Tornerà se lo lascio solo? 20 modi per avere successo

Quando si chiude una relazione seria, non si può smettere di pensare al proprio ex ragazzo da un giorno all'altro.

He’s your best friend and this is a huge loss for you. Healing doesn’t just happen overnight.

It’s more difficult if you were engaged or in a relazione a lungo termine con lui e ora tutto ciò che vedi ti ricorda lui.

Il primo posto in cui siete andati dopo la rottura suonava una canzone che lui adorava, ed è stata la prima volta che l'avete sentita e volevate davvero piangere.

He’s the last thing you think of when you go to bed and the first thing when you wake up.

You’re trying to figure out what went wrong and you can’t function properly. You keep re-reading your text messages and reminiscing about last week when everything was still perfect in your amore vita.

If you believe that the two of you deserve another chance but don’t know what you could do to make him stay this time around – CLICCA QUI e risolvere tutti i vostri problemi.

No matter how much you try, you can’t eat and you spend a lot of time with cramps in your stomach that don’t let you relax.

You’re sad because you gave yourself all in to the man who decided to end your relationship and leave you like he was leaving nothing.

Si finisce per dubitare della propria autostima, del proprio buon senso e di tutte quelle cose che si pensava di fare bene.

You’ve already experienced heartbreak before him and you’re not ready to go through all of this a second time.

You’re obsessed with a man who was your whole world, but now he’s decided to leave you and move on. 

If you’re determined to have him back, La Guida al Fattore Ex is the only thing you’ll need.

There are so many emotions inside you and you don’t know what to do with them.

Dovreste anche solo prendere in considerazione l'idea di dargli un seconda possibilità o sarebbe la cosa più lontana da una relazione sana?

You’re struggling every day to stop thinking about him, but you simply can’t.

He was the one you talked to about all your work things , he was the only one you were texting on a daily basis, and you can’t imagine entering a new relationship now. And the thought of him with a new girlfriend makes your gut churn.

L'anno scorso parlavate di andare a vivere insieme e di prendere un cane, e ora tutto il vostro mondo sta crollando.

Siete passati da telefonate quotidiane su tutto e per tutto con l'amore della vostra vita a una vita da single per la quale non avete firmato.

Even if the two of you fought, you still want him to be a part of your life because you don’t want to rinunciare su una cosa così seria.

After all, people go through an on-and- off relationship all the time – why couldn’t this just be a minor setback?

Knowing that you still love him, you’re trying to figure out solutions to riportarlo indietro. So you’re now asking yourself if he’ll come back to you if you leave him alone. Is it really worth a shot?

You think that there’s a chance he will miss you once he doesn’t see or hear from you for a long time.

And you know what? You’re probably right. The smartest thing is to trust your gut feeling .

There isn’t a worse thing in this world than defying yourself and spending the rest of your life wondering what could have been, but never was.

If he truly loves you, he’ll realize what kind of a woman you are and start missing you soon.

Soprattutto se eri così vicina a chiamarlo fidanzato! È una cosa troppo preziosa per rinunciarvi così.

He’ll see that he can’t live without you and that your fight wasn’t worth this horrible breakup .

Potrebbe essere l'occasione perfetta per raccontarsi i propri problemi e le proprie insicurezze, e per andare avanti and be stronger than you’ve ever been.

Quindi, potrebbe essere solo una questione di tempo prima che torni a strisciare da voi, implorandovi di perdonarlo, ma dovete anche giocare questo gioco in modo intelligente.

Siate pazienti e riflettete bene se volete che funzioni davvero.

To help you further with this issue, here are some proven ways that can make an ex come back , once you leave him alone. So, let’s start!

1. Periodo di non contatto

Questa è una delle cose più importanti quando volete che il vostro ex senta la vostra mancanza e torni da voi.

Dovete sapere che il regola del divieto di contatto is not about your ex but about you, so you’re the one who has to stop obsessing about him.

Ci sono tante cose su cui potete concentrarvi e, in questo modo, smettere di pensare a lui.

I know that you’ll miss him and that many men will remind you of him, but you’re strong enough to overcome that feeling.

Sappiate che il vostro sacrificio attuale è per cose più grandi che accadranno in futuro.

If you’re able to not contact him for the next week at all, than slowly move up to 30 days – you’ll also manage to not do that in the next 30, trust me.

And after all that time spent without him, you won’t need him as you need the air in your lungs.

You’ll just wait for him to contact you in case he wants the two of you to start over. This way, he’ll start realizing that you are perfectly fine without him.

He’ll wonder how come you haven’t called, texted, or even asked about him through mutual friends.

You literally just vanished without a trace and, believe me when I say, it’ll bug him.

That will start eating away at him and with time he will get the urge to contact YOU just to see how you are and how you’re dealing with this breakup.

E questa sarà la vostra occasione per avere una conversazione matura, iniziata da lui, e vedere se è possibile trovare una soluzione.

2. You can’t be “friends”

When you end a love relationship, the worst thing that you can do is ask your ex to “be friends.” 

You can’t expect to be good friends after all that you’ve been through.

Past lovers are never good friends because of all the emotions they still feel, and you’re no exception to the rule.

La soluzione migliore sarebbe lasciarlo in pace e, in questo modo, fargli sentire la sua mancanza.

If he sees that you’re enjoying your life without him, he may be a little jealous, and come to realize that he still loves you after all.

Ma tenerlo con sé non farà altro che rendere l'esperienza ancora più insopportabile.

L'uomo che amate non può essere vostro amico a causa della profondità delle vostre emozioni. 

Forse con il tempo potrete arrivare gradualmente a quel punto, ma in questo momento avete bisogno di un po' di sano distacco per risolvere la situazione e dargli la possibilità di sentire la vostra mancanza.

Don’t delude yourself that this friendship stands a chance. It would be doomed from the get-go.

3. Attenzione ai social media

So che alcune ragazze fanno il fantasma dei loro ex su social media sites, but that’s not a good way to get over someone.

Going off on Snapchat and posting sexy, revealing photos and snaps only makes you look lame in his eyes. That’s the furthest thing from a healthy way to get over someone.

Il ghosting ti fa sentire bene solo per un secondo e andare in giro per Instagram renderà evidente chi è il tuo target (il tuo ex).

Maybe he has a rebound girlfriend as well, just to get over you, but that wouldn’t sit well with you, would it? 

So, just forget that you have your ex in your Facebook contacts and don’t post any kind of hateful posts about bad relationships because he’ll know that you are doing it because of him.

And that’s anything but positive for you. He’ll see your jealousy and bitterness and it might even make him feel good, because he’ll know that he is the cause of your downfall.

Don’t do this to yourself – rise above it. Post only the things you would normally post and restrain yourself from petty Tweets and vengeful posts.

Those never work in anyone’s favor and it’s better to realize this now, before you regret it.

4. Incontrare qualcuno di nuovo

When you meet someone new, you won’t think about your ex so much.

On the other hand, he’ll see that you’re having fun without him and start missing you. So whatever happens, it is a win-win situation.

In this way, you’ll make your ex think about you and he might even contact you to ask you about your life.

Si tratta di una cosa abbastanza normale in tutte le relazioni, perché nessun uomo riesce a superare il fatto che la sua ex si diverta con qualcuno di nuovo solo un paio di giorni dopo la rottura.

He’ll think that he wasn’t special to you and do his best to win you back.

Even if this new person isn’t somebody you’re interested in, that’s totally irrelevant.

It can be any guy friend that he doesn’t know about and it’ll do the trick.

Fategli sentire la vostra mancanza facendo così poco. A volte, le cose più semplici fanno bene!

5. Ignorarlo

The best way to get his attention is to actually ignore him. He’ll ask himself if there is another man in your life and if you’re already over him.

Fategli il trattamento del silenzio ogni volta che lo vedete, in modo che capisca che non siete più interessati a ciò che ha da dire.

Knowing guys, he’ll constantly think about it – he won’t be able to help himself – and start missing you like crazy.

In no time, he’ll probably call you to go out with him so you could talk about what happened.

And it’s going to be a pretty good sign that he wants you to be together again.

Just lower your expectations and don’t expect things to happen overnight.

It takes time to win him back, but it is possible. Don’t push too hard and try to let things develop organically. If it’s meant to be, he’s going to find his way back.

6. Tagliarlo fuori completamente

It’s one thing to ignore him, but cutting him off completely, as if he never existed, is a whole other thing! That’ll confuse him and he’ll wonder why you’re behaving like that.

It’ll make him think more about you, make him miss you more than ever. In that way, you’ll give him his space and he’ll be able to do what he wants.

Ma sapete una cosa? Penserà solo a voi e, lasciandolo in pace, riuscirete a farlo tornare.

Vedrà che siete tutto ciò di cui ha bisogno e non vorrà più lasciarvi. La verità è che ha capito il vostro valore solo quando vi ha perso.

And once you completely cut him off, he finally came to his senses, realizing that you’re the only girl capable of making his heart beat fast.

You’re the only girl he would ever get so upset over. And he’ll be damned if he’ll let you allontanarsi per la seconda volta!

7. Essere irresistibili

Fate tutto ciò che è in vostro potere per essere la versione migliore di voi stessi. Cambiate stile di abbigliamento e cambiate mentalità.

Tell yourself every day that you’re an amazing woman and that he’ll regret dumping you. Let him see you all dressed up, having fun with someone new.

If he still loves you, he’ll probably be jealous and want you back. If he sees that you’re doing pretty good on your own, he’ll want you back.

He’ll realize what he’s lost and do anything to have you back in his life. So, it’s up to you whether you’ll go back to him and under which conditions.

And the best thing about this is that once you make all of these tiny changes and start having fun without him, you’ll actually realize that you’re still perfectly capable of being happy, regardless of what happens with him!

So either way, you know that you’ll be okay. Hopefully it will make him realize his loss.

But even if he doesn’t, it’ll give you hope that you’re good on your own.

8. Pretend you’ve moved on

In this case, you need to play an important role – the role of a woman who doesn’t give a damn.

Ciò significa che dovete fingere di essere sempre felici, anche se non lo siete.

Pubblicate foto con nuove persone con cui vi divertite, dimostrategli che siete brave a stare da sole e che ha commesso un errore quando vi ha lasciate andare.

I know this sounds a little bit cruel, but just keep in mind that you’re doing it to bring him back.

Stai facendo tutto questo perché lo ami davvero e tieni a lui. E devi andare avanti con questo gioco finché non vedi un cambiamento in lui.

Ci sono solo due cose che possono accadere: Può tornare da voi o allontanarsi e soffrire per avervi perso.

And my guess is, he’ll come back to you in a heartbeat. We’re all only human.

Vedere la sua ragazza ballare felicemente la notte con persone nuove e vecchi amici del liceo lo nausea.

He might think that he’s over you, but that’s when the feelings will come rushing back.

9. Don’t beg him to come back

Per quanto lo amiate e desideriate la sua presenza, non pregatelo mai di nulla.

Ricordate che, a prescindere dai chilometri percorsi (anche se aveste una relazione a distanza o viveste nella casa accanto), nessuno gli impedisce di contattarvi.

Don’t stoop so low for someone who doesn’t want to make an effort to win you back.

There is nothing wrong with missing him, but don’t ever beg him to take you back. Remember that you have your own pride and will never cross the line.

Se ti amasse davvero e sentisse la tua mancanza, cercherebbe di contattarti per discutere.

But just don’t do something that you’ll regret later. Sometimes, it’s more important to be true to yourself than to do things for someone else that you know you’ll learn to regret.

It’s important to realize who’s worth your efforts and who isn’t. But begging should never be an option – you know you’re better than that.

10. Don’t criticize his new life

Just because you’re angry or sad doesn’t mean that you should criticize his new life.

He might find a rebound girlfriend just to make you jealous, but don’t believe all that you see.

Men use different tricks to make their ex jealous and suffer for them, but since you know that, don’t even pay attention.

Rimanete fuori dalla sua vita dandogli lo spazio per provare cose diverse.

In the end, he’ll see that you’re the best and want to come back to you.

Respect his choices and watch from a safe distance, but never intervene. That’s a line that should never be crossed.

It’s fine to want to win him back, but it’s wrong feeling you have the right to criticize the way in which he has moved on.

A ciascuno il suo. Dio ha sempre un piano e, con un po' di fortuna, la sua strada potrebbe riportarlo da voi in men che non si dica.

11. Rimanere occupati

If you are busy, chances are higher that you won’t think about him so much. In that way, he’ll have enough time to think twice about your relationship, plus, you’ll feel that you’re doing something good for yourself by enjoying your life.

I know that you won’t be able to relax fully and that he’ll cross your mind sometimes, but if you keep yourself busy, those moments will be rare.

Per non pensare a lui, potete iniziare a imparare qualcosa di nuovo. Iscrivetevi a un nuovo corso o dedicatevi a un nuovo hobby.

Whatever it might be, it’ll surely help you stay away from him and in that way, make him come back to you.

By keeping busy, you’re doing yourself a huge favor. First, you’re giving your mind a break from the constant thoughts about him, and you are focusing on something else, which will help you find new things to enjoy with all of this newfound free time!

12. If he contacts you, don’t answer immediately

Permettetemi di chiedervi: Hai sofferto quando ti ha lasciato? Hai pianto fino ad addormentarti perché pensavi che avesse un'altra? È stato difficile per te smettere di pensare a lui?

Se la risposta è positiva a tutte queste domande, significa che merita un assaggio della sua stessa medicina.

You need to show him that he’s not the only important one in your life and that you are good on your own.

So, when he texts you or calls you, don’t get back to him immediately. Let some time pass and then call or text him.

Ditegli che eravate occupati a fare altro e chiedetegli di cosa ha bisogno da voi.

But be sure not to answer until at least the next day . You may even be active on Snapchat and snapping new pics while you’re ignoring him if you want; you don’t owe him anything.

Be strict but polite at the same time, and don’t let him think that you’re suffering just because you’re no longer together.

It’ll definitely make him tornare a voi perché l'avete lasciato da solo per un po' di tempo.

13. Divertirsi

You know what they say: Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened!

Solo perché avete terminato una relazione d'amore , doesn’t mean that you should shut yourself up in your room and cry over your sad destiny. Instead, go out and have fun.

Life is short – you should enjoy it. Moreover, when your ex sees you happy, he’ll think about the reason for your happiness.

Potrebbe anche pensare che avete trovato qualcuno di nuovo e iniziare a vedere tutte le vostre belle qualità.

And there’s a point at which he will totally lose himself because of you.

Just because you had fun and didn’t make any drama about the breakup , he wanted to have you in his life again.

By just showing him that you can do well on your own and by leaving him alone, you’ll slowly make him want you back.

It takes truly little to make a guy see your worth. All it takes is some genuine fun without him, and it’ll make him wonder why he left you in the first place . If he’s the right guy for you, eventually he’ll knock on your door.

But if he doesn’t, despite all of this, it’s your cue that he’s not the guy you’re meant to be with. Open your eyes and see things for what they truly are.

14. Fare dei vostri amici comuni i vostri alleati

It’s expected that you and your ex will have some mutual friends if you were in a long-term relationship . 

E quello che puoi fare per riconquistarlo è lasciare che ti vedano con qualcun altro, così che possano dirglielo.

Even if you don’t have anyone special (because you still love him), make them believe that you do. That’s your way to get in his head again.

Godetevi una serata fuori con un nuovo uomo, ma assicuratevi che i vostri amici comuni lo vedano.

I’m sure they’ll tell him what they saw and he won’t be able to believe what they’re saying.

That’ll make him go crazy about you because he knows that deep down he isn’t over you yet, he just pretends that he is.

And yes, that’ll make him crawl back to you to ask to be with you again.

Just don’t be too obvious and needy. Casually mention to them that you’re seeing someone new and make sure that they know how happy you are (it doesn’t have to be true).

E siate certi che prima o poi la notizia arriverà al vostro ex. A quel punto, la palla passa a lui.

If he wants you, he better move quickly and if he doesn’t, you’ll at least know for sure and be able to focus on healthier things.

15. Lasciarlo andare per farlo tornare

Il modo migliore per far sì che un uomo torni da voi è che voi lasciarlo andare . So che sembra strano, ma ascoltatemi.

In that way, you’ll give him enough time to think about you and your relationship, and to see all the pros and cons.

If he really loves you, he’ll just need some time to figure it out and then he’ll come back to you.

Sometimes people get stuck in a routine in long-term relationships and they need to be apart from each other just to realize that they can’t live one without the other.

So, if you try this, I’m sure that you both will feel better and that after he comes back to you, your relationship will be more stable and healthy.

A little safe distance is what’s often needed to realize what it is that makes your life worth living.

And if it takes this messy breakup for him to realize he can’t afford to lose you, so be it!

You’ve got plenty of time on your hands, and you’re not going anywhere.

If you feel like he’s worth the wait, than do just that and believe that things are happening for a reason, which will soon be clear.

Just because right now it feels like you’re broken and that things aren’t looking up, it doesn’t mean it will stay that way. Patience and faith are the key ingredients for a lifetime of love!

16. Godetevi il vostro tempo libero

After you break up with your man, don’t let all your boats sink. Instead, have fun and enjoy your free time.

You are now on your own and you should do all the things that you’ve always wanted but never had time for.

Fare escursioni, viaggiare, uscire con gli amici, leggere un buon libro o andare in bicicletta.

Do everything that makes you happy and you’ll feel better because you’ll know that you’re doing something nice for yourself.

In this way, you’ll have enough time to think about your ex and your relationship and all the things you need to work on. And after he spends so much time without you, he’ll start missing you.

Se i suoi sentimenti sono forti, tornerà da voi solo perché lo avete lasciato solo.

But in the interim, you’re going to gain some really in-depth knowledge about yourself and your capabilities.

You’ll realize how strong, self-sufficient, and badass you are on your own.

You’ll find time to spend solely on yourself and your own needs, which is something I’m sure you’ve been neglecting.

Sarà un bene per la vostra anima, per la vostra crescita personale e per le verità oneste e necessarie a Dio.

And the biggest plus is that he’ll realize all of these things too. He’ll come back to a newly-empowered woman who is ready to be loved the way she deserves.

17. Don’t let him see you upset

I know that it hurts you because you lost the man you love so much. And I also know that you’re so upset and you want him back. But it’s not good if he sees you like this because that won’t bring him back.

You have the right to be upset, but only when he’s not around. When you are alone at home, you can act like you want, but when you are somewhere in public, try to act as normal as you can.

Anche se il vostro mondo sta andando a rotoli, fate finta che state attraversando il periodo più felice della vostra vita.

In that way, your ex will see that you’re not desperate,  that you can handle all the consequences of a breakup .

It’ll make him think more about you and, in some cases (if he loves you enough), tornerà da voi.

Find comfort in your family and best friends . Speak to them about everything that’s going through your mind.

Cry your eyes out in front of them and bare your soul. That way, once you see him, you’ll be out of tears to cry and things to complain about.

La vostra anima si sentirà più leggera e la vostra mente sarà più chiara, e questa è la versione che dovete mostrargli.

This version of you – a girl who can pick herself up and put on a brave face when all she wants to do is cry – is what’s going to make him see that you’re a girl like no other.

18. Andare avanti

I know you don’t want to move on, but at least make it appear that way. It’s funny how your brain can trick itself into actually believing something to be the case.

Your ex will think that you are happy in a new life with someone else and it’ll bug him for a long time.

In the end, when he can’t sopportare it any longer, he’ll try to contact you to riunirsi.

Questo è sempre un buon modo per farlo tornare da voi, perché lo avete lasciato solo e gli avete permesso di pensare a ciò che ha perso quando vi ha lasciato andare.

Both of you will get what you want and you’ll be able to start un nuovo capitolo della vostra vita insieme.

Entrambi vi renderete conto di quanto state bene insieme e di quanto vi è mancato vedervi ogni mattina al risveglio. 

But luckily, you’ll have all the time in the world to make up for lost time and enjoy each other more than ever.

19. Don’t focus on what you’ve lost

Invece di concentrarvi sulla perdita, pensate alle cose positive che vi possono capitare quando non avrete più una relazione.

You’ll have enough time to think about the pros and cons of your relationship, and decide if you still want your ex to be a part of your life.

Quando due persone che sono state insieme per molto tempo, passano un po' di tempo separate, vedono alcune cose più chiaramente.

So, don’t regret anything that happened and know that if you still love your ex and want him, you can get him back into your life again.

It’s always in your head. You choose how to perceive this breakup .

You can focus on an ex boyfriend who’s no longer a part of you and cry yourself to sleep, or you can gain a new perspective that’ll make your life so much more meaningful.

This time apart will end up being the best for the both of you. Why? Because you’ll have time to think about what you mean to each other individually.

You’ll come to realize that he was truly your best friend and you don’t want to leave things so broken.

So you’ll make the best of the situation, work on yourself, and seriously try to fix anything that may need fixing.

This is going to be your second chance at love, and you don’t want to waste it.

Yes, you’ve lost him for now, but you’ve also gained freedom and self-growth.

Use it to your advantage and if he’s worth it, show him how focused you are on what REALLY matters and that things can and will be different this time around.

RELATIVO: Si pentirà di avermi persa? 7 segni che lo farà e come farglielo capire

20. Essere onesti riguardo alla rottura

Questa è l'ultima cosa che il vostro ex si aspetta che facciate, ma dovreste provarla perché funziona davvero.

If you wish him all the best, he’ll wonder why you’re not sad and if you have someone new in your life.

Because of this action, he’ll respect you more and have second thoughts about your breakup .

After you do this, respect the no contact rule and act like he doesn’t even exist.

Don’t contact him under any circumstances and, by leaving him alone, make him come back to you. He won’t even know why the hell he misses you so much and he’ll crave you more than ever.

È proprio questo che lo spingerà a fare il passo più lungo della gamba per voi, quindi potete aspettarvi che si impegni al massimo per riconquistarvi.

When he sees that you’re not stooping so low and you’re not trying to make things appear different than they actually were, he’ll respect you for it.

L'onestà è sempre la scelta migliore in amore e nella vita in generale. Siate voi stesse, lavorate sul vostro benessere e lasciate che sia lui a venire da voi se vuole tornare.

He needs to see you’re still the girl he fell in love with, but with a twist. You no longer care for irrelevant, fake ideals.

A ll you want is commitment, and a promise that you will both work on your relationship every day. Things aren’t always going to be perfect, but that’s okay.

For as long as two people keep holding onto each other and choose to never give up on their love, there is hope that things will work out. It’s you two against the world, and never forget that.

Pensieri finali

So, we’ve discussed some of the most common behaviors you should follow if you want him to come back to you by leaving him alone.

The most important thing is that you respect all the rules and you don’t break them just because of a temporary crisis.

Se il vostro ex ti ama ancora and you’ve just had a small fight, I’m sure that you won’t need to make a lot of effort to win him back.

On the other hand, if he’s stopped loving you and already moved on with his life, it might be harder for you to get what you want.

The most important thing is to have dignity while making him come back to you because if he sees that you’re desperate, he won’t be so interested in taking you back.

I know that the last thing you want is to follow some online rules to bring your man back, but advice like this has really helped a lot of people and they can help you too – if you follow them exactly as they are.

For example, you can’t follow la regola del non contatto only when it’s convenient –  texting your ex every time he texts you – and expect this rule to work. That defeats the objective.

You need to understand that everything you do that doesn’t include these rules might not bring you to the situation you want to be in.

I hope that you won’t be needing these tips, but since I know that every couple has had a big fight at least once in their relationship, I know that many of you will try to find solutions for your problems online.

I hope the things that I wrote will help you bring your ex back. And that you’ll think twice the next time you wish to rottura con la persona amata.