Como convidar um rapaz para um encontro? 12 dicas para ter sucesso

Once upon a time, men were the only ones who had the privilege of asking out a woman they liked. They were the ones making the first moves and the ones initiating all the communication. So basically, if you were a woman in the past and if you liked a guy, you couldn’t do anything about it, except patiently waiting for him to take a hint and to take the first step.

Mas, felizmente para ambos os sexos, esses tempos já lá vão. Convidar um rapaz para um encontro já não é algo chocante. Em vez disso, é uma coisa perfeitamente natural e normal.

And it is something you plan on doing, as well. There is this guy you might have met on a dating app or in a real life. Either way, the point is the same. You are crazy about him, but he isn’t making any moves, and you are not sure whether ele também gosta de si.

Instead of waiting for him to do something about it, to read your mind and to magically find out about your feelings, you’ve decided to ask him out on a date. But you don’t know how to do it.
Well, you’ve come to the right place because you are about to read 12 proven ways and pieces of advice on how to ask a guy you like on a date.

1. Pense nas suas expectativas

Antes de convidar um rapaz de quem gosta para sair, em primeiro lugar, tem de ser clara e honesta consigo própria. Pense nas suas expectativas em relação a este encontro.

Onde tenciona traçar a linha se o primeiro encontro happens? How far are you ready to go for him to say ‘yes’ to your invitation?

O que é que espera deste encontro? Quer conhecê-lo melhor e ver até onde a noite vos leva?

Ou tenciona convidá-lo para sua casa se o encontro for bem sucedido? Vê este rapaz como o seu futuro namorado e alguém com quem pode desenvolver uma ligação mais profunda, se ele estiver disposto a isso?

Espera que ele aceite sair consigo imediatamente? Ou acha que existe a possibilidade de ele rejeitar a sua proposta?

These are all the questions you should ask yourself before making the first move. Even though it is clear that you can’t have an impact how everything will turn out, and you can’t know his view on things, it is important for you to know what you want. This way, you’ll prepare yourself more, and you’ll have a chance to play your cards just right.

2. Ver se ele gosta de si

O próximo passo deve ser tentar perceber se esse rapaz gosta de si. Ele vê-a como mais do que uma amiga ou pensa em si como um dos rapazes? É possível que ele também goste de si, mas é tímido e tem medo de ser rejeitado?

If this is someone you talk to on a regular basis, pay close attention to the non-verbal signs he’s been sending you. Can you see any signs of flirting in this man’s behavior?

Ele toca no seu braço ou perna quando está a falar? Tenta manter o contacto visual? Elogia-a? Faz o possível para a fazer rir?

Se a resposta a pelo menos algumas destas perguntas for positiva, então é mais do que óbvio que ele gosta de si, mas tem dificuldade em dar o primeiro passo. Lembre-se de que nem todos os homens são iguais e que alguns deles, incluindo este, precisam de um pouco mais de garantias de que a rapariga de quem gostam também gosta deles antes de a convidar para sair.

If this is the case with the object of your affection, just go for it. Propose a date activity for the two of you, and I promise you that you won’t get a ‘no’ for an answer.

But on the other hand, there is the possibility that the man you like isn’t showing you any hints that he might see you as more than a friend. Or the two of you don’t have any contact whatsoever, so you can’t tell. This might be some random dude you saw in the bar or a friend of a friend.

De qualquer modo, quando é este o caso, é crucial que se exponha antes de dar qualquer passo. Ele tem de começar a percebê-la como a mulher atraente que é antes de deixar cair o convite.

Don’t be scared to flirt with him when you see him in person. Like his social media posts or “accidentally” show up somewhere where you know you could meet him.

O objetivo é enviar-lhe sinais não verbais e ver se obtém algum feedback. Certifique-se apenas de que não exagera e de que leva as coisas com calma.

3. Reforçar a sua confiança

Talking to the man you like, let alone asking him out on a date and making the first move, can be scary, and it is everything but easy. So don’t beat yourself up if you are insecure about this. It is perfectly natural to feel this way.

Mas, por outro lado, o medo não a leva a lado nenhum e só pode fazer com que perca a sua oportunidade com ele. Por isso, o que precisa de fazer é encontrar formas de aumentar a sua confiança antes de dar esse passo.

Em vez de pensar em todas as formas de este homem pode rejeitar-tepense de forma positiva. Em vez de pensar demasiado em tudo o que pode correr mal, seja otimista e pense no melhor cenário possível.

Esteja certa das suas capacidades e livre-se de todos os pensamentos ansiosos e negativos que possam estar a passar pela sua cabeça. E mesmo que se sinta nervosa quando se aproximar dele, dê o seu melhor para
que ele não a veja. Sim, um pouco de insegurança é giro, mas em demasia pode afastar o rapaz.

Go shopping or change your hairstyle—whatever will make you feel better about yourself. Think about everything you’ve accomplished in life so far, and stop considering this date as such a big deal.

Antes de o convidar para sair, pense em todas as boas qualidades que tem. Concentre-se nas coisas os homens acham atraente sobre si e sobre as suas boas capacidades sociais.

Coloque-se em frente ao espelho e elogie-se. Descubra o que mais gosta em si e concentre-se nisso.

Lembra-te que és inteligente, engraçado e espirituoso. Tu consegues!

4. Convidá-lo para sair com os amigos

If you are too shy to ask a guy you like on a date, just ask him to hang out with friends. That will definitely take a lot of the pressure away. This way, you’ll get a chance to get to know him better and to see if he has feelings for you without putting yourself out there too much and without taking a concrete step.

The only problem that might occur with this approach is that he might not get the hint. This man might think that you are really asking him out as one of your buddies and that might put you in the friend zone. And let’s face it—this is the last thing you want.

Por isso, o melhor que tem a fazer é escolher bem esta atividade de grupo. Planeie algo que também lhe dê a oportunidade de passar algum tempo a sós com ele.

The best type of a group date is one with couples, and make sure he knows it, as well. Be clear and don’t make things awkward by putting him in a situation where he isn’t aware of your intentions.

5. Pedir a um amigo para falar com ele

Another tip for asking a man out is to ask your mutual friend to talk to him. But don’t get me wrong—this is not me advising you to have your best friend ask this guy out on your behalf because that is something you should never allow to happen. The only way your friend can ask him out is on a group date, where you’ll be present, as well.

Ter outra pessoa a fazer o seu trabalho e convidar o homem de quem gosta para um encontro em seu nome só mostra que é demasiado imatura e insegura. É infantil e mostra que está a dar muita importância a tudo isto, o que só pode afastar este homem de si.

Instead, ask a friend just to talk to this guy about you, without making anything too obvious. Ask them to mention you in front of him or to propose inviting you to the next group activity. This can help you see this guy’s reaction, and it will make him think of you more.

6. Think of the way you’ll ask him out

The next step into this process is thinking about the way you’ll ask this guy out. Will you do it through a texto doce? Vai fazer uma chamada telefónica? Ou vai perguntar-lhe cara a cara?

One of the great ways to do it is just to write a little post-it note on which you’ll leave your name and number. I know this might sound cheesy at first glance, but the truth is that it is quite romantic. Besides, it works like a charm with men you don’t know so well, and it will lead you to success with a guy you keep seeing in the gym or with someone who goes to class with you but you don’t have a chance to approach him.

If you plan on asking this guy out in person, make sure that the two of you are not in an overly crowded place while you do it. It can be awkward to make this proposition in front of other people, so choose a private place and a stress-free environment to take this step. I am not saying that you have to be alone with this man to ask him out, but make sure you pick a semi-isolated place where you’ll have a chance to say what you have in mind without anyone interrupting you.

If you can’t seem to catch this guy alone, approach him while he is with other people. Just ask him if you can get a second of his time, and move away from the group.

Lembre-se de iniciar a sua conversa com um pouco de conversa fiada antes de fazer a pergunta. Torne o ambiente o mais relaxante possível e, quando o fizer, faça a proposta, sem pausas dramáticas e sem que pareça uma grande coisa.

Por outro lado, se tiver demasiado medo de o convidar para sair pessoalmente, faça-o por telefone. É muito melhor telefonar-lhe do que enviar-lhe uma mensagem de texto, porque mostra que ainda tem um certo nível de autoestima.

You can just start your conversation casually and proceed with telling him about your intentions. You might also add that he doesn’t have to give you an answer right away. He can get back to you when he makes a decision. Just make sure not to sound too desperate!

7. O timing é tudo

Besides thinking about the place and the way in which you’ll ask your crush on a date, you should have in mind that the timing is crucial as well. There is a huge difference between sending a late night drunk text or calling at a reasonable hour. That will also have an impact on his decision and the further course of events.

Além disso, seria fantástico se fizesse uma pequena pesquisa sobre o passado deste homem, porque precisa de ter a certeza de que ele é solteiro e está emocionalmente disponível antes de fazer qualquer coisa.

I know you expect him to tell you about his relationship status as soon as you starting talking about your potential date, but sadly, things aren’t always like that, so it is better to be sure. The last thing you want is to be someone’s hidden affair or rebound girl.

8. Inventar uma desculpa para o convidar para sair

If you are shy about asking your crush on a date, a great way to do it is to make up an excuse for seeing him, and therefore, not make this get together an ‘official’ date. This way, you’ll avoid the potential awkwardness, but you’ll still have the chance of getting to conhecer melhor este homem e de se aproximar dele.

If you guys work together or are in the same class, tell him that you need his help about a project. Tell him that there is something you don’t understand regarding work or school and that you would appreciate if he could give you a hand. The same goes with men you meet at some other activities, such as language courses, the gym or some other sport you train on together.

Assim que conseguir que ele concorde em ajudá-lo, convide-o casualmente para um café. Pode até convidá-lo para um jantar, de forma a mostrar a sua gratidão e apreço.

But what if you can’t think of anything you might need from your crush? Well, there is a solution for that, as well. Have you ever heard of the extra ticket trick, where you tell your crush that you have a spare ticket for an event that you’d like to visit and that you know he would enjoy seeing?

Também pode dizer-lhe que precisa de alguém que o acompanhe a uma atividade de grupo em que só haverá casais. Seja qual for a sua escolha, certifique-se de que a sua paixão percebe que quer ser mais do que amiga quando o convencer a sair consigo.

9. Ser direto

Um dos conselhos mais importantes que pode receber quando se trata de qualquer encontro romântico é ser direto. E marcar o primeiro encontro não é exceção.

Esquece os jogos mentais, os sinais contraditórios or the chase. After all, you are the one who is initiating all of this, so you can’t be the one beating around the bush.

Therefore, when you finally decide when, where and how to ask out this guy you are into, the best thing you can do is to be clear about your intentions. You don’t have to dramatize things. It is better to keep everything simple. Just look him in the eyes (if you are doing it in person), be as relaxed as possible, and simply ask him if he is willing to go out sometime and that is it.

10. Think about this guy’s interests

Before proposing a date to someone, you need to think about this person’s interests and preferences. Because let’s face it—you won’t invite a hard rock metal fan to a county music concert, will you?

What you need to do is do a little research about the things he enjoys doing and how he likes spending his time before planning your first date. You’ll probably have all the information you need available on his social media accounts. It would be the best if the two of you have some common interest and for you to put the focus on the things you both enjoy doing, while thinking about the things you two might do on this date.

11. Planear um encontro noturno

O passo seguinte é planear o encontro. Embora possa pensar que isto é algo em que deve pensar depois de o objeto do seu afeto concordar em sair consigo, seria muito melhor se o planeasse com antecedência.

A verdade é que a sua cara-metade concordará mais depressa se lhe propuser uma atividade já planeada, como ir ao cinema ou a um concerto. Desta forma, basta perguntar-lhe se ele quer ir consigo de uma forma descontraída.

You can also ask him if he wants to grab a coffee but make sure to set a clear date because asking him to go out “some time” is pretty vague. Besides, he’ll probably accept this type of invite, but there is less possibility that the date night will actually happen.

So instead of going with this approach, think of a fun first date activity that would be a great way of spending time together, and propose it to your crush. Make sure it is something you’d both enjoy.

For example, inviting him to the movies can turn out to be great because it gives you an opportunity to be physically close during the film, and that is when you’ll see if he is ready to make a move. It also clears a lot of pressure because you can always comment on the film afterwards. Therefore, you will avoid the awkward silence which isn’t uncommon for first dates.

Also, when you pick a movie, choose something that will interest both of you. Don’t go with a typical chick film or a romantic comedy that might bore him. But don’t choose something you don’t like either. After all, you should be enjoying yourself on this date as well, and the last thing you want is to appear to be a agradar às pessoas.

12. Pensar no pior cenário possível

Even though the best thing you can do is to be optimistic, it also always a great idea to think of the worst case scenario. Let’s face it—there always exists a possibility for this man to turn you down and for things not to go down as you planned.

And if something like this happens, make sure not to freak out about it. After all, he is entitled to say that he doesn’t want to go out with you, isn’t he?

There is a possibility that he is taken, that he likes someone else or that he is simply not into you. Either way, you shouldn’t question his motives and reasons. If he declines or if you see that he isn’t up for it, stepping back gracefully is the only thing you ought to do. Remember that having someone turn you down before the first date is always better than having him break your heart afterwards.

If this happens, please don’t fall into desperation because it is not the end of the world. Yes, you like him, but you’ll get over it.

Em vez disso, orgulha-te de ti próprio. Revelaste-te um verdadeiro mauzão e mostraste que estás acima de todos os teus medos e inseguranças.

You know that you’ve tried and that you gave your best, so you can have a clear conscience. Remember that rejection is always better than regret.