7 confissões honestas que gostaria de poder fazer ao meu ex

There are things I’d like to share with o meu ex, but I can’t.

It’s not that I’m not brave enough to tell him everything that’s on my mind. It’s just that I believe that him knowing about all this is unnecessary and can only cause me more pain.

Maybe there will be time for a perfect closure where I’ll be able to tell him everything, but for now, I’ll open my heart and soul to you.

This is what I’d like to confess to him when the time is right:

Queria que ficasses tão magoada como eu

I sometimes pretended that I wanted nothing but the best for you, but I secretly wished that you’d feel as heartbroken as I was.

Era insuportável para mim pensar que te sentias bem enquanto eu sentia que o meu mundo ia acabar. Tudo me doía tanto e eu esperava que tu sentisses o mesmo.

It’s not that I usually like to see you in any pain, it’s just that would have been proof for me that our love meant something to you.

On one level, I’ll always be available to you

I’ll never again be available to you in the sense I was before, but there’s a part of me that’ll always be weak to your voice, appearance, smell… your existence.

You’ll never be an irrelevant person for me, no matter how distant we’ve grown and how many years might pass.

I won’t be waiting for you, but I can’t guarantee to myself that I’d never get back together with you in certain circumstances.

I’m still not completely fine with us not being together

I’ve moved on with my life, but it felt awful that our relationship ended and I never completely recovered from that.

Partilhámos tanto e, durante algum tempo, acreditei verdadeiramente que eras a pessoa certa.

Even after all this time apart, I’m still not perfectly okay with not being by your side and being able to call myself your girlfriend.

Still, I think that we weren’t meant to be

Even with that, I’m almost certain that I was nunca foi para ser teu forever. There’s something inside my head that tells me you were never the one for me.

Essa voz falava comigo às vezes, mesmo quando estávamos juntos, e eu silenciei-a, e agora uso-a como consolo quando me sinto mal com a nossa separação.

I can’t put a finger on what it was, but something was always missing.

I don’t really miss you, I miss me when I was with you

I can’t really say that I miss having you in my life in a traditional way such as spending time together and doing all the things we did.

What I miss most is the person I was when you were there. I was excited, cheerful, happy… You made me feel so many wonderful emotions and I miss them all.

Dou por mim a pensar em ti e odeio isso

Penso em ti ao acaso e isso incomoda-me. Esses pensamentos aparecem do nada e perturbam-me sempre.

I don’t wish to forget about you, you played an important role in my life. Still, I wish I would think of you less often and not feel your presence all the time.