7 razões pelas quais ele não quer se apegar emocionalmente

The first thing you have to know is that you’re not alone. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last woman to encounter an emocionalmente indisponível homem e magoar-se.

Today, this is more and more frequent. Maybe it’s because the dating world has become too fast and too available. You can have literally anything you want in a short period of time.

Basta olhar para o Tinder e outras aplicações de encontros. Os encontros tornaram-se insignificantes e algo que deve ser ultrapassado.

That’s why men and women don’t appreciate dating anymore. We don’t even bother getting to know someone better.

If he or she doesn’t work for us in the first hour or two, we move on because we know another one is just around the corner.

That’s why women and men are more and more emotionally unavailable.

Abrir o coração e deixar a vulnerabilidade de lado não vale a pena.

Embora todos nós sejamos emocionalmente indisponíveis, alguns estudos mostram que os homens são mais propensos a ser emocionalmente inseguros do que as mulheres.

Why is that? Why is it that every guy you’re interested in doesn’t want to get emotionally attached?

He’s self-centered

He’s a bit selfish and the reason he can’t emotionally attach to you, or pretty much anyone, is because he loves himself too much and there is no love left for anyone else.

He is not evil, he doesn’t do it on purpose. He doesn’t want to hurt you intentionally.

It’s just who he is. He has prioritized things in his life and he has put himself first, then a few spots are blank and then other things and people can be considered.

This is both good and bad. It’s good because rarely anyone can hurt him. If you don’t care for anyone, you can’t get hurt.

But it’s bad because he’ll end up alone. He’ll get old and when he does, he’ll be sorry that he pushed everyone out of his life.
Ele é um jogador

Ele é um jogador

Ele mantém-se emocionalmente afastado de si porque ele é um jogador. He isn’t serious about you and that’s why he avoids committing.

Se lhe pedir para definir o que se passa entre vocês os dois, ele evitará dar-lhe a resposta.

Homens como ele enviam constantemente mensagens contraditórias. Num dia, estão em cima de si, trazem-lhe flores e compram-lhe doces e, no dia seguinte, não estão em lado nenhum.

Se ele age desta forma, é provável que seja um jogador que nunca se vai ligar emocionalmente a si ou a qualquer outra pessoa.

He can’t admit he’s wrong

Maduro men know to say when they are sorry. They know that if they’ve made a mistake they have to answer for it and deal with the consequences.

Mas este gajo age completamente ao contrário. Ele age como uma criança porque é um homem-criança.

He doesn’t want to admit he is wrong because it’ll hurt his ego. A man like that can never get emotionally attached.

Because when you’re in a relationship, you have to make compromises and you have to admit when you’re wrong.

That way you’re showing respect to your partner and you’re taking their feelings into consideration.

Ele é um perfeccionista

He can’t get emotionally attached because there will always be something about you that won’t suit him.

Ele quer que actueis de acordo com as suas regras, de acordo com o que ele pensa ser correto.

Anything other than that bothers him because he thinks it’s not perfect.

Nothing can ever be perfect but the thing is, he doesn’t understand that.

He doesn’t get that his behavior is not perfect either and that everyone makes mistakes, including him.

He can’t see that maybe he has done something that bothers you but you got past that because you’re a mature person.

O passado já o tinha mordido uma vez

Ele já foi magoado antes, no passado. Teve uma relação que falhou e isso afectou-o.

Provavelmente, ele amava aquela rapariga, mas não estavam destinados a ficar juntos. Provavelmente, ele abriu-se com ela e ela magoou-o.

Once you get hurt, it’s hard to start believing in love again. This is especially true when it comes to men.

Ser abandonado é a pior coisa que pode acontecer ao seu ego. Se isso acontecer, prometem a si próprios não voltar a passar por algo do género.

O resultado é que se fecham por dentro e nunca se ligam emocionalmente, mesmo quando querem.

Teve uma infância difícil

A nossa infância molda o nosso futuro. Somos um produto de coisas que aconteceram no nosso passado.

If your childhood was a happy one, you won’t be traumatized, you won’t have medos subconscientes irracionais.

But if you’ve been traumatized like he probably was, then you’ll struggle with that for the rest of your life.

Foi ferido emocionalmente, ou não teve emoções quando era criança e o resultado disso é que se recusa a ligar-se emocionalmente ou a dar a alguém a mínima hipótese de o magoar.

Ele é inseguro

Ele tentará sair da relação nas fases iniciais só para ver se você se importa o suficiente para o perseguir e tentar reconquistá-lo. É isto que a insegurança dele faz com ele.

His insecurity will make him test you how much you really like him and then he’ll start emotionally pulling back, leaving you to wonder if there was something you did wrong and if you chased him away.

But it was never you—from the beginning, it was always him and the fact that he doesn’t want to get emotionally attached.