¿Cómo pedir una cita a un chico? 12 consejos para tener éxito

Once upon a time, men were the only ones who had the privilege of asking out a woman they liked. They were the ones making the first moves and the ones initiating all the communication. So basically, if you were a woman in the past and if you liked a guy, you couldn’t do anything about it, except patiently waiting for him to take a hint and to take the first step.

Pero, por suerte para ambos sexos, esos tiempos ya pasaron. Pedir una cita a un chico ya no es algo chocante. Por el contrario, es algo perfectamente natural y normal.

And it is something you plan on doing, as well. There is this guy you might have met on a dating app or in a real life. Either way, the point is the same. You are crazy about him, but he isn’t making any moves, and you are not sure whether le gustas de vuelta.

Instead of waiting for him to do something about it, to read your mind and to magically find out about your feelings, you’ve decided to ask him out on a date. But you don’t know how to do it.
Well, you’ve come to the right place because you are about to read 12 proven ways and pieces of advice on how to ask a guy you like on a date.

1. Piense en sus expectativas

Antes de invitar a salir a un chico que te gusta, en primer lugar tienes que ser clara y sincera contigo misma. Piensa en lo que esperas de esa cita.

¿Dónde piensa trazar la línea si el primera cita happens? How far are you ready to go for him to say ‘yes’ to your invitation?

¿Qué esperas de esta cita? ¿Quieres conocerle mejor y ver a dónde os lleva la noche?

¿O piensas invitarle a tu casa si la cita tiene éxito? ¿Ves a este chico como tu futuro novio y alguien con quien podrías desarrollar una conexión más profunda si él está dispuesto a ello?

¿Esperas que acepte salir contigo de inmediato? ¿O crees que existe la posibilidad de que rechace tu propuesta?

These are all the questions you should ask yourself before making the first move. Even though it is clear that you can’t have an impact how everything will turn out, and you can’t know his view on things, it is important for you to know what you want. This way, you’ll prepare yourself more, and you’ll have a chance to play your cards just right.

2. Ver si le gustas

El siguiente paso debería ser intentar darte cuenta de si le gustas a este chico. ¿Te ve como algo más que una amiga o te considera como una más? ¿Existe la posibilidad de que le gustes pero sea tímido y tenga miedo al rechazo?

If this is someone you talk to on a regular basis, pay close attention to the non-verbal signs he’s been sending you. Can you see any signs of flirting in this man’s behavior?

¿Te toca el brazo o la pierna cuando habla? ¿Intenta mantener el contacto visual? ¿Le hace cumplidos? ¿Hace todo lo posible por hacerte reír?

Si la respuesta a al menos algunas de estas preguntas es positiva, entonces es más que evidente que le gustas pero le cuesta dar el primer paso. Recuerda que no todos los hombres son iguales y que algunos de ellos, incluido éste, necesitan un poco más de seguridad de que la chica que les gusta les corresponde antes de invitarla a salir.

If this is the case with the object of your affection, just go for it. Propose a date activity for the two of you, and I promise you that you won’t get a ‘no’ for an answer.

But on the other hand, there is the possibility that the man you like isn’t showing you any hints that he might see you as more than a friend. Or the two of you don’t have any contact whatsoever, so you can’t tell. This might be some random dude you saw in the bar or a friend of a friend.

En cualquier caso, cuando esto ocurre, es crucial que te expongas antes de hacer ningún movimiento. Tiene que empezar a percibirte como la mujer atractiva que eres antes de soltar la invitación.

Don’t be scared to flirt with him when you see him in person. Like his social media posts or “accidentally” show up somewhere where you know you could meet him.

La cuestión es enviarle señales no verbales y ver si recibes alguna respuesta. Asegúrate de no exagerar y de tomarte las cosas con calma.

3. Aumenta tu confianza

Talking to the man you like, let alone asking him out on a date and making the first move, can be scary, and it is everything but easy. So don’t beat yourself up if you are insecure about this. It is perfectly natural to feel this way.

Pero, por otro lado, el miedo no te llevará a ninguna parte, y sólo puede hacer que pierdas tu oportunidad con él. Así que lo que tienes que hacer es encontrar la manera de aumentar tu confianza antes de dar el paso.

En lugar de pensar en todas las formas en que este hombre podría rechazartePiense en positivo. En lugar de pensar demasiado en todo lo que podría salir mal, sea optimista y piense en el mejor escenario posible.

Asegúrate de tus capacidades y deshazte de todos los pensamientos ansiosos y negativos que puedan rondarte por la cabeza. Y aunque te sientas nerviosa una vez que te acerques a él, haz todo lo posible por
que no lo vea. Sí, un poco de inseguridad es bonito, pero demasiada puede ahuyentar a ese chico.

Go shopping or change your hairstyle—whatever will make you feel better about yourself. Think about everything you’ve accomplished in life so far, and stop considering this date as such a big deal.

Antes de invitarle a salir, piensa en todas las buenas cualidades que tienes. Concéntrate en las cosas que los hombres encuentran atractiva sobre ti y sobre tus ardientes habilidades sociales.

Ponte delante del espejo y hazte cumplidos. Encuentra lo que más te gusta de ti y concéntrate en ello.

Recuerda que eres inteligente, divertido e ingenioso. Ya lo tienes.

4. Pídele que salga con amigos

If you are too shy to ask a guy you like on a date, just ask him to hang out with friends. That will definitely take a lot of the pressure away. This way, you’ll get a chance to get to know him better and to see if he has feelings for you without putting yourself out there too much and without taking a concrete step.

The only problem that might occur with this approach is that he might not get the hint. This man might think that you are really asking him out as one of your buddies and that might put you in the friend zone. And let’s face it—this is the last thing you want.

Así que lo mejor que puedes hacer es elegir bien esta actividad de grupo. Planea algo que también te dé la oportunidad de pasar un rato a solas con él.

The best type of a group date is one with couples, and make sure he knows it, as well. Be clear and don’t make things awkward by putting him in a situation where he isn’t aware of your intentions.

5. Pídele a un amigo que hable con él

Another tip for asking a man out is to ask your mutual friend to talk to him. But don’t get me wrong—this is not me advising you to have your best friend ask this guy out on your behalf because that is something you should never allow to happen. The only way your friend can ask him out is on a group date, where you’ll be present, as well.

Que otra persona haga tu trabajo y le pida una cita al hombre que te gusta en tu nombre sólo demuestra que eres demasiado inmadura e insegura. Es infantil, y muestra que estás haciendo un gran problema de todo esto, que sólo puede ahuyentar a este hombre de ti.

Instead, ask a friend just to talk to this guy about you, without making anything too obvious. Ask them to mention you in front of him or to propose inviting you to the next group activity. This can help you see this guy’s reaction, and it will make him think of you more.

6. Think of the way you’ll ask him out

The next step into this process is thinking about the way you’ll ask this guy out. Will you do it through a texto dulce? ¿Hará una llamada telefónica? ¿O se lo pedirá cara a cara?

One of the great ways to do it is just to write a little post-it note on which you’ll leave your name and number. I know this might sound cheesy at first glance, but the truth is that it is quite romantic. Besides, it works like a charm with men you don’t know so well, and it will lead you to success with a guy you keep seeing in the gym or with someone who goes to class with you but you don’t have a chance to approach him.

If you plan on asking this guy out in person, make sure that the two of you are not in an overly crowded place while you do it. It can be awkward to make this proposition in front of other people, so choose a private place and a stress-free environment to take this step. I am not saying that you have to be alone with this man to ask him out, but make sure you pick a semi-isolated place where you’ll have a chance to say what you have in mind without anyone interrupting you.

If you can’t seem to catch this guy alone, approach him while he is with other people. Just ask him if you can get a second of his time, and move away from the group.

Acuérdate de empezar la conversación con una pequeña charla antes de hacer la pregunta. Haz que el ambiente sea lo más relajado posible y, una vez que lo hagas, haz la proposición, sin pausas dramáticas y sin que suene a gran cosa.

Por otro lado, si te da miedo invitarle a salir en persona, hazlo por teléfono. Es mucho mejor llamarle que enviarle un mensaje de texto porque demuestra que todavía tienes un cierto nivel de autoestima.

You can just start your conversation casually and proceed with telling him about your intentions. You might also add that he doesn’t have to give you an answer right away. He can get back to you when he makes a decision. Just make sure not to sound too desperate!

7. El momento oportuno lo es todo

Besides thinking about the place and the way in which you’ll ask your crush on a date, you should have in mind that the timing is crucial as well. There is a huge difference between sending a late night drunk text or calling at a reasonable hour. That will also have an impact on his decision and the further course of events.

Además, sería estupendo que hicieras una pequeña búsqueda de antecedentes de este hombre porque necesitas estar segura de que está soltero y emocionalmente disponible antes de hacer nada.

I know you expect him to tell you about his relationship status as soon as you starting talking about your potential date, but sadly, things aren’t always like that, so it is better to be sure. The last thing you want is to be someone’s hidden affair or rebound girl.

8. Inventa una excusa para invitarle a salir

If you are shy about asking your crush on a date, a great way to do it is to make up an excuse for seeing him, and therefore, not make this get together an ‘official’ date. This way, you’ll avoid the potential awkwardness, but you’ll still have the chance of getting to conocer mejor a este hombre y de acercarse a él.

If you guys work together or are in the same class, tell him that you need his help about a project. Tell him that there is something you don’t understand regarding work or school and that you would appreciate if he could give you a hand. The same goes with men you meet at some other activities, such as language courses, the gym or some other sport you train on together.

Cuando consigas que acepte ayudarte, invítale a tomar un café. Incluso puedes invitarle a cenar después, para mostrarle tu gratitud y aprecio.

But what if you can’t think of anything you might need from your crush? Well, there is a solution for that, as well. Have you ever heard of the extra ticket trick, where you tell your crush that you have a spare ticket for an event that you’d like to visit and that you know he would enjoy seeing?

También puedes decirle que necesitas a alguien que te acompañe a una actividad de grupo en la que sólo habrá un puñado de parejas. Decidas lo que decidas, asegúrate de que tu chico capta que quieres que seamos algo más que amigos cuando consigas que salga contigo.

9. Ser directo

Uno de los consejos más importantes en cualquier encuentro romántico es ser directo. Y organizar la primera cita no es una excepción.

Olvídate de los juegos mentales, los señales contradictorias or the chase. After all, you are the one who is initiating all of this, so you can’t be the one beating around the bush.

Therefore, when you finally decide when, where and how to ask out this guy you are into, the best thing you can do is to be clear about your intentions. You don’t have to dramatize things. It is better to keep everything simple. Just look him in the eyes (if you are doing it in person), be as relaxed as possible, and simply ask him if he is willing to go out sometime and that is it.

10. Think about this guy’s interests

Before proposing a date to someone, you need to think about this person’s interests and preferences. Because let’s face it—you won’t invite a hard rock metal fan to a county music concert, will you?

What you need to do is do a little research about the things he enjoys doing and how he likes spending his time before planning your first date. You’ll probably have all the information you need available on his social media accounts. It would be the best if the two of you have some common interest and for you to put the focus on the things you both enjoy doing, while thinking about the things you two might do on this date.

11. Planear una cita nocturna

El siguiente paso es planificar la cita. Aunque se podría pensar que esto es algo que hay que hacer después de que el objeto de tus afectos acepte salir contigo, sería mucho mejor que lo planificaras con antelación.

La verdad es que tu crush aceptará antes si le propones una actividad ya planeada, como ir al cine o a un concierto. De este modo, podrás preguntarle si quiere venir sin prisas.

You can also ask him if he wants to grab a coffee but make sure to set a clear date because asking him to go out “some time” is pretty vague. Besides, he’ll probably accept this type of invite, but there is less possibility that the date night will actually happen.

So instead of going with this approach, think of a fun first date activity that would be a great way of spending time together, and propose it to your crush. Make sure it is something you’d both enjoy.

For example, inviting him to the movies can turn out to be great because it gives you an opportunity to be physically close during the film, and that is when you’ll see if he is ready to make a move. It also clears a lot of pressure because you can always comment on the film afterwards. Therefore, you will avoid the awkward silence which isn’t uncommon for first dates.

Also, when you pick a movie, choose something that will interest both of you. Don’t go with a typical chick film or a romantic comedy that might bore him. But don’t choose something you don’t like either. After all, you should be enjoying yourself on this date as well, and the last thing you want is to appear to be a complacer a la gente.

12. Piensa en el peor escenario posible

Even though the best thing you can do is to be optimistic, it also always a great idea to think of the worst case scenario. Let’s face it—there always exists a possibility for this man to turn you down and for things not to go down as you planned.

And if something like this happens, make sure not to freak out about it. After all, he is entitled to say that he doesn’t want to go out with you, isn’t he?

There is a possibility that he is taken, that he likes someone else or that he is simply not into you. Either way, you shouldn’t question his motives and reasons. If he declines or if you see that he isn’t up for it, stepping back gracefully is the only thing you ought to do. Remember that having someone turn you down before the first date is always better than having him break your heart afterwards.

If this happens, please don’t fall into desperation because it is not the end of the world. Yes, you like him, but you’ll get over it.

En lugar de eso, siéntete orgulloso de ti mismo. Has resultado ser una auténtica badass y has demostrado que estás por encima de todos tus miedos e inseguridades.

You know that you’ve tried and that you gave your best, so you can have a clear conscience. Remember that rejection is always better than regret.