Podes deixá-lo, mas sem perdão, nunca conseguirás seguir em frente

Desde que se separou do seu ex, tem feito tudo o que está ao seu alcance para o expulsar do seu sistema.

You played by the rules—you went no contact, cut all possible ties with him, blocked him everywhere.

Not only that—you even stopped talking about him to your friends, you stopped mentioning his name or listening to songs that remind you of him.

You did everything by the book. You didn’t repress your emotions, you grieved and allowed your heart to heal.

You followed every piece of advice you could find. You didn’t jump into new rebound relationships but you didn’t put your guard up either.

Deixou de esperar ele voltar. Mataste todas as esperanças de que vocês os dois pudessem resolver as coisas.

Nem sequer à procura de uma solução. You accepted that it’s the end and don’t obsess over all the could-have- and should-have-beens.

Parece impressionante, não é? It seems that you let go of this man and that you’re completely cured. Pelo menos, é assim que as coisas devem ser.

However, somehow, you are not getting the desired result. One thing is for sure—you don’t love him anymore.

Nevertheless, you know what’s the problem?

Continuas a odiá-lo. You want to get even and you hope that he’ll suffer the same way you did.

This hatred is eating you alive. It’s overwhelming you the same way your love for him did.After all, it doesn’t really matter what you feel for this guy; the point is that you’re not indifferent toward him.

O que importa é que amá-lo e odiá-lo é a mesma coisa e tem o mesmo efeito. Em ambos os casos, ele está presente na sua mente e no seu coração.

In both cases, he still exists inside of you even though he is out of your life physically. Either way, you’re overwhelmed by thoughts of him.

No, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty about this. Who could blame you for feeling this way, after everything this jerk put you through?

I’m just here to ask you to forgive him because it’s the only way for you to truly move on.

You don’t need to forget everything he’s done but you must find the strength to get rid of this bitterness that’s been killing you.

Let’s be real here—you’re not harming your ex in any way by staying angry at him. This man doesn’t have a conscience and he couldn’t care less about the way you feel.

He is not ashamed of what he’s done to you. In fact, he is probably out there, looking for his next victim whose life he is about to destroy.

Por conseguinte, a única pessoa que está a magoar com esse ódio é a si próprio. O único que sofre as consequências desse rancor pesado é você mesmo.

Isto significa que indiretamente, este homem ainda controla a sua vida. Significa que ele ainda tem uma forma de a fazer infeliz e miserável, sem mexer um dedo.

Então, basicamente, ele ganhou, certo? He’s proven that he is so powerful that he has the ability to be present in you after so much time that he’s been physically absent from your life.

That’s why the only way to remove him forever is to forgive him. It’s to deixar ir do ódio, da raiva e do ressentimento da mesma forma que o deixaste ir.

No, forgiving him doesn’t equate to giving him a second chance. It doesn’t mean applauding him for his misdeeds and it’s not the green light for him to come back into your life.