True Love Or Perfect Illusion?
Sometimes, when you’re in a long-term relationship, there comes a point where you’re no longer sure of your feelings, and you start questioning everything to the nth degree.
Other times, you’re just getting to know the guy, and you don’t know if you can call your emotions for him real love or just a temporary infatuation.
And sometimes, all you need are some clear-as-day signs that you actually are in love with the right person, that will tell you for sure and relieve you of any suspicions once and for all.
Falling in love is oftentimes an inexplicable sensation of a feeling. But how do you know if you’re merely daydreaming or if the little things about him are truly making your heart skip a beat?
I would best describe it as an exhilarating descent from a high cliff where you cannot see the ground, but you also don’t want to as the ride itself feels all kinds of amazing!
We’ve all been in enough relationships to be able to determine the severity of your emotions when you fall in love. But at the same time, I’m sure we’ve all experienced the painful side of love too. For me, it was the first time I let my guard down to the wrong person.
Shielding our hearts from further pain prevents us from investing ourselves fully in new relationships. And all the relationship advice will be of no use if you don’t let yourself feel that way again.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve let myself fall in love too easily and got hurt in the process, but what I’ve come to realize is that if I don’t risk it, I’ll never really know if I’m missing out on that once-in-a-lifetime type of love!
Luckily, there are great signs that can easily tell you if you’re really in love with the guy or if it’s just something elusive that will pass within a few short weeks, like in all those rom-coms.
Here are some signs that will reassure you of your feelings and make you see that what you’re feeling is in fact true love!
15 Undeniable Signs That You Love Him
1. He makes you calm
The first thing that you associate with love is probably butterflies in the stomach. You know, that feeling that makes your stress hormone work overtime?
But love is actually something completely different.
Of course, it’s great if your boyfriend excites you, but that only means that you are in love with him. On the other hand, if you are in a relationship with a guy who makes you calm, this is one of the signs you really love him.
This man represents peace for you and not in a bad way. It doesn’t mean that he’s not fun to be around or that he’s boring, only that he has such an impact on you that he can make all of your problems disappear just by smiling at you.
You’re way past the love bug stage, where your heart rates went crazy in each other’s company all the way from your first date up to just recently. Just the thought of him caused you sleeplessness and a loss of appetite and the most trivial events sent you in a panic.
Now, his presence brings you calm and peace. Yes, you have a compassionate love, but one that provides you with an overwhelming sense of security.
2. He makes you feel strong
One of the telltale signs that you really love a guy (and that he loves you) is how you feel around him. When you love a man, he gives you a special kind of strength and power.
You simply feel that there is nothing you can’t do when he’s by your side. And that’s true love. This guy empowers you and the love between the two of you gives you wings. He simply motivates you to be better, without ever trying to change you. And the best part is that he does it without even trying.
His presence is more than enough to make you feel like this. Besides feeling stronger than ever, you feel safe and secure around this guy because you know his love protects you.
When a loved one is able to make you feel empowered by his mere presence, you know that this one is special. With him beside you, you simply love life more than ever because you’ve never felt more alive and happy to be living to your fullest potential with him around.
3. You trust him
It’s always challenging to trust someone. But trust is often closely connected with love and you’ve trusted this man since you met him. It doesn’t mean that you blindly trust everything he says, but that you know he is trustworthy. And that’s a good sign of his long-term potential.
You simply feel like you could trust this man with your life. You can rely on him and his support is all you need in life. Besides, you trust his judgment and opinion, and you respect them even when the two of you disagree.
You fight like best friends, but make up like lovers. You know that every little argument you have is only going to bring you closer because you trust that he’s always trying to make the best argument for your joint happiness.
Life isn’t endless rom-coms where all you do is watch your favorite TV shows on Netflix, drink wine from your local grocery store, and have sex. There’s a lot of real stuff that happens in between, but you’re no longer scared to face them. The trust you feel with him makes you excited about the future.
4. You want everyone around you to meet him
When you love a man, you’re also proud of him. He doesn’t have to be Mr. Perfect, but you know he’s perfect for you. So you want everyone around you to know what a great man you have by your side.
You want all the people important to you, even your family, to get to know this guy better, so they can all love him. You know that in every healthy relationship there comes a time where you meet each other’s families and friends, and you feel like that time is now.
Your friends and family are important to you and so is he, so you secretly hope that they’ll all get along great. Even his little quirks are adorable and fun, so you don’t mind him being his true self around them.
You just know that everyone you care about will love him the way you do (minus the sexual part) and be happy you’ve found your guy! And this is one of the biggest signs that you love this guy. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t dream of introducing him to your people.
5. His needs matter to you
When you love someone, you want that person to be happy. It’s the same with romantic relationships. One of the signs that you really love a guy is that his happiness means the world to you. If he’s miserable, you’re genuinely messed up as well.
Therefore, you are ready to make numerous sacrifices just to see him smile (and to be the reason for that smile). His needs will become a priority to you and you’ll never again be selfish around him.
It’s impossible for you to be happy and satisfied if he isn’t, and that’s one of the signs of true love. Let this be the telltale sign you love him. When he’s happy, how do you feel? If it’s genuine happiness, than it’s real love on your part. But if you’re really unfazed at his emotions, it’s probably a superficial thing.
When people are in a healthy relationship, the needs of their partners become their own. Love does that to people – it’s what makes a true, compassionate love.
6. You can imagine a future with him
One of the signs that you really love a man is that you can imagine your future with him. When a woman really loves a man, her hormones go wild.
All of a sudden, you can’t wait for him to get on one knee, and you can imagine yourself living in a house with a white picket fence in the suburbs with him.
You catch yourself thinking about starting a family with this guy and you’ve even named your imaginary dog. If this is the guy you could picture yourself having children with, you definitely love him and there’s no doubt about it.
When your mind is unsure of your feelings, it’s never going to let you get so far as to imagine a whole future alongside this man. It’ll keep you from doing that as a sign of precaution, and you’d be taking it really slow, just to be sure.
But when your mind has a life of its own and you already know what your days would look like and who’d get up first to make pancakes for breakfast and take out the dog, honey, you’re head over heels!
Take your time and don’t rush anything because if the signs above are valid for you, there’s no doubt you are completely and irrevocably in love with him.
7. You check your text messages a million times a day
You know you love a guy when you can’t go 15 minutes without obsessively checking your phone. You just crave to see his name light up your screen. Just the thought of it makes you burst with pure happiness.
This is because he has become a best friend to you. Knowing that you’ve got a life partner as well as a best friend and a lover in him is hard to believe to be true, but it is. You really got that lucky!
Seeing a text from him immediately alleviates any pain you’ve been feeling because he makes it all disappear in a second. Your days of daydreaming about that perfect guy are over because he’s finally yours.
8. You see little reminders of him everywhere around you
You’ll be walking to work and the billboard you see every day will suddenly remind you of him. Why? Because it’s for a huge concert that you’ve been talking about attending for ages. And now he’s in your thoughts every single morning on your trek to work (and you really don’t mind).
You’re on a night out with your girlfriends, and you’re having a ball, when suddenly, there’s a song on that immediately makes you want to take out your phone and ring him up. It’s the song you listened to five times that one day when you just couldn’t decide on what to listen to next.
And now, whether you like it or not, it’s kind of become one of your songs! And it makes you smile whenever you hear it because you’re immediately reminded of that day and how much fun and laughter you shared.
9. Time spent with him never feels like time wasted
Even if it’s just for five minutes, those five minutes will be the best part of your day without a doubt. You can be walking to a grocery store and literally just be stocking up for the following week and you’ll find yourself so content in that very moment.
You know it’s true love when every second with him feels too short and extremely precious. You don’t take any time spent with him for granted and you don’t mind doing anything with him.
You could be having a picnic at the park near a lake, with all your favorite foods and wine, or you could be in your room, on your bed, and listening to music. Everything is such a thrill that makes your day.
10. You want to know about every little detail of his life
With all your ex boyfriends, you really couldn’t care less about their childhood or their weird fears and insecurities since they were little. It just wasn’t serious enough for you to care. But with this one, boy, has that changed!
You literally care about all the little things that have made him who he is today. What he was like as a kid, which posters graced his wall when he was a teenager, and how many embarrassing things he did during his freshman year in college!
You care about his family and you want to know everybody really well because his family has become important to you too. You don’t have to pretend to care about how his grandma is anymore, because with him, you really do care!
And that is the biggest sign of real love. Caring about his past and his family makes you truly and completely in love with him.
11. You don’t mind making small sacrifices for him
Normally, you wouldn’t be a fan of taking care of just anyone’s dog for a whole week (you love dogs, but it’s a big responsibility and what if you mess something up – yikes!) But if he asked you, you’d have no problem.
It wouldn’t even be something you had to think about. You love this guy and you know how much he adores his fur-buddy, so you’d be happy to take that worry off his mind!
His dog is safe with you and you’re happy to be able to help. And making any compromise is not a big deal anymore. You’re totally okay meeting him halfway. And this is how you know you’ve found a guy for the long haul.
You used to hate having to compromise for a guy, but with him, you don’t mind letting him have his way every now and then, because he’d do the same for you. And there’s pure understanding from both sides.
12. You often notice little things that you know he’d love
You’ll be doing your weekly shopping at your favorite grocery store and you’ll see a new pack of crisps and you immediately think he’d love it, so you buy it for him to try!
You’re talking with a friend and she’s raving about this new band that’s playing the next day in the city, and you just know that he’d be a fan as it’s the exact same music he listens to daily!
With him, it’s really easy to know what he’d be a fan of and what he’d hate. And you just love those moments when you know something would make him happy, and then provide that for him. It makes you feel happy on the inside.
This is a huge telltale sign that you are head over heels for him. He’s literally in your every thought and he never fails to put a huge smile on your face.
13. You lose track of time
With him, time becomes an irrelevant part of your life. You don’t even care what day it is – oftentimes you even forget! All you know is one minute you’re cuddling on your sofa and whispering sweet nothings to each other, and what feels like a minute later, it’s already evening and you’ve spent your whole day there.
That’s what happens when you’re in love. Time simply flies, because when you’re with that person, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be and every second is your own personal paradise. You literally need to have conversations with yourself where you talk yourself into actually going to work. It’s just too tempting to stay with him all day long.
14. You feel more energized than ever
You normally don’t just wake up upbeat and ready to take over the day. You most certainly aren’t excited about going to work and hitting the gym afterwards. But since you’ve been with him, you’re full of this newfound energy that you just can’t wait to spend somewhere!
You might even be talked into climbing a freaking mountain (but you’d have to really think about that one). He has this amazing effect on you where you believe you can do anything and at the same time you feel like you want to do so much. Work isn’t a hassle anymore because you know you’re seeing him afterward! Gym is your favorite part of the day because you absolutely love being in shape for him. Life has become such a fun adventure and you wouldn’t change a thing!
15. You don’t mind his imperfections
You’re perfectly fine with him being a flawed human being (like we all are!). You wouldn’t change any aspect of his physical appearance nor any of his traits. You notice those little quirks he has, but you don’t find them annoying. You know it’s a part of who he is and you don’t want to be that person who has to have the perfect boyfriend. You make it work through all of your ups and downs!
And that’s how you know it’s real love that you’re feeling. When you truly love someone, you accept them exactly the way they are. But when it’s lust, you want to mold them into the perfect person for you. Love makes you see beyond the flaws. Love is selfless, kind, and reassuring. You don’t need perfection, you just want effort and commitment.
Love is a truly marvelous thing. You meet this person and suddenly, your whole world starts revolving around them. You care about where he is and who he’s with, and you often wonder if he’s okay. His emotions affect you greatly– if he’s suffering, you feel pain too! The thought of losing him is unbearable and you love him for every little quirk and flaw that he has.
You have stopped wanting to change him. You no longer hold silly grudges over irrelevant things. You love him just the way he is and you know the feeling is mutual. If all of this pertains to you, congrats – you are truly and irrevocably in love!
For the first time ever, you feel so excited and beyond scared. Finding him has been such a blessing, but you fear that you might lose him one day and this petrifies you. You often get scared that he’s going to stop loving you or realize that he can do better. Don’t worry if this is also the case. That’s what love does to people, its effect is both overwhelmingly majestic and scary AF!
Just keep nurturing the love you share and stay the same person through it all. Remember, you’re the one he chose and you’re the one he fell in love with. For as long as you stay committed and loving to each other, there’s nothing that can tear you apart.