Se fa queste 8 cose è un abusatore verbale travestito da vero uomo
It can start out as a joke. It can become more frequent over time, but one thing is sure: when you meet that kind of a man, you’ll have no idea who he really is. You’ll have no idea that he presents himself as someone completely different.
Come all'inizio di ogni relazione abusiva, you’ll think that you’ve finally found the one. You’ll think that finally you’ll feel safe and loved. That’s what they do to you. That’s how they sneak up on you.
They pretend to be loving and compassionate to make you trust them, to make you let go and fall into their ‘safe’ arms. After they’ve grabbed you like a predator, they can do whatever they want with you.
There are all kinds of abuse in relationships, and I’ve written about each and every one. They are each painful and excruciating, especially the emotional ones. But there was never actual talk about verbal abuse.
Verbal abuse doesn’t get noticed that much because pretty much like narcissism and other personality disorders, it doesn’t leave any proof on the victim.
There are no bruises; there are no scars. You can walk out of the house seconds after you’ve been verbally or any kind of emotionally abused. You can put on a smile, and no one will have any idea what you’ve just gone through.
No one will have a clue that you’re barely keeping yourself together. No one sees the sadness behind your eyes and the emotional fatigue that has overwhelmed you entirely.
Perché ti maltratta verbalmente?
You’ve probably blamed yourself hundreds of times, and you thought you had it coming because you provoked him. That’s BS, and deep inside you know it. You were just scared to accept the fact che il vostro bravo ragazzo, il vostro vero uomo si è rivelato un abusatore.
Gli abusanti hanno dei sentimenti, che ci crediate o no, ma l'unico modo che conoscono per mostrarli è attraverso la rabbia e la delusione. Di solito, dentro di sé sono probabilmente feriti o tristi per qualche motivo, e sfogare la rabbia sulla persona più vicina è l'unico modo che conoscono per affrontare i propri problemi. insicurezze.
Quindi, farvi sentire meno degni e più piccoli di lui lo fa sentire meglio. Ha bisogno di minare qualcun altro per sentirsi migliore e più potente.
He needs to have control over you because he doesn’t have control over anything else.
Usa l'abuso verbale per farti sentire un pezzo di merda, per distruggere la tua autostima e, in questo modo, trasformarti in una persona che pensa di essere incapace di prendere decisioni da sola, una persona facile da controllare.
È un processo che richiede tempo per essere realizzato. Questo era il suo piano fin dall'inizio. Fin dal primo giorno in cui vi ha incontrati, voleva insinuarsi lentamente nella vostra vita, in modo da mettersi a proprio agio e al sicuro per prosciugare la vostra energia.
Ecco come ha fatto. Ecco come si è trasformato da un vero uomo in un abusatore.
1. Vi ha fatto pensare bene prima di parlare
You just knew that if you said something wrong, something that he might not like, he’d lose it. You knew he’d over-react, and you knew what that meant for you.
It meant you’re getting your portion of insults and verbal abuse. So, when you were around him, you thought hard what to say and what to keep to yourself.
Actually, it all depended on how he was feeling that day. If you saw that he was in a good mood, you’d probably find a way to tell him something as painless as possible, but if he was agitated and grumpy, you’d definitely keep it to yourself.
2. Ti ha chiamato per nome
This is self-explanatory. In short, no one has the right to call you names—not your family, not your friends and not your boyfriend. No matter how mad he is and no matter how screwed up his day was, he has to deal with that himself.
Even if you provoke him with something you’ve said or done, he can’t react by calling you stupid, a slut or God knows what you’ve heard so far.
3. Non è mai stato d'accordo con voi.
If you were feeling positive and happy, if you were excited about something and you wanted to share your happiness with him, he disagreed with you instantly. It means he didn’t respect you enough to let you be happy.
Maybe he was jealous that you were feeling great when he didn’t and since he didn’t love you, he tried to hurt you by putting you back down to earth and destroying your happiness.
4. Ti ha messo a tacere
He didn’t value your opinion, and it didn’t interest him. He didn’t want to hear anything that you had to say, and if you said it anyway, he’d laugh and made fun of you because he obviously thought you were stupid.
He was always telling you that you’re wrong, and he is always right; he knows everything and you don’t have a clue.
And if you got offended by that, then he’d call you too sensitive and immaturo.
5. Ha distorto le tue parole
When you had enough and you couldn’t take his abuse anymore, you tried to confront him by calling him an abuser. Then he lost his temper and went crazy. Then he would take it all out on you because deep inside, he knew it was true, and the truth usually hurts.
This turned out to be a huge fight which ended up with you being the bad guy. It stopped being about him being an abuser and turned to revolve around something you’d said or done months ago.
He carefully remembered your words because his memory is impeccable that way. He’d remember exactly what happened in the past, and he’d use it against you in these situations. He took your words out of context and twisted them to work in his favor.
6. È diventato accondiscendente
He acted like you are a baby, and you don’t understand anything. He talked down to you and disrespected you in that way.
He did this to make himself better than you and make you feel like you’re inferior to him. He’d intentionally use a condescending tone and chose words that were meant to hurt you just to boost up his ego and destroy yours.
7. Ha fatto emergere le vostre insicurezze
When he didn’t have anything else left, he’d pull the oldest trick in the book. When all other tactics would fail, he’d play this dirty card. He’d try to use you against you. He tried to play with your mind to force you into hating yourself.
He intentionally brought out the things you’re most sensitive about, and he used them against you. This was done to make you feel useless and ugly, to make you wonder what is your purpose in this life and why you are even alive.
8. Ha giustificato il suo cattivo comportamento
He lived in complete denial. He didn’t want to admit that he is nothing more than a piece of shit; a leech that is unhappy and frustrated; someone who sucks other people’s energies dry to feed himself.
When he succeeded, it would hold him for a while. He’d forget how unhappy he really is, and he’d enjoy the energy he took from you. When it ran out, he’d come back and do the same thing all over again.
No, this is not a real man. This is an abuser who pretended to be something you’d been looking for.
