5 sinais de que a regra de não contacto está a funcionar (+5 sinais de que não está)

It’s a well-known fact: if you’re trying to figure out como recuperar o seu ex, going no contact is the right choice. You know most of the rules, but one thing still bugs you: How will you know that you’ve succeeded?

That’s why I’m here. I’ve compiled a list of 5 signs the no contact rule is working. If you can relate to at least three of them, it means you’re on the right track.

5 sinais de que a regra de não contacto está a funcionar

If you’re wondering if the no contact rule is working, take a look at these 5 signs:

1. The world doesn’t revolve around your ex anymore.

Já não espera pelo seu ex para voltar para si. Já não liga a sua felicidade à sua relação com ele. O que tinham era fantástico, mas já não tem qualquer poder sobre si.

You’re able to appreciate the past without letting it affect you to the point where you’re unable to think about anything else.

Em vez de ficar a lamentar-se por ele (o que não tem mal nenhum, a não ser que dure muito tempo), concentra toda a tua energia em melhorar a tua própria vida.

A vida continua

Acho que percebeste o mais importante: a vida continua, com ou sem eles! Fazes os teus trabalhos escolares regularmente ou esforças-te por melhorar o teu desempenho profissional.

Encontra-se com os seus amigos, descobre novos passatempos e parte em pequenas aventuras de vez em quando, porque o seu único objetivo é trazer mais felicidade para a sua vida.

And, you’re aware that you don’t need your ex for that to happen.

As happy as they made you, they were only one part of your life. The other parts won’t crumble just because you lost this one.

As a matter of fact, you didn’t exactly lose it. The happiness you had will always be in your memories, which doesn’t make it any less important.

2. O crescimento pessoal é a sua prioridade.

One of the 5 signs the no contact rule is working is when you start realizing that the heartbreak that came with the breakup wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s never pleasant to cortar um ente querido from your life. Of course, it’s going to hurt like hell. And, you should give yourself as much time as you need.

However, you know you’re doing okay when you don’t look at the past in anger. Whatever your ex did to you doesn’t affect you as it once did.

Desapego emocional do passado

When you talk about them, you almost feel nothing. It’s as if the whole relationship happened to someone else; you just happened to be a spectator that’s retelling all the events now.

You don’t hold quaisquer ressentimentos or wish you could’ve done things differently.

There are no regrets because you’re aware that everything that happened helped you become the person you are today.

And, now you feel excited for the future and everything it holds because no matter how bad things seem, there’s always a lesson in everything.

As Rainer Maria Rilke once said: ”Let everything happen to you; beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

Quando se encontra conforto nesta filosofia, sabe-se que seguiu em frente.

3. O seu bem-estar está em primeiro lugar.

You’ve lost count of how many times you used to put your ex’s needs before your own. The relationship you had with them was at the top of your priority list. Nothing was more important.

Even if your world was crumbling down, you still came every time they needed you. Even after you broke up, you felt like all it would take was one phone call, and you’d be on your way.

But, not anymore…

Um dos 5 sinais que o regra de não contacto está a funcionar é que finalmente se apercebeu que a sua vida é só sobre si. You’ve decided to build a healthy relationship with yourself, and self-improvement has become your number one priority.

Your ex no longer has power over you because you are now aware that they’re only a side character in your very own TV show.

O período de ausência de contacto fez-te compreender que nunca precisaste deles, que mereces ser um pouco mais gentil consigo mesmo.

Cuidar de outras pessoas é bonito, mas torna-se tóxico quando o usamos para fugir de nós próprios.

You didn’t deserve the heartbreak you experienced, but at least it helped you see how much you needed your own love all along.

4. Agora reparas nas outras pessoas.

Costumava estar tão apaixonado pelo seu ex que mal reconhecia outras pessoas atraentes.

No matter how good-looking they were, you didn’t give them more than a second of your time. You had the one you wanted, and no one else existed for you.

É por isso que, provavelmente, teve dificuldades no início da separação.

Mas, depois, começou a notar as mudanças positivas que o período de ausência de contacto trouxe à sua vida. Há definitivamente algo diferente na sua vida amorosa!

Suddenly, pretty people don’t escape your notice. More importantly, you start seeing them as potential partners. And, this makes you so happy.

Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t on your mind anymore. Even when they are, you don’t really miss what you had. You don’t want them back.

You’ve come to terms with the fact that your relationship has ended, and while it was a great chapter in your life, you are more than ready to start a new one.

You allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with someone else because you’ve realized that life is too short, and you can’t grieve over one person forever.

One part of you will probably always care about them, but that doesn’t stop you from forming a connection with someone else.

Relações de ricochete

Mas tenho de vos avisar de algo importante: relações de ricochete. Don’t get me wrong – voltar à piscina dos encontros é um sinal de grande progresso.

No entanto, expor-se é uma coisa. Saltar para um nova relação é algo completamente diferente.

You’re not ready for something serious just yet. If you try, you’ll just hurt yourself and break an innocent person’s heart.

So instead of trying to continue where you left off, give yourself some time to explore your options. Take it easy – this is not a race.

5. O teu ex começa a tentar contactar-te.

Um dos 5 sinais de que a regra de não manter contacto está a funcionar é quando o seu ex lhe tenta falar consigo. O tempo que passaram neste silêncio de rádio fê-los perceber o quanto sentiram a tua falta.

Maybe they won’t be direct about their intentions straight away, but one thing is for sure: o teu ex quer voltar para ti!

Como é que eles o fazem?

They’ll do it through mutual friends or even your best friends and family. On the other hand, a lot of people send “accidental” text messages to their exes or snoop through their social media accounts and start liking all of their posts.

One way or another, when your ex contacts you after the no contact period, it’s a clear sign eles ainda te amam and want you back. There’s no doubt about one thing: sentem a tua falta!

Eles ficarão especialmente curiosos quando virem a nova vida que criou para si.

When they see how much you’re enjoying yourself in their absence, your ex will start wanting you more than ever.

They will be attracted to the new, happy you who is perfectly fine without them. And, that’s how you know that the no contact rule works.

It’s a sad truth, but the more you enjoy being without your ex, the more they want to be with you. Being rejected motivates them to win back your heart.

5 sinais de que a regra de não contacto não está a funcionar

1. You’re not following the rules.

Well, the first one is pretty obvious. You can’t expect the no-contact period to give you the desired results if you’re not following the basic rules.

Sei o que devem estar a pensar agora, But I just sent him one text message. But it was his birthday. But I didn’t call him; I called his mum.

Don’t laugh. I know this is exactly how your mind works. The rule is not called “some contact” or “occasional contact.” It’s called “no contact” for a reason! It means complete silêncio radiofónico durante um determinado período de tempo.

Yes, it includes little things such as liking your ex-boyfriend’s pictures on their social media account and, of course, big things such as buying him a birthday present.

You can’t expect this to work if you modify the rules and do things your own way! I know that every situation is different, but relationship coaches around the world agree on this one, and I promise you they have more experience than you!

2. You’re obsessing over the breakup.

I know you’re trying to make your ex voltar, but no contact won’t work if that’s the only thing you can think about. You should use this period for some serious self-improvement and even do your best to forget about him.

However, you’re doing everything besides that. You’re not spending time with your friends, you haven’t found a new hobby, and you’re most certainly not doing anything about your spiritual growth.

Em vez disso, tudo o que faz é ficar obcecado com a sua recente separação. Not just that: you reanalyze your entire relationship. You keep overthinking this person’s actions, and basically, you’re just patiently waiting for him to come back.

Don’t get me wrong: I know that your primary goal is to recuperar o seu ex. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here, would you?

Nevertheless, the no contact period won’t be beneficial if you sit around and count the days until it’s over. The goal is to distract yourself in the meantime and possibly do something good with your own life.

3. You’re stalking your ex.

So you’ve found a loophole. You’re not actually talking to your ex, you’re not sending him texts, nor do you call him.

But just because you don’t have any direct contact doesn’t mean you haven’t found a way to keep him in your life. Be honest. I know you’ve continued to stalk him!

Porque é que é errado?

No, I’m not saying that you actually follow him around. But you do use the technology you can.

Mesmo que bloqueou-o em todas as redes sociais, you’ve made tons of fake accounts to keep track of his activity. You’re in touch with his family and your mutual friends all the time.

Let’s face it. You’re not hanging out with them because you like them that much. You just want to get information about him.

Well, let me tell you something: they talk to him about you! I know that this is probably what you want, but trust me, it’s not the radio silence you’re going for.

This man has no feeling that you’re gone. He keeps hearing about you, and I bet he knows who is behind all those fake accounts.

As a result, he feels like you’re still around. This way, he doesn’t get the chance to miss you. At the same time, you don’t get the chance to get over him!

4. Arrepende-se da sua decisão.

It’s one thing not to be 100% sure about your decision. After all, you’re only human, and it’s normal to occasionally have second thoughts, especially when you’re in a crisis. Nobody told you this was going to go smoothly.

However, we’re not talking about short periods here. As far as you’re concerned, you should have never started this entire mess.

Truth be told, you regret going no contact, and if you could go back in time, you’d do everything differently. You keep on wondering como recuperar o seu ex, sem condições e sem perguntas.

O que é que acontece a seguir?

You won’t admit this out loud, but you’re ready to do whatever it takes to make your ex come back – even if it inclui a mendicidade e baixar os seus padrões.

If this is something you can relate to, I hate to say it, but the no contact rule isn’t working! You’re focused on the wrong things, you’re sending negative vibrations into the Universe, and honestly, you likely won’t make it.

I don’t plan on dashing your hopes, but if you regret your decision so badly, I assume you’ll reach out to them soon. And that’s where we go back to the first of the 5 signs the no contact rule is not working.

5. Your ex doesn’t reach out.

Let’s get one thing straight: you’re doing all of this to recuperar o seu ex, am I right? So naturally, if your ex reaches out, it’s one of the 5 signs the no contact rule is working. On the other hand, if he remains silent, you haven’t gotten the desired results.

Fez tudo de acordo com as regras, mas depois de terminado o período sem contacto, recebeu não há notícias dele. Raramente acontece, mas acontece na mesma!

Does it mean that you’ve done all of this for nothing?

Terá sido tudo em vão?

Bem, de certeza que não. After all, what else should you be doing? Don’t tell me it would be better if you begged him to come back.

Besides, I’m sure this period of time helped you as well. You’ve changed your focus, and whether you’re aware of it or not, the no contact period has helped your healing process.

I’m not saying that you’ve gotten over your ex completely. But hey, you think about other stuff other than just wondering if your ex wants to talk to you or not.

That’s some serious progress right there! Look at it this way: you’ve survived sem esta pessoa durante tanto tempo! Não é fantástico?

Quais são as fases da ausência de contacto?

It depends on whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee. Did you go no contact, or did the other person go no contact first?

Como já devem saber, o dumper decide acabar com as coisas, enquanto a pessoa que está a ser abandonada é que está a ser abandonada. Como se pode imaginar, cada um passa por uma gama diferente de emoções.

Se you’re the dumpeeO utilizador passa pelas seguintes fases:

Stage 1 – Heartbreak

É óbvio que sim, you’re heartbroken. You can’t eat, sleep or breathe without this person. Sente-se a falta deles like hell, and you’re ready to do whatever it takes just to get your ex back.

​For you, the Earth has stopped spinning. Life has lost its meaning, and you see no light at the end of the tunnel.

You’re shattered in pieces, and the only way to come back from the dead is for your ex to come back.

Stage 2 – Epiphany

After that, there comes an epiphany. You start to realize it’s better this way. You don’t need them in your life, and losing them was actually a blessing in disguise.

You can live without them, and you’ll survive this. Not just that: once you heal, you’ll be stronger than ever.

It’s like you’ve taken your rose-tinted glasses off and see this person for who they really are for the first time ever. They never deserved you, and you’re lucky they cut you off!

Stage 3 – Self-love

Finalmente, a cereja no topo do bolo: amor-próprio. Aprende a pôr-se em primeiro lugar e a perceber o seu valor.

Instead of focusing on your past, you invest all of your energy in the future. You don’t mind being single. As a matter of fact, you enjoy it!

On the other hand, if you’re the one who ended the relationship, these are the stages you go through and the pensamentos que passam pela sua mente:

Stage 1 – Relief

No início, the dumper thinks they’ve made the decision of a lifetime. They finally got the strength to end this relationship. They’re single and free to do whatever they want, without anyone questioning their moves.

Stage 2 – Worry

Passado algum tempo, começam a preocupar-se perderam-no. Their ex isn’t reaching out, isn’t that strange? Is it possible that they forgot about them?

Quer queiram quer não, começam a questionar a sua decisão.

Stage 3 – Jealousy and fear

A fase seguinte inclui muita inveja e ainda mais medo! O seu pior pesadelo está a tornar-se realidade: a pessoa que contavam que estaria sempre presente desapareceu da sua vida.

Their ex isn’t reaching out, they’re not sending any hints, and it looks like they’ve really moved on with their life!

Stage 4 – Regret

Não lhes resta outra alternativa senão arrependerem-se da sua decisão. They fall into despair and agony. Now, they’re the ones going through heartbreak.

Finally, they suffer the consequences of their actions. They realize that this person’s absence is the worst thing that could ever happen to them, and they finally ver o seu valor.

Stage 5 – Reaching out

After all the thinking and analyzing, they’ve made a decision: they’ll do their best to ter uma segunda oportunidade. Alguns serão directos e implorarão por isso, enquanto outros o farão de forma mais subtil.

Seja como for, o resultado final é o mesmo!

Quanto tempo é necessário para que a regra de não contacto funcione?

O período mínimo de tempo para a regra de não contacto para fazer a sua magia é de 30 dias, mas, por vezes, pode durar até 90 dias. After this period of no contact is over, your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend will either come back to you, or you’ll get over them.

But please keep this in mind: you won’t make your ex miss you, nor will the no contact rule work if you don’t stick to the rules.

Qual é a taxa de sucesso da regra de não contacto?

De acordo com a maioria dos treinadores de relações, a taxa de sucesso da fase de ausência de contacto é de cerca de 90%. Isto significa que 9 em cada 10 pessoas contactam os seus ex, de uma forma ou de outra, depois de terem deixado de fumar e cortá-los completamente!

O que é que a falta de contacto faz a um homem?

No início do fase sem contacto, most men feel anger and humiliation. Their ego is hurt more than their heart – they can’t believe their ex feels nothing for them anymore.

However, after a while, they get scared. They realize that their former partner is serious, and they keep on getting clear signs she’s moved on.

Por fim, entram em desespero. Nesta altura, o homem está pronto a fazer tudo o que for preciso para acabar com esta agonia.

A terminar:

Being familiar with the 5 signs the no contact rule is working and 5 signs it’s not is essential! Se quiser atingir o seu objetivo, tem de ser claro quanto ao seu progresso.

Are you headed in the right direction, or are you doing everything wrong? If you’ve realized you’ve cometeu alguns erros, don’t see it as the end of the world – you still have enough time to make things right!