Guia sobre como lidar com estados de espírito difíceis numa relação
Every couple goes through different moods in their relationship. Your relationship moods can shift from great and exciting to boring or bad and overall, that’s a normal thing.
No entanto, por vezes, temos de parar e perguntar a nós próprios se o mau humor frequente é normal. Será que o mau humor constante montanhas-russas emocionais habitual?
Do they affect your everyday life? Do they make you feel too sad too often? Do they lower your or your partner’s autoestima?
Por muito que amemos o nosso parceiro, por vezes o seu comportamento desequilibrado pode ser avassalador.
Everyone has bad days but they are easy to overcome. What’s important is to notice when a ‘bad day’ becomes something more serious.
Como navegar pelos estados de espírito das relações
Seja solidário
What’s better than having someone to be there for you when you’re upset or sad? Especially if it’s your significant other.
Neste caso Estados vulneráveisPrecisamos de alguém que nos diga que tudo vai correr bem, porque vai.
Moods come and go and if they don’t, there are possible solutions that can help a person to balance their inner world.
That’s why it’s so important to be supportive of your partner when they are going through a tough time.
Se notar que as suas mudanças de humor tomam conta da sua vida, não deixe de o apoiar e de o ajudar tanto quanto possível.
Ninguém quer estar sozinho quando o seu mundo está a desmoronar-se.
Por vezes estar presente para alguém means a conversation about the things that bother them, sometimes it’s making them lunch or taking them someplace they love and sometimes it’s just the act of physically holding them, hugging or kissing.
Cada pessoa tem uma perceção diferente do apoio e é você quem melhor conhece o seu parceiro. Faça pequenas coisas que tenham um grande significado para ele e, mais importante, ouça-o.
Don’t take things personally
There’s one frequent mistake a lot of people make in a close relationship. Whenever their partner’s in a bad mood, they assume it’s because of something they’ve done.
Usually, this isn’t even close to the truth. If your partner is grumpy, sad or mad, it doesn’t mean it’s because of you.
However, when a moody partner takes their frustration or dissatisfaction out on the other partner, that’s a red flag, especially if it happens too often.
Falar sobre o assunto
Normalmente, se a pessoa de quem cuida ficar perturbada ou mudar de humor, ela vai querer falar sobre o assunto, mas também vai precisar de um pouco de incentivo no início.
Try to be gentle and open and make them feel safe. Make sure they know you won’t judge them or not take them seriously.
Muitas pessoas que têm problemas de saúde mental têm dificuldade em admitir esses problemas a si próprias, quanto mais aos outros.
Exponha os seus sentimentos e exprima o seu desejo de os ajudar, se puder. Tente manter-se neutro, mas faça perguntas e espere que a pessoa se abra.
Another thing you should do is try to bring up the topic when they’re not upset.
Falar, iniciando as conversas certas, é muito importante para as relações, porque demonstra cuidado e representa a iniciativa de melhorar as coisas.
Dar-lhes algum tempo a sós
Por muito que amemos o nosso parceiro, por vezes precisamos de tempo a sós. It’s the same for them.
Whenever their mood drastically changes, it means there’s something going on in their mind and heart and they need time to sort it out.
Sometimes they need you and sometimes they just need to be on their own. Don’t take this personally because it’s not something to be offended by.
Try to give them space. If you live together, try to leave them alone in the room they’re in or go outside.
Just be sure to let them know you’re there for them and that they can talk to you whenever they want but refrain from asking them about mundane things you can take care of by yourself.
Utilize esse tempo para fazer algo que lhe apeteça numa divisão separada e tente não se preocupar com o seu parceiro. Faça tudo o que estiver ao seu alcance para o deixar fazer o que tem de fazer.
Don’t neglect yourself
Aconteça o que acontecer, nunca se negligencie por causa de outra pessoa.
Sim, toda a gente precisa de ajuda, mas também precisa de trabalhar as suas emoções negativas. Ninguém pode mudar isso a não ser elas próprias.
Don’t beat yourself up about the things you can’t control. You need to learn to separate yourself from your partner. You deserve to be happy the same way they do.
A sua saúde mental e o seu bem-estar também são importantes. Se o seu parceiro o ama, compreenderá que também precisa de apoio.
Remember that whatever your partner’s going through will pass and don’t let it crush you. Take time to care for yourself as well.
Talk to other people, do your work, take care of your body and don’t stress about the future. In short, practice self-care and mental health care.
In the end, without your own happiness and health, you won’t be able to help them.
Como em todas as coisas na vida, se quisermos ser felizes, temos de começar por nós próprios. Nenhuma outra pessoa o pode fazer por nós.
Abrir-se a eles
Supporting and caring for your partner doesn’t mean you should tiptoe around them all the time.
You’re a person with feelings too and it’s normal that your partner’s mood swings are affecting you too.
That’s why honesty is the best policy, as long as you have the best intentions and discuss the topic with respect and empatia.
Nevertheless, it’s much easier to talk about touchy subjects when both of you are vulnerable.
Mostrar vulnerabilidade cria um espaço seguro para uma pessoa partilhar as partes mais íntimas de si própria.
It shows that they’re not so different from you and that there are ups and downs in the life of every other human being.
Para ter um relação saudável, feelings must be discussed from both sides. Both partners must act maturely and consider each other’s feelings.
Se o seu parceiro ficar chateado com isso, há duas opções.
Pode esperar que se acalmem e tentar falar novamente sobre o assunto ou, se estas situações se repetirem com demasiada frequência, pode pensar em separação.
Saber quando procurar ajuda
If nothing else works for you and your partner, it’s best to seek professional help.
This isn’t scary as it might seem, it’s just a part of real life. It’s normal and a good and solid step towards a healthier relationship and lifestyle.
Por vezes, as coisas estão fora do nosso controlo e o mau humor persistente pode ser apenas um sintoma de algo mais grave, como a doença bipolar, depressão crónica, episódios maníacos, etc.
That’s when you can’t do a lot for your partner without help from other people, such as professionals, family or friends.
Therapy is the best way to deal with difficult and persistent mood swings, though you don’t need to be in this unbalanced emotional state to go to therapy.
Toda a gente tem algumas partes de si que pode melhorar.
This is why therapy is required for your partner but you’ll benefit from it too.
If not that, it’s good to have a friend with whom you can talk freely about these issues. You also need someone to vent to and talk to.
Lidar com os estados de espírito de uma relação pode ser uma tarefa difícil.
You’ll probably ask yourself many times if you’re up to the challenge and if you’re really the right person for your partner.
Don’t stay silent about things that are bothering you but ask your partner to work through the challenges with you.
It’s always easier when there’s a plan and both people are on the same page.
Leave if there’s no compromise
This is hard to hear but it must be said. We can’t control other people and we can’t help someone if they don’t do the same thing for themselves.
You’re not responsible for every aspect of someone else’s life, no matter how much you love them.
It’s their decision in the end. Either they’re going to move forward or stay where they are.
Of course, if you’ve done everything in your power to make things better and nothing has worked, you have every right to continue your life, living on your own terms without feeling guilty.
Embrulhar
Don’t forget that even happy couples sometimes struggle with difficult relationship moods. Mood disorders are not rare but many people ignore them.
What’s important is to react in time and be supportive.
Os seres humanos são criaturas emocionais e muitas das suas reacções e decisões são baseadas em emoções, mesmo quando pensam que estão a pensar racionalmente.
In today’s world, full of junk information, fake social media posts, work-related stress and bad news, it’s not surprising that people get easily overwhelmed.
Difficult relationship moods don’t have to be the end of a relationship.
They can just be periods when you learn a lot more about each other and bond even more. It all depends on the situation you’re in.
