Para a rapariga que ainda se culpa a si própria
What can I say to make you see that you weren’t the razão pela qual se foi embora?
It wasn’t because you nagged him or because you were bad in bed. It wasn’t because you were mean, or rude, or filled with jealousy at the wrong moments.
It wasn’t because you weren’t attractive, or because you weren’t as sexy or as playful or as innocent as other girls.
He left because he wanted to, because he didn’t deserve the person you are, because he couldn’t handle what it was like to not date, or kiss, or love, someone who wasn’t an asshole.
He left because you’re the kind of woman who made him work, who challenged him, who asked questions, who spoke up, who had a voice that he wasn’t ready to hear.
As razões que o levaram a partir vão deixá-lo a questionar-se sobre onde TU weren’t wrong but it’s his fault, não o teu.
Não é você que controla as inseguranças dele. Não és tu que mandas de corrigir o seu passado tóxico e não mereces ter de lidar com as repercussões da sua agitação.
You aren’t to blame for how he deals with the toxicity of his childhood or past relationships where someone did him wrong. You aren’t in charge of fixing his insecurities when he uses them as an excuse to mistreat you, to belittle you, to disgrace you.
He will try and try and try to convince you that you need him, that you belong to him but you are nobody’s property.
Ele ri-se quando lhe apetece chorar e distorce as suas palavras até ao ponto em que, infelizmente, começa a acreditar nelas. Ele corta-te com palavras e com enganos.
Ele vai gozar com o amor que tens no teu coração, o mesmo amor que sussurrou para lhe dar uma oportunidade, o mesmo amor que fez vista grossa, o mesmo amor que te fez sentir que ainda havia algo de bom a arder dentro dele.
Não foi por tua causa que ele decidiu ir-se embora.
Não é por tua causa que ele era infeliz porque ele será infeliz com a próxima mulher, e com a próxima, e com a próxima depois dessa, porque ele nunca encontrará paz para ser suficientemente feliz consigo mesmo.
Não é por tua causa que ele está destroçado.
Sejam o vosso próprio recurso para a felicidade. Sejam a vossa própria razão para acordarem de manhã, para enfrentarem o dia e para arrasarem enquanto o fazem. Prometo-vos que, eventualmente, essas cicatrizes e essas feridas de batalha desaparecerão. As minhas acabaram por desaparecer.
Eventually, he will fade into the background. He will become the warning story you save for rainy nights or during your daughter’s first break-up when she fails to realize that the guy who just broke up with her reminds you of this person you used to love all those years ago.
And down the line, you’ll come to realize that nada mudou de facto. He will still be unhappy and unsure of how to handle the kind of love you tried to offer him. He doesn’t think he’s deserving of it because his entire life he fought the very definition of it.
The memories of who he was and what he did and how he made you feel won’t define you forever. I assure you of that.
por Courtney Dercqu
