15 fatti inquietanti sugli uomini con bassa autostima

Avere a che fare con uomini che hanno una bassa autostima non è un'impresa da poco. Stare vicino a una persona con un'autostima compromessa e che ha bisogno di continue conferme può richiedere un tributo anche alla persona più dura.

Rispondete a questo: Il uomo che ami lotta con il proprio valore e amore per se stessi? Ha pensieri negativi, un'immagine distorta del corpo e ricorre spesso all'umorismo autoironico?

If so, then you’re dealing with a man who has severe signs of low self-esteem. This type of person has a completely twisted sense of self, and being with him cannot lead to a healthy relationship.

Purtroppo le donne sono note per sopportare troppo spesso questi comportamenti.

But, having your every day ruined by your partner’s lack of self-confidence, which is chipping away at your healthy self-esteem is wrong!

Una relazione a lungo termine con un uomo che ha una bassa autostima può ostacolare la vostra crescita e influenzare la vostra salute mentale.

It’s important to pay attention to the red flags your partner exhibits and rottura prima che le cose vadano troppo oltre.

Gli uomini con scarsa autostima possono sembrare innocui, ma con il tempo il loro comportamento può diventare al limite dell'abuso e del controllo.

If you’re unsure whether he has self-esteem issues, I’ll shed some light on the matter. It’s time to put your own life first.

If you realize that you’re in a relazione tossica, andare via. Nel caso in cui il vostro uomo può Continua a leggere per avere consigli su come farlo con attenzione.

Whatever your next step is, please make sure that it’s in your favor.

Vedi anche: 4 differenze tra un legame autentico e un attaccamento tossico

Segni allarmanti di uomini con bassa autostima

Let’s examine how a human being with self-esteem issues behaves in (and outside) his relationship.

Se riconoscete il vostro partner attraverso questi segnali, valutate attentamente la vostra prossima linea d'azione.

Reagisce male alle critiche costruttive.

Uno dei maggiori segnali di bassa autostima è l'incapacità di accettare qualsiasi tipo di critica. Ogni volta che si cerca di fargli notare qualcosa che potrebbe non piacergli, la prende sul personale.

Everything is an attack and there is no reasoning with him. Even if you’re attempting to talk about these precise issues, he’ll accuse you of constantly picking fights.

Quando una persona è in difficoltà internamente, tende a proiettare le proprie paure di inadeguatezza e insicurezza sui propri cari.

Capisco che sia doloroso, ma non dovete mai prenderla sul personale. Il suo comportamento deriva da problemi che molto probabilmente precedono la vostra relazione.

He often “jokingly” puts you down.

Oftentimes, this happens in front of your female friends. He insists that it’s a mere joke and you shouldn’t take it personally.

But, how could you not? He’s the man you love and the main cause of your stress and anxiety, but remember, when he puts you down, it’s not really about you. He’s just making up for his lack of self-confidence.

When a person with low self-esteem puts you down, it’s because of their feelings of not being good enough.

He’s emotionally very needy, which often becomes draining.

This one shouldn’t come as a surprise. As someone with severe self-esteem issues, it would be surprising if this wasn’t the case. Let me guess. He constantly craves attention.

Probabilmente dovrete prestare particolare attenzione ai sentimenti, cosa che non avete mai dovuto fare prima.

Things you’d normally say or do with someone else, you can’t dream of saying to him as he’d be crushed under the tiniest criticism.

To say that being with him is draining is the understatement of the century. Tell me I’m wrong?

Vedi anche: 5 scuse che dovreste smettere di usare per rimanere in una relazione tossica

He can’t keep anyone’s attention.

Furthermore, he’s jealous of his male friends for being able to hold conversations without anyone rolling eyes at them.

Il poveretto inizia una conversazione e a metà strada dimentica il filo del discorso. Questo, a sua volta, fa sì che le persone non vogliano impegnarsi in alcun tipo di comunicazione con lui.

Come potrebbero? Finisce sempre per essere imbarazzante, scomodo e profondamente inutile. E poi chi lo vuole?

Ha bisogno di continue conferme su tutto ciò che fa.

This is one of my least favorite qualities in a person. It’s fine if, sometimes, you’re unsure about doing something and seek a loved one’s validation.

But, constantly depending on others to tell you that you’re doing okay and steer you in the right direction is just annoying.

Alzati! Prendete una decisione e rispettatela. Iniziate una conversazione e concludetela con una nota significativa.

Needing constant confirmation is a quality of a sad, insecure man who doesn’t even want to get better.

Ti sbatte in faccia i suoi successi e le sue capacità.

Now, we’re getting to some of the nastiest qualities of men with low self-esteem. They are exceedingly self-important, which makes them gloat over any accomplishment.

Even if you’re experiencing a particularly rough period, instead of consoling you and being sensitive to your feelings, he’ll blatantly blurt out how great things have been going for him.

Lo so, un vero cazzone. Si nutrono dei tuoi momenti più bassi, soprattutto quando coincidono con i suoi momenti più alti. Questo è il suo anno.

È un perdente incallito.

Oh, yeah. Have I mentioned what a sore, sore loser he is? He can’t stand the idea of someone being better than him.

Whether it’s a board game, real-life, or a work event, if he’s not the center of attention for being the best, he’ll be furious.

I bet that’s not a pretty picture (to say the least). I’ve been with a man of this sort, and I fully get how emotionally immature and self-absorbed they are.

They take everything way too seriously, almost as if it’s all a matter of life or death. (Divertente, vero?)

When you don’t give him attention, he demands it anyway.

He’s a jerk like that. It doesn’t matter that you have a job, responsibilities, and days when you don’t feel your best.

Se vuole la vostra attenzione, he has to get it. It’s almost as if your purpose is to be his constant cheerleader. Now, don’t get me wrong.

It’s super important to push each other in relationships, but never at the cost of your partner’s feelings.

You must have some boundaries; otherwise, it’s a one-man show, and that’s the opposite of what a healthy relationship is.

È geloso, possessivo e controllante.

If he doesn’t hear from you for a short bit, he stalks your social media to find out where you are.

Pretende di sapere sempre dove vi trovate e cerca di impedirvi di andare da qualche parte.

If you have male friends, he’s likely beyond jealous and suspicious, even though you’ve never given him a reason to be.

He accuses you of all kinds of things when you’ve done nothing wrong, and oftentimes, you’re the one apologizing for his mess-ups.

La sua natura di controllore sta sfuggendo di mano.

Vedi anche: Comportamento controllante: Segni, cause e come affrontarlo

He pressures you into things you’re not comfortable with.

If you’re not in the mood for some fun under the sheets, he emotionally blackmails you into doing it. I mean, who does that?

You’re perfectly within your right to say no, but the thing is, he doesn’t believe that’s the case. He probably hits you with something like: “If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t be denying me this.”

Now, let me tell you something about guys like that. They’re self-entitled pricks who don’t care about you one bit.

All your man cares about is having his needs met without giving a rat’s ass about how that might affect you.

Continua a dire di non essere degno di te.

This might sound innocent, but let me assure you that it’s not. He only goes on about you being “too good” for him in order to soften you up for when he acts the way he shouldn’t.

With this in mind, you’ll be more inclined to look through his BS, knowing how much he supposedly cherishes you.

Hopefully, now, you won’t fall for that. He emotionally manipulates you in order to always get what he wants. To him, love is a game, and he’s a really good player.

He might have low self-esteem, but that doesn’t stop him from taking you down with him. Here’s an idea, don’t let him!

He relishes other people’s failures.

Oh, how he enjoys other people’s failures. He might pretend that he doesn’t, but trust me, it makes him feel empowered.

Poiché lotta con la sensazione di essere inadeguato, prova un sollievo immediato quando qualcuno fallisce in qualcosa. Invece di essere un essere umano normale e di sostenere i suoi cari nelle difficoltà, si nutre di loro.

This is a twisted man who’ll never be able to be happy for your success. The more you advance in all areas of life, the less it’ll make him feel like a man.

In that sense, he’s an old-fashioned man. According to him, your place is probably in the kitchen and taking care of the family while he brings home the bacon.

Please, remind him that it’s 2020 and that sort of thinking is extremely dated and unwelcome!

He’s a lousy support system during critical moments.

When a man feels that his self-inflicted issues trump your well-deserved happiness, that’s your sign of trouble.

Yes, relationships are 50:50, but you’re supposed to lift each other, NOT tear each other down. When you need a good support system, he doesn’t get a free pass for being overly self-deprecating.

Il suo requisito come partner è quello di amarvi, sostenervi e mettervi al primo posto. Se non potete contare sul vostro compagno di vita per questo, quanto pensate che questo sia di buon auspicio per la vostra relazione?

Honestly, I’m certain that you’ve started to put two and two together. While having high self-esteem at all times is challenging, the bad days should never outnumber the good ones.

Go get yourself a guy who’ll treat you like the queen that you are. We all have our issues and that’s perfectly fine.

Ma doversi preoccupare costantemente di camminare su gusci d'uovo con la persona che si ama è un lavoro duro. Chiedetevi questo: Ne vale veramente la pena?

Vedi anche: 5 segni di mascolinità tossica nel vostro uomo

8 modi in cui i suoi problemi di autostima danneggiano il vostro benessere

This is how men with low self-esteem affect their loved ones. You get so used to being in a toxic environment that you don’t stop to consider these damaging effects.

Ti fa diffidare dall'avvicinarti a qualcuno.

Stare con un uomo che lotta internamente può lasciare un segno in una donna. Per prima cosa, inizia lentamente a farvi temere di avvicinarvi a qualcuno di nuovo.

You may have been an open, genuine, wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve type of person, but with time, you’ll realize how much being with him has changed you.

His constant negativity and self-deprecation rub off on you every day and turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

The experience you’ve had with him makes you wary of encountering someone like him again, which is why you stare lontano da qualsiasi nuova relazione significativa.

Sviluppate una visione pessimistica della vita.

Come il segno qui sopra, la vostra personalità allegra e spensierata prima di conoscerlo si è trasformata in polvere. Ve ne siete già accorti?

You no longer smile as much as you used to and it’s becoming harder and harder to find a glimmer of hope in negative situations.

Una volta eri un raggio di sole, ma ora tutto è cambiato.

You’re used to being around someone who can be best described as an energy vampire, and that chips away at your happiness one day at a time.

It never happens overnight. You just wake up one day and realize that you’re just a shell of the woman you used to be.

You forget what it’s like to be genuinely happy.

I don’t like to be cheesy, but I’m guessing that you feel as if a dark rain cloud follows you wherever you go. Am I close?

This isn’t surprising, as you become like the company you keep (in this case, toxic and unhealthy). Your positivity cannot survive constant negativity.

Per quanto si cerchi di cambiare questa persona, con il tempo ci si rende conto che lui è cambiato voi… unfortunately for the worst.

There’s good news, though. It doesn’t have to stay that way. You can go back to being the woman you used to be. All you have to do is do what’s right for YOU.

Vedi anche: Una guida di sopravvivenza in 16 passi attraverso il disgusto di se stessi

Rovina l'autostima.

Improvvisamente, la vostra autostima è fuori dalla porta. La donna che poteva conquistare il mondo (o almeno credeva di poterlo fare) non sente più di poter conquistare la giornata.

Believe me, I’ve been there. I’m usually as happy as they come. Even when I bite off more than I can chew, I never let it overwhelm me.

I know I’ll always find a way.

But, being constantly plagued by a man’s lack of self-confidence, bordering with toxicity, really takes a toll on you. What used to feel like a welcomed challenge now is a burdensome task.

There’s no room for you to grow.

In this type of environment, you’re never able to put yourself first. Your well-being is always on the back burner.

Stare con lui è tutto incentrato su di lui e sui suoi bisogni. In tutto questo caos, trascurate di prendervi cura di voi stesse.

You neglect to ask yourself how you are. And, the worst thing is, you don’t even stop to think how messed up that is.

This is why it’s so important to distance yourself from anyone who takes so much more than they give. Your well-being isn’t something to be taken lightly.

When you’re suffocated by his constant dysfunction, ask yourself how long it will be before it completely consumes you.

Si è svuotati emotivamente.

Alzarsi dal letto diventa una fatica. Non si prepara più la colazione con il sorriso sulle labbra. Ascoltare il proprio best friend’s il dramma delle relazioni diventa eccessivo.

It’s kind of scary how incapable you start to feel after having been with him for so long. It’s like you’re no longer you.

What used to be breezy and relaxing is now very burdensome. And, I’m guessing you’re starting to understand why.

The company you keep is rubbing off on you, and one day at a time, you’re becoming more and more drained.

Vedi anche: 7 motivi per cui attirate uomini emotivamente danneggiati

Si inizia a confondere il comportamento tossico come normale.

Bisogna fare attenzione a questo aspetto. Dopo qualche tempo, essere circondati dalla tossicità diventerà la nuova norma.

You never see these things coming. You always believe that you’d never allow such a thing to happen until one day, you realize that it already has.

You start tolerating things you’d never normally put up with. Him being a jerk no longer irks you, as he’s rarely the guy you met all those years ago, which is very sad.

Ora lo si sfiora, magari sorridendo, pensando che potrebbe andare molto peggio, e si continua la giornata.

La salute mentale e fisica ne risente.

You’re probably aware that toxic relationships can harm your mental health. But, what you probably don’t è che possono essere dannosi anche per la salute fisica.

It’s widely believed that toxic relationships can lead to serious heart issues, significantly increase your blood-sugar levels and take a toll on your entire immune system.

Have you been experiencing fatigue lately? How about low energy levels combined with feelings of anxiety? If so, this is likely connected to your unhealthy relationship… more precisely, your partner.

Come sostenere un uomo con problemi paralizzanti di autostima

If you believe that your partner is worth the fight, then here’s how you can support him on his road to recovery. These steps might

aiutarlo a smettere di sabotare la vostra relazione.

Temperate la vostra rabbia prima di affrontarlo.

After carefully having gone through my above points, I genuinely hope that you’ve given your situation some serious thought.

I don’t want you to take this lightly or feel as if you’re forced to look the other way while he’s off the hook for basically being a brat.

BUT, if you genuinely believe that he’s a good person, and there’s hope for him, I’m rooting for you.

La prima cosa da fare prima di affrontarlo è questa: Moderare la rabbia. Non bisogna mai entrare in gioco con un intento malevolo.

If you’re adamant about talking things through, then you have to approach it with a cool head and a hope of meeting him halfway. If you don’t think you’re ready for this, wait it out.

Not until you’re calm and collected should you have this type of conversation with him. You should be aware that this won’t be an easy task, and that’s why being in a good headspace is vital.

Remember that you’re trying to point out his flaws, and people are generally not receptive to this. Fortunatamente, voi lo conoscete meglio di tutti, per cui l'approccio migliore dovrebbe essere abbastanza semplice.

Vedi anche: 8 tipi di uomini da evitare a tutti i costi nel 2021

Mantenete i complimenti realistici e genuini.

Percepirà le false parole di incoraggiamento che gli arriveranno, quindi rimanete sempre sinceri quando gli parlate.

Don’t throw compliments his way that you don’t mean. That’s just wrong. My mantra has always been: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.

Vi incoraggio a trovare un lato positivo di lui e a fargli i complimenti. Ad esempio, forse vi porta la colazione a letto ogni mattina.

Oppure, magari si assicura di accompagnare i bambini a scuola in modo che voi possiate arrivare al lavoro in tempo.

Whichever kind thing he does regularly, thank him for it. Why? Because it’ll make him feel seen, and most importantly, appreciated.

Also, it’ll soften him up for the tough conversation.

You don’t want to go into the whole thing with guns blazing. When he hears a real compliment that he knows is from the heart, he’ll be more likely to level with you and consider what you’re saying.

Convalidate i suoi sentimenti e fatelo sentire ascoltato.

A volte, egli volontà have a point. At the end of the day, it’s not like he chose to be like this, so when you sense that he’s struggling, don’t dismiss it right off the bat.

Instead, sit down with him and ask him to tell you how he’s feeling. Potrebbe essere interessante sapere cosa scatena la sua ansia, nel senso che potreste aiutarlo a superarla.

As long as he feels heard, that’s a step in the right direction. His feelings matter, too, and if you’re certain that there’s hope for your relationship, then you have to validate them.

He’ll struggle just like you will. He’ll have bad days, and he’ll need to know that you’re in his corner.

While there’s no one forcing you to stay around, if you fare scegliere, allora tanto vale recitare la parte.

Try to understand where he’s coming from even when it’s hard.

Perché si comporta in un certo modo? Perché oggi è particolarmente cattivo quando ieri era l'uomo più dolce del mondo?

There’s a reason behind his actions. You just have to dig deep enough to get to the bottom of it. He doesn’t just wake up and decide to be an asshole.

Succede qualcosa (internamente o esternamente) che lo fa irrigidire e che lui proietta su di voi.

Now, if you’re sure that you want to go through this, then it’s on you to uncover what that is.

A volte può trattarsi di qualcosa di innocente come un commento negativo da parte di un familiare o un migliore amico. Potrebbero aver ferito i suoi sentimenti (accidentalmente) e lui l'ha presa male.

Maybe there was an incident at work for which he felt personally responsible, and it stayed with him throughout the day. Men with low self-esteem don’t handle criticism well.

Try to be understanding toward it and possibly even help him get over it. It’s going to be hard, but if he’s worth the struggle, then give it your best shot and try to make it work.

Vedi anche: Alla ragazza che ha bisogno di smettere di cercare di salvare le persone tossiche

Aiutatelo a trovare una nuova prospettiva (positiva).

Having a negative perspective is no way to start the day, but that’s pretty much your man’s reality. For him, things are always bleak, and he rarely sees the positive side to anything.

He goes through the day expecting the worst, and most likely, living it. But, the thing is, so often, all it takes to feel better is changing your mindset. I’m sure you know that this is true.

I’ve been through so many situations where my negative mindset made me believe that things were MUCH worse than they were.

Now, I’m in no way diminishing your (or my) issues.

All I’m trying to point out is that finding a positive perspective to particular situations does make a difference!

Aiutate il vostro uomo a ritrovare il ritmo mostrandogli il lato positivo dei suoi pensieri cupi. Dimostrategli che ha qualcosa per cui vivere quando una piccola disgrazia lo travolge.

It’s anything but uncommon that we all get lost in our negativity sometimes. But, that’s where our persone care come in. They’re here to show us that it’s not that bad.

And, in all seriousness, that’s the beauty of relationships… showing each other the good side of life when negativity prevails.

Preparatevi alla sua difensiva.

Try to tell him that as a twenty-something-year-old (especially if he’s older), it’s time to start acting according to his age.

You don’t expect him to be magically cured overnight, but it’s time for him to start acting his age.

In quello che può essere descritto come un ultimo tentativo di salvare la vostra relazione, offritegli aiuto, essendo pienamente preparati alla sua difensiva.

At first, he’ll be unwilling to admit that what you’re saying is true. Even though you’ve recognized him in all of the above signs of low self-esteem, he’ll try to make it sound like you’re exaggerating.

In a way, it’s understandable. As I’ve already mentioned, people are not exactly receptive to criticism. Defensiveness comes naturally, but if he cares about your relationship, he’ll hear you out.

What matters here is that you know what to expect… denial and defensiveness. Try to work through it and get past it.

If this turns out to be a battle that you just can’t seem to win, then consider my final advice below before cutting ties.

Sarebbe triste concludere le cose con una nota negativa, ma dopo averci provato così tanto, cos'altro c'è da fare?

Spiegate razionalmente in che modo il suo comportamento vi sta influenzando.

While you can try to help him all you want, if he’s not ready to receive any help, the fight might be futile.

Cercate di spiegare ragionevolmente in che modo il suo comportamento sta influenzando voi e la vostra relazione. Fategli provare quello che provate voi quando si parla dei suoi problemi di autostima.

This is not about putting him in his place or victimizing yourself. It’s about trying to explain to him that if he’s unwilling to change, then you’re unwilling to stay there and put up with it.

Non tollererete più il suo comportamento autoironico e il modo in cui lo proietta su di voi. Meritate di stare con qualcuno che incoraggi l'autostima, non che la sminuisca.

The last thing he could try is professional help. This is beyond a dating coach’s expertise. Let him work on his issues with a licensed professional and see what happens.

It’s time for you to focus on self-care and put your needs first. When you give it your best, but it’s still not enough, then consider throwing in the towel.

Vedi anche: 4 frasi che gli uomini tossici dicono per farti sentire in trappola

What If Your Support Doesn’t Seem To Be Enough?

Unfortunately, men with low self-esteem struggle with deeply rooted issues that sometimes can’t be helped.

Può trattarsi di qualsiasi cosa, da un'educazione difficile, a relazioni tossiche, o a qualsiasi tipo di violenza verbale o di abuso emotivo che li ha lasciati segnati (forse per tutta la vita).

As a romantic partner, it’s difficult and challenging to deal with such a thing every day. This is why it’s important to reevaluate your relationships and see whether the cons outweigh the pros.

No matter how much you want to help your man, if it’s at your expense, it’s just not worth it.

You’ve tried and tried, given it your all, and spent a significant portion of your life in an attempt to revive the self-esteem of a man who doesn’t want to be helped.

I’ve shared some of the best tips on how to approach this type of behavior in the hopes of getting through to him. But, if that doesn’t help, then it’s time to start looking out for yourself.

Vi meritate molto di più di un ragazzo la cui negatività vi butta costantemente giù. Imparate a Mettete voi stessi al primo posto and don’t feel bad about it for a second.

Mettete l'amore per voi stessi al di sopra di tutto. Nel momento in cui mettete i vostri bisogni al primo posto, lasciare un ambiente tossico sarà un gioco da ragazzi.

Vedi anche: Come iniziare ad amare se stessi in 10 modi rivoluzionari