Why is it that we forget to put ourselves first?
Maybe because they taught us that it’s selfish, that we should always be more considerate and loving toward others. That we should make everybody else around us happy before even thinking about our own happiness.
But love for others shouldn’t exclude the love we have for ourselves. It should empower it.
We can only give what we have within us. So if we exhaust ourselves and just keep on giving our time and energy to others, we will have nothing left for ourselves.
Investing in yourself is just as important as investing in others, if not more.
So, what to do? It’s high time we learned how to put ourselves first. And there are perfectly good reasons why we should do that.
1. Everybody creates their own happiness
Our happiness is in our own hands. By spending all our time making somebody else happy, we end up being miserable ourselves.
Because just as nobody can create your happiness, you can’t do it for anybody else. It’s something we have to do ourselves.
2. It teaches people how to treat you
People learn best from examples. If you put yourself last, the people around you will do that too.
You will be the one who does everything for everyone else and who gets nothing in return, mainly because you don’t expect anything and you don’t ask for anything.
So treat yourself as you would want somebody else to treat you and you will see how people’s behavior toward you changes for the better.
3. It makes you more confident
Learning how to put ourselves first reflects our confidence, which improves our lives.
Having confidence means that we are comfortable with ourselves and that we value ourselves as much as we value others.
The confidence we build also adds to the relationships we have with other people, and regardless of whether it’s with those we work with, love or have friendships with, it makes a huge difference.
People just like being around those who are comfortable with who they are.
4. Others will benefit from it
If you are tired and exhausted from your busy schedule and additionally you want to please everyone around you, it will lead you nowhere.
Maybe into a state of depression but that’s not a destination you want to reach.
If you are unhappy, stressed and burned out, you are not good to yourself or to anybody else.
Remember to take care of yourself and pamper yourself before you even think about others.
Only when you have enough energy and you feel good about yourself can you offer your help to the people around you.
5. People will stop taking you for granted
If you just keep saying ‘yes’ to things you really want to say ‘no’ to, you are letting people walk all over you.
Being ready to help and being kind is one thing but letting people treat you like a pushover is something you should never allow.
When you are too good, nice or pleasing, people take it for granted.
They don’t appreciate anything you do for them and they don’t value you for using your personal time to be there for them. They will take advantage of your kind heart if you let them.
6. You’ll realize that not everyone deserves a place in your life
Some people are not meant to be in your life forever and that’s OK, they were just there to teach you a lesson. The sooner you realize that the better.
Life is complicated as it is without fake friendships and toxic boyfriends.
Don’t mourn their loss, instead accept them for the lesson they were and wave them goodbye.
7. It doesn’t mean putting others last
There is a huge difference between being selfish and putting yourself first.
Being selfish means you are self-absorbed and that you don’t care about anybody or anything but yourself.
Putting yourself first means being as kind to yourself as you are to others.
It means taking care of yourself so you can be more productive and a better person.
It means loving yourself just a tiny bit more than you love others. And that’s not selfish, that’s necessary.
8. You are your own hero
You already learned that you can’t rely on others to save you. Everything you are and everything you feel is deep down inside of you and you are the one who has to deal with it.
Sure, a misery hurts a bit less when you share it with somebody you care about, and when they share it with you, it helps them too. But it never solves the problem.
Being your own hero means that you have to lift yourself up when you are down, it means listening to people and helping them as much as you can but not sacrificing your own state of mind for it.
9. Your love relationships will be better
When we are too in love, we forget about one important thing—space.
You both need your own space and time that is spent just on you to function better as a couple.
You should concentrate more on the quality of time spent together rather than on just being together all the time.
If you take time to take care of you and do the things you like, you will be more relaxed and more fun to be around.
New things to do also give you new topics for conversation rather than it being all centered on one person.
When you start feeling fulfilled and satisfied with yourself, your partner will pick up on it and it will make your relationship so much deeper and better.
10. Your relationship with yourself will be better
When you learn how to put yourself first, only then will you be able to really get to know what you are made of. You will discover yourself in ways you never thought possible.
You will value yourself more. You will be there for people who are important to you but you won’t let them take advantage.
You will be able to draw the line when necessary and never let them cross that line.
You will learn your likes and dislikes because before you had no opportunity to do so, or at least not as you should have because you kept putting yourself last.
Now is the time to turn the page on yourself, be your own priority and remember that the key to happiness and good relationships with others is in taking care of yourself and loving yourself.