8 erros estúpidos que a maioria das raparigas comete durante e após o período sem contacto

De certeza que já ouviu falar do período sem contacto.

Basicamente, corta-se todos os laços com o ex durante 30 dias (ou, em casos mais radicais, 3 meses) após a separação para que ele sinta a sua ausência e perceba que sente a sua falta e a quer de volta.

Parece perfeito, certo? Bem, há algumas coisas que a maioria das raparigas faz mal durante e depois deste período, e aqui estão 8 delas.

Remember: It’s up to you to learn from other people’s mistakes and not repeat them.

1. Tornar tudo sobre o teu ex

Say this out loud as many times as you need: This no contact period is not about my ex, it’s about me.

Sim, um dos seus objectivos pode ser tentar recuperá-lomas o objetivo principal é fazer o meu melhor para me curar e consertar o meu coração partido.

Infelizmente, não são muitas as raparigas que sabem isso. Por isso, em vez de usarem estes 30 dias como uma oportunidade para se reerguerem e, pelo menos, tentarem seguir em frente com as suas vidas, fazem com que tudo gire em torno dos seus ex.

Estas raparigas põem literalmente a sua vida em suspenso e passam todo este período à espera que ele regresse.

They focus so much on proving him a point and showing him that they can make it perfectly fine without him that they don’t actually move an inch from the exact place he left them.

So, what is the point of it all? If you do the no contact period this way, you haven’t accomplished anything.

It’s like you just spent another month unhappily dating this guy.

2. Cortar apenas a comunicação

One of the most common mistakes almost every girl makes during the no contact period is understanding the words “no contact” too literally.

You see, this doesn’t mean that you should only stop texting, calling, or talking to this guy in person.

De facto, a ausência de contacto é muito mais do que cortar as linhas de comunicação com o seu ex.

It’s not going to the places you know you might encounter him (not even just to look at him from a safe distance), not talking to your friends about him, not asking questions about his life.

Mais importante ainda, significa não o perseguir no ciberespaço ou perguntar-se constantemente Ele sente a minha falta quando não há contacto??

Sim, ouviste bem. Se quiser fazer isto da forma correcta, não pode escrever o nome dele cem vezes por dia na sua barra de pesquisa.

You can’t scroll through his stories, friends lists, photos, or status updates using a fake profile, and you can’t spend nights rereading your old conversations.

Because if you do so, you’re just pretending that you’re going no contact when in fact you’re still obsessed with him.

All of your effort is in vain if you kick this guy out of your life physically but don’t try to do the same when it comes to your inner self.

Se ele está fora da sua vida, faça o seu melhor para o expulsar da sua cabeça e do seu coração também durante este período e veja o que acontece.

3. Fazer-lhe ciúmes

O período de ausência de contacto não é uma oportunidade para se lançar numa nova relação.

Of course, I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to start dating someone new, but you have to actually like this guy to start something with him.

He shouldn’t serve as a tool to fazer ciúmes ao seu ex.

Trust me when I tell you this: Rebound relationships never brought any good to anyone and they certainly won’t help you repair your broken heart.

In fact, a situationship like this will only make you even more miserable. And that’s the last thing you need at this point.

Besides, you don’t want to be the bad guy here and throw an innocent man directly into your personal drama.

Nobody deserves to be a puppet you’ll only take advantage of until you get what you want from your true love. That is not cool and it certainly isn’t fair.

Afinal de contas, se espera recuperar o seu ex depois de este mês terminar, será muito mais difícil se ele se aperceber que entretanto andou com outra pessoa.

Como é que ele pode confiar no seu amor se conseguiu esquecê-lo e voltar a apaixonar-se neste curto espaço de tempo?

4. Regressar à pessoa que costumava ser

Tal como já referi, o período de ausência de contacto é (ou pelo menos deveria ser) todo dedicado a si.

It’s about turning yourself into the best possible woman you can become, working on yourself, and taking the time to reconsider your relationship and your overall dating and relationship behavior patterns.

Por isso, uma das piores coisas que se pode fazer é voltar a ser o que era no momento em que o relógio bate a meia-noite e o sol nasce no 31º dia.

No, I’m not telling you to change yourself completely and become someone else during this month.

I’m just begging you not to repeat the same mistakes regarding your ex.

I won’t lie to you. There is a possibility of this man não voltar para si.

However, just because you managed to stay out of his life for an entire month, it doesn’t mean you should stalk him after that period is over.

5. Esperar resultados imediatos

Another mistake most girls sadly fail to avoid lies in their lack of patience. You can’t expect results right away, as much as you want them.

No, you won’t wake up the day after the no contact period is over and magically forget that your ex ever existed.

He won’t turn up uninvited, knocking on your door on the 31st day.

Things simply don’t work like that. However, just because miracles you hope for don’t happen right away, it doesn’t mean that results will never come.

So, if you still feel like you can’t live with this guy after this period is over, you can then try to reach out to him.

Pode esforçar-se por estabelecer algum tipo de comunicação com ele ou mesmo dizer-lhe diretamente que quer outra oportunidade.

No entanto, tudo isto deve acontecer da forma mais espontânea possível. Além disso, é um processo que leva tempo.

You can’t just call him out of the blue, asking to voltar a juntar-sea não ser que queiras que ele te veja como uma completa lunática.

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6. Cair no desespero

Esta é também uma coisa que quase todas as raparigas fazem após o período sem contacto: entrar em desespero porque nada aconteceu.

Even if your ex doesn’t contact you, even if he doesn’t accept your attempts to get back into his life, it is não é o fim do mundo.

It is not a green light for you to get all depressed and convince yourself that you’ll never find someone to love and who’ll love you back.

Não é um sinal de que se deva deixar levar pela dor ou de que deva desistir do seu futuro romântico.

Yes, the fact that he obviously doesn’t want to get back together sucks. And it hurts like hell.

Therefore, you’re allowed to grieve for some time. However, stop looking at it as the biggest disaster that could strike you.

Instead, see it as a valuable lesson. There are times when you do everything right and play by the book yet still don’t get the result you wanted.

And that is all part of life. It’s not fair, I know, but you’ll just have to find a way to deal with it.

Just remember that you made it without this guy for an entire month, so you’ll without doubt succeed and keep on living without him from this day on.

7. Regressar às edições anteriores

No entanto, se o período sem contacto funciona out for the best and you manage to get your ex boyfriend back, don’t ruin this second chance you two got by going back to your old problems.

Of course, you shouldn’t ignore them and expect them to solve themselves, but please, don’t make it the centre of your relationship.

Don’t see this reconciliation as a chance to nag this guy about every little thing he’s ever done to you.

O melhor seria se vocês os dois conseguissem resolver tudo logo no início.

Quando ambos concordam que podem e querem reconstruir a vossa relação, deixa de haver ressentimentos e rancores.

Leave the past in the past, where it belongs, and don’t let it ruin your present and future.

You can’t change what happened, so why burden both you and your boyfriend with it?

Otherwise, don’t expect a different outcome than the last time.

If you keep on bringing up the past instead of focusing on how to make things better this time round, you’ll be just dragging both of you back into this endless circle of drama, and it’ll be just a matter of time before you split ways once more.

Mas, desta vez, será para sempre.

8. Ficar amigos

You still have strong romantic feelings about this guy, there’s no doubt about that.

Mesmo assim manter a amizade com o ex is a great thing, it’s simply not possible in this scenario.

Don’t use friendship as an excuse to stay close to him.

Don’t lead yourself on and waste more of your precious time, waiting for something that will never come.

Besides, you shouldn’t settle for crumbs of this man’s love and attention when you very well know it that he can’t give you his heart and the type of love you want from him.

Why would you even think of torturing yourself and going through this charade, when it’s painfully obvious that you’ll just end up more heartbroken than before?

Even if he asks you to be friends, don’t pretend to be indifferent and accept his proposal.

Don’t worry, there is absolutely nothing desperate in coming clean about your emotions and honestly telling this guy that you two can’t be friends.