Being a stepmom is a role not every woman is capable of fulfilling.
If you want to take this role, you need to be ready for it, both mentally and physically.
Because once you accept it, there’s no going back.
You can’t enter someone’s life and simply get out because you don’t like it.
You can’t make someone love you and then disappear.
That’s why you need to think about entering this kind of relationship.
You need to accept the fact that you will always be under the lens.
You’ll always be the one who is expected to solve problems and douse fires.
My dear, you’ll always be a peacemaker.
And no matter if you are doing your part well or not, you’ll be exhausted.
And that will last until you learn to organize everything properly.
And that’s not all.
Here are some truths of being a stepmom that you might have forgotten.
I’m here to show you once more what your life will turn into after you accept taking care of kids who aren’t yours.
So, I’m asking you– are you ready for this?
You’ll constantly overthink whether you are giving your best
When you get into a game you have never played before, you’ll have to think of rules you haven’t yet used.
You’ll be with the man who is your whole world and be happy.
But that same man will have someone else who is his world besides you.
And that is something you can’t beat.
His love for his kids will always be stronger than his love for you.
And even if you get along well with his kids and see that they like you, you’ll overthink a lot.
You will wonder about what might happen if they get up tomorrow and tell you they don’t love you anymore.
So many bad thoughts will keep racing in your head, but it will happen because you care.
You want everything to be perfect and it’ll mean a lot to you if your husband sees your effort and the kids show you they are happy.
You don’t want to mix in the relationship of your husband and his ex
What your husband and his ex have, is their thing.
You don’t want to mix in their decisions and you don’t want to make their rules.
If you try to do it, you’ll get hurt.
That’s why it’s better to leave them alone so they can talk and decide what’s best for the kids.
In the end, you all have the same goal – to ensure the kids’ happiness.
You want to be happy in your new relationship and you want the kids to accept you.
That is a long process but one worth taking.
You can’t imagine how much love exists in those little human beings.
But if you give them all you got, you’ll find out.
You’ll need some time to start loving your stepkids
Since you just started something new with kids who aren’t yours, it’s normal that you’ll need some time.
Those kids are currently going through a painful period because their parents got divorced and their dad has a new wife.
No matter how young or old they are, they’ll need some time to accept it.
So, give them that, but don’t forget to give time to yourself as well.
It’s normal that feelings won’t be so intense at the beginning, but as time passes, you could become each other’s best friend.
The most important thing is mutual respect and that you wish for success.
Everything else will come naturally.
Sometimes your stepkids will be hard to handle
If your stepkids are small, you’ll have your hands full – cleaning, preparing them for kindergarten, ironing and washing all the time.
You’ll barely have time for yourself. It will be a completely new lifestyle from the one you used to run before.
It’s be a new role you’ll have to play perfectly well.
And that is where the pressure attacks.
You’ll sometimes feel like you are giving too much but not getting anything in return.
It can become hard because you want to let someone know how you suffer and what kind of problems you have, but nobody’s there.
You can’t say anything about it to your husband and if you tell your friends, they’re bound to tell you that it was your decision.
During those days, just be strong and know it won’t last forever.
And trust me, it will all pay off one day.
You’ll want it all to be perfect, but that’s pretty tough
When you’re a stepmom, you want to have everything under control.
But it’s sometimes hard to organize it all for it to work as you want it. A happy husband and stepkids that love you all the time is something that’s hard to get.
People go through different changes and those changes affect you.
So, it’s okay if you sometimes give yourself a break.
It’s okay to stop for a second and breathe.
It’s totally all right to think about yourself and put your happiness first.
That is not selfish. It’s something you need to feel alive.
You’re already in a situation many women couldn’t stand and you’re doing just fine.
Please remember that.
No matter what you do, you’ll never be their mom
Your stepkids may have a great relationship with you, but at the end of the day, when they need advice, they’ll turn to their biological mother.
And that’s something that shouldn’t surprise you.
You would do the same thing.
In the end, you’d want your kids to do the same if they were in the same situation, right?
That’s why you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff.
All that you’re doing for your stepkids is enough.
All the love, affection, and care you’re providing them with is amazing and you should continue doing so.
I know you’ll never be their mom, but who says you can’t be their best friend.
Don’t care about what others say
People will always talk. Period. But you know what?
You shouldn’t even care about what they’re saying.
There will always be those who’ll judge you for accepting this kind of lifestyle, but it’s your life and if it makes you happy and fulfilled, just bring it on.
I know that those comments may sometimes hurt, but just hold your head high and live the life you want.
Don’t feel bad because someone can’t see how great it is to be a mom to kids you haven’t birthed.
Just enjoy your new role and don’t try to satisfy people who don’t like you anyway.
Instead, use that energy to improve your life and strike a balance in your new family.
That will mean so much to you and you’ll finally be happy for getting the credit for all the great things you’ve done.