We’ve all had that awkward dinner, the painfully long coffee, or the date that felt more like a hostage situation. You show up hopeful, only to realize you’d rather be anywhere else—folding laundry, organizing your inbox, maybe even sitting in traffic. When the vibe is off and the spark is non-existent, sometimes the only logical move is… a strategic exit.
And let’s be honest—some women don’t just leave. They exit with flair. From goldfish-related emergencies to suspiciously timed “psychic warnings,” the creativity is next-level. These wild, witty, and sometimes ridiculous excuses are proof that when it comes to dodging bad dates, the art of escape is alive and well. Whether you’re here for the laughs or a little inspiration, you’re in for a treat.
1. My Goldfish Is Having an Emergency
It was supposed to be a simple dinner, but when Sarah glanced at her phone, a sudden look of shock crossed her face. “I need to go,” she announced, grabbing her purse in a hurry. Her goldfish, Bubbles, apparently had a “situation,” one that required her immediate attention.
Who knew a tiny fish could have emergencies? Her date looked puzzled, but the urgency in her voice left no room for questions.
As Sarah left, she couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of the excuse. Bubbles was safe at home, happily swimming. But some dates just need a little splash of creativity to make a swift escape.
2. I Forgot I’m Allergic to This Restaurant
In the middle of a nice dinner, just as the waiter brought over the appetizers, Emily feigned a sneeze. “Oh no, I think I’m allergic to this place,” she exclaimed, eyes wide in mock horror. Her date looked bewildered, caught off guard by the sudden proclamation.
Emily, maintaining her composure, launched into a story about how certain environments triggered her “newfound” allergies.
She dabbed her nose with a napkin, theatrically, before hastily excusing herself. The truth was, the date wasn’t going well, and she needed a way out. Her “allergy” provided the perfect escape without much hassle, leaving her date scratching his head in confusion.
3. My Psychic Just Texted—It’s Not You, It’s the Stars
Jessica was halfway through her meal when her phone buzzed. She picked it up, her eyes widening as she read the “urgent” text from her psychic. “Oh dear,” she said, placing her phone on the table. “The stars say this isn’t right.” Her date blinked, unsure of how to respond.
Jessica explained how her psychic had just informed her that their astrological signs were misaligned. The planets, apparently, were screaming “abort mission.”
With a mystical air, she thanked him for the evening, explaining it was nothing personal, just cosmic interference. As she left, her date couldn’t help but wonder if Mercury was, indeed, in retrograde.
4. I Left My Oven On… and I Don’t Even Cook
Halfway through an awkward silence, Clara suddenly gasped. “I left my oven on!” she exclaimed, shooting up from her seat. Her date looked puzzled, especially since Clara had mentioned she doesn’t cook earlier in the conversation.
She fumbled through a quick explanation, something about a new recipe she was trying, and how she must’ve left it preheating.
With a whirlwind of apologies, she dashed out of the restaurant. The truth? Her oven was off, of course. Clara just needed a quick exit from a bland evening, and the imaginary kitchen disaster was hilariously flawed yet effective.
5. Suddenly Remembered I Have a Dentist Appointment… at 9 PM
Midway through dessert, Lily suddenly checked her watch and let out a dramatic sigh. “Oh no, my dentist appointment!” she declared, grabbing her bag in a hurry. Her date looked skeptical—who has a dentist appointment at 9 PM?
But Lily was undeterred, mumbling something about a busy schedule and the only available slot.
In truth, the date was dragging, and she needed a plausible excuse to escape. The “emergency” dental check-up was enough to get her out the door without further questioning, leaving her date perplexed but too polite to question her sudden departure.
6. I Have to Pick Up My Friend’s Cat… from Therapy
Taking a sip of her latte, Megan suddenly put on a look of concern. “Oh, I completely forgot—my friend’s cat!” she exclaimed into her phone. “Therapy ends soon!” Her date raised an eyebrow.
Megan launched into an elaborate tale of her friend’s cat, Mittens, and his weekly therapy sessions for anxiety. Apologizing profusely, she hurriedly left the cafe, claiming Mittens needed prompt transport home.
In reality, there was no cat and no therapy, just an overly detailed excuse to exit an uninspiring date. Her date was left bewildered and slightly amused, pondering the oddity of cat therapy. P.S. You can use this excuse to get out of any plan!
7. I Think I Saw My Ex Walk In—Gotta Go!
While sipping her coffee, Anna suddenly tensed, her eyes darting to the door. “I think that’s my ex,” she whispered urgently. Her date, caught off guard, turned to look but saw nothing suspicious.
Anna leaned in, explaining the need to avoid a potentially awkward encounter. She gathered her things quickly, insisting she had to leave immediately.
Her date, perplexed but understanding, nodded as she made a quick exit. In truth, there was no ex in sight. It was just Anna’s cleverly dramatic excuse to slip away from a lackluster evening, leaving her date none the wiser.
8. I Promised Myself I’d Finish That Puzzle Tonight
Mid-conversation, Emily suddenly remembered her “important” task for the evening. “I’m sorry,” she said, with a determined nod. “I promised myself I’d finish my puzzle tonight.” Her date blinked, unsure if she was serious.
Emily, undeterred by the skepticism, launched into a passionate explanation of her puzzle obsession, describing how close she was to completing it.
With a confident smile, she excused herself, leaving her date to ponder over the unusual commitment to jigsaw puzzles. Truth be told, it was just Emily’s quirky way to exit a dull date, choosing pieces over an uninspiring conversation.
9. I Just Realized I’m Technically Still Married
As the conversation turned personal, Lisa suddenly paled. “Oh my goodness,” she gasped, clutching her handbag. “I just realized—I’m technically still married!” Her date froze, eyes widening.
Lisa explained in a flustered manner about forgotten paperwork and a long-lost spouse, creating an air of chaotic revelation.
She apologized profusely, explaining she needed to handle the “surprise” marital status, before making a hasty retreat. Of course, Lisa wasn’t actually married; it was just a bold, outrageous excuse to exit a date gone wrong. Her date was left speechless, pondering the whirlwind revelation.
10. I Forgot I’m Not Into Men Right Now
In the middle of discussing weekend plans, Rachel paused, her expression thoughtful. “You know what,” she said, with a confident nod, “I just remembered—I’m not into men right now.” Her date blinked, caught completely off guard.
Rachel elaborated on her recent introspection, explaining the sudden clarity.
With a gracious smile, she thanked him for the evening before leaving with her head held high. It wasn’t about rejection, but rather a moment of self-awareness and honesty wrapped in a creative exit strategy. Her date, though surprised, respected her candidness.
11. My Sister’s Cousin’s Dog Just Got Lost
Midway through their chat, Olivia’s phone rang. She answered, face growing serious. “Oh no, not Fluffy!” she exclaimed. Her date listened, intrigued by the unfolding drama.
Olivia launched into a chaotic explanation involving her sister’s cousin’s dog, Fluffy, who had mysteriously vanished.
With a flurry of apologies and a promise to reschedule, she left to “aid” in the search. In reality, Fluffy was fictional, a pet woven into an elaborate excuse to depart. Her date was left in bemusement, contemplating the complex web of connections.
12. I Left My Straightener On—Fire Hazard, You Know?
Just as the main course arrived, Sophie gasped, clutching her phone. “I left my straightener on!” she declared, eyes wide with feigned panic. Her date looked confused, sensing the urgency in her voice.
Sophie swiftly explained the potential fire hazard, painting a vivid picture of disaster waiting at home.
With hurried apologies, she dashed out, leaving her meal untouched. In truth, her hair tools were safely unplugged, but it served as the perfect dramatic excuse to escape an uninteresting date. Her date was left staring after her, a mix of concern and bewilderment.
13. I Have a Sudden Urge to Rewatch All of Friends
In the middle of a tepid conversation, Megan suddenly perked up. “You know,” she said, with a wistful smile, “I just got this random urge to rewatch ‘Friends.'” Her date chuckled, assuming she was joking.
But Megan was already gathering her things, explaining how a cozy night with her favorite sitcom was calling her name.
With a wave and a grin, she left, choosing Ross and Rachel over an uninspiring evening. Her date was left at the table, amused yet slightly baffled by her unexpected departure. Sometimes, the comfort of a favorite show just wins out.
14. My Therapist Said I Shouldn’t Be Here
In the midst of an awkward pause, Emma glanced at her phone and smiled. “Funny thing,” she began, “my therapist just texted—apparently, I shouldn’t be here.” Her date raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the unexpected revelation.
Emma elaborated, explaining how her therapist had advised against certain “patterns,” using the text as proof of divine intervention.
With a knowing nod, she thanked him for the insight and excused herself gracefully. It was her unique way of acknowledging a mismatch, leaving her date pondering the mysterious wisdom of therapists.
15. I’m Training for a Marathon—Of Avoiding You
Midway through a dull story, Jenna suddenly stood up, adjusting her jacket. “I’m sorry,” she said, with a cheeky grin. “I just remembered—I’m training for a marathon of avoiding dates like this.” Her date, taken aback, blinked in surprise.
Jenna, with a wink, explained that her new “fitness plan” didn’t include long, boring evenings.
With a playful wave, she jogged off, leaving her date to process the playful roast. It was all in good fun, a creative escape plan to inject some humor into an otherwise forgettable encounter.
16. Oh No, I Think I’m Getting… the Plague?
As the conversation dragged on, Kate suddenly feigned a cough. “Oh no,” she whispered dramatically, “I think I’m coming down with… the plague?” Her date looked alarmed, unsure if she was serious.
Kate, holding a hand to her forehead, described symptoms with theatrical flair, claiming she must leave to prevent spreading her “illness.”
With a series of coughs and apologies, she exited quickly. In reality, she was perfectly healthy, just in dire need of an escape from the monotonous date. Her date watched her go, a mix of concern and disbelief coloring his expression.
17. I Just Remembered I Hate Small Talk
Amidst a conversation lacking depth, Mia suddenly sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said bluntly, “but I just realized I hate small talk.” Her date paused, surprised by her candidness.
Mia continued, explaining her preference for meaningful dialogues over trivial chatter.
With a polite nod, she excused herself, leaving her date to ponder the abrupt honesty. It was a refreshingly straightforward way to escape a tedious conversation, prioritizing authentic connections over superficial exchanges.
18. My Phone Died and That Feels Like a Sign
During a lull in conversation, Laura glanced at her phone, noticing the screen had gone dark. “Well,” she mused, “my phone’s dead. Must be a sign.” Her date chuckled, unsure of her meaning.
Laura explained how she believed in universal signs guiding her decisions.
With a thoughtful smile, she thanked him for the evening, taking her dead phone as the cue to leave. Her date, amused, watched her depart, entertained by the whimsical reasoning behind her exit.
19. I Promised to Feed My Plants at Exactly 8:17
Midway through their drinks, Chloe suddenly checked her watch, eyes widening. “Oh dear,” she exclaimed, “I promised to feed my plants at 8:17 sharp.” Her date looked puzzled, trying to grasp the urgency.
Chloe, maintaining a serious tone, detailed her strict plant-care routine, emphasizing the importance of precise timing.
With an apologetic smile, she gathered her things, leaving her date to ponder her dedication to plant life. It was just Chloe’s imaginative excuse to exit gracefully, prioritizing fictional plant schedules over an unremarkable date.
20. My Uber Driver Is Weirdly Already Outside
It may not be one of those excuses to get out of work, but sure works for dates! Just as the conversation lulled, Zoe glanced at her phone, acting shocked. “Oh, weird! My Uber’s here!” she announced. Her date, surprised, asked if she had ordered one.
Zoe, feigning confusion, explained it must’ve been a mistake, but clearly, the universe wanted her elsewhere.
With a shrug and a smile, she made her exit, leaving her date amused by the unexpected “coincidence.” It was her clever way of cutting short a less-than-thrilling date, using a fictional Uber as her ticket out.
21. I Have to Go Home and Think About My Choices
In the midst of a dull moment, Lily sighed deeply, gazing into the distance. “I think I need to go home,” she said, “and think about my choices.” Her date raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the sudden introspection.
Lily elaborated, claiming she needed some space for reflection and personal growth.
With a serene smile, she excused herself, leaving her date to ponder the existential twist. It was her creative way to escape a monotonous evening, choosing self-reflection over uninspiring company.
22. I’m Actually in Witness Protection, Sorry
Over dinner, Natalie leaned in, lowering her voice. “I have a confession,” she said, with a serious expression. “I’m in witness protection.” Her date blinked, unsure if she was joking.
Natalie spun a tale of secret identities and relocated lives, claiming she had to leave immediately for safety reasons.
With a dramatic farewell, she departed, leaving her date in stunned silence. It was, of course, a fictional tale—a playful, albeit far-fetched, excuse to exit an unremarkable date. Her date watched her go, bemused by the spy-movie theatrics.
23. My Vibe Reader Says Our Auras Don’t Match
Mid-conversation, Lily checked her phone, nodding knowingly. “Hmm,” she mused, “my vibe reader says our auras don’t match.” Her date smirked, intrigued by the new-age reasoning.
Lily elaborated on energy misalignments, detailing how their vibrations were incompatible according to her “trusty” app.
With a gracious nod, she thanked him for the enlightenment and excused herself. It was her whimsically spiritual way to leave a date that just wasn’t clicking, using modern technology as an amusing scapegoat.
24. Sudden Onset Amnesia—Who Are You Again?
As the night dragged on, Emma blinked, feigning confusion. “Who are you again?” she asked, with a bewildered expression. Her date laughed, thinking she was joking.
Emma maintained her act, claiming a sudden onset of amnesia had wiped her memory, making it impossible to continue.
With exaggerated apologies, she excused herself, leaving her date both amused and baffled. It was her creatively absurd way of exiting an uninspiring date, using humor to soften the blow of her sudden departure.
25. Oh No… I Think I Left My Date on Another App
Have you every needed hilarous excuses to get out of your date so badly? Sarah did! Midway through their chat, Sarah suddenly looked at her phone, flustered. “Oh no,” she exclaimed, “I think I left my date on another app!” Her date blinked, trying to understand.
Sarah quickly explained how she’d mixed up her plans, accidentally double-booking her evening.
With heartfelt apologies, she made her exit, promising to sort out the “app mix-up.” It was her modern, tech-savvy excuse to escape, using digital confusion as a humorous departure from a date that wasn’t quite right.