A dura verdade sobre estar apaixonado pela pessoa errada

It’s not so hard to apaixonar-se. There are so many handsome man around, so many sweet talkers and heartbreakers. It’s so easy to fall in love with anyone, but it’s so hard to fall in love with the right person.

Podemos tentar evitar apaixonarmo-nos pela pessoa errada. Podemos ter cuidado, mas quando nos apaixonamos, tornamo-nos literalmente estúpidos. Toda a lógica desaparece de repente.

All the warning signs that scream ‘he is not the man for you’ are there, but you simply can’t see them. You’re in a delirious state of infatuation, and all you see is the person you fell in love with; the person you idealize.

Acaba por se tornar um tolo por causa do seu amor. Dás por ti a conduzir na estrada dos riscos. Colocas o teu coração em jogo porque os teus olhos estão fechados.

Every next minute is a gamble for you because that is not the man you’re supposed to be with.

Maybe you even know it deep inside, but you’re happy at the moment. And people don’t usually look that far into the future, especially if the present is so pleasant.

They don’t want to step out out of their comfort zones.  

The honeymoon phase which lasts too short and too long at the same time blinds you. When you’re happy in your ignorance and when it’s over, you’re sad because it lasted too short.

But when you wake up from the dream you were living in that period and see you’ve been in a wrong relationship, you realize your ignorance lasted for far too long.

Muitos de nós cometem o mesmo erro. No fundo, sabemos que estamos a seguir um caminho errado, que fizemos a escolha errada em relação àquele homem. Mas seguimos o fluxo e desfrutamos da nossa felicidade temporária, porque a alternativa é simplesmente dura.

We don’t want to admit to ourselves that we made a wrong choice. Reality is harsh and frankly, who would like to be aware of it and live in it?

It’s so much better to live in a fairy tale ruled by your own rules.

Why do we do this? Why do we pretend real life doesn’t exist and criar a nossa própria realidade?

Porque nos ensinaram que esse é o caminho certo. Ensinaram-nos a evitar a dor e a desilusão, mas ninguém nos disse que, ao viver a dor, nos tornamos mais fortes.

No one told us that it’s the way we grow to become even better. We reach our maximum, and life becomes everything but a challenge to us. Then, we have to break the cocoon of our life because we can’t fit in anymore.

That process is painful and long. It hurts. We use the last of our strength to get out. But once we do, we have a world of opportunities and options ahead of us. A whole new world. We’re stronger and better than ever.

But what they are teaching us—the society, the TV, the social networks—is to avoid pain and be satisfied with what you get. Stick to it because who knows? Maybe that’s the best you will ever get.

They tell us that we have to have that person next to us to take care of us when we’re sick. They have told us that romantic getaways are a must. It’s normal to expect roses at your doorstep, but is that the real definition of love?

É disso que se trata o amor? Pequenos sinais de afeto e coisas materiais?

It’s not important where he takes you or what he owns. It’s not important whether he buys you flowers or not. That isn’t love, and it’s not supposed to be. But if you watch any kind of romantic movie, all you see is romance and gestures, and you’ll think it’s love.

That’s why you keep choosing tipos errados.

Esse tipo de coisas só nos faz felizes durante algum tempo, mas a verdadeira e real felicidade são coisas muito maiores e melhores do que isso. A verdadeira felicidade é encontrada no amor real e puro.

It’s when you love someone because of the way they walk and talk. Because of the way their hair falls on their cheek. Because of the way he pronounces words. Because of the trivial things he does that make you happy. That’s the real deal.  

Você apaixonar-se por uma pessoa errada because you’re scared to be alone. You’re becoming obsessed with the idea of love. You just want to be with someone, so you’re not alone.

The biggest mistake you’re making is that you’re not going to be happy with a wrong person. You’re not going to find peace with someone that doesn’t give you what you need and deserve.

The right kind of love is not supposed to drain you. It’s not supposed to make you feel bad and sweat in the middle of the night because you’re having nightmares—because your conscience kicks in when you least expect it.

O tipo certo de amor deve fazer com que queiras lutar mais e ser melhor. O amor certo vai desafiar-te. O amor certo deve fazer-te sentir feliz e especial sem grandes gestos e presentes caros.

The right love should make you feel excited all the time. You should feel butterflies in your stomach every time you see him, no matter how long you’ve been together.

When you’re in love with a wrong person, you just know it. You see that you’re unhappy and dissatisfied, but you’re afraid to admit it. Because when you do, what’s next?

O que fazer a partir daí?

O que fazer?

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