All narcissists are masters of manipulation and gaslighting. They always know how to get exactly what they want and maneuver out of every problem they cause.
I once dated a narcissist and didn’t even know it until later on when I realized how much he controlled me and always portrayed himself as a victim. I often questioned if I was really a crazy one or if I just dated a psychopath.
After watching one video I learned that’s exactly what he wanted – to make me think I’m the problem. TikTok user @the_bat_wolf posted a video talking about common phrases narcissists use against you.
He called himself a “self-aware narcissist” saying both he and toxic people he’s been with used these exact words to manipulate others. And after listening to everything he said, I must say all of them sounded really familiar! He described my ex in a 1-minute video, it’s crazy!
Here’s what he said those 9 phrases are:
1. “Why are you starting fights with me?”
This is one classic example of a sentence they use when they know they did something wrong and want to avoid taking accountability. It’s just a lame try to make you feel guilty for creating tension, even when you just want to calmly talk about some issue.
2. “Why are you always overreacting?”
Whenever they say this, be sure they just want to convince you that you’re exaggerating when in reality you have a perfectly appropriate reaction to something that happened. This was honestly a reason I thought I went overboard sometimes while I was even being too nice.
3. “This conversation is over. I’m leaving!”
Whenever they don’t get what they want from you, they’ll use this tactic to change that. Narcissists know they can gain your pity and instill fear in you by saying they are upset and leaving. Being scared of ending up alone, makes you a perfect victim for them.
4. “I guess I’m just a piece of sh*t.”
This is another attempt to just get your sympathy by self-deprecating themselves. Their goal is to make you feel guilty for saying something, even if it wasn’t hurtful so they can be excused from what they did.
5. “Believe whatever you want.”
If narcissists realize you know the truth and they have nowhere to escape they won’t simply give up. Instead, they’ll use this phrase when they don’t have anything more to add to defend themselves. So by saying this, they don’t give you an opportunity to address and discuss what you want.
6. “Why are you so sensitive?”
You’re either overreacting or you’re too sensitive, there’s no in-between! Either way, narcissists will never validate your feelings. They’ll just gaslight you until they convince you what you’re feeling is completely wrong.
7. “Why do you make everything a big deal?”
Similar to saying you’re overreacting or too sensitive, they use this when they want you to think you’re the problem. This way, they can get out of almost anything because they downplay their actions making them seem less problematic. My ex would always say I’m crazy for being upset over something that’s not so serious.
8. “You’re crazy!”
Never believe a narcissistic person when they say this to you. They only use this phrase so you would self-doubt your feelings and think they’re a real victim. The only victim here is you! Don’t let them fool you.
9. “You don’t appreciate me!”
I remember my ex would always mention all the nice things he did for me whenever I confronted him about something he didn’t like. And then he would use this famous phrase and say I’m ungrateful. Of course, narcissistic people only do that to create a sense of guilt and shift focus away from their problematic behavior.
Some of the people in the comments wrote other phrases that should be added to this list.
Gaslighting others is their special talent according to some women and I definitely agree!
So, always be aware of these and similar phrases, and don’t be anyone’s muppet they can control however they want! They’ll do anything to make you think you’re the problem but be smarter and don’t fall for that!