true self? From day one, you expected them to change.

Speravi che il tuo amore li avrebbe ispirati a diventare diversi e migliori e a rendersi finalmente conto dei loro errori. Tuttavia, questo cambiamento non è mai arrivato.

You’re both the same people you were at the beginning of your relationship and the truth is that those people are not compatible and can’t function together.

Don’t feel bad about this situation because it is one of the common reasons people part ways.

Instead, get to terms with the fact that your significant other will never change for real (because they don’t want to do so in the first place) and if you can’t accept their true personality, stop trying to modify them and end things in a healthy way.

13. Tutti intorno a voi sono favorevoli a una rottura

You’re a mature adult who doesn’t need anyone else’s guidance through life.

You don’t need people telling you what to do or who to date. Despite all of this, you know very well that your best friends and family members wish you all the best.

E la verità è che in molti casi possono vedere la vostra relazione sentimentale in modo più chiaro e obiettivo.

Dopo tutto, le loro emozioni non sono investite nella vostra relazione e notano le bandiere rosse prima di voi.

Pertanto, se le persone più care continuano a consigliarvi di prendere un nuova relazione and end this one, maybe they’re right.

Of course, this shouldn’t be the only reason for you to break things off. However, if you’re in doubt and aren’t sure whether there are enough warning signs that you should walk away, take their opinions into consideration.

14. Non avete comunicazione

You can’t have a good relationship without healthy communication. You and your partner shouldn’t be just lovers—you should be best friends as well.

Dovrebbe essere la prima persona a cui raccontare tutto, il vostro confidente e consigliere.

Qualcuno che sai che ti dirà sempre la verità, anche se dura, ma che allo stesso tempo non ti giudicherà mai.

Sadly, you and your partner stopped communicating in the healthiest ways. All you do is argue, you don’t share secrets anymore and you would rather talk to anyone besides them.

Anzi, a volte sembra che abbiate smesso di parlare completamente. Sì, parlate di cose quotidiane e poco importanti, ma non c'è traccia delle conversazioni significative e profonde che facevate prima.

Il silenzio che vi circonda è tutt'altro che piacevole o confortante; è imbarazzante e pieno di tensione.

15. La fiducia è venuta meno

Another warning sign that it’s time to end your relationship is the lack of trust you’re dealing with.

È probabile che sia successo qualcosa che vi ha fatto smettere di fidarvi dell'altro o viceversa, ma la verità è che la vostra relazione attuale non si avvicina neanche lontanamente alla storia d'amore che avevate in passato.

You see, your partner should be someone who would never betray you, the person you know you can always rely on and someone you know wouldn’t abandon you just because you’re going through some rough patch.

Tuttavia, ultimamente non vi sentite così. Al contrario, sprecate un sacco di tempo ed energie per controllarli.

You can’t get yourself to believe a word this person tells you and as much as you try, you don’t consider them to be trustworthy.

16. You’re in a relationship out of fear of being alone

Let’s face it—you would ditch your current relationship if it weren’t for one thing—your fear of being alone.

You can’t stand your single life and you feel lonely and deserted when you’re not a part of a couple and that is the only reason why you haven’t gotten out of this romance.

Se questo è il caso, è un segnale di avvertimento che la rottura è la cosa migliore da fare in questo momento.

Ricordate che essere single in a healthy way beats being in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy anytime.

After all, there is nothing wrong with not having a romantic partner and it doesn’t mean that you’re alone in this world.

Avete ancora il vostro lavoro, i vostri amici, la vostra famiglia e, soprattutto, avete ancora voi stessi.

Despite what you might think, you don’t need someone to complete you or to give your life meaning. Trust me—you’ll be perfectly fine on your own.

17. Continuate a lasciarvi e a tornare insieme

A prima vista, le relazioni on e off sembrano eccitanti e appassionanti.

When you keep on breaking up and getting back together with someone, you see it as a clear sign that you two can’t live without each other and that you’re destinati a finire insieme.

Well, it’s time to take off your rose-tinted glasses and see this practice as a red flag that this is not the person for you.

I don’t care who is responsible for these behavior patterns—la vostra relazione è tossica e sta rovinando la vostra salute mentale ed emotiva.

What exactly don’t you understand? If you and your partner could function together and if you had the ability to build a good relationship, you wouldn’t have been parting way every few weeks or months.

It is more than obvious that things aren’t working, never did and, sadly, never will.

Break this relationship off once for all and give yourself space to find a new relationship that won’t bring along all of this drama.

18. Ci sono più contro che pro

L'amore non è un accordo commerciale. Tuttavia, ci sono momenti in cui bisogna seguire la ragione e non solo il cuore.

Ci sono momenti in cui non si ha altra scelta che soppesare le cose e decidere quale sia la mossa giusta.

And that is exactly what you did—you asked yourself how to know when to rotturaAvete scritto su un foglio di carta tutti i vantaggi e gli svantaggi della vostra relazione.

Avete elencato tutti i momenti felici e quelli tristi e siete giunti alla conclusione che ci sono molti più contro che pro.

So, what more evidence do you need? Aren’t all those dealbreakers reason enough to leave your partner and to stop torturing yourself and ruining your emotional health?

19. You aren’t happy

Your romantic relationship should make you happy—there is no arguing with that.

Of course, it shouldn’t be the only source of your happiness but it should bring joy and satisfaction to your life.

That’s the entire point of having a partner, right? To make your life a little bit better because you can be perfectly unhappy on your own.

I’m not saying that there should be rainbows and unicorns all the time and that healthy relationships don’t have situations in which both of the people involved are sad or feel bad but if your relationship is making you miserable most of the time, it is not the real deal.

Smettete di sprecare il vostro tempo con una persona e una relazione che vi fanno sentire nervosi, negativi, pessimisti o che vi fanno sentire in colpa. insoddisfatti della propria vita sentimentale.

20. You don’t love each other anymore

Anche se l'amore non è sufficiente a far funzionare una relazione, è una delle condizioni più importanti per una storia d'amore di successo.

You can have the best relationship ever on paper but if you and your partner stopped loving each other (or if one of you doesn’t have any emotions left), I’m sorry but there is probably nothing you can do.

It doesn’t matter who ha smesso di amare whom; either way, don’t settle for being in a loveless relationship. Instead, pick yourself back up, walk away and focus on healing your broken heart.