“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.” ― Max Ehrmann
People say that we should treat others the way we want to be treated, but I say it should be vice versa.
You should treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.
In other words, be gentle with yourself because that’s how you teach people how they should treat you.
A question we should all ask ourselves is, would we still hang out with our friends if they treated us the same as we treat ourselves?
Are you proud of how you treat yourself? Are you always your priority?
If you aren’t, you should definitely change that because it is vital for your own well-being.
We are so occupied with our work, careers, and personal growth that we somehow forget to take care of ourselves.
The fact is that we worry about other people more than about ourselves.
To clarify, I don’t think that worrying about other people’s well-being is a bad thing, but we should make ourselves a priority.
You have to be more gentle on yourself. You owe it to yourself.
Look for some advice in self-help books and start treating yourself more gently and kindly.
How to be gentle with yourself
Now that you know the importance of being gentle with yourself, we can look at some very easy ways of how to do it.
Always be honest with yourself…
No matter how difficult life becomes (and it will for sure), you always have to be honest with yourself.
Lying to yourself isn’t allowed – even white and consoling lies are forbidden.
There is a solution for every problem, there is a way out of every situation, no matter how difficult they are.
You just have to be straight with yourself and start looking for the best solution.
Accept life how it really is. Accept reality. If you make a mistake or do something wrong, admit it, try to fix it, and move on.
It’s the only recipe for living a fulfilled life.
…but also, always speak kindly to yourself
So what if you’ve made a mistake? So what if you gave someone another chance even if you knew they didn’t deserve it.
It’s not a reason for you to be angry or hard on yourself. Be gentle on yourself.
We all make mistakes and do things we aren’t proud of sometimes, you aren’t the only one, trust me.
We all have our inner critics but don’t allow them to be louder than you. If you do, it’s going to have a negative impact on your self-esteem.
Share your feelings with your loved ones
If something is bothering you, you should feel comfortable sharing it with your best friend or your partner.
They’ll listen to you and give you the best advice.
You don’t have to manage all your emotions by yourself.
I know we all get overwhelmed sometimes and we start thinking about how we can’t take it anymore.
Well, in those moments, feel free to talk it over with your loved ones. It’ll help you feel better instantly.
Stop putting other people before yourself
It’s nice to worry about your loved ones, take care of them, and help them whenever you can.
However, that shouldn’t be a reason for you to neglect your own needs.
You have to put yourself first and take care of your own needs. It’s not selfish, it’s normal. You’ll see how it benefits your self-image.
By putting yourself first, you’ll come to the conclusion that some people don’t even deserve to have any place in your life.
You’ll realize that after all, you are the most important character in your life.
Listen to your body, it’ll always say what it needs.
No matter how busy your weekly schedule is, you always have to find time for self-care.
Both your body and your soul need it. It’s connected with your physical and mental health. And the best part is that it’s so easy.
You just need to make some time for it. So easy but at the same time, so beneficial.
Treat yourself from time to time
You definitely deserve it. Go shopping or order something online for yourself. Go buy that bag you’ve had your eye on for two months now.
After all your hard work, you need to treat yourself.
It doesn’t even have to be a piece of clothing or jewelry – you can travel somewhere or spend the day at a spa.
Work on your self-esteem
Your self-esteem is greatly influenced by your self-image and vice versa.
You have to work on both if you want to become more confident and show people that you are happy with yourself.
It’s essential for your personal growth, success, and dating life. There are so many ways to raise your self-esteem.
You should focus on the things you love about yourself and some of the skills you are proud of.
Nobody’s perfect and you should always remember this.
Take care of your mental health
If you’re too hard on yourself, you’ll feel depressed and uncertain.
If you set some high expectations for yourself and you’re unable to fulfill them, you’ll feel like you’ve failed and it’ll leave some consequences on your mental health.
Your mental health is more important than your job, career, or anything else.
The connection between your mind and your body is so strong and that’s why you should take equal care of both.
This is connected to self-care and speaking kindly to yourself.
You need to have an understanding of yourself, your actions, and your feelings.
You can do something you later realize was wrong for you, but still, you shouldn’t judge yourself. Accept it as your mistake and move on.
Of course, you should always work on yourself to be a better person, but you have to accept that you’ll make some mistakes on the way.
Listen more to your inner voice
If all the people around you say that something is wrong for you and that you shouldn’t do it but your gut doesn’t really agree with it, you should listen to that inner voice.
Maybe sometimes it’ll lead you in the wrong direction but at least you’ll know that it was your own mistake and it’ll be easier for you to accept it.
I’m sure you’ve heard a million times that you should follow your heart.
Well, that’s not just some ordinary saying. It’s a truth and you should believe in it and let your heart lead you.
Always be optimistic and think positive
My personal motto is “think positive and positive things will happen.”
It’s really helped me a lot because I know how important hope is and hope is actually something that helps me get through all of life’s misfortunes.
Surround yourself with people who also have an optimistic perspective of life. Don’t allow anyone’s mood to affect yours.
Worrying about the future won’t do you any good because you can’t change it. You can affect it but you certainly can’t change it.
It’s okay to feel tired sometimes
It really is. We are all tired sometimes and we need to rest. Take a few days off from work and go somewhere.
Visit a place you’ve always wanted to. Recharge your batteries before you go back to your everyday life.
Do things that usually help you relax. Get enough sleep. Take as many naps as you think you need.
Turn off your phone and read some books. As much as you need to rest your body, you need to rest your mind and soul, too.
Don’t take work stress home
Leave your work at the office.
You have your working hours and that’s the only time you should be working and thinking about things from work.
If you bring your work stress home, it can affect those around you, too.
You’ll be nervous and tense and it can so easily provoke a fight between you and your partner or a family member.
Take time to do the things you enjoy doing the most
What are the things you enjoy doing the most? Well, you should do those things that make you happy more often.
Make a list. Write down all the things that make you happy. Then put them in your schedule. Do at least one a day.
Things or people who make your heartbeat a little faster are all that’s important.
Start with some simple things and you’ll soon feel the benefits.
Don’t be your own worst critic
It’s good to set some goals and dreams for yourself but you don’t have to criticize yourself if you aren’t able to achieve every one of them.
Don’t be too hard on yourself because you’re only a human being. You aren’t perfect just as I’m not, just as no one is.
Learn from your mistakes and motivate yourself to be better the next time. Be proud of yourself and everything you’ve achieved so far in your life.
Learn to forgive yourself
Always be ready to forgive yourself.
You fell in love with the wrong person, you trusted someone easily and they betrayed you, you gave another chance to someone who didn’t deserve it and they didn’t know how to appreciate it…
Yes, those are all mistakes, but they are yours and you should be able to forgive yourself. Make those mistakes your lessons.
Learn something from them and don’t allow yourself to repeat any of them.
Disconnect from all the negativity around you
Don’t hang out with people who only share negative vibes. I mean, I know you can’t stop hanging out with them, but try to avoid them.
Unfortunately, there are so many toxic people who are envious of the people around them.
Those people drain others of energy and you should try to hang out with them as little as possible.
If some of those people are your loved ones, you should talk with them about it.
Warn them about the negative and bad vibes that they’re sending out to the rest of the world and tell them how they could end up alone if they don’t change.
Enjoy your alone time
Being alone doesn’t have to mean that you’re lonely.
It simply means that you have some time to yourself and have found a way to enjoy and spend it in the best way possible.
Run yourself a bath or throw a private dance party in your living room. Do whatever makes you happy and whatever entertains you.
When you have more obligations in life, you’ll miss those times, trust me. Being alone is also a great way to practice self-love.
Take a social media detox
Sometimes, social media is so toxic for us that we aren’t even aware of it. We should all take a social media detox from time to time.
Go back to your real-life and dedicate yourself to it more.
You don’t always have to compete with your friends about who has posted a better photo or who has more likes and comments.
Real-life is something completely different. Go hang out with your friends, walk more, enjoy nature – camping is also a great idea.
Whatever, just don’t be obsessed with your virtual life anymore.
Don’t allow other people to control your life
You should never – NEVER – allow anyone to control you and your life. You’re the only one who has the right to do that.
All advice should be welcomed.
If a dear friend of yours wants to tell you something or give you advice about something, you should listen to them but you don’t have to take their advice if you don’t agree with it.
Understand that you can’t always please everyone
Please, don’t ever be a people pleaser. I think that’s the most irritating trait a person can have.
Also, no matter how much you try, you can never please everyone.
People are so strange. They set some unrealistic expectations for you and then they get disappointed when you don’t meet them.
You shouldn’t worry about this, nor should you worry about the opinions that other people have of you.
The only important thing is what you want and you should try to please yourself always.
You don’t have control over some things and you should stop worrying about it
There are some things you simply cannot control and you should let them go. Accept them as they are and always hope for the best.
If you can’t affect something, if you can’t change it, then why should you worry about it?
It’s not worth sacrificing your mood and mental health over.
Relax and let it go. Be ready to accept the consequences no matter how bad they are.
What’s meant to happen will always happen no matter how much you try to stop it.
Hanging out with small children will always help
Their giggles, the way they pronounce some words… It’s all so cute and it’s something that really can make everyone smile.
Small children are so naive, pure, kind, and well-meaning. You feel like you just don’t have to think about anything when you hang out with them.
Even though most of us aren’t aware of it, we can learn so many things from them.
For example, we can learn that being honest is always worth it and that our smile can make others happy, too.
You should definitely give meditation a try
Why not? Give me one good reason why you think that meditation won’t help you?
Everyone that’s tried it will tell you how it made them more relaxed.
Try to learn how to do it properly and if the Internet can’t help you, you can always find a group of people and meditate with them.
Take a deep breath and begin. I’m sure it will help you to feel more relaxed and to understand yourself better.
Fall in love with your life
Life is really beautiful, but it’s also short and you should enjoy every moment of it.
You have to find things and people that make you happy and stick with them.
You also need to dedicate some time to self-improvement.
You should always try to see the best in people but you should never expect them to be the same with you as you’re with them.
Along the way, if you get the chance for real love, you should take it. The most beautiful thing in this world is true love.
All in all…
I hope you’ve understood the importance of being gentle with yourself. It’s very sad and strange that most of us still aren’t aware of it.
It’s no wonder that many people feel burned out and emotionally drained these days.
Most of us aren’t even aware of it and therefore don’t look for advice on how to help ourselves.
Start changing the way you treat yourself and you’ll see how your whole life will change for the better immediately.
When you do that, you’ll realize how badly you’ve been treating yourself and that you need to apologize to yourself right away.
Remember and always keep in mind the quote from Paulo Coelho that goes like this: “Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can.”