Hey, you. I know that you’re not only heartbroken and devastated.

After all, you’re a smart girl and you’re perfectly aware that your heartache will go away sooner or later. The biggest problem here is that you’re scared.

You’re terrified of having to keep on living without this man by your side. Without the man you thought was your other half and without the man who completed you.

For all those years, you were convinced that he was your savior and the only person keeping you alive. You saw him as your reason to live, as your biggest motivation and as the cause of your existence.

You put all of your energy into your relationship. You were ready to do whatever it took just to keep him by your side.

You lost everyone because he asked you to. Your friends weren’t good enough, your family didn’t mean you well and you cut all of them off.

Most of all—you lost yourself. The girl you were before he came along ceased to exist. He destroyed her, threw away her innocent soul and killed her spiritually.

You were no longer an individual, a daughter or a friend. In fact, you were no longer a woman. You only had the role of his girlfriend and for you, there was no world outside of your relationship.

With time, this man became the center of your universe.

sad girlfriend looking at man sleeping next to him in bed

The only person who made you feel safe and protected, the only one who could put a smile on your face and the only man alive who could make you happy.

However, now he is gone. He left you hanging and abandoned you when you needed him the most.

So, you don’t think you can make it without him. You saw him as your rock, safe haven and sanctuary.

You think that by losing him, you lost everything valuable in your life. You’re convinced that by breaking your heart, he also broke you beyond repair.

Well, let me tell you that this couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, I’m here to promise you that you’ll be okay without him, even though you probably don’t believe me now.

You won’t miss him forever. In fact, one of these days you’ll wake up with a smile on your face and you’ll realize that this man wasn’t the first thing you thought of.

You’ll learn how to live without his presence. You’ll remember who you really are and you’ll become independent and powerful once again.

You’ll understand that you are more than enough to make yourself happy. That you don’t need him to have your back and that he was actually the one not allowing you to reach your full potential.

You see, this guy put a lot of effort into making you feel helpless. He wanted you to think that you were incapable of living on your own and that you needed him to survive this harsh world.

woman on mountain peak sitting watching the clouds on a golden hour

That was the only way he could keep you by his side. The way for him to make you emotionally dependent on him and the way to turn you into his victim.

However, after a while, you’ll understand that he actually did you a favor when he left you to struggle on your own.

Yes, he made you hide the strong woman you were before him.

However, that woman is still there, buried somewhere inside of you—you just have to put some effort into digging deep enough to find you.

Yes, he crushed your heart into a million little pieces. Nevertheless, I assure you that you have what it takes to glue each one of them back together.

However, trust me when I tell you that he didn’t break you because you’re stronger than that. You’re made of steel and you will rise back from the ashes like a phoenix.

I won’t lie to you; scars will remain. Those painful wounds all over your soul will eventually heal but they will leave a mark.

No, they won’t hurt forever. Instead, they will serve you as a reminder of everything you had to experience…

… as a reminder that you went through hell but were strong enough to come back from it more powerful than ever.

They will serve you as a reminder of your strength and of your survival.

A Promise Letter To Myself: You’ll Be Okay Without Him