Falling in love is like an instinct to her, something she was born with. It’s not something she chooses, it’s something that comes naturally to her, like with breathing air. She lets emotions surround her and she breathes in love.

She is the one who falls too strong, too hard and too fast. She feels lucky to be alive after all those heartbreaks she has been through. She doesn’t know where she gets her strength from but she never gives up on the idea of true love.

It is a difficult thing, giving your heart so easily. It’s not something she wants, it’s something she simply does. It gives people more chance to destroy her, to take advantage of that pure soul she possesses. She has no bad intentions, so she can’t possibly grasp that other people might have them.

People often look at her with their judging eyes, calling her desperate for love, calling her out and saying that she is forcing things and that she should wait for something real, that not every love is the love of her life.

What they fail to understand is that she knows that. She knows that not every man who catches her attention is the one. She hopes that those who really get to her heart are.

So she gives them a chance. She crosses her fingers and hopes that this one is the real deal. That she no longer needs to be a part of that emotional roller-coaster she’s been through her entire love life.

She knows everything and she is risking her heart again and again for love. She is scared of getting her heart broken but what scares her even more is not giving that heart a chance at all.

She is scared of missing out on love. She is scared of giving up too soon on something that might be real. So, she tries and gives her best. She puts the happiness of her loved one before her own. She makes him see how important and amazing he is.

The downside to this is that in loving him she forgets her own importance. She forgets how valuable she is. She forgets that she has a life that doesn’t involve him. She forgets her future plans and goals. She postpones her dreams so he can chase his.

That’s where she fails every time.

She doesn’t realize that she is in love ‘with being in love’. She is hooked on that feeling. It consumes her and it controls her. So she always gives more emphasis to the feeling than to the person.

She doesn’t pay attention to getting the love back. She doesn’t see that her efforts and investments aren’t reciprocated. She doesn’t see that she is giving her best for somebody who is failing her in every aspect. Someone who wouldn’t lift a finger for her.

She knows it’s time to change.

She knows that she has to stop repeating the pattern. That she has to stop choosing to give her heart to the wrong man. She has to stop loving those who don’t deserve her so easily.

She knows that she needs to take a good look at the person she is falling in love with. She knows that expecting all that she is giving in return is not selfish—it’s normal and necessary.

She knows that she has to give more love to herself. She has to stop neglecting herself and postponing her dreams. She has to find a way to live the life she deserves.

She has to put herself first, so that misplaced feeling can find the right path.

She knows it all in theory but when it comes down to it, it’s really hard giving up the old habits. It’s hard when that feeling of being in love is like an addiction to her and she is aware that she needs to change, that she needs rehab.

Somehow, she also knows she will make it. She knows because she realized that she should fall in love with herself first, as easy as she has fallen for those who weren’t worthy of her.

What she needs even more is patience. Patience to learn to love herself and remake herself into a better version. The version she knows she has but it just got away from her somehow.

Patience to realize that she wants forever with somebody. Patience to wait for him. Patience because she can rush it all but she can never rush forever.