15 datos inquietantes sobre los hombres con baja autoestima

Tratar con hombres que tienen baja autoestima no es tarea fácil. Estar cerca de una persona con la autoestima comprometida y que necesita validación constante puede hacer mella en la persona más dura.

Respóndeme a esto: ¿La hombre que amas lucha con su propio valor y amor propio? ¿Tiene pensamientos negativos, una imagen corporal distorsionada y recurre a menudo al humor autodespreciativo?

If so, then you’re dealing with a man who has severe signs of low self-esteem. This type of person has a completely twisted sense of self, and being with him cannot lead to a healthy relationship.

Por desgracia, se sabe que las mujeres aguantan este tipo de comportamiento con demasiada frecuencia.

But, having your every day ruined by your partner’s lack of self-confidence, which is chipping away at your healthy self-esteem is wrong!

Estar en una relación a largo plazo con un hombre que tiene baja autoestima puede obstaculizar tu crecimiento y afectar a tu salud mental.

It’s important to pay attention to the red flags your partner exhibits and romper antes de que las cosas vayan demasiado lejos.

Los hombres con baja autoestima pueden parecer inofensivos, pero con el tiempo, su comportamiento puede rozar el abuso y el control.

If you’re unsure whether he has self-esteem issues, I’ll shed some light on the matter. It’s time to put your own life first.

If you realize that you’re in a relación tóxicavete. En la remota posibilidad de que su hombre puede siga leyendo para saber cómo hacerlo con cuidado.

Whatever your next step is, please make sure that it’s in your favor.

Véase también: 4 diferencias entre una conexión genuina y un apego tóxico

Señales alarmantes de hombres con baja autoestima

Let’s examine how a human being with self-esteem issues behaves in (and outside) his relationship.

Si reconoce a su pareja a través de estas señales, entonces considere cuidadosamente su próximo curso de acción.

Reacciona mal a las críticas constructivas.

Uno de los mayores signos de baja autoestima es su incapacidad para aceptar cualquier tipo de crítica. Cada vez que intentas señalarle algo que puede no gustarle, se lo toma como algo personal.

Everything is an attack and there is no reasoning with him. Even if you’re attempting to talk about these precise issues, he’ll accuse you of constantly picking fights.

Cuando alguien tiene problemas internos, tiende a proyectar sus miedos e inseguridades en sus seres queridos.

Entiendo que te escueza, pero nunca debes tomártelo como algo personal. Su comportamiento se debe a problemas que muy probablemente preceden a vuestra relación.

He often “jokingly” puts you down.

Oftentimes, this happens in front of your female friends. He insists that it’s a mere joke and you shouldn’t take it personally.

But, how could you not? He’s the man you love and the main cause of your stress and anxiety, but remember, when he puts you down, it’s not really about you. He’s just making up for his lack of self-confidence.

When a person with low self-esteem puts you down, it’s because of their feelings of not being good enough.

He’s emotionally very needy, which often becomes draining.

This one shouldn’t come as a surprise. As someone with severe self-esteem issues, it would be surprising if this wasn’t the case. Let me guess. He constantly craves attention.

Probablemente tengas que prestar más atención a tus sentimientos, algo que nunca habías tenido que hacer antes.

Things you’d normally say or do with someone else, you can’t dream of saying to him as he’d be crushed under the tiniest criticism.

To say that being with him is draining is the understatement of the century. Tell me I’m wrong?

Véase también: 5 excusas que deberías dejar de usar para seguir en una relación tóxica

He can’t keep anyone’s attention.

Furthermore, he’s jealous of his male friends for being able to hold conversations without anyone rolling eyes at them.

El pobre hombre empieza una conversación y, a mitad de camino, olvida su hilo de pensamiento. Esto, a su vez, hace que la gente no quiera entablar ningún tipo de comunicación con él.

¿Cómo podrían? Siempre acaba siendo incómodo y profundamente innecesario. ¿Y quién quiere eso?

Necesita validación constante sobre todo lo que hace.

This is one of my least favorite qualities in a person. It’s fine if, sometimes, you’re unsure about doing something and seek a loved one’s validation.

But, constantly depending on others to tell you that you’re doing okay and steer you in the right direction is just annoying.

¡Arriba! Toma una decisión y cúmplela. Inicia una conversación y termínala con una nota significativa.

Needing constant confirmation is a quality of a sad, insecure man who doesn’t even want to get better.

Te echa en cara sus logros y habilidades.

Now, we’re getting to some of the nastiest qualities of men with low self-esteem. They are exceedingly self-important, which makes them gloat over any accomplishment.

Even if you’re experiencing a particularly rough period, instead of consoling you and being sensitive to your feelings, he’ll blatantly blurt out how great things have been going for him.

Lo sé, gilipollas total. Se dan un festín con tus puntos bajos, especialmente cuando coinciden con sus puntos altos. Eso hace su año.

Es un mal perdedor.

Oh, yeah. Have I mentioned what a sore, sore loser he is? He can’t stand the idea of someone being better than him.

Whether it’s a board game, real-life, or a work event, if he’s not the center of attention for being the best, he’ll be furious.

I bet that’s not a pretty picture (to say the least). I’ve been with a man of this sort, and I fully get how emotionally immature and self-absorbed they are.

They take everything way too seriously, almost as if it’s all a matter of life or death. (Divertido, ¿verdad?)

When you don’t give him attention, he demands it anyway.

He’s a jerk like that. It doesn’t matter that you have a job, responsibilities, and days when you don’t feel your best.

Si quiere tu atención, he has to get it. It’s almost as if your purpose is to be his constant cheerleader. Now, don’t get me wrong.

It’s super important to push each other in relationships, but never at the cost of your partner’s feelings.

You must have some boundaries; otherwise, it’s a one-man show, and that’s the opposite of what a healthy relationship is.

Es celoso, posesivo y controlador.

If he doesn’t hear from you for a short bit, he stalks your social media to find out where you are.

Exige conocer tu paradero en todo momento e intenta prohibirte que vayas a algún sitio.

If you have male friends, he’s likely beyond jealous and suspicious, even though you’ve never given him a reason to be.

He accuses you of all kinds of things when you’ve done nothing wrong, and oftentimes, you’re the one apologizing for his mess-ups.

Su naturaleza controladora se le está yendo de las manos.

Véase también: Comportamiento controlador: Signos, causas y cómo afrontarlo

He pressures you into things you’re not comfortable with.

If you’re not in the mood for some fun under the sheets, he emotionally blackmails you into doing it. I mean, who does that?

You’re perfectly within your right to say no, but the thing is, he doesn’t believe that’s the case. He probably hits you with something like: “If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t be denying me this.”

Now, let me tell you something about guys like that. They’re self-entitled pricks who don’t care about you one bit.

All your man cares about is having his needs met without giving a rat’s ass about how that might affect you.

Siempre está diciendo que no es digno de ti.

This might sound innocent, but let me assure you that it’s not. He only goes on about you being “too good” for him in order to soften you up for when he acts the way he shouldn’t.

With this in mind, you’ll be more inclined to look through his BS, knowing how much he supposedly cherishes you.

Hopefully, now, you won’t fall for that. He emotionally manipulates you in order to always get what he wants. To him, love is a game, and he’s a really good player.

He might have low self-esteem, but that doesn’t stop him from taking you down with him. Here’s an idea, don’t let him!

He relishes other people’s failures.

Oh, how he enjoys other people’s failures. He might pretend that he doesn’t, but trust me, it makes him feel empowered.

Como lucha contra la sensación de ser inadecuado, siente un alivio instantáneo cuando alguien fracasa en algo. En lugar de ser un ser humano normal y apoyar a sus seres queridos en las dificultades, se alimenta de ellos.

This is a twisted man who’ll never be able to be happy for your success. The more you advance in all areas of life, the less it’ll make him feel like a man.

In that sense, he’s an old-fashioned man. According to him, your place is probably in the kitchen and taking care of the family while he brings home the bacon.

Please, remind him that it’s 2020 and that sort of thinking is extremely dated and unwelcome!

He’s a lousy support system during critical moments.

When a man feels that his self-inflicted issues trump your well-deserved happiness, that’s your sign of trouble.

Yes, relationships are 50:50, but you’re supposed to lift each other, NOT tear each other down. When you need a good support system, he doesn’t get a free pass for being overly self-deprecating.

Su requisito como compañero es amarte, apoyarte y ponerte en primer lugar. Si usted no puede depender de su compañero de vida para eso, ¿qué tan bien cree que eso es un buen augurio para su relación?

Honestly, I’m certain that you’ve started to put two and two together. While having high self-esteem at all times is challenging, the bad days should never outnumber the good ones.

Go get yourself a guy who’ll treat you like the queen that you are. We all have our issues and that’s perfectly fine.

Pero tener que preocuparse constantemente de andar con pies de plomo con la persona que amas es un trabajo duro. Pregúntate lo siguiente: ¿Realmente merece la pena?

Véase también: 5 señales de masculinidad tóxica en tu hombre

8 maneras en que sus problemas de autoestima dañan tu bienestar

This is how men with low self-esteem affect their loved ones. You get so used to being in a toxic environment that you don’t stop to consider these damaging effects.

Te hace desconfiar de acercarte a alguien.

Estar con un hombre que lucha internamente puede dejar huella en una mujer. Por un lado, poco a poco empieza a temer acercarse a alguien nuevo.

You may have been an open, genuine, wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve type of person, but with time, you’ll realize how much being with him has changed you.

His constant negativity and self-deprecation rub off on you every day and turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

The experience you’ve had with him makes you wary of encountering someone like him again, which is why you mantente alejado de cualquier nueva relación significativa.

Desarrollas una visión pesimista de la vida.

Al igual que el signo anterior, tu personalidad despreocupada antes de conocerle se ha convertido en polvo. ¿Ya te has dado cuenta?

You no longer smile as much as you used to and it’s becoming harder and harder to find a glimmer of hope in negative situations.

Solías ser un rayo de sol, pero ahora, todo eso ha cambiado.

You’re used to being around someone who can be best described as an energy vampire, and that chips away at your happiness one day at a time.

It never happens overnight. You just wake up one day and realize that you’re just a shell of the woman you used to be.

You forget what it’s like to be genuinely happy.

I don’t like to be cheesy, but I’m guessing that you feel as if a dark rain cloud follows you wherever you go. Am I close?

This isn’t surprising, as you become like the company you keep (in this case, toxic and unhealthy). Your positivity cannot survive constant negativity.

Por mucho que intentes cambiar a esta persona, con el tiempo, te das cuenta de que he ha cambiado usted… unfortunately for the worst.

There’s good news, though. It doesn’t have to stay that way. You can go back to being the woman you used to be. All you have to do is do what’s right for YOU.

Véase también: Guía de supervivencia en 16 pasos contra el autodesprecio

Arruina tu autoestima.

De repente, su autoestima sale por la puerta. La mujer que podía conquistar el mundo (o al menos creía que podía) ya no siente que puede conquistar el día.

Believe me, I’ve been there. I’m usually as happy as they come. Even when I bite off more than I can chew, I never let it overwhelm me.

I know I’ll always find a way.

But, being constantly plagued by a man’s lack of self-confidence, bordering with toxicity, really takes a toll on you. What used to feel like a welcomed challenge now is a burdensome task.

There’s no room for you to grow.

In this type of environment, you’re never able to put yourself first. Your well-being is always on the back burner.

Estar con él gira en torno a él y a sus necesidades. En todo ese caos, te olvidas de cuidar de ti misma.

You neglect to ask yourself how you are. And, the worst thing is, you don’t even stop to think how messed up that is.

This is why it’s so important to distance yourself from anyone who takes so much more than they give. Your well-being isn’t something to be taken lightly.

When you’re suffocated by his constant dysfunction, ask yourself how long it will be before it completely consumes you.

Te agotas emocionalmente.

Levantarse de la cama se convierte en una tarea pesada. Ya no preparas el desayuno con una sonrisa en la cara. Escuchar a su best friend’s el drama de la relación se vuelve demasiado.

It’s kind of scary how incapable you start to feel after having been with him for so long. It’s like you’re no longer you.

What used to be breezy and relaxing is now very burdensome. And, I’m guessing you’re starting to understand why.

The company you keep is rubbing off on you, and one day at a time, you’re becoming more and more drained.

Véase también: 7 razones por las que atraes a hombres emocionalmente dañados

Empiezas a confundir el comportamiento tóxico como normal.

Hay que tener cuidado con esto. Después de algún tiempo, estar rodeado de toxicidad se convertirá en la nueva norma.

You never see these things coming. You always believe that you’d never allow such a thing to happen until one day, you realize that it already has.

You start tolerating things you’d never normally put up with. Him being a jerk no longer irks you, as he’s rarely the guy you met all those years ago, which is very sad.

Ahora, te lo quitas de encima, tal vez incluso sonríes, pensando que podría ser mucho peor, y continúas con tu día.

Su salud mental y física se ve afectada.

You’re probably aware that toxic relationships can harm your mental health. But, what you probably don’t saber es que también pueden ser perjudiciales para su salud física.

It’s widely believed that toxic relationships can lead to serious heart issues, significantly increase your blood-sugar levels and take a toll on your entire immune system.

Have you been experiencing fatigue lately? How about low energy levels combined with feelings of anxiety? If so, this is likely connected to your unhealthy relationship… more precisely, your partner.

Cómo ayudar a un hombre con problemas de autoestima

If you believe that your partner is worth the fight, then here’s how you can support him on his road to recovery. These steps might

ayúdale a dejar de sabotear vuestra relación.

Atempera tu ira antes de enfrentarte a él.

After carefully having gone through my above points, I genuinely hope that you’ve given your situation some serious thought.

I don’t want you to take this lightly or feel as if you’re forced to look the other way while he’s off the hook for basically being a brat.

BUT, if you genuinely believe that he’s a good person, and there’s hope for him, I’m rooting for you.

Lo primero que debes hacer antes de enfrentarte a él es lo siguiente: Templa tu ira. Nunca lo hagas con mala intención.

If you’re adamant about talking things through, then you have to approach it with a cool head and a hope of meeting him halfway. If you don’t think you’re ready for this, wait it out.

Not until you’re calm and collected should you have this type of conversation with him. You should be aware that this won’t be an easy task, and that’s why being in a good headspace is vital.

Remember that you’re trying to point out his flaws, and people are generally not receptive to this. Por suerte, tú eres quien mejor le conoce, así que determinar el mejor enfoque debería ser bastante sencillo.

Véase también: 8 tipos de hombres que deberías evitar a toda costa en 2021

Los cumplidos deben ser realistas y auténticos.

Percibirá cualquier falsa palabra de ánimo que se le dirija, así que sea siempre sincero cuando hable con él.

Don’t throw compliments his way that you don’t mean. That’s just wrong. My mantra has always been: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.

Te animo a que encuentres su lado positivo y le felicites por ello. Por ejemplo, puede que te traiga el desayuno a la cama todas las mañanas.

O quizá se asegura de llevar a los niños al colegio para que tú puedas llegar a tiempo al trabajo.

Whichever kind thing he does regularly, thank him for it. Why? Because it’ll make him feel seen, and most importantly, appreciated.

Also, it’ll soften him up for the tough conversation.

You don’t want to go into the whole thing with guns blazing. When he hears a real compliment that he knows is from the heart, he’ll be more likely to level with you and consider what you’re saying.

Valida sus sentimientos y haz que se sienta escuchado.

En ocasiones se have a point. At the end of the day, it’s not like he chose to be like this, so when you sense that he’s struggling, don’t dismiss it right off the bat.

Instead, sit down with him and ask him to tell you how he’s feeling. Podría ser interesante saber qué es lo que desencadena su ansiedad, en el sentido de que podrías ayudarle a superarlo.

As long as he feels heard, that’s a step in the right direction. His feelings matter, too, and if you’re certain that there’s hope for your relationship, then you have to validate them.

He’ll struggle just like you will. He’ll have bad days, and he’ll need to know that you’re in his corner.

While there’s no one forcing you to stay around, if you do elijas hacerlo, entonces será mejor que interpretes el papel.

Try to understand where he’s coming from even when it’s hard.

¿Por qué actúa de una determinada manera? ¿Por qué hoy es especialmente desagradable cuando ayer era el hombre más dulce del mundo?

There’s a reason behind his actions. You just have to dig deep enough to get to the bottom of it. He doesn’t just wake up and decide to be an asshole.

Ocurre algo (interno o externo) que le hace callarse, lo que provoca que lo proyecte en ti.

Now, if you’re sure that you want to go through this, then it’s on you to uncover what that is.

A veces, puede ser algo tan inocente como un comentario negativo de un familiar o un mejor amigo. Puede que hayan herido sus sentimientos (accidentalmente) y se lo haya tomado mal.

Maybe there was an incident at work for which he felt personally responsible, and it stayed with him throughout the day. Men with low self-esteem don’t handle criticism well.

Try to be understanding toward it and possibly even help him get over it. It’s going to be hard, but if he’s worth the struggle, then give it your best shot and try to make it work.

Véase también: A la chica que necesita dejar de intentar salvar a gente tóxica

Ayúdale a encontrar una nueva perspectiva (positiva).

Having a negative perspective is no way to start the day, but that’s pretty much your man’s reality. For him, things are always bleak, and he rarely sees the positive side to anything.

He goes through the day expecting the worst, and most likely, living it. But, the thing is, so often, all it takes to feel better is changing your mindset. I’m sure you know that this is true.

I’ve been through so many situations where my negative mindset made me believe that things were MUCH worse than they were.

Now, I’m in no way diminishing your (or my) issues.

All I’m trying to point out is that finding a positive perspective to particular situations does make a difference!

Ayude a su hombre a recuperar el ánimo mostrándole el lado positivo de sus sombríos pensamientos. Demuéstrale que tiene algo por lo que vivir cuando una pequeña desgracia le abruma.

It’s anything but uncommon that we all get lost in our negativity sometimes. But, that’s where our seres queridos come in. They’re here to show us that it’s not that bad.

And, in all seriousness, that’s the beauty of relationships… showing each other the good side of life when negativity prevails.

Prepárate para su actitud defensiva.

Try to tell him that as a twenty-something-year-old (especially if he’s older), it’s time to start acting according to his age.

You don’t expect him to be magically cured overnight, but it’s time for him to start acting his age.

En lo que puede describirse como un último intento de salvar su relación, ofrézcale ayuda, estando totalmente preparado para su actitud defensiva.

At first, he’ll be unwilling to admit that what you’re saying is true. Even though you’ve recognized him in all of the above signs of low self-esteem, he’ll try to make it sound like you’re exaggerating.

In a way, it’s understandable. As I’ve already mentioned, people are not exactly receptive to criticism. Defensiveness comes naturally, but if he cares about your relationship, he’ll hear you out.

What matters here is that you know what to expect… denial and defensiveness. Try to work through it and get past it.

If this turns out to be a battle that you just can’t seem to win, then consider my final advice below before cutting ties.

Sería triste acabar las cosas con una nota amarga, pero después de esforzarse tanto, ¿qué otra cosa se puede hacer?

Explícale racionalmente cómo te está afectando su comportamiento.

While you can try to help him all you want, if he’s not ready to receive any help, the fight might be futile.

Trate de explicarle razonablemente de qué manera su comportamiento le está afectando a usted y a su relación. Hazle sentir lo que tú sientes en medio de sus problemas de autoestima.

This is not about putting him in his place or victimizing yourself. It’s about trying to explain to him that if he’s unwilling to change, then you’re unwilling to stay there and put up with it.

No tolerarás más su comportamiento autodespreciativo ni la forma en que lo proyecta sobre ti. Te mereces estar con alguien que fomente tu autoestima, no que la disminuya.

The last thing he could try is professional help. This is beyond a dating coach’s expertise. Let him work on his issues with a licensed professional and see what happens.

It’s time for you to focus on self-care and put your needs first. When you give it your best, but it’s still not enough, then consider throwing in the towel.

Véase también: 4 frases que dicen los hombres tóxicos para hacerte sentir atrapada

What If Your Support Doesn’t Seem To Be Enough?

Unfortunately, men with low self-esteem struggle with deeply rooted issues that sometimes can’t be helped.

Puede ser cualquier cosa, desde una educación difícil, relaciones tóxicas o cualquier tipo de agresión verbal o psicológica. abuso emocional que les ha dejado marcados (posiblemente de por vida).

As a romantic partner, it’s difficult and challenging to deal with such a thing every day. This is why it’s important to reevaluate your relationships and see whether the cons outweigh the pros.

No matter how much you want to help your man, if it’s at your expense, it’s just not worth it.

You’ve tried and tried, given it your all, and spent a significant portion of your life in an attempt to revive the self-esteem of a man who doesn’t want to be helped.

I’ve shared some of the best tips on how to approach this type of behavior in the hopes of getting through to him. But, if that doesn’t help, then it’s time to start looking out for yourself.

Te mereces mucho más que un tipo cuya negatividad te deprime constantemente. Aprende a ponte tú primero and don’t feel bad about it for a second.

Pon el amor propio por encima de todo. En el momento en que antepongas tus necesidades, salir de un entorno tóxico será pan comido.

Véase también: Cómo empezar a quererse de 10 formas revolucionarias