Quando e como acabar com alguém que ama: 10 coisas a fazer e a não fazer

Letting go of the person you love is definitely the most difficult, heartbreaking thing to do. You’re aware that you’re about to do something that will break your heart into a million pieces, but you’re also aware that it’s the right thing to do.

Agora, a questão é como acabar com alguém que amas? Como é que se deixa ir alguém de quem ainda se gosta muito? É possível terminar com uma pessoa por quem ainda se tem sentimentos fortes?

Yes, it’s possible but, to be honest, it’s going to be a hell of a job.

It’ll be a constant battle between your heart and your mind. Por um lado, o seu coração dir-lhe-á para continuar a lutar pelo seu amor e, por outro lado, a sua mente insistirá para que deixe tudo para trás.

Os seus sentimentos estarão em todo o lado. As suas emoções e saúde mental será uma verdadeira confusão. You’ll try not to hurt your partner’s feelings while you’ll be going through desgosto.

So, if you’re about to sail on this kind of journey, you need to arm yourself with patience and strength because you’ll definitely need it.

How To Break Up With Someone You Love: 10 Important Dos And Don’ts

There are some things you need to do if you want to end things the right way and have a clean break with your significant other. On the other hand, there are some things you should never, but really never, do if you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings.

​I decided to make these two lists of dos and don’ts for romper com alguém you love, and I hope it’ll be helpful to you.

Os Dos de Acabar com Alguém que Ama

Por isso, se quiser fazer o seu separação o mais indolor possível para si e para o seu parceiro romântico, eis o que tem de fazer:

Ter uma conversa séria com a pessoa amada

Honesto e aberto a comunicação ésem dúvida, a parte mais significativa de cada relação saudável. A primeira vez que começar a pensar numa separação, deve partilhar esses pensamentos com a sua cara-metade.

Se o fizer a tempo, pode haver uma hipótese de salvar a sua relação.

However, if you’ve already decided to end things, and you’re one hundred percent sure that it’s the only right thing to do, you should sit down and have a serious conversation with your SO.

Fale sobre todos os aspectos que o levaram a tomar esta decisão em primeiro lugar

Seja completamente honesto com eles. Explique todas as razões pelas quais decidiu terminar a sua relação.

You can admit that you still love them, but don’t give them falsa esperança if you’ve already made up your mind and firmly decided to end things with them. They probably won’t understand and accept it, but try to explain that it’s really for the best.

Fazer o contacto direto

Isto é absolutamente necessário. Se o fizer através de texto ou de um chamada telefónica, it’ll only hurt them more, and you’ll show that you’re nothing but a huge coward.

Just because you’re breaking up with your partner doesn’t give you the right to treat them any less than how you treated them while you were in a romantic relationship.

Esta pessoa fez parte da vossa vida durante algum tempo e criaram juntos memórias tão bonitas. O mínimo que pode fazer é dar-lhe a propriamente dito, cara a cara despedida.

Take your partner’s feelings into consideration

If you still love your soon-to-be ex-partner, I’m sure that the last thing you want to do is break their heart. That’s why you need to break up with them in the least painful way possible.

You need to pay attention to the time and place when you tell them about your decision. However, you shouldn’t beat around the bush too much because it definitely won’t make the breakup any easier for them.

Be upfront about your decision. Be honest and admit that you still love them but that it’s not the same kind of love you felt for them at the beginning.

No entanto, se ainda assim optar por fazê-lo através de texto, poderá encontrar estes mensagens de texto de separação útil.

Escolher um intervalo limpo

Don’t offer them ‘let’s stay friends’ or ‘you’ll always have a true friend in me’ or the most cliché one of all, the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. You can only stay as those “friends” who never call to check up, and you’ll only end up hating each other for real.

Quando decidem separar-se, têm de separar os vossos caminhos e cada um de vós tem de seguir o caminho que escolheu para si próprio.

Of course, it would be nice to promise each other that you’ll always respect and cherish the time you spent together, but that’s all. If you really want to leave it all and move on with your life as soon as possible, you should really try to make a clean break.

Major Don’ts When It Comes To Leaving Your Loved One

​Keep scrolling down if you want to find out what the biggest no-nos are when it comes to breaking up with a person you still have strong feelings for.

O Ghosting é absolutamente proibido

Fantasma é a pior coisa que se pode fazer a alguém que foi uma grande parte da nossa vida durante algum tempo. Isso só mostraria a essa pessoa que nunca a amou realmente e transformaria todo o amor que ela sente por si em ódio.

I know it’s not easy to end things with someone who still means so much to you, but as much as you need to take care of your feelings, you should pay attention to your partner’s feelings too.

They will be hurt no matter how you break up with them – it’s inevitable. But, fantasma them would only show that you don’t respect them enough to give them proper closure.

Also, it would mean that you aren’t brave enough to stand behind your actions and that you don’t have the dignity to terminar a sua relação cara a cara.

Don’t even think about taking some time apart first

O seu parceiro irá provavelmente sugerir que tome uma rutura de relação e pensar na vossa relação antes de tomar uma decisão definitiva.

However, if you accept this, it’ll only give them false hope. They will start thinking that you aren’t completely sure about your decision and that there is still hope para salvar a vossa relação ou para começar de novo.

I think this wouldn’t be fair to do to a person you love, right? So, if your SO suggests a relationship break, you should gently reject their offer and explain that your decision is final and that you don’t plan to change it, no matter what.

Don’t break up in a public place

The first reason why you shouldn’t do it in a public place is that it might make the situation even worse for your partner.

They might think that you were afraid to do it in private and that you’re using those people around you to make the breakup as fast as possible.

I know it would be nice to avoid creating a scene in front of other people, but I’m sure your partner would like for you to do it while you two are alone. You don’t know what their reaction will be, but you must be ready to handle it the best way possible.

Separação em privado e a fazê-lo cara a cara também lhes mostrará que ainda os respeita e se preocupa com eles e com os seus sentimentos.

Don’t give them false hope

Já referi isto acima, mas tenho mesmo de o sublinhar novamente. Quando se toma a decisão de se separar, é preciso manter essa decisão e enfrentar tudo o que vem a seguir.

If you’re interested in dar outra oportunidade à vossa relação, then you should suggest a relationship break. You shouldn’t tell them that you’re ending things for good with them.

Don’t even think about breakup sex

As crazy as it sounds, most couples practice breakup sex nowadays. I don’t know if it’s because they want to have fun one last time (right before fases da separação kick in) or because they think it’ll make them change their mind, but, in my opinion, it’s absolutely freaking crazy.

Então, sexo na separação está fora de questão. It can only confuse you and make you think that you’ve made a hasty decision and that you should try para resolver as coisas em vez de se separarem.

I don’t care if your partner is a model or they’re begging you on their knees to do it one last time; you have to hold your horses and control your desires.

Como saber quando terminar com alguém que ama? 10 grandes sinais de alerta

I know it’s difficult to make the decision para romper com alguém que ainda ama, mas por vezes, infelizmente, é necessário fazê-lo para preservar a sua saúde emocional e mental.

There are a few red flags that it’s time to terminar a sua relação, and I have listed the major ones below. So, keep reading…

You’ve tried couple’s therapy, but…

It didn’t work. No matter how much you try and try… No matter how much effort you’re putting into consertar a sua relação, things just don’t get better.

You’ve tried many different couple’s therapies, and you’ve followed all the relationship expert advice you get, but nothing has helped to make your relationship better.

Then, you know what you have to do… You need to prevent your relationship from draining you. Salve-se quem puder e deixá-lo no seu passado de uma vez por todas e seguir em frente.

Estão sempre a acabar e a voltar a juntar-se

If you two are stuck in the awful cycle of breaking up and getting back together, it’s obvious that you still share strong feelings for each other that won’t allow you to separate forever.

No entanto, também deve saber que o amor nunca é suficiente para fazer uma relação funcionar.

Sooner or later, you’ll understand that it doesn’t lead anywhere. You’ll realize that you will never be able to maintain uma relação saudável, and it’ll make you break up once again. But this time, it’ll be for real and for good.

You’re the one making all the effort

Uma relação é e deve ser sempre uma via de dois sentidos. The respect, your feelings, and all the effort you’re putting into making your relationship work must be reciprocated.

If that’s not the case, if you feel that you’re the only one who is trying to maintain the relationship, it’s a clear sign that the other side doesn’t love you da mesma forma que tu os amas.

One day, you’ll get tired of it all, and you’ll make a definite and final decision. You’ll afastar-se, and you’ll never even want to look back.

Já não há confiança ou respeito na vossa relação

Suponho que todos nós conhecemos o base fundamental de qualquer relação saudável. Bem, a confiança e o respeito são essa base.

If you feel that you’re being disrespected or that you can’t trust your partner anymore, it’s a very clear red flag that you need to afastar-se dessa relação.

Your loved ones aren’t supportive of your relationship

“If nobody in the community supports your relationship, that’s a red flag,“ diz a especialista em relações Lindsay Chrisler, de Nova Iorque.

Of course, this doesn’t have to be a definite sign that you should end things with your romantic partner, but I’m sure there is a good reason why those close to you don’t support your relationship.

It’s probably because they think your partner doesn’t deserve you. O facto é que o seu entes queridos só querem o melhor para si e deve, sem dúvida, ter em consideração a sua opinião sobre a sua relação.

There’s a rift between you

As pessoas mudam. Feelings fade away… You start growing apart from your partner without even being aware of it.

One day, you just wake up and realize that nothing is the way it used to be. You know that your partner isn’t making you happy like they did before.

You realize that your relationship isn’t as close as it was before. And no matter how much you try, it just seems that it’s impossible para restabelecer a ligação e voltar a crescer junto com o seu par.

Drifting apart is one of the clearest signs that you should rethink your relationship and decide whether you should continue dating a person you don’t feel all that close to anymore.

You’re experiencing any form of abuse

Por muito que se ame alguém, nunca se deve tolerar uma atitude desrespeitosa ou comportamento abusivo. Lembre-se de que uma pessoa que o ama sinceramente nunca o magoaria continuamente e de propósito.

You shouldn’t have to explain yourself to anyone because you’re the only one who is truly important. Ponha um ponto final enorme no seu relação abusiva e encerrar esse capítulo da vossa vida para sempre.

As discussões tornaram-se uma parte normal da vossa relação

Para que fique claro, todos os casais discutem. Pequenos desentendimentos de vez em quando são uma parte completamente normal de uma relação saudável.

However, once those ‘occasional fights’ become ‘contact fights,’ it’s really time to walk away from your relationship. Otherwise, it’ll only result in making your relationship toxic and ruining your mental health.

Por outro lado, a paixão já a abandonou há muito tempo

Quando a faísca deixa a vossa relação, tenham a certeza de que o amor se seguirá. É claro que a faísca nunca poderá ser tão forte como era quando começaram a namorar, mas também nunca deverá desaparecer completamente.

A minha melhor amiga terminou recentemente a sua relação. E sabem o que ela me disse quando lhe perguntei o que tinha acontecido? Tenho mesmo de a citar porque essa frase ficou-me muito gravada na memória.

Disse ela, “Trust and passion left the relationship many moons ago. Now it’s time I left it too.”

You’re thinking about the breakup all the time

If you’re constantly thinking about ending your relationship, it’s probably because you have more than one reason to do so.

You aren’t happy in that relationship, and you see breaking up as your only salvation. And you know what? You have every right to do so. You have every right to let go of anything that doesn’t make you happy.

A vida é demasiado curta to waste your precious time on the wrong people and things that can’t make you happy.

Como ultrapassar uma rutura com alguém que ama: 10 passos importantes

So, if you’re interested in this part, I assume you have already finished with the breakup conversation.

Quando um relação romântica comes to an end, one side will always end up hurt, and, unfortunately, it’s inevitable.

Se ainda tem sentimentos românticos intensos pelo seu ex-companheiro, it’s perfectly normal that you’ll suffer após o separação. However, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to recover from it and move on with your life.

Luto e cura depois de um separação is a long and exhausting process. But, unfortunately, you have to go through that process if you want to move on. I’ve prepared a few pieces of relationship expert advice for you below that will help you get through it all a bit faster.

Dê a si próprio algum tempo para descansar

Now you’ve got time to do all the things you wanted to do before, but the only thing you should do right now is take a very deep breath and relax.

Dar tempo a si próprio. Take a rest. Let both your mind and heart take a rest from everything and everyone else. It’s something that you owe yourself. Have some alone time and don’t think about your relationship, your ex-partner, or fases da separação de todo.

Just try to relax and imagine that you’re the only person left in the world. Because the truth is, no one else actually matters besides you.

Cortar o contacto após a separação

I suppose you’ve heard of the famous regra de não contacto after the breakup. Now, you need to put that rule into practice immediately after you’ve finished with the breakup conversation.

So, this means no texts or phone calls to your ex-romantic partner. You really need to cut off communication after you’ve decided to end things.

A maioria especialistas em relações concordar que a regra de não contacto é a ÚNICA forma eficaz de ultrapassar uma separação e seguir em frente com a sua vida.

Os melhores amigos são sempre a melhor terapia

If you’re feeling de coração partido, I know a cure that will definitely help you feel better. That incredible cure is called ‘melhores amigos.’

They are the people who love you the most and who will do just about anything to make you feel better. They’ll help you collect and glue each and every part of your broken heart back together, and they’ll stand right beside you at every step of your grieving and healing process.

Afastar-se das redes sociais durante algum tempo

O melhor para si seria tomar um pequeno desintoxicação das redes sociais. It’s just so you don’t check if your ex is online or what they are sharing all the time.

Procure outra coisa que o mantenha ocupado. Leia livros, o seu horóscopo, ou tente aprender uma nova competência útil, uma nova língua, por exemplo. Se continuas a espiar a tua ex no redes sociais, it’ll be an enormous quebra-galho para o vosso processo de cura e de mudança.

Aceitar a sua situação

Your situation isn’t actually that good and clear, right? So, what? There are so many people in a similar or even the same situation as you are.

Suck it up. You’ve made the decision, and now all you can do is stand behind it. Aceite tudo isto como uma enorme lição que a sua vida está a tentar ensinar-lhe.

Aceitar e abraçar os seus sentimentos

Don’t ever fight your feelings. Of course, I get you. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you need to deixar alguém para trás you’re still deeply in love with.

Mas a verdade é que algumas pessoas ficarão para sempre no nosso coração e não podemos fazer absolutamente nada para mudar isso. Podemos apenas aceitá-lo e esperar que o tempo esteja do nosso lado e faça com que esses sentimentos se desvaneçam.

A última coisa que precisa de fazer neste momento é reprimir os seus sentimentos. Isso pode afetar a sua saúde mental da pior maneira possível.

Confiar num membro da família

After you decide to part ways with your significant other, the only thing you shouldn’t do is shut yourself off from your loved ones.

I know you’re riding on a real emotional rollercoaster, but, trust me, you’ll feel much better if you share your sorrows with someone else.

Open up to someone you trust the most, whether it’s your best friend or a family member. Who knows, they may even give you some good advice and help you get over it all faster.

Don’t jump into a new relationship

When you’re in o período sem contacto after the breakup, it’s a huge no-no for you to start dating other people.

You’re currently in a period of your life where you need to put all your focus and attention on yourself.

You’re in a period of your life when it’s high time to apaixonar-se por si próprio e começar a sair com aquela pessoa fantástica que vês no teu espelho todas as manhãs.

You may think that dating other people will help you forget about your ex-partner faster, but the fact is that it’s such tomfoolery. You can’t fall in love with someone else as long as your ex is still firmly settled in your heart.

Tratar-se

Dito de forma simples, agora é a altura certa para se concentrar em si próprio. Precisa de se mimar ao máximo porque simplesmente o merece.

Do things you always wanted but didn’t have the opportunity to do before. Take a wellness day. Fill up the online shopping cart and buy yourself everything you want. Um pouco de terapia de retalho nunca matou ninguém, certo?

Acreditar no poder do tempo

Confia em mim, o tempo cura. It has no magical power to make your feelings for someone disappear, but it’ll definitely help you recover from your emotional wounds.

The first time you give yourself time to grieve and heal in peace, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Don’t put the “I’m okay, I’ve moved on” mask on because by doing that, you’ll only be suprimir os seus sentimentos.

Tem de ser suficientemente forte para aceitar todas as suas emoções, as positivas mas também as negativas. Caso contrário, pode ter a certeza de que, mais cedo ou mais tarde, todos esses sentimentos reprimidos virão à superfície e causarão danos ainda maiores.

Para concluir

Quero também avisar-vos de uma última coisa. O amor é a very complex emotion. It’s one that can never be controlled.

There is no switch when it comes to love. You can’t turn your emotions on or off how and when you want. Assim, mesmo depois de coisas finais with the person you truly love, it doesn’t mean that the love you feel for them will disappear overnight.

You’ll need time. A lot of time, actually. To suffer, to recover, to heal, para seguir em frente… You’ll need time to get your life back on track.

However, the most important thing is to think about your own well-being. If you think you deserve more than your soon-to-be ex-partner is giving you, no matter how painful it’ll be, you need to romper com eles e torná-los parte do seu passado.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should completely neglect your partner’s feelings. I’m sure that breaking their heart is the last thing you want to do.

Este guia eficiente sobre como acabar com alguém que ama irá ajudá-lo a terminar as coisas com o seu parceiro da forma menos dolorosa possível para ambos.

It’s nice to take care of other people’s feelings, but remember, you should always be your primary focus and biggest priority in life.

Nothing in this life is worth it if you aren’t happy… Not even such a beautiful emotion like love.