You know that someday he’s going to wake up overwhelmed by sadness and betrayal and ask himself: Is this how she felt?
Yes. Even worse, it’s how you felt so many times in life that you almost lost all your hope. You forgot what safe felt like.
You asked yourself: What did I do to deserve this? Why can’t I just have a normal, loving relationship, full of trust?
It’s the only thing you ever wanted. It should be so simple.
After some time, you realized it wasn’t about you or what you wanted.
There was no space for your needs.
It was always about him and you didn’t even mind it until he violated your boundaries and transformed your whole world into such a lonely place.
You worked so hard to make yourself vulnerable again because you knew that was the only way a relationship could work.
You were facing your fears one by one, you wanted this to be pure. A new beginning.
You tried to understand. You didn’t think it would be easy to deal with all your fears and insecurities.
Looking back at it now, you realize you were just trying to justify his selfish behaviors.
It’s crazy how love can blind you. You didn’t have anyone to reach out to—because he was all you knew.
You poured yourself into him. The person you adored became your worst nightmare.
Everything you shared became just aching memories and more pain. You felt so alone.
Is there anything worse than sharing all your fears and hopes with someone just to see them use them against you, use them to hurt you more?
How is that possible? He said he cared so many times.
He said no one came close to you. He said no one could hurt you.
There’s nothing scarier than thinking those words were straight-up lies and he was the one who hurt you the most.
The worst thing is, you stopped trusting yourself and this is because you couldn’t believe you fell for the same thing again.
It made you feel so insecure. You lost all of your confidence.
A voice in your head kept saying it was all your fault and it wouldn’t go away.
Every day, you would wake up in fear, with a weight on your chest and disbelief that this was now your reality.
You just wanted to go back to sleep because that was the only time the pain would go away.
You prayed to be yourself again one day. It took so much time just to make yourself do normal things.
You wanted to enjoy the small things again, so you started with everything that didn’t remind you of him.
I want you to know that there’s life after this.
I know this made you guarded but you must know there are people who understand you and who are going through the same.
Little by little, you will start listening to what you want, what makes you feel comfortable and safe.
You will decide that you want to know yourself better.
You will start knowing yourself outside of your pain.
Firstly, you can start by accepting your pain and forgiving yourself for not knowing better.
Secondly, you can take all of your life goals seriously and start making progress in becoming yourself again.
Let yourself fall in love with all you can do and all you can be.
Make a decision to see everything you went through as motivation and a learning curve.
Learn to accept that everything in life happens for a reason, one you don’t know in advance.
This realization will make you at peace with yourself. There’s no other way than to let go and try again.
Your strength is in your life story. Your sense of power comes from always believing, trying and moving on, despite the pain people have caused you.
Once you realize that no person can take your power if you don’t let them, you’re invincible. Stand in your power.
This life is yours and yours only and it’s you who gets to decide what you’re going to do with it.
It’s never too late. It’s just one decision away.
Do it all not to prove yourself to anyone but yourself because you’re the one who deserves it all.