uomo e donna seduti in riva al mare vicino al fuoco di ossa

7 cose che dimostrano che vi sta tenendo in disparte

È solo un incapace nelle relazioni o è un giocatore?

Figuring out if he’s saving you as one of his options and wasting your time can be tricky. What if he’s just keeping you on the back burner?

For those who’ve never even heard of such a kind of relationship, this is what it is: 

Una relazione in secondo piano è una relazione in cui lui vi dà l'impressione che le cose stiano per diventare serie, quando in realtà ha altre opzioni che vuole prima esplorare.

He’s interested in hooking up with you, but he’s not sure he’ll ever want anything more. Still, he wants to keep you as an option. 

Leggete questi 7 segnali che indicano che avete una relazione in secondo piano.

È lui che fa tutte le scelte e le decisioni

uomo e donna seduti sull'erba a parlare

Tutto nella vostra relazione avviene alle sue condizioni. I vostri desideri, piani e abitudini non vengono mai presi in considerazione.

He only cares about getting what he wants from you and he can even be very open about it. If you try to make things go your way, he’ll tell you you’re being needy or pushy.

You’ve probably noticed that he’s egoista nel modo in cui vi tratta.

He’s not there to make you feel happy, loved, or taken care of. You’re one of his options and he treats you like you don’t really matter that much because to him, you don’t.

If you’re out of the picture he still has others to choose from.

Ti chiama all'ultimo minuto

donna con maglione rosso che parla al telefono all'aperto

Even though he usually doesn’t invite you to go to important events with him, he might call you at 9 to get ready for a party at 10 because his other option blew him off.

If he often calls you or texts you last minute to hang out that means he never thinks of you first. He goes through his other, better options and you’re definitely not his priority.

He might get offended, annoyed, or mad if you refuse to go with him, but that’s just because he’s tired of going through his list, not because he cares that much about seeing you.

Lo si vede raramente nei fine settimana

donna in top verde seduta vicino al muro in interni

Everybody has some fun plans for the weekend and he does too. The thing is, you’re never a part of those plans.

He makes arrangements to hang out with his first interest(s) or even his real girlfriend. The only way he’ll call you on the weekend is if the scenario from the previous point happens.

If you truly were his only interest, or at least his priority interest, wouldn’t he choose to spend time with you on the weekends?

Impiega molto tempo per rispondere ai messaggi

donna triste che tiene il telefono mentre è seduta all'aperto

He doesn’t really care that you texted him. There’s nothing in that message you sent that he cares about.

He texts you when he’s bored or lonely and only when he needs you – he doesn’t really bother to respond to your needs. He’s not happy to even talk to you if it’s not convenient for him.

Tutto questo può essere argutamente mascherato con la storia che lui è super impegnato al lavoro, che sta facendo qualcosa di importante o che non sente il telefono.

If it only happened once or twice, he might be being honest, but if this is something that happens often, he’s definitely keeping you on the back burner.

Non fa mai dei veri piani con te

uomo e donna seduti su una recinzione di cemento

You can’t really say you’ve ever agreed on meeting or doing something a week or even a couple of days ahead.

Everything seems to always be so spontaneous, but it’s actually last minute.

Of course he can’t commit to making plans with you. He has to check if anything more important is happening first, and then, if he’s bored or has no one else to turn to, he’ll make quick plans with you.

He says he’ll call but he doesn’t

donna con giacca di pelle nera seduta vicino al canale cittadino

He told you he’d call you but he didn’t. He does this all the time. If he was committed to you, you would be at the front of his mind at almost all times.

Forgetting to call you, and simply not even caring, definitely means he doesn’t care about you or your feelings.

Once his needs are satisfied, he no longer thinks of you. He might think of a charming excuse for his behavior but he doesn’t even care if you get mad, that’s why he gets to be so casual and carefree.

Despite all this, he comes to you whenever he’s lonely/sad/bored

uomo con berretto e donna seduti a terra vicino all'acqua

Even though, at moments, it seems obvious to you that you’re not his top priority, he still comes to you. Why does he do that?

Ogni volta che ha bisogno di sentirsi confortato, intrattenuto o semplicemente ha bisogno di compagnia, si rivolge a voi.

La risposta è proprio lì. 

You’re there for him when no one else is and he can’t just let that go. He doesn’t really care about you, but he likes the way you make him feel and isn’t willing to lose that.

We hope we’ve given you what it takes to decide if your guy is keeping you on the back burner or simply needs to work on his relationship skills. 

Proteggere se stessi e don’t let anyone treat you like you’re only an option quando sapete di meritare di essere una priorità.

7 cose che dimostrano che vi sta tenendo in disparte

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