O meu namorado não quer cortar relações com a ex: 16 dicas úteis
A última coisa que qualquer mulher quer é estar apaixonada por um homem que ainda sente algo pela sua antiga amante. Infelizmente, isso acontece.
Many women end up in such a situationship and by the time they realize it, it’s already too late because they have already developed feelings for that guy.
Now, it’s time to make some confessions. I was in the ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ kind of relationship once and it was heartbreaking. That’s why I understand all of you who are or were going through the same hell.
Fortunately, I have managed to get out of that hell and today, that man is my fiance. By following these tips below, you’ll manage to get out of it too.
Mostrei ao meu namorado o quanto o contacto dele com a ex me magoa, e isso fê-lo cortar o contacto. At that moment, he chose me and proved to me that I’m the only one for him. E espero que os vossos façam o mesmo.
My Boyfriend Won’t Cut Ties With His Ex: 16 Tips To Deal With It
Being in this kind of situation is really a big deal. You simply don’t know what to think about it and what to do. Luckily for you, I’m here to help you. Follow these tips below and you’ll make your man cut ties with his ex-girlfriend.
1. Antes de mais, acalme-se
This is the first and most important step. Calm down and don’t act in the heat of the moment. Otherwise, you’ll only make a huge mistake that you’ll regret in the end.
Reserve algum tempo para si próprio e pense nisso. Think about the reasons your boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex and think about your relationship.
If you really love your man, you’ll have patience and try to be understanding. I know it can really be frustrating but if he says they’re just friends, there is not much you can do about it.
2. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem
Jealousy can seriously damage your self-esteem. If you start suspecting your man is seeing or has feelings for another woman, you’ll immediately think that it’s because of you and it’ll damage your confidence.
That is something you shouldn’t allow, no matter what. Having a good self-esteem will protect you from so many bad things in life and it’ll also push you to accomplish everything you ever dreamed about.
If you lose it, you’ll be a great target for other people to hurt you. Show his ex that you’re confident about yourself, your man and your love. Make it clear that you’re standing behind him, no matter what and that your love is so strong that nothing and none can ruin it.
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3. Proteger a sua saúde emocional e mental
I know it’s not easy to go through this but you need to pay attention to your general well-being. Se continuar obcecado com isso, a sua saúde emocional e mental ficará completamente arruinada.
Dê tempo ao tempo e tente confiar no seu homem. Se ele disser que não se passa nada entre ele e a ex-namorada, confie na palavra dele. O tempo dirá se ele foi realmente honesto consigo ou não.
4. Falar com os vossos amigos em comum sobre o assunto
You can’t and shouldn’t go through this all alone. You should form a support group or talk to a person you’ll be able to share your feelings and fears with.
Pode ser um amigo comum ou um membro da família. Se optar por um amigo comum, deve pedir a opinião dele sobre a sua situação, porque provavelmente ele sabe algo mais sobre a relação anterior do seu homem.
Deixe que as pessoas que lhe são próximas o ajudem. Don’t keep such painful things to yourself because, sooner or later, it’ll all come out on the surface, explode and have terrible consequences.
5. Como era a relação entre eles?
This is very important. And the answer to this question will definitely reveal whether the fact your boyfriend didn’t cut ties with his ex is a red flag or not.
If they were in a serious, lasting relationship and they broke up only a while ago, it’s possible that they still have feelings for each other. Even if they think they don’t, they’ll always remind each other of those memories they had together and that may awaken the old flame.
If their relationship was very short, if they didn’t even bond as romantic lovers, they probably decided it’s better for them to be friends. In this case, you really have nothing to worry about.
6. Don’t let your insecurities make you misunderstand things
Insecurities, insecurities… Frankly, we all have them and we all hate them from our gut. They make you see some things that don’t exist in reality.
Se tem uma baixa autoestima, isso pode levá-lo a pensar que a sua o homem vai deixar-te por outra. That’s why it’s no wonder you’re jealous of his ex he still didn’t cut ties with.
That’s why you need to find a way to silenciar as suas inseguranças. Prove a eles, a si próprio e a todos os outros que o seu amor é muito maior do que as suas inseguranças e tudo o mais que está a impedir a vossa relação.
7. De que é que ele fala com a ex-namorada?
Sabe que tipo de relação é que o seu namorado e a ex dele têm neste momento? De que é que eles falam?
Se falarem da sua relação ou de coisas por que passaram juntos, há definitivamente algo de suspeito.
Por outro lado, se falarem de coisas importantes ou simplesmente como amigos, pode ficar descansado porque provavelmente não se passa nada.
8. Tentar compreender a sua amizade
I know it’s not very common but there are cases where two partners decide to stay friends when they end their romantic relationship. Pode parecer estranho, mas talvez o seu namorado e a ex dele são de facto amigos and that’s the reason they’re still in contact.
Of course, they probably aren’t best friends and they don’t speak 24/7, but they may be friends that text or speak every now and then. Se o seu homem diz que é assim entre eles, deve acreditar nele.
It’s hard to understand and even more difficult to accept, but you’ll need to do it if you want to maintain your relationship.
9. Tentar ser e manter-se realista
Sei que isto é difícil porque os teus sentimentos estão no meio de tudo. No entanto, tens de tentar manter uma perspetiva realista e ver as coisas como elas realmente são.
You love your man and, of course, you’re jealous because he’s still in contact with his ex. However, don’t allow your jealousy to blind you and make you do things that you will only regret later.
By keeping a realistic perspective, you’ll also keep your relationship alive. If you start imagining things that aren’t there, you’ll put your relationship in serious danger.
10. Nunca o acuse de batota sem uma prova legítima
If your boyfriend talks with his ex-girlfriend only when they find themselves at the same place, he’s probably doing it out of courtesy. However, if they talk and text almost every day, then there is probably something going on between them. O seu homem pode voltar a juntar-se à ex.
But, even if that’s true, even if they speak very often, you still can’t accuse him of anything because you don’t have any proof. He isn’t doing anything behind your back, he’s only talking with her.
Se acusá-lo de batota only because he didn’t cut ties with his ex-girlfriend, that may hurt him deeply. So, don’t take any serious steps if you don’t have strong proof for it.
11. Don’t let it destroy your relationship
This can be very difficult to cope with, especially if you’re in a relação à distância. O seu parceiro está longe de si e essas dúvidas que tem estão a matá-lo lentamente todos os dias e sente que não pode fazer absolutamente nada.
If you allow those doubts to harm your relationship, it will only mean that you never sincerely loved your man in the first place and that your relationship isn’t strong enough to survive it.
When two people love each other, they trust one another despite everyone and everything else. They don’t ignore their issues but they always try to find a way to deal with them in a healthy way.
12. Dar-lhe o benefício da dúvida
If you don’t have a strong reason to doubt the fidelity of your man, give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, you’re still with him despite the fact he didn’t cut ties with a sua ex-mulher/namorada, e isso mostra que, de certa forma, ainda confia nele.
Seja compreensiva, tenha paciência e mostre ao seu homem que confia plenamente nele. However, let him also know that if he betrays that trust, he’ll lose you forever.
13. NUNCA lhe dê ultimatos
Isto é algo que muitas pessoas fazem numa relação romântica. Dar ultimatos é um dos erros mais comuns numa relação que leva a uma rutura definitiva.
Quando se ama verdadeiramente alguém, fazer-lhe um ultimato para que escolha entre si e outra pessoa é a última coisa que se deve fazer. Há muitas outras formas de resolver problemas entre si e a sua cara-metade do que dar ultimatos.
O seu ultimato pode deixá-lo zangado e ele pode escolher a outra pessoa para a irritar. Esse ultimato pode custar-lhe apenas a perda do homem que ama.
14. Bisbilhotar as suas mensagens de texto
I’m not generally up for snooping through someone’s private things, however, when you’re in this kind of ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ situation, you should check his phone.
Consulte o seu WhatsApp, Snapchat, Facebook e outras redes sociais. Talvez a prova da infidelidade dele esteja à sua espera no telemóvel dele. Se encontrar mensagens de texto estranhas entre ele e a ex-namorada ou provas de que andavam a fazer sexting, deve acabar com ele o mais depressa possível.
However, be very careful because he shouldn’t catch you snooping through his phone. He’ll know then that tem problemas de confiança e isso pode prejudicar a vossa relação.
15. Ele tem medo de a perder?
Did he ever tell or show you that he’s afraid of losing you? If he has, you have nothing to worry about because your man obviously loves you and his relationship with his ex-girlfriend is simply platonic.
Por outro lado, se ele nunca lhe mostrou isso, deve recordar-lhe como seria a sua vida se a perdesse. Deves dar-lhe uma razão para pensar em perder-te e talvez isso o assuste.
He’s probably used to you and he thinks you won’t ever leave him. However, once you show him that it’s a possibility if he keeps disrespecting you by talking with his ex, he’ll show you whether he’s medo de te perder ou não.
16. Saber quando deixar ir e acabar
Ask yourself a simple question; ‘Does he really love me?’. If you aren’t 100% sure about the way your man feels about you, it’s a huge red flag that he doesn’t really love you.
Those kinds of trust issues can’t be tolerated in a relação saudável. It’s better to break up than to keep smothering both of you with doubts.
And if you find a clear sign that you’re dating a cheater, you should immediately leave him. Actually, the first time you run into proof that he’s being unfaithful to you, you should end your relationship.
Se o perdoar e se mantiver nessa relação, só vai continuar a partir o seu próprio coração. Sometimes, going away and moving on is the hardest thing to do. But it’s also the only choice you have.
É correto que um parceiro continue a falar com o seu ex?
It’s okay but under specific circumstances. If their relationship was long ago and if it wasn’t serious or didn’t last for too long, they probably didn’t even bond like lovers but more like friends and in that situation, it is okay.
On the other hand, if they have just ended their relationship and if it was something serious, then it’s not okay for them to stay friends or to stay in contact. It’ll bother their new partners for sure.
If their new girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t agree with it, they should immediately end contact with their ex. Devem fazê-lo pelo amor e respeito que sentem pelo seu novo parceiro.
Of course, if they still have feelings for their former lover, then it’s a different story. They shouldn’t even engage in a new relationship if sentem algo pelo seu ex.
Como saber se ele ainda ama a ex?
If your boyfriend still talks with his ex, it doesn’t have to mean he’s still in love with her, too. You may consider it as a red flag but it’s definitely not proof that he still has feelings for her.
No entanto, se ele manifestar outros sinais como, por exemplo, falar dela e das recordações que têm com demasiada frequência, visitar as redes sociais dela e mostrar interesse na sua vida amorosa, então deve ficar preocupada.
In the beginning, you may not notice it but the truth is, if your man hasn’t moved on from his past relationship, you’ll figure it out sooner or later. You’ll never be able to break all of his walls and get too near to him.
You’ll realize that you aren’t the only lady in his thoughts and his heart. Maybe you’ll try to deny it at first but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll be able to find a solution that will protect your heart from being broken.
É uma bandeira vermelha se um homem ainda fala com a sua ex?
If they speak only from time to time and on special occasions, then it’s clearly not a bandeira vermelha para a sua relação. However, if they ended their relationship not so long ago and they still text and talk very often, it’s a clear sign something is happening between them.
Talvez o seu namorado veja realmente a ex apenas como uma amiga, mas talvez ela o veja com olhos completamente diferentes. In the end, it’s not so common for guys to stay such great friends with their exes.
A verdade é que haverá sempre alguns sentimentos. Uma das partes desejará sempre, secretamente, voltar a estar com o seu ex.
If they were dating a long time ago and their relationship didn’t last for too much, then they may have really stayed good friends. However, my advice to you is to pay attention to what they talk about and keep your man at a safe distance.
Para terminar
All I have to say to you in the end is good luck. Being in the ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ kind of relationship is heart wrenching.
You can’t stop questioning him, your relationship… absolutely everything all the time and I know how overwhelming that can be.
However, I’m 100% on your side. Your boyfriend needs to leave his previous relationship in the past. Mais importante ainda, ele precisa de lhe mostrar que a escolhe a si em vez de qualquer outra mulher. Essa será a maior prova de amor da parte dele.
But, you need to tell him that. Remember, he’s just a human being, he can’t read your mind. Let him know how hurt you are about the fact he still hasn’t cut ties with his ex and I’m sure it’ll change everything. Once again, good luck and have faith in your love.
