Every couple goes through different moods in their relationship. Your relationship moods can shift from great and exciting to boring or bad and overall, that’s a normal thing.
However, sometimes we need to stop and ask ourself if frequent bad moods are normal. Are constant emotional roller coasters usual?
Do they affect your everyday life? Do they make you feel too sad too often? Do they lower your or your partner’s self-esteem?
No matter how much we love our partner, sometimes their unbalanced behavior can be overwhelming.
Everyone has bad days but they are easy to overcome. What’s important is to notice when a ‘bad day’ becomes something more serious.
How to navigate through relationship moods
What’s better than having someone to be there for you when you’re upset or sad? Especially if it’s your significant other.
In such vulnerable states, we need someone to tell us that everything will be okay because it will.
Moods come and go and if they don’t, there are possible solutions that can help a person to balance their inner world.
That’s why it’s so important to be supportive of your partner when they are going through a tough time.
If you notice their mood swings take control of their life, be sure to be there for them and help them as much as you can.
No one wants to be alone when their world is falling apart.
Sometimes being there for someone means a conversation about the things that bother them, sometimes it’s making them lunch or taking them someplace they love and sometimes it’s just the act of physically holding them, hugging or kissing.
Every person perceives support differently and you know your partner the best. Do little things that will mean a lot to them and most importantly, listen to them.
Don’t take things personally
There’s one frequent mistake a lot of people make in a close relationship. Whenever their partner’s in a bad mood, they assume it’s because of something they’ve done.
Usually, this isn’t even close to the truth. If your partner is grumpy, sad or mad, it doesn’t mean it’s because of you.
However, when a moody partner takes their frustration or dissatisfaction out on the other partner, that’s a red flag, especially if it happens too often.
Talk about it
Usually, if your loved one gets upset or changes their mood, they will want to talk about it but they will also need a little encouragement at first.
Try to be gentle and open and make them feel safe. Make sure they know you won’t judge them or not take them seriously.
Many people who have problems with mental health have a hard time admitting those problems to themselves, let alone others.
State your own feelings and express your wish to help them if you can. Try remaining neutral but ask questions and wait for them to open up.
Another thing you should do is try to bring up the topic when they’re not upset.
Talking by starting the right conversations is so important for relationships because it shows care and represents the initiative to make things better.
Give them some time alone
No matter how much we love our partner, sometimes we need alone time. It’s the same for them.
Whenever their mood drastically changes, it means there’s something going on in their mind and heart and they need time to sort it out.
Sometimes they need you and sometimes they just need to be on their own. Don’t take this personally because it’s not something to be offended by.
Try to give them space. If you live together, try to leave them alone in the room they’re in or go outside.
Just be sure to let them know you’re there for them and that they can talk to you whenever they want but refrain from asking them about mundane things you can take care of by yourself.
Use that time to do something you want in a separate room and try not to worry about your partner. Just do everything you can to let them do what they need to do.
Don’t neglect yourself
No matter what happens, never neglect yourself because of another person.
Yes, everybody needs help but they also need to work on their negative emotions themselves. Nobody can change that but them.
Don’t beat yourself up about the things you can’t control. You need to learn to separate yourself from your partner. You deserve to be happy the same way they do.
Your mental health and well-being are important too. If your partner loves you, they will understand that you need support too.
Remember that whatever your partner’s going through will pass and don’t let it crush you. Take time to care for yourself as well.
Talk to other people, do your work, take care of your body and don’t stress about the future. In short, practice self-care and mental health care.
In the end, without your own happiness and health, you won’t be able to help them.
As with all things in life, if we want to be happy, we need to start with ourself. No other person can do it for us.
Open up to them
Supporting and caring for your partner doesn’t mean you should tiptoe around them all the time.
You’re a person with feelings too and it’s normal that your partner’s mood swings are affecting you too.
That’s why honesty is the best policy, as long as you have the best intentions and discuss the topic with respect and empathy.
Nevertheless, it’s much easier to talk about touchy subjects when both of you are vulnerable.
Showing vulnerability creates a safe space for a person to share the most intimate parts of themselves.
It shows that they’re not so different from you and that there are ups and downs in the life of every other human being.
In order to have a healthy relationship, feelings must be discussed from both sides. Both partners must act maturely and consider each other’s feelings.
If your partner gets upset about it, there are two options.
You can wait for them to calm down and try to talk about it again or if these situations are repeated too often, you can think about separation.
Know when to seek help
If nothing else works for you and your partner, it’s best to seek professional help.
This isn’t scary as it might seem, it’s just a part of real life. It’s normal and a good and solid step towards a healthier relationship and lifestyle.
Sometimes things are out of our control and persistent bad moods can be just a symptom of something more serious, like bipolar disorder, chronic depression, manic episodes, etc.
That’s when you can’t do a lot for your partner without help from other people, such as professionals, family or friends.
Therapy is the best way to deal with difficult and persistent mood swings, though you don’t need to be in this unbalanced emotional state to go to therapy.
Everybody has some parts of themselves they can improve.
This is why therapy is required for your partner but you’ll benefit from it too.
If not that, it’s good to have a friend with whom you can talk freely about these issues. You also need someone to vent to and talk to.
Dealing with relationship moods can feel overwhelming.
You’ll probably ask yourself many times if you’re up to the challenge and if you’re really the right person for your partner.
Don’t stay silent about things that are bothering you but ask your partner to work through the challenges with you.
It’s always easier when there’s a plan and both people are on the same page.
Leave if there’s no compromise
This is hard to hear but it must be said. We can’t control other people and we can’t help someone if they don’t do the same thing for themselves.
You’re not responsible for every aspect of someone else’s life, no matter how much you love them.
It’s their decision in the end. Either they’re going to move forward or stay where they are.
Of course, if you’ve done everything in your power to make things better and nothing has worked, you have every right to continue your life, living on your own terms without feeling guilty.
Don’t forget that even happy couples sometimes struggle with difficult relationship moods. Mood disorders are not rare but many people ignore them.
What’s important is to react in time and be supportive.
Humans are emotional creatures and a lot of their reactions and decisions are based on emotions, even when they think they are thinking rationally.
In today’s world, full of junk information, fake social media posts, work-related stress and bad news, it’s not surprising that people get easily overwhelmed.
Difficult relationship moods don’t have to be the end of a relationship.
They can just be periods when you learn a lot more about each other and bond even more. It all depends on the situation you’re in.