Come chiedere a un ragazzo un appuntamento? 12 consigli per il successo

Once upon a time, men were the only ones who had the privilege of asking out a woman they liked. They were the ones making the first moves and the ones initiating all the communication. So basically, if you were a woman in the past and if you liked a guy, you couldn’t do anything about it, except patiently waiting for him to take a hint and to take the first step.

Ma fortunatamente per entrambi i sessi, quei tempi sono ormai lontani. Chiedere a un ragazzo di uscire con lui non è più qualcosa di scioccante. Al contrario, è una cosa perfettamente naturale e normale da fare.

And it is something you plan on doing, as well. There is this guy you might have met on a dating app or in a real life. Either way, the point is the same. You are crazy about him, but he isn’t making any moves, and you are not sure whether Gli piaci anche tu.

Instead of waiting for him to do something about it, to read your mind and to magically find out about your feelings, you’ve decided to ask him out on a date. But you don’t know how to do it.
Well, you’ve come to the right place because you are about to read 12 proven ways and pieces of advice on how to ask a guy you like on a date.

1. Pensate alle vostre aspettative

Prima di chiedere a un ragazzo che vi piace di uscire, dovete innanzitutto essere chiari e onesti con voi stessi. Pensate alle vostre aspettative per questo appuntamento.

Dove pensate di tracciare la linea di demarcazione se il primo appuntamento happens? How far are you ready to go for him to say ‘yes’ to your invitation?

Cosa vi aspettate da questo appuntamento? Volete conoscerlo meglio e vedere dove vi porterà la serata?

Oppure pensate di invitarlo a casa vostra se l'appuntamento si rivela positivo? Vedete questo ragazzo come il vostro futuro fidanzato e come qualcuno con cui potreste sviluppare un legame più profondo, se lui è disposto a farlo?

Vi aspettate che accetti subito di uscire con voi? O pensate che ci sia la possibilità che rifiuti la vostra proposta?

These are all the questions you should ask yourself before making the first move. Even though it is clear that you can’t have an impact how everything will turn out, and you can’t know his view on things, it is important for you to know what you want. This way, you’ll prepare yourself more, and you’ll have a chance to play your cards just right.

2. Vedere se gli piaci

Il passo successivo dovrebbe essere quello di capire se piaci a questo ragazzo. Vi vede come qualcosa di più di un'amica o vi considera come uno dei ragazzi? C'è la possibilità che tu gli piaccia ma che sia timida e abbia paura di essere rifiutata?

If this is someone you talk to on a regular basis, pay close attention to the non-verbal signs he’s been sending you. Can you see any signs of flirting in this man’s behavior?

Ti tocca il braccio o la gamba quando parla? Cerca di mantenere il contatto visivo? Vi fa dei complimenti? Fa del suo meglio per farvi ridere?

Se la risposta ad almeno alcune di queste domande è positiva, allora è più che ovvio che gli piaci, ma ha difficoltà a fare il primo passo. Ricordate che non tutti gli uomini sono uguali e che alcuni di loro, compreso questo, hanno bisogno di un po' più di rassicurazioni sul fatto di piacere alla ragazza che gli piace prima di chiederle di uscire.

If this is the case with the object of your affection, just go for it. Propose a date activity for the two of you, and I promise you that you won’t get a ‘no’ for an answer.

But on the other hand, there is the possibility that the man you like isn’t showing you any hints that he might see you as more than a friend. Or the two of you don’t have any contact whatsoever, so you can’t tell. This might be some random dude you saw in the bar or a friend of a friend.

In entrambi i casi, è fondamentale che vi mettiate in gioco prima di fare qualsiasi mossa. Lui deve iniziare a percepirvi come la donna attraente che siete prima di lanciare l'invito.

Don’t be scared to flirt with him when you see him in person. Like his social media posts or “accidentally” show up somewhere where you know you could meet him.

Il punto è inviargli segnali non verbali e vedere se riceve un feedback. Assicuratevi di non esagerare e di fare le cose con calma.

3. Aumentare la fiducia in se stessi

Talking to the man you like, let alone asking him out on a date and making the first move, can be scary, and it is everything but easy. So don’t beat yourself up if you are insecure about this. It is perfectly natural to feel this way.

D'altra parte, la paura non vi porterà da nessuna parte e vi farà solo perdere la vostra occasione con lui. Quindi, quello che dovete fare è trovare il modo di aumentare la vostra fiducia in voi stesse prima di fare questa mossa.

Invece di pensare a tutti i modi in cui quest'uomo potrebbe respingertipensare in modo positivo. Invece di pensare a tutto ciò che potrebbe andare storto, siate ottimisti e pensate al miglior scenario possibile.

Siate certe delle vostre capacità e liberatevi di tutti i pensieri ansiosi e negativi che vi passano per la testa. E anche se vi sentite nervosi una volta avvicinati a lui, fate del vostro meglio per
non lo vedesse. Sì, un po' di insicurezza è carina, ma troppa può allontanare questo ragazzo.

Go shopping or change your hairstyle—whatever will make you feel better about yourself. Think about everything you’ve accomplished in life so far, and stop considering this date as such a big deal.

Prima di chiedergli di uscire, pensate a tutte le buone qualità che avete. Concentratevi sulle cose gli uomini trovano attraente su di voi e sulle vostre abilità sociali.

Mettetevi davanti allo specchio e complimentatevi con voi stessi. Trovate l'aspetto che più vi piace di voi stessi e concentratevi su quello.

Ricordate che siete intelligenti, divertenti e spiritosi. Ci siete riusciti!

4. Chiedergli di uscire con gli amici

If you are too shy to ask a guy you like on a date, just ask him to hang out with friends. That will definitely take a lot of the pressure away. This way, you’ll get a chance to get to know him better and to see if he has feelings for you without putting yourself out there too much and without taking a concrete step.

The only problem that might occur with this approach is that he might not get the hint. This man might think that you are really asking him out as one of your buddies and that might put you in the friend zone. And let’s face it—this is the last thing you want.

Quindi, la cosa migliore da fare è scegliere saggiamente questa attività di gruppo. Programmate qualcosa che vi dia la possibilità di trascorrere del tempo a tu per tu con lui.

The best type of a group date is one with couples, and make sure he knows it, as well. Be clear and don’t make things awkward by putting him in a situation where he isn’t aware of your intentions.

5. Chiedere a un amico di parlargli

Another tip for asking a man out is to ask your mutual friend to talk to him. But don’t get me wrong—this is not me advising you to have your best friend ask this guy out on your behalf because that is something you should never allow to happen. The only way your friend can ask him out is on a group date, where you’ll be present, as well.

Se qualcun altro fa il vostro lavoro e chiede all'uomo che vi piace un appuntamento a vostro nome, dimostrate solo di essere troppo immature e insicure. È infantile e dimostra che ne state facendo un dramma, il che non può che allontanare quest'uomo da voi.

Instead, ask a friend just to talk to this guy about you, without making anything too obvious. Ask them to mention you in front of him or to propose inviting you to the next group activity. This can help you see this guy’s reaction, and it will make him think of you more.

6. Think of the way you’ll ask him out

The next step into this process is thinking about the way you’ll ask this guy out. Will you do it through a testo dolce? Farete una telefonata? O glielo chiederai di persona?

One of the great ways to do it is just to write a little post-it note on which you’ll leave your name and number. I know this might sound cheesy at first glance, but the truth is that it is quite romantic. Besides, it works like a charm with men you don’t know so well, and it will lead you to success with a guy you keep seeing in the gym or with someone who goes to class with you but you don’t have a chance to approach him.

If you plan on asking this guy out in person, make sure that the two of you are not in an overly crowded place while you do it. It can be awkward to make this proposition in front of other people, so choose a private place and a stress-free environment to take this step. I am not saying that you have to be alone with this man to ask him out, but make sure you pick a semi-isolated place where you’ll have a chance to say what you have in mind without anyone interrupting you.

If you can’t seem to catch this guy alone, approach him while he is with other people. Just ask him if you can get a second of his time, and move away from the group.

Ricordate di iniziare la conversazione con un po' di chiacchiere prima di fare la domanda. Rendete l'atmosfera il più rilassante possibile e, una volta fatta, fate la proposta, senza pause drammatiche e senza che sembri una cosa importante.

D'altra parte, se avete troppa paura di chiedergli di uscire di persona, fatelo per telefono. È molto meglio chiamarlo che mandargli un messaggio, perché dimostra che avete ancora un certo livello di autostima.

You can just start your conversation casually and proceed with telling him about your intentions. You might also add that he doesn’t have to give you an answer right away. He can get back to you when he makes a decision. Just make sure not to sound too desperate!

7. Il tempismo è tutto

Besides thinking about the place and the way in which you’ll ask your crush on a date, you should have in mind that the timing is crucial as well. There is a huge difference between sending a late night drunk text or calling at a reasonable hour. That will also have an impact on his decision and the further course of events.

Inoltre, sarebbe fantastico se faceste un po' di ricerche su quest'uomo, perché dovete essere sicure che sia single ed emotivamente disponibile prima di fare qualsiasi cosa.

I know you expect him to tell you about his relationship status as soon as you starting talking about your potential date, but sadly, things aren’t always like that, so it is better to be sure. The last thing you want is to be someone’s hidden affair or rebound girl.

8. Inventare una scusa sul motivo per cui gli state chiedendo di uscire.

If you are shy about asking your crush on a date, a great way to do it is to make up an excuse for seeing him, and therefore, not make this get together an ‘official’ date. This way, you’ll avoid the potential awkwardness, but you’ll still have the chance of getting to conoscere meglio quest'uomo e di avvicinarsi a lui.

If you guys work together or are in the same class, tell him that you need his help about a project. Tell him that there is something you don’t understand regarding work or school and that you would appreciate if he could give you a hand. The same goes with men you meet at some other activities, such as language courses, the gym or some other sport you train on together.

Una volta ottenuto il consenso ad aiutarvi, chiedetegli casualmente un caffè. Potete anche invitarlo a cena per dimostrargli la vostra gratitudine e il vostro apprezzamento.

But what if you can’t think of anything you might need from your crush? Well, there is a solution for that, as well. Have you ever heard of the extra ticket trick, where you tell your crush that you have a spare ticket for an event that you’d like to visit and that you know he would enjoy seeing?

Potete anche dirgli che avete bisogno di qualcuno che vi accompagni a un'attività di gruppo in cui ci saranno solo coppie. Qualunque cosa scegliate di fare, assicuratevi che la vostra cotta capisca che volete essere più che amici una volta che lo avrete convinto a uscire con voi.

9. Essere diretti

Uno dei consigli più importanti che si possono ricevere in ogni incontro romantico è quello di essere diretti. E l'organizzazione del primo appuntamento non fa eccezione.

Dimenticate i giochi mentali, le segnali contrastanti or the chase. After all, you are the one who is initiating all of this, so you can’t be the one beating around the bush.

Therefore, when you finally decide when, where and how to ask out this guy you are into, the best thing you can do is to be clear about your intentions. You don’t have to dramatize things. It is better to keep everything simple. Just look him in the eyes (if you are doing it in person), be as relaxed as possible, and simply ask him if he is willing to go out sometime and that is it.

10. Think about this guy’s interests

Before proposing a date to someone, you need to think about this person’s interests and preferences. Because let’s face it—you won’t invite a hard rock metal fan to a county music concert, will you?

What you need to do is do a little research about the things he enjoys doing and how he likes spending his time before planning your first date. You’ll probably have all the information you need available on his social media accounts. It would be the best if the two of you have some common interest and for you to put the focus on the things you both enjoy doing, while thinking about the things you two might do on this date.

11. Organizzare una serata con gli amici

Il passo successivo è la pianificazione dell'appuntamento. Sebbene si possa pensare che si tratti di qualcosa a cui pensare dopo che l'oggetto del vostro affetto ha accettato di uscire con voi, sarebbe molto meglio pianificarlo in anticipo.

La verità è che la vostra cotta accetterà prima se gli proponete un'attività già programmata, come andare al cinema o a un concerto. In questo modo, potrete semplicemente chiedergli se vuole venire con voi in modo rilassato.

You can also ask him if he wants to grab a coffee but make sure to set a clear date because asking him to go out “some time” is pretty vague. Besides, he’ll probably accept this type of invite, but there is less possibility that the date night will actually happen.

So instead of going with this approach, think of a fun first date activity that would be a great way of spending time together, and propose it to your crush. Make sure it is something you’d both enjoy.

For example, inviting him to the movies can turn out to be great because it gives you an opportunity to be physically close during the film, and that is when you’ll see if he is ready to make a move. It also clears a lot of pressure because you can always comment on the film afterwards. Therefore, you will avoid the awkward silence which isn’t uncommon for first dates.

Also, when you pick a movie, choose something that will interest both of you. Don’t go with a typical chick film or a romantic comedy that might bore him. But don’t choose something you don’t like either. After all, you should be enjoying yourself on this date as well, and the last thing you want is to appear to be a persone che piacciono.

12. Pensare allo scenario peggiore

Even though the best thing you can do is to be optimistic, it also always a great idea to think of the worst case scenario. Let’s face it—there always exists a possibility for this man to turn you down and for things not to go down as you planned.

And if something like this happens, make sure not to freak out about it. After all, he is entitled to say that he doesn’t want to go out with you, isn’t he?

There is a possibility that he is taken, that he likes someone else or that he is simply not into you. Either way, you shouldn’t question his motives and reasons. If he declines or if you see that he isn’t up for it, stepping back gracefully is the only thing you ought to do. Remember that having someone turn you down before the first date is always better than having him break your heart afterwards.

If this happens, please don’t fall into desperation because it is not the end of the world. Yes, you like him, but you’ll get over it.

Invece, siate orgogliosi di voi stessi. Vi siete rivelati dei veri duri e avete dimostrato di essere al di sopra di tutte le vostre paure e insicurezze.

You know that you’ve tried and that you gave your best, so you can have a clear conscience. Remember that rejection is always better than regret.