Relationships are hard work. That is a statement everyone agrees on. We have to figure out how to function as a couple, how to find compromises, how to pick our words without insulting our partners. To handle these things gets very hard sometimes, especially if you’ve fallen in love with someone who doesn’t know how to handle their and your emotions well. They don’t know how to treat you. They don’t know how to respect you and at this point, relationships aren’t hard work anymore—they have turned into a battlefield.

Because of relationships like these, we have forgotten what we want. We have forgotten what we deserve. What happens here is that we settle for relationships that in the end, break us to the core because we weren’t able to tell someone how we wanted to be treated. That’s why we always have to keep in mind that no one else, but ourselves, has the power to teach someone how to treat us.

Our wants, needs and emotions are different in every occasion. That’s why the way I want to be treated doesn’t have to correlate to the way you want to be treated. We are individuals who have been through too much. We have been hurt. We have been broken and maybe even abused to the point where we don’t even give ourselves permission to talk about how we want to be treated, but at the end of the day, if we want happy relationships, happy friendships, we have to teach them how to treat us right.

Only you can teach someone that you love your coffee black, that you love the way the rain smells and that they have to leave you alone at times in order for you to be surethat you have a sense of individuality alongside your relationship.

You are the only one to show them how to fight for you. Sometimes, nothing more than the blink of an eye is needed for a man to get a woman. But you want to be fought for! You want to be pursued! Show him that you won’t settle so easily. Show him that one blink, one look and one kind word isn’t enough to obtain your heart. You have gone through too much to fall for such lame tricks again, so teach him how to pursue you by showing him that those methods won’t work on you.

You are the one to teach them how to talk to you. Everything that you do your partner will find to be normal and he’ll do it as well. If you yell and shout, he will do it as well, thinking that this is the way you want to have a conversation. But, sometimes, all you need is a kind word with a soft voice. Don’t let him think that he can talk to you with a raised voice, but don’t do it yourself either. Show him how you want to communicate by talking the way you want to be talked to!

Only you can show people that without the right treatment you won’t stick around too long. We get so caught up in our emotions and our dependency on other people that in the end, we continue to sit around and wait for them to change on their own, when instead, all we have to do is show them how easily we might leave. I know that leaving always hurts. I know that leaving someone isn’t easy. The thing here is that you won’t stick around if you see that you will be mistreated.

With tears streaming down your face, walk away. Only you know all the ways you can teach someone how to treat you the way you want to be treated. Only you can make them see what your needs are. But also, it’s in their power to respect those needs or not. You are not obligated to spend your entire life next to someone, trying to make them learn the basics of human interaction. That is not your job.

A broken heart hurts and it continues to make you bound to your bed, stuffing down ice cream. Why would you want to spend your days like this, in a relationship that is not giving you what you deserve, when you could be going out and having the time of your life? Don’t do this to yourself. Have some respect for the only person who knows how to treat you right – yourself! Once you break, walk away. Respect yourself enough to walk away.