Alex was helping me clean the table after dinner and suddenly I felt his hand on my waist. He pinched my muffin top and said I would look way more sexy with a flat tummy. I couldn’t say a word, we had been together for 5 years and I never thought he didn’t like my body.
He noticed something was wrong but then made it even worse:
– “Tight clothes won’t do you any good.” and burst into laughter.
What a jerk! I got mad, he tried saying sorry but I still felt awful. After a while, he made another comment about my weight (in front of our friends!):
– “Look at my girl, she’s fat and she proudly wears it.” He laughed while everyone stared at my blushing face.
I didn’t consider myself fat, I mean I’m not a model or anything but I always thought I was a bit chubby that’s all. I’ve been like that ever since I was a child. My parents thought my healthy appetite and food enthusiasm were adorable, and let me eat as much as I wanted.
After that, I started analyzing my figure in front of the mirror but all I could see was his words all over my body “fat, fat, fat”. Then I recalled how my school friends kept teasing me about my weight.
I also remembered my ex-boyfriend, Brian, who after seven months of our relationship, suddenly said:
“You’re too big”
– “How do you mean “too big”?! I’m just plump!”
– “No babe, I bet you would feel happier if you’d skip that burger.”
I was upset and shocked. I couldn’t believe he thought I needed to lose weight. And he shamed me for my appetite!
At first, I was depressed and fed my sadness with more food. I spent evenings alone in my condo, watching TV over a bucket of chicken nuggets and fries, and refusing to return his calls.
Then one night I answered the phone, even though I was still so hurt and furious, and…
I body-shamed him back
– “Hi Brian. I’ve been thinking about what you said about my size and eating habits. Maybe I’m not that thin, but there are plenty of men who will find my curvy shape very attractive. I don’t know if you noticed, but your beer belly is not that cute either. You should really start going to the gym.
He hung up on me, but I didn’t care. It was over anyway. I grabbed a bag of chips and continued watching the last episode of my favorite TV series.
After rewinding the past fat-shaming experiences, I’ve made a decision – I’m gonna leave Alex.
How I came to love my muffin top
The thing with fat shaming is that it makes people feel so bad that it can cause very serious mental health issues. It can provoke eating disorders, depression, reduced self-esteem, increased cortisol levels, etc. Criticizing someone’s weight is really a bad approach.
If you’ve been fat-shamed, you must first find support within yourself. The first step is to start valuing the primary functions of your body (and aesthetics according to societal norms is not one of them) and be thankful for what it can do for you.
After the breakup, I started seeing a therapist and she helped me to embrace self-love. I learned to love my body as it was and started feeling comfortable with all my curves and my muffin top. I enjoyed my tight pants and wouldn’t let anyone make me feel ashamed of my body.
Soon after, I met Jason and he really enjoyed sliding his fingers over my soft round edges, and he still does!
If you’re feeling down as someone has fat-shamed you, always remember the quote from Eat Pray Love:
“..so this is what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna finish this pizza and then we’re gonna go watch the soccer game and tomorrow we’re gonna go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.”
Watch the full scene: