Quando e come rompere con una persona che si ama: 10 regole e regole da non seguire

Letting go of the person you love is definitely the most difficult, heartbreaking thing to do. You’re aware that you’re about to do something that will break your heart into a million pieces, but you’re also aware that it’s the right thing to do.

Ora, la domanda è come rompere con qualcuno che amate? Come si fa a lasciare andare qualcuno a cui si tiene ancora profondamente? È possibile chiudere con una persona per la quale si provano ancora forti sentimenti?

Yes, it’s possible but, to be honest, it’s going to be a hell of a job.

It’ll be a constant battle between your heart and your mind. Da un lato il cuore vi dirà di continuare a lottare per il vostro amore, dall'altro la mente insisterà perché lasciate perdere tutto.

I vostri sentimenti saranno ovunque. Le vostre emozioni e salute mentale sarà un vero disastro. You’ll try not to hurt your partner’s feelings while you’ll be going through crepacuore.

So, if you’re about to sail on this kind of journey, you need to arm yourself with patience and strength because you’ll definitely need it.

How To Break Up With Someone You Love: 10 Important Dos And Don’ts

There are some things you need to do if you want to end things the right way and have a clean break with your significant other. On the other hand, there are some things you should never, but really never, do if you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings.

​I decided to make these two lists of dos and don’ts for rompere con qualcuno you love, and I hope it’ll be helpful to you.

I dosaggi della rottura con una persona amata

Quindi, se volete rendere il vostro rottura Il vostro matrimonio è il più indolore possibile, sia per voi che per il vostro partner, ecco cosa dovete fare:

Conversare seriamente con il proprio partner

Onesto e aperto la comunicazione èsenza dubbio, la parte più significativa di ogni relazione sana. La prima volta che iniziate a pensare a una rottura, dovreste condividere questi pensieri con il vostro partner.

Se lo fate in tempo, potreste avere la possibilità di salvare la vostra relazione.

However, if you’ve already decided to end things, and you’re one hundred percent sure that it’s the only right thing to do, you should sit down and have a serious conversation with your SO.

Parlate di tutte le cose che vi hanno portato a prendere questa decisione.

Siate completamente onesti con loro. Spiegate tutti i motivi per cui avete deciso di porre fine alla vostra relazione.

You can admit that you still love them, but don’t give them falsa speranza if you’ve already made up your mind and firmly decided to end things with them. They probably won’t understand and accept it, but try to explain that it’s really for the best.

Faccia a faccia

Questo è un must assoluto. Se lo fate tramite un testo o un telefonata, it’ll only hurt them more, and you’ll show that you’re nothing but a huge coward.

Just because you’re breaking up with your partner doesn’t give you the right to treat them any less than how you treated them while you were in a romantic relationship.

Questa persona ha fatto parte della vostra vita per qualche tempo e avete creato dei bellissimi ricordi insieme. Il minimo che possiate fare è dare loro un vero e proprio, faccia a faccia addio.

Take your partner’s feelings into consideration

If you still love your soon-to-be ex-partner, I’m sure that the last thing you want to do is break their heart. That’s why you need to break up with them in the least painful way possible.

You need to pay attention to the time and place when you tell them about your decision. However, you shouldn’t beat around the bush too much because it definitely won’t make the breakup any easier for them.

Be upfront about your decision. Be honest and admit that you still love them but that it’s not the same kind of love you felt for them at the beginning.

Tuttavia, se scegliete ancora di farlo tramite testo, potreste trovare queste messaggi di testo di rottura utile.

Scegliere un'interruzione netta

Don’t offer them ‘let’s stay friends’ or ‘you’ll always have a true friend in me’ or the most cliché one of all, the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. You can only stay as those “friends” who never call to check up, and you’ll only end up hating each other for real.

Una volta che decidete di separarvi, dovete davvero separare le vostre strade, e ognuno di voi deve percorrere la strada che ha scelto per sé.

Of course, it would be nice to promise each other that you’ll always respect and cherish the time you spent together, but that’s all. If you really want to leave it all and move on with your life as soon as possible, you should really try to make a clean break.

Major Don’ts When It Comes To Leaving Your Loved One

​Keep scrolling down if you want to find out what the biggest no-nos are when it comes to breaking up with a person you still have strong feelings for.

Il ghosting è assolutamente da evitare

Ghosting è la cosa peggiore che si possa fare a una persona che per qualche tempo è stata una parte importante della vostra vita. Questo dimostrerebbe solo che non l'avete mai amato veramente e trasformerebbe tutto l'amore che provano per voi in odio.

I know it’s not easy to end things with someone who still means so much to you, but as much as you need to take care of your feelings, you should pay attention to your partner’s feelings too.

They will be hurt no matter how you break up with them – it’s inevitable. But, fantasma them would only show that you don’t respect them enough to give them proper closure.

Also, it would mean that you aren’t brave enough to stand behind your actions and that you don’t have the dignity to porre fine alla relazione faccia a faccia.

Don’t even think about taking some time apart first

Il vostro partner probabilmente vi suggerirà di prendere una rottura della relazione e riflettere sulla vostra relazione prima di prendere una decisione definitiva.

However, if you accept this, it’ll only give them false hope. They will start thinking that you aren’t completely sure about your decision and that there is still hope per salvare la vostra relazione o di ricominciare da capo.

I think this wouldn’t be fair to do to a person you love, right? So, if your SO suggests a relationship break, you should gently reject their offer and explain that your decision is final and that you don’t plan to change it, no matter what.

Don’t break up in a public place

The first reason why you shouldn’t do it in a public place is that it might make the situation even worse for your partner.

They might think that you were afraid to do it in private and that you’re using those people around you to make the breakup as fast as possible.

I know it would be nice to avoid creating a scene in front of other people, but I’m sure your partner would like for you to do it while you two are alone. You don’t know what their reaction will be, but you must be ready to handle it the best way possible.

Separazione in privato e farlo faccia a faccia dimostrerà loro che avete ancora rispetto e cura per loro e per i loro sentimenti.

Don’t give them false hope

L'ho già detto sopra, ma devo sottolinearlo di nuovo. Una volta presa la decisione di separarsi, è necessario attenersi a quella decisione e affrontare tutto ciò che ne consegue.

If you’re interested in dare un'altra possibilità alla vostra relazione, then you should suggest a relationship break. You shouldn’t tell them that you’re ending things for good with them.

Don’t even think about breakup sex

As crazy as it sounds, most couples practice breakup sex nowadays. I don’t know if it’s because they want to have fun one last time (right before fasi di rottura kick in) or because they think it’ll make them change their mind, but, in my opinion, it’s absolutely freaking crazy.

Quindi, sesso di rottura è fuori discussione. It can only confuse you and make you think that you’ve made a hasty decision and that you should try per risolvere le cose invece di lasciarsi.

I don’t care if your partner is a model or they’re begging you on their knees to do it one last time; you have to hold your horses and control your desires.

Come capire quando rompere con qualcuno che si ama? 10 enormi bandiere rosse

I know it’s difficult to make the decision rompere con qualcuno che si ama ancora, ma a volte, purtroppo, è necessario farlo per preservare la propria salute emotiva e mentale.

There are a few red flags that it’s time to porre fine alla relazione, and I have listed the major ones below. So, keep reading…

You’ve tried couple’s therapy, but…

It didn’t work. No matter how much you try and try… No matter how much effort you’re putting into sistemare la vostra relazione, things just don’t get better.

You’ve tried many different couple’s therapies, and you’ve followed all the relationship expert advice you get, but nothing has helped to make your relationship better.

Then, you know what you have to do… You need to prevent your relationship from draining you. Salva te stesso e lasciarlo nel tuo passato una volta per tutte e lasciarlo alle spalle.

Continuate a lasciarvi e a tornare insieme

If you two are stuck in the awful cycle of breaking up and getting back together, it’s obvious that you still share strong feelings for each other that won’t allow you to separate forever.

Tuttavia, è bene sapere che l'amore non è mai abbastanza per far funzionare una relazione.

Sooner or later, you’ll understand that it doesn’t lead anywhere. You’ll realize that you will never be able to maintain una relazione sana, and it’ll make you break up once again. But this time, it’ll be for real and for good.

You’re the one making all the effort

Una relazione è e deve essere sempre una strada a doppio senso. The respect, your feelings, and all the effort you’re putting into making your relationship work must be reciprocated.

If that’s not the case, if you feel that you’re the only one who is trying to maintain the relationship, it’s a clear sign that the other side doesn’t love you nello stesso modo in cui voi li amate.

One day, you’ll get tired of it all, and you’ll make a definite and final decision. You’ll allontanarsi, and you’ll never even want to look back.

Non c'è più fiducia o rispetto nella vostra relazione.

Immagino che tutti conosciamo il base fondamentale di ogni relazione sana. La fiducia e il rispetto sono la base.

If you feel that you’re being disrespected or that you can’t trust your partner anymore, it’s a very clear red flag that you need to allontanarsi da quella relazione.

Your loved ones aren’t supportive of your relationship

“If nobody in the community supports your relationship, that’s a red flag,“ dice Lindsay Chrisler, esperta di relazioni di coppia con sede a New York.

Of course, this doesn’t have to be a definite sign that you should end things with your romantic partner, but I’m sure there is a good reason why those close to you don’t support your relationship.

It’s probably because they think your partner doesn’t deserve you. Il fatto è che il vostro persone care vogliono solo il meglio per voi e dovreste assolutamente prendere in considerazione la loro opinione sulla vostra relazione.

There’s a rift between you

Le persone cambiano. Feelings fade away… You start growing apart from your partner without even being aware of it.

One day, you just wake up and realize that nothing is the way it used to be. You know that your partner isn’t making you happy like they did before.

You realize that your relationship isn’t as close as it was before. And no matter how much you try, it just seems that it’s impossible per riconnettersi e ricominciare a crescere insieme al vostro compagno.

Drifting apart is one of the clearest signs that you should rethink your relationship and decide whether you should continue dating a person you don’t feel all that close to anymore.

You’re experiencing any form of abuse

Non importa quanto si voglia bene a qualcuno, non si dovrebbe mai sopportare una persona irrispettosa o comportamento abusivo. Ricordate che una persona che vi ama sinceramente non vi farebbe mai del male continuamente e di proposito.

You shouldn’t have to explain yourself to anyone because you’re the only one who is truly important. Mettete un enorme punto fermo sul vostro relazione abusiva e chiudere per sempre quel capitolo della vostra vita.

I litigi sono diventati una parte normale della vostra relazione.

Per essere chiari, tutte le coppie litigano. I piccoli disaccordi di tanto in tanto sono una parte del tutto normale. di una relazione sana.

However, once those ‘occasional fights’ become ‘contact fights,’ it’s really time to walk away from your relationship. Otherwise, it’ll only result in making your relationship toxic and ruining your mental health.

D'altra parte, la passione l'ha lasciata da tempo

Quando la scintilla scatta nella vostra relazione, siate certi che l'amore la seguirà. Certo, la scintilla non potrà mai essere forte come quando avete iniziato a frequentarvi, ma non dovrebbe nemmeno svanire del tutto.

La mia migliore amica ha recentemente chiuso la sua relazione. E sapete cosa mi ha detto quando le ho chiesto cosa fosse successo? Devo proprio citarla perché quella frase mi è rimasta impressa nella mente.

Ha detto, “Trust and passion left the relationship many moons ago. Now it’s time I left it too.”

You’re thinking about the breakup all the time

If you’re constantly thinking about ending your relationship, it’s probably because you have more than one reason to do so.

You aren’t happy in that relationship, and you see breaking up as your only salvation. And you know what? You have every right to do so. You have every right to let go of anything that doesn’t make you happy.

La vita è troppo breve to waste your precious time on the wrong people and things that can’t make you happy.

Come superare una rottura con una persona che si ama: 10 passi importanti

So, if you’re interested in this part, I assume you have already finished with the breakup conversation.

Quando un relazione romantica comes to an end, one side will always end up hurt, and, unfortunately, it’s inevitable.

Se provate ancora intensi sentimenti romantici per il vostro ex partner, it’s perfectly normal that you’ll suffer dopo il rottura. However, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never be able to recover from it and move on with your life.

L'elaborazione del lutto e la guarigione dopo una rottura is a long and exhausting process. But, unfortunately, you have to go through that process if you want to move on. I’ve prepared a few pieces of relationship expert advice for you below that will help you get through it all a bit faster.

Concedetevi un po' di tempo per riposare

Now you’ve got time to do all the things you wanted to do before, but the only thing you should do right now is take a very deep breath and relax.

Datevi tempo. Take a rest. Let both your mind and heart take a rest from everything and everyone else. It’s something that you owe yourself. Have some alone time and don’t think about your relationship, your ex-partner, or fasi di rottura affatto.

Just try to relax and imagine that you’re the only person left in the world. Because the truth is, no one else actually matters besides you.

Interrompere i contatti dopo la rottura

I suppose you’ve heard of the famous regola del divieto di contatto after the breakup. Now, you need to put that rule into practice immediately after you’ve finished with the breakup conversation.

So, this means no texts or phone calls to your ex-romantic partner. You really need to cut off communication after you’ve decided to end things.

La maggior parte esperti di relazioni concordare che la regola del non contatto è l'UNICO modo efficace per superare un rottura e andare avanti con la propria vita.

I migliori amici sono sempre la migliore terapia

If you’re feeling cuore spezzato, I know a cure that will definitely help you feel better. That incredible cure is called ‘migliori amici.’

They are the people who love you the most and who will do just about anything to make you feel better. They’ll help you collect and glue each and every part of your broken heart back together, and they’ll stand right beside you at every step of your grieving and healing process.

Stare lontani dai social media per un po' di tempo

La cosa migliore per voi sarebbe quella di prendere un piccolo disintossicazione dai social media. It’s just so you don’t check if your ex is online or what they are sharing all the time.

Trovate qualcos'altro che vi tenga occupati. Leggete libri, il vostro oroscopo o cercate di imparare una nuova abilità utile, ad esempio una nuova lingua. Se continuate a spiare il vostro ex su social media, it’ll be an enormous rompiscatole per il vostro processo di guarigione e di avanzamento.

Fare i conti con la propria situazione

Your situation isn’t actually that good and clear, right? So, what? There are so many people in a similar or even the same situation as you are.

Suck it up. You’ve made the decision, and now all you can do is stand behind it. Accettate tutto questo come un'enorme lezione che la vostra vita sta cercando di insegnarvi.

Accettare e accogliere i propri sentimenti

Don’t ever fight your feelings. Of course, I get you. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you need to lasciare andare qualcuno you’re still deeply in love with.

Ma la verità è che alcune persone conserveranno per sempre un posto nel nostro cuore e non si può fare assolutamente nulla per cambiarlo. Potete solo accettarlo e sperare che il tempo sia dalla vostra parte e faccia svanire questi sentimenti.

L'ultima cosa che dovete fare in questo momento è reprimere i vostri sentimenti. Può influire sulla vostra salute mentale nel modo peggiore possibile.

Confidarsi con un familiare

After you decide to part ways with your significant other, the only thing you shouldn’t do is shut yourself off from your loved ones.

I know you’re riding on a real emotional rollercoaster, but, trust me, you’ll feel much better if you share your sorrows with someone else.

Open up to someone you trust the most, whether it’s your best friend or a family member. Who knows, they may even give you some good advice and help you get over it all faster.

Don’t jump into a new relationship

When you’re in il periodo di non contatto after the breakup, it’s a huge no-no for you to start dating other people.

You’re currently in a period of your life where you need to put all your focus and attention on yourself.

You’re in a period of your life when it’s high time to innamorarsi di se stessi e iniziare a frequentare quella persona fantastica che vedete ogni mattina allo specchio.

You may think that dating other people will help you forget about your ex-partner faster, but the fact is that it’s such tomfoolery. You can’t fall in love with someone else as long as your ex is still firmly settled in your heart.

Concedetevi un po' di tempo

In poche parole, è il momento di spostare tutta l'attenzione su di sé. Dovete coccolarvi al massimo perché semplicemente ve lo meritate.

Do things you always wanted but didn’t have the opportunity to do before. Take a wellness day. Fill up the online shopping cart and buy yourself everything you want. Un po' di terapia al dettaglio non ha mai ucciso nessuno, giusto?

Credere nel potere del tempo

Fidatevi di me, il tempo guarisce. It has no magical power to make your feelings for someone disappear, but it’ll definitely help you recover from your emotional wounds.

The first time you give yourself time to grieve and heal in peace, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Don’t put the “I’m okay, I’ve moved on” mask on because by doing that, you’ll only be reprimere i propri sentimenti.

Dovete essere abbastanza forti da accettare tutte le vostre emozioni, quelle positive ma anche quelle negative. Altrimenti, state certi che prima o poi tutti quei sentimenti repressi verranno a galla e causeranno danni ancora maggiori.

Per concludere

Voglio anche avvertirvi di un'ultima cosa. L'amore è a very complex emotion. It’s one that can never be controlled.

There is no switch when it comes to love. You can’t turn your emotions on or off how and when you want. Quindi, anche dopo aver fine delle cose with the person you truly love, it doesn’t mean that the love you feel for them will disappear overnight.

You’ll need time. A lot of time, actually. To suffer, to recover, to heal, per andare avanti… You’ll need time to get your life back on track.

However, the most important thing is to think about your own well-being. If you think you deserve more than your soon-to-be ex-partner is giving you, no matter how painful it’ll be, you need to rottura con loro e farli diventare parte del vostro passato.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should completely neglect your partner’s feelings. I’m sure that breaking their heart is the last thing you want to do.

Questa efficace guida su come rompere con una persona amata vi aiuterà a chiudere con il vostro partner nel modo meno doloroso possibile per entrambi.

It’s nice to take care of other people’s feelings, but remember, you should always be your primary focus and biggest priority in life.

Nothing in this life is worth it if you aren’t happy… Not even such a beautiful emotion like love.