Troverò mai l'amore? 13 lezioni importanti che nessuno ti ha dato

If you’re a twenty-something or thirty-year-old single, I bet that you can’t swear that you have never asked yourself: “Troverò mai l'amore?”.

It’s natural that you worry about this. After all, you’re a human being and you have the need to love and be loved.

You’ve had your own share of breakups and heartbreaks. All of your past relationships have failed, and now you can’t help but wonder “Troverò mai l'amore again or will I remain forever alone?”

In questo caso, ecco alcuni promemoria che vi cambieranno la vita e che cambieranno per sempre la vostra prospettiva.

Un giorno, tutto avrà perfettamente senso.

Now, when you feel like you’ve hit a dead-end, it’s natural that you think that everything you’ve been through up to now is completely pointless. 

Why did you have to go through all those heartbreaks? Why did all of your exes hurt you in the most horrible way when you’ve never done anything wrong to them?

Perché hai dovuto innamorarsi follemente with that guy or girl if you two weren’t meant to end up together?

Avete fatto qualcosa per meritare questa misera fortuna? Come mai tutte le persone intorno a voi hanno avuto la meglio su di voi?

So many questions and no answers in sight. It’s not that you’re envious, but you look at your friends, and compared to them, you’re a real angel.

You’ve never dragged a guy or a girl along, you are one of the rare people you know who has always been faithful to their partners, and you have never broken anyone’s heart.

But, comparing yourself to them, you have the worst luck. You’re the only one who hasn’t found love.

So, where is the justice in all of it? What was the point of all the hell you’ve been through if you obviously aren’t getting your happy ending?

Tutto accade per una ragione

Well, it appears that you’ve forgotten that everything happens for a reason. It’s not like this with romantic love only – this can be applied to every single aspect of your life.

Forse avete dovuto sperimentare tutto quel dolore per poter apprezzare ancora di più la gioia, una volta che è arrivata. Forse era destino che incontraste tutti quei ragazzi o ragazze tossici per poter valutare quello giusto quando sarebbe arrivato.

È possibile che abbiate dovuto assistere al cambiamento di tutti i vostri ex, per cui avete avuto la possibilità di imparare a lasciarli andare. Forse è stato per capire che ci sono cose per cui essere grati, nonostante tutto quello che è successo di brutto.

Forse avete dovuto rompere con tutti gli uomini o le donne della vostra vita fino a quel momento, per poter spianare la strada alla vostra persona per sempre.

Forse avete dovuto passare attraverso tutte queste relazioni passate per vedere come mentalmente forte you actually are. If it weren’t for all of those heartbreaks, you would have never become aware of how much you can take, would you?

Look, I don’t know your story. But, what I do know is that one day, all the pieces of the puzzle called your life will perfectly fit together.

L'amore romantico non è tutto.

When you ask yourself “Will I ever find love?”, all you can think about is romance. It’s like, for you, romantic love is all there is.

Well, guess what – it’s not. In fact, there are numerous other types of love besides romantic ones.

First of all, there is your family. I don’t know if you’re close to them or not, but at the end of the day, I’m sure they love you deeply. And, I bet that you love them back.

Then, there is the family you choose – your friends. Just look around you and I’m positive that you’ll notice a bunch of people who are ready to move mountains for your sake.

I’m sure that you’ll see that there are many more of those who truly love you. I’m sure that you’ll notice at least a few people who have your back no matter what.

Persone leali che sono lì per voi nel bel mezzo della notte. Persone su cui si può contare e che rendono la vita migliore.

In fact, it doesn’t have to be plural. It will be more than enough to have just one person in the world who fits this description – it will be more than enough to have one person you can call yours.

Besides, you don’t get love only from those around you.

Love is your next-door neighbor who brings you Christmas cookies. It’s that little kid who smiled at you on the street without any reason whatsoever. It’s that stranger who helped with your grocery bags.

Love is all around you – you just have to look closely.

Siate grati per tutto l'amore che ricevete

When looking at things from this point of view, I guess there is a lot to be grateful for, am I right? After all, it’s a privilege having someone to love you no matter what kind of love you might be getting from them.

But, instead of focusing on that, what do you do? You worry about the only type of love you don’t have.

Yes, I know I’m right. You have dozens of different people who truly love you, but instead, you obsess over not having one person.

I know that your family or best friend can’t replace a romantic partner, but that doesn’t mean that you should completely disregard the care and attention you’re getting from everyone else.

La vostra più grande responsabilità è amare voi stessi.

So, I’ve been talking about all those other types of love you’ve been getting without seeing it. But, I haven’t talked to you about the most important love there is: the one you’re giving to yourself.

You see, many people who don’t get romantic love automatically assume that they’re unlovable. Out of all the men or women in the world, none of them found you worthy of their unconditional love.

Quindi, deve essere vero: non c'è nulla da amare in voi e, di conseguenza, smettete di amarvi.

You start wondering why aren’t I enough. What’s wrong with me?

Non siete abbastanza attraenti? Intelligenti o interessanti abbastanza? Perché dovresti amare te stesso quando nessun altro lo fa?

Well, that’s your number one mistake. You see, people are often led by examples.

Therefore, if you meet a guy or a girl and show them a lack of self-love and self-care, they will follow you. You won’t have to put a lot of effort into convincing them that there is nothing to be loved about you – they will believe you right away.

If you show someone that you don’t respect yourself, they won’t do it either. If you show them that you don’t think that you’re worthy – they won’t see your value either. It’s that simple.

Sì, amare gli altri è fantastico. Vi aiuta a diventare il migliore di voi stessi e arricchisce la vostra anima e la vostra mente. Ma la vostra più grande responsabilità è quella di amare voi stessi prima di chiunque altro.

Il rapporto con se stessi è una priorità

By knowing this, it won’t come to you as a surprise that you have to fare di voi stessi una priorità.

Whether you like to admit it or not, people will come and go from your life. I’m not talking about your romantic partners here only – I’m talking about everyone else.

That’s just life. You don’t have to intentionally cut ties with someone. Instead, you can lose touch, or maybe your destinies have different paths planned for you.

In ogni caso, il punto fondamentale è che si possono perdere tutti, per quanto possa sembrare doloroso. Tutti possono lasciarvi, tranne voi stessi.

You’re the only one who will stick with yourself. After all, you have no other choice – there is no option in which you can run from yourself when you feel like it.

Allora, capite perché la relazione tra voi e voi è la più importante? Perché dovete lavorarci costantemente? Perché dovete tenerlo a cuore per il resto della vostra vita?

Meritate il tipo di amore che dareste a qualcun altro.

Da sempre, da quando si ha memoria, si è sempre stati colui che ama di più. It has been like that in all of your relationships: you’ve been the one carrying most of the weight.

It’s not that you begged for someone’s attention and affection. But, the bitter truth is that most of your relationships wouldn’t have gotten so far without you pushing them that hard.

So, it’s perfectly natural that you end up feeling used and taken advantage of. Not only that: you’re also drained and exhausted from all of that work.

You feel like there is no more energy left in you. You’ve been putting too much sforzo nelle relazioni che erano destinati a fallire.

But, the worst part is that you rarely got anything back. You feel like everything was in vain, and you don’t plan on repeating the same mistakes again.

The last thing you want is another relationship in which you’re the one who gives more – a relationship in which you’re the one who keeps on pushing things forward without the other person moving an inch.

You can’t help but feel like you were alone in most of your relationships. Instead of fighting side by side with your partner, most of the time, you had to fight against them.

Well, I promise you that this will change. You’ll never be in a similar situation again.

E sapete perché? Perché l'Universo ha visto tutto. Ha visto le vostre lacrime e i vostri sforzi.

The Universe saw how capable you are of loving. And, you’ll never meet anyone who doesn’t have the same abilities as you.

Instead, the next time you meet someone special, they will give you back the love they’ll receive from you because you deserve all the love you keep giving to everyone else.

Once you understand that, you’ll never settle for anything less. You’ll never settle for someone who doesn’t have the capacity to do good.

Incontrerete la vostra anima gemella: qualcuno che vi amerà profondamente e che non tratterrà mai nessuna parte di sé. Incontrerete una persona che realizzerà tutti i vostri sogni.

You will meet someone who won’t make you feel emotionally neglected and unloved. Trust me: all the positive energy and love you’ve given to the world will find their way back to you.

Diventare senza cuore non è la strada da percorrere

Don’t get disappointed in love just because you’re meeting people who don’t know how to reciprocate your efforts. Don’t costruire muri just because you’ve run into someone who didn’t see the magnitude of your heart.

Instead, you keep on doing you. I promise you – karma will reward you for all of your hard work.

You’re never too old and it’s never too late.

Who told you that love has an age limit? Trust me: this is nothing but a myth that we’re about to bust.

I don’t know how and when this happened, but it seems that people rinunciare a trovare l'amore dopo un certo periodo di tempo.

It’s like romance is reserved for your twenties only. Once you hit your thirties, everyone acts like they’re trying to catch the last chance for love.

It’s like you’ll cease to exist after a certain age. Like your ability to feel will suddenly disappear as you walk into the fourth or fifth decade of your life.

Well, guess what: it won’t. In fact, there are countless examples of people who found the love of their life in retirement homes.

So, please, don’t let society limit you with this nonsense. There is absolutely no need for you to panic about not finding your forever person just because you’ve reached a certain age.

I don’t care how long you’ve waited to go back out there – you might just as well meet your Ms. or Mr. Right tomorrow.

There is no guarantee that relationships that start in your twenties or thirties will be more successful. Instead, it’s the other way around.

Relazioni in età avanzata

Yes, I know it seems that finding someone when you’re a fifty-, sixty-, or seventy-year-old single man or woman looks like mission impossible. Most of the people your age are already taken.

E quelli che non lo sono? Tutti loro hanno un grosso peso sulle spalle. Tutti, compresi voi, portano con sé un bagaglio emotivo.

But, let’s look at things from another perspective: at this point, you and your potential partners know exactly what you’re looking for. If not, at least, you know what you don’t want, and that’s much more than the knowledge you had back when you were younger, isn’t it?

So, all of this experience doesn’t make it harder to love and be loved. Instead, it makes your heart a lot more break-resistant.

Inoltre, chi dice che si può trovare qualcuno della propria età? Nessuno vi impedisce di frequentare persone al di fuori della vostra generazione.

Just because you’re a little bit older than a typical bachelor doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to look for love.

Forget about all that advice telling you to settle for anything. Forget about people telling you that you’re too picky and that you should take the first offer you have. In fact, according to them, you should be lucky if you find anyone your age.

Well, trust me when I tell you that this can’t be farther from the truth. Remember this: it’s never too late and you’re never too old.

Every time you’re rejected, you’re redirected to something better.

I’ll be honest with you here: nobody likes being rejected. It doesn’t have to necessarily mean that you loved the person who said “no” to your offer.

If your heart doesn’t get broken in this process – your ego certainly will. When something like this happens, you can’t help but wonder what’s wrong with you.

How come the person you liked couldn’t even give you a chance? Are you that unlovable?

Ci sono opzioni migliori di te là fuori? Oppure siete così pessimi che preferiscono stare da soli piuttosto che passare del tempo con voi?

Why couldn’t you be abbastanza buono for them? Does that mean that you won’t be good enough for anyone else in the future either?

These are all the questions running through your head while you’re trying to figure out the answer to the ultimate one: “Will I ever find love?”

I won’t lie to you: rejection is hard for everyone. It’s not pleasing even for those players that hit on dozens of girls in one night.

Mette in discussione il proprio valore, la capacità di attrarre il sesso opposto e l'intero futuro sentimentale.

Well, let’s switch tables for a little bit. Instead of seeing rejection as a curse, try observing it as a blessing.

Yes, that’s right. You remember how everything happens for a reason. So, what if you got rejected for a reason?

What if this was the Universe’s life-changing way of redirecting you to qualcosa di molto meglio? E se foste destinati a cose più grandi?

È possibile che hai davvero schivato un proiettile when this person decided not to give you a chance? Was this God’s way of saving you from a lot of misery?

Forse sareste infelici accanto a questa persona. Oppure, forse finireste intrappolati in questa relazione e perdereste la possibilità di incontrare la vostra vera persona per sempre.

Please, try thinking this way every time you get rejected. Yes, it will keep on happening, but you’ll stop seeing it as the end of the world.

Non c'è niente di peggio di un'opportunità mancata

You’ll always know you’ve tried. You’ll know that you gave your best and did everything in your power to make this person yours.

At least, you’ll have that realization. There won’t be all of the “what ifs” and “coulda, shoulda have beens” haunting you forever.

You saw an opportunity and you grabbed it. The truth is that it didn’t work out as you had planned, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t work out for the best in the long run.

Quindi, invece di lasciare che questa esperienza rovini la vostra autostima, dovrebbe farvi sentire orgogliosi. Avete avuto il coraggio di aprire il vostro cuore a qualcuno e lui non vi ha visto come un grande cattura siete è la loro perdita.

Il rifiuto non è personale

Another thing you must keep in mind is that different people will reject you for different reasons. Whatever that is in question, the bottom line is that you can’t take it personally.

First and foremost, everyone has the right to choose who they’ll be with. The object of your affection is no different.

Them refusing to give you a chance doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you. Maybe they’re not ready for a relationship right now.

Forse si godono la loro vita da single. Oppure hanno dei problemi irrisolti con il passato e sono abbastanza onesti da non trascinarvi nei loro casini.

Or, they’re just not that into you. That doesn’t make you any less worthy. Just because one person doesn’t like you or doesn’t find you attractive doesn’t mean that you’re not likable or hot.

Don’t forget that we all have our tastes and preferences, and if someone doesn’t see you as their suitable match – whatever the reason is – don’t take that as an insult.

Rispettate invece le loro decisioni e andate avanti.

Ciò che è destinato ad essere troverà sempre un modo.

The bottom line is that you can’t force anyone to be with you, let alone to care for you. If you still haven’t found the love you’re looking for, one thing is for sure: love still hasn’t been meant to find you.

There is no point in forcing anything. You can’t lose what’s not truly yours nor can you get what’s not destined to be yours.

Potreste trovare l'amore domani o tra dieci anni. In ogni caso, busserà alla vostra porta quando sarà il momento giusto.

You can’t catch it and you certainly can’t run away from it. Whoever is meant to be yours will always find a way.

You will cross paths with your soulmate and there isn’t anyone or anything that can prevent that from happening.

Even when it seems impossible and even when everything seems lost – what is meant to be yours will end up in your hands.

Non ha senso pensare troppo

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you should sit on your couch, expecting the love of your life to actually knock on your door.

Tecnicamente, in questo modo potreste rendervi conto che il vostro fattorino è in realtà il vostro partner ideale, il che sarebbe anche il destino.

That’s as if you keep asking God or the Universe to help you win the lottery without you ever actually filling out a ticket.

After all, that’s what makes us human (among other things): our judgment and decision-making skills. Therefore, I’m not advising you to put your entire life in the hands of destiny.

You can’t be a passive bystander, but there is no point in being a relazione di sovrappensiero o.

Potete preoccuparvi della vostra vita sentimentale quanto volete, ma le cose andranno al loro posto in un momento predestinato.

I know that this probably sounds scary, but the bottom line is that some things are out of your reach, and you’ll just have to deal with it.

Dio ha un piano per voi.

Posso promettervi una cosa: Dio ha tempi perfetti. Tenete presente che La pazienza è la chiave del successo, and don’t rush anything. He knows a lot more than you and He will give you what’s right for you to have.

He has a plan for each one of us. It’s just that sometimes, we fail to understand His intentions.

We’ve all been there: in a situation where we think we’ve reached our breaking point. There you are: at rock bottom.

You don’t see a way out. You think of a million solutions, but not one gives you hope that there is a better tomorrow.

So, you’re on the verge of a breakdown. You are about to give up on everything and embrace spending the rest of your life in misery.

È allora che Dio vi salverà. Vi ha dato esattamente quanto potete sopportare.

He has been testing you and putting you in front of many walls. He has taken a lot from you – but that’s because He has had much better things and people in store all along.

God won’t give you what you want – He will give you what you need

La cosa più importante è che Dio non vi darà mai quello che volete. Naturalmente, pensate che questa sia la cosa peggiore che possa accadere.

But, trust me: it’s actually the best. And, you know why? Because He’ll always give you exactly what you need without you even being aware of it.

You’re just a human being. That means that there are some things beyond your comprehension and you’ll just have to deal with them.

Sometimes, you wish for things and people that are actually no good for you – you just don’t see it. Well, the good news is that He always does.

At the end of the day, your job is only to never lose faith, even when you’re at your worst. Trust me: God loves you, even when you don’t love yourself.

He will never betray you and He will never give up on you. As long as you believe in His judgments, you’ll never have to walk alone in this world.

Nulla va mai via finché non ti insegna una lezione.

After all those failures and wrong choices, you not only wonder: “Will I ever find love?”, but you also ask yourself: “When will my bad luck go away?”

Cos'altro dovrebbe accadere per ottenere la vostra porzione di felicità? Quando si fermerà finalmente questo ciclo di tristezza e crepacuore?

Quando smetterete di imbattervi in persone che sono palesemente sbagliate per voi?

Or, maybe this is all just about one person who clearly doesn’t care for you enough. When will you get the strength to finally cut ties with this man or woman who doesn’t deserve you?

Quando andrai avanti con la tua vita e quando il tuo cuore spezzato guarirà? Quando capirete che questa non è la scelta giusta per voi? Quando ti salverai e supererai questa situazione persona tossica?

Ebbene, la risposta è: tutto questo dolore sparirà quando imparerete qualcosa da esso. Vedete, nulla sparisce mai finché non vi insegna una lezione.

Ancora una volta, torniamo al concetto che tutto accade per una ragione. Ebbene, tutte queste persone cattive dovevano semplicemente attraversare la vostra vita per insegnarvi alcune cose.

First of all, you have to learn that you don’t depend on anyone. Yes, contrary to your expectations, I guess you survived without that boy or girl you were so obsessed about a year ago. So, why do you think that this time will be different?

Also, you have to learn to appreciate yourself. Nothing good ever came out of you begging for someone’s love, did it?

Every toxic person in your life served a purpose. So, don’t look at them as your own personal misery – look at them as your path to happiness.

Le lezioni più difficili sono quelle più preziose

So, why did I have to learn all of this the hard way? Why couldn’t it have been a little simpler?

Well, that’s the whole point: the toughest lessons are the most valuable ones. They’re the only ones you’ll never forget.

I’m talking about the experiences that cost you a lot… about the ones you had to waste a lot of sweat and tears over before you finally understood the core.

I’m talking about the lessons that left unerasable scars on your heart and soul… about the ones that changed you forever. These are the only lessons you’ll remember for as long as you breathe.

Sembra che tutti abbiano una relazione in questo momento.

When you look around, it seems that you’re the only single person you know. It’s like everyone has found their special someone. Everyone besides you.

And, I’m not talking about casual hook-ups here only. It seems that all of your friends, coworkers, and acquaintances are in serious, relazioni a lungo termine.

La maggior parte di loro è sposata e quelli che non lo sono hanno sicuramente intenzione di sposarsi a breve.

Ogni volta che si controllano i feed dei social media, si vedono solo coppie felicemente innamorate. Vedete persone che vivono la vita che voi potete solo sognare.

So, it’s natural that you feel like an outcast. You can’t help but wonder what your fatal flaw is. How is it possible that you’re the only one who can’t find your perfect match?

Beh, lasciatemi dire una cosa: sembra che tutti abbiano una relazione in questo momento. È così che funziona la mente umana.

You can’t help but focus on the things you crave. You’re so obsessed with having a loving relationship right now that it has become the only thing on your mind.

You meet people with one goal only: to find a lover. You spend all of your free time on online dating sites and dating apps, such as Tinder, or going from one blind date to another. You’re obviously forcing something to fit in.

You don’t notice all the breakups and divorces around you. You don’t notice a bunch of forever alone girls and guys surrounding you.

Instead, you only see what you can’t have.

Besides, don’t believe everything you see on social media. Most of the time, things are nowhere near the way they look.

People don’t like sharing their misery with the rest of the world. Instead, they want their followers to think that they have the most perfect life ever.

That’s why you keep getting the impression that everyone is happy but you.

Don’t be bothered with society’s standards

I just want you to know one thing: you should never let society dictate your life. They’re not paying your bills and they’re not there to give you a hug when you’re crying yourself to sleep.

So, who are they to tell you that you’re less valuable just because you don’t have a partner? Therefore, if the only reason why you’re so desperate to find your match is to fit in – you’re not actually looking for love.

You’re looking for someone to accompany you on double dates with your BFF. You’re looking for someone to be your plus one at weddings and important events.

You’re looking for someone to post happy selfies on your social media profiles. You’re looking for someone to take you out on Valentine’s day, so you don’t have to passarlo da soli a casa come l'anno scorso.

Don’t get me wrong: these are all parts of a relationship. These are the little things that make every girl and guy happy.

But, this shouldn’t be your primary reason for your question of, “Will I ever find love?” It’s one thing if you really mi manca avere un compagno di vita, but it’s completely different if you want one just to avoid people asking you about your love life and feeling sorry for you when you tell them that you’re still single.

Remember: this is your life and you shouldn’t live it by anyone’s expectations. Don’t fregarsene di quello che pensano gli altri!

Maybe you’re looking for the wrong type of love.

Before you get the answer to the question: “Will I ever find love”, firstly, you have to know what kind of love you’re looking for. Could it be that you idealize the concept of love and soulmates?

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that the perfect person for you doesn’t exist out there. I assure you that your other half awaits you.

I’m not advising you to settle for anything less than this. I’m not telling you to lower your standards just to avoid ending up alone.

I’m just asking you to differentiate between real life and fairytales. Your love story doesn’t have to be like it is in the movies or in old novels.

You don’t have to necessarily bump into your forever person like you’ve seen it in romantic high-school comedies. It doesn’t have to mean that the Earth will stop spinning the moment you meet them.

Passione e amore vero

Vedete, un amore profondo dell'anima is usually not a roller coaster of emotions – l'amore è tranquillo. No, this doesn’t mean that it will make you feel indifferent.

But, please don’t mistake your forever person with that guy or girl you keep on breaking up and getting back together with for years. It’s not that person you can’t seem to get along with nor the one you enjoy fighting with.

Most importantly: don’t mistake true love for butterflies because in most cases, the two don’t have anything in common. In fact, those butterflies and fireworks are usually just passion.

Often, it’s what you feel in a relazione tossica. It’s not love: it’s the feeling of never knowing where you stand… it’s the anticipation of what’ll happen next, and it’s the constant chase.

Il vero amore non vi farà mai sentire così. Al contrario, vi farà sentire come a casa.

Quando si ama qualcunoVi regala un'incredibile tranquillità che non avete mai provato prima.

Il vero amore non è perfetto

This doesn’t mean that you should expect it to be perfect. The truth is that you’ll have your own share of turmoil in every relationship.

Ci saranno disaccordi e grandi battaglie. Il vostro partner vi infastidirà di tanto in tanto e alcune sue abitudini vi daranno sui nervi.

Nevertheless, that’s how things should be. After all, you’re not perfect and neither are they. So, how can you expect your relationship to be flawless?

La vostra felicità inizia da voi.

Il trucco delle persone disperate per trovare l'amore is that, in most cases, they expect it to change… to turn their world upside down in a blink of an eye. I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about.

If nothing else – you’ve seen it in the movies. Or, maybe you’re a romantico senza speranza te stesso che ha le stesse percezioni.

You think that every single problem you have will disappear the moment you meet your companion. It doesn’t matter if you’re struggling with mental health, finances, or any other issue – this person will be your savior and will put an end to all of your sufferings.

Look, love is very powerful, but let’s be real for a second: it’s not the be-all and end-all. This person doesn’t go around carrying a magic stick made just for you.

They will make all of your troubles look a lot more bearable, but they won’t chase them away just like that. They will make the sleepless nights a lot less lonely, but they won’t bring the sunshine out of nowhere.

Mi dispiace dirtelo, ma questo, mia cara, è compito tuo e solo tuo. Vedi, la tua felicità inizia da te.

The bottom line is this: if you’re not happy being single, tough luck, but you won’t be happy in a relationship either. The steering wheel is in your hands only. You’re taking responsibility whether you like it or not.

The point is that you have to sort things out in your life instead of expecting someone else to do it for you. Otherwise, you’ll always be disappointed.

Troverò mai di nuovo l'amore?

Il momento in cui dovete ricordarvene in modo particolare è quando le vostre relazioni sentimentali finiscono. La verità è che commettete l'errore più grande quando collegate la vostra felicità solo alla vostra vita sentimentale.

When this happens, you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel after each break-up. It crushes you because you not only lose someone you love – you lose your entire joy, which would be devastating for everyone.

Well, I can’t emphasize this enough, but the end of your relationship is not and should not be the end of your world. Instead, it is actually a chance for a new, fresh beginning… a chance to take your life into your own hands, and that’s the chance you have to take before you start another quest for love.

Essere single è un'occasione per vivere la propria vita alle proprie condizioni.

I know that you’re here to get the answer to the question: “Will I ever find love?” And, you expect me to tell you when it will happen and probably even how to speed up the process. Well, you can always use the power of learning come manifestare a qualcuno la propria simpatia e innamorarsi di te. 

Yes, you’ll most likely end up with your happily ever after. You’ll find your perfect match who will make your life even better.

But, what if that doesn’t happen? Don’t get me wrong: I’m not claiming that you’ll die alone.

Nevertheless, the fact is that no relationship expert can tell you what waits for you. Your destiny is written in the stars, and I can’t possibly predict what will happen next.

So, without the intention of breaking your bubble, let’s just stop for a moment and take another option into consideration.

Let’s think about the chance that you remain single. I’m not talking about being single per sempre here – I’m talking about being single for some time.

Is that the worst thing that could happen to you? I know that your answer will be positive; otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.

But, hey, trust me: you can’t be more wrong. There is absolutely nothing miserable about being single.

It doesn’t mean that you have to be lonely and desperate. It doesn’t mean that your life will lose its meaning.

Yes, finding the right guy or girl can make you happier. Nevertheless, haven’t we already established that you’re the one who holds the keys to your own happiness?

Look at things this way. Instead of lamenting over your bad luck, why don’t you start observing your single status as a chance to live your life on your own terms?

I’ll be dead honest here. No matter how compatible you are with your significant other, you’ll always have to make some sacrifices for the sake of your relationship.

When you are taken, you’re a part of a team. Of course, you don’t lose your individuality in a healthy relationship, but since you’re no longer an item but a part of a couple, then you’ll have to trovare l'equilibrio nella vostra relazione.

From that moment on, you can’t make any crucial decisions by yourself. It’s not like you can wake up one morning and decide to move to another city, or quit your job and start over.

You can’t even change apartments or pick your next vacation spot if the other person doesn’t agree. The truth is that you’ll have to meet halfway regarding mostly everything.

What I’m trying to tell you is that your vita da single is the last chance you have to make your own choices without having to think about how they’ll influence someone else. Appreciate that before you start to miss it.

La vita da single batte una relazione sbagliata

C'è una cosa ancora più importante che voglio che ricordiate per sempre: l'essere single batte di essere in una relazione tossica in qualsiasi momento.

Perché ve lo dico? Perché molti uomini e donne si lasciano coinvolgere in nuove relazioni per i motivi sbagliati.

Sometimes, you’re just sick and tired of being the only one without a partner, so you jump on the first person that comes along.

You don’t think things through, you don’t analyze whether you two are a good match, and you don’t grow any feelings for them in particular. Instead, you think that this is your last chance for happiness, and you hold on to them.

In pratica, ci si trasforma in una persona che sta annegando e che si aggrappa a una cannuccia.

At the end of the day, you don’t get your happiness. Instead, you make the situation much worse.

Rimani bloccato in una relazione che in realtà non hai mai voluto, con qualcuno che non hai mai amato veramente. O ferite la persona che vi sta accanto o finite voi stessi con il cuore spezzato.

Quando ciò accade, avete due opzioni. Potete rimanere dove siete, lasciando che la vostra vita vi passi davanti, oppure potete chiudere le cose in tempo.

If you choose the first one, be aware that you’ll spend every day of your life feeling like you’re suffocating.

On the other hand, if you do break things off, which is a better choice, you’ll have to do a lot of healing and damage repair.

Quindi, pensate ancora che essere single e godersela sia peggio di questi scenari?

Pensieri finali

It’s one thing if the question, “Will I ever find love”, crosses your mind every now and then. This is something that everyone thinks about from time to time.

But, please, whatever happens, don’t let this become your only obsession. Remember: whatever you chase runs away from you.

Quindi, invece di scervellarvi, fate del vostro meglio per rilassarvi e godervi ogni momento prezioso. Nel frattempo, siate pazienti e aspettate l'amore.