Il mio ragazzo non vuole tagliare i ponti con la sua ex: 16 consigli utili

L'ultima cosa che una donna vuole è essere innamorata di un uomo che prova ancora qualcosa per la sua ex amante. Purtroppo, però, questo accade.

Many women end up in such a situationship and by the time they realize it, it’s already too late because they have already developed feelings for that guy.

Now, it’s time to make some confessions. I was in the ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ kind of relationship once and it was heartbreaking. That’s why I understand all of you who are or were going through the same hell.

Fortunately, I have managed to get out of that hell and today, that man is my fiance. By following these tips below, you’ll manage to get out of it too.

Ho mostrato al mio ragazzo quanto mi facesse male il contatto con la sua ex e questo l'ha spinto a interromperlo. At that moment, he chose me and proved to me that I’m the only one for him. E spero che il vostro faccia lo stesso.

My Boyfriend Won’t Cut Ties With His Ex: 16 Tips To Deal With It

Being in this kind of situation is really a big deal. You simply don’t know what to think about it and what to do. Luckily for you, I’m here to help you. Follow these tips below and you’ll make your man cut ties with his ex-girlfriend.

1. Prima di tutto, calmatevi

This is the first and most important step. Calm down and don’t act in the heat of the moment. Otherwise, you’ll only make a huge mistake that you’ll regret in the end.

Prendetevi un po' di tempo per voi stessi e pensateci. Think about the reasons your boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex and think about your relationship.

If you really love your man, you’ll have patience and try to be understanding. I know it can really be frustrating but if he says they’re just friends, there is not much you can do about it.

2. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem

Jealousy can seriously damage your self-esteem. If you start suspecting your man is seeing or has feelings for another woman, you’ll immediately think that it’s because of you and it’ll damage your confidence.

That is something you shouldn’t allow, no matter what. Having a good self-esteem will protect you from so many bad things in life and it’ll also push you to accomplish everything you ever dreamed about.

If you lose it, you’ll be a great target for other people to hurt you. Show his ex that you’re confident about yourself, your man and your love. Make it clear that you’re standing behind him, no matter what and that your love is so strong that nothing and none can ruin it.

Correlato: 9 modi in cui la gelosia distrugge il vostro rapporto di coppia

3. Proteggere la salute emotiva e mentale

I know it’s not easy to go through this but you need to pay attention to your general well-being. Se continuate ad ossessionarvi, la vostra salute emotiva e mentale sarà completamente rovinata.

Date tempo al tempo e cercate di fidarvi del vostro uomo. Se vi dice che non c'è nulla tra lui e la sua ex ragazza, fidatevi della sua parola. Il tempo ci dirà se è stato davvero onesto con voi o meno.

4. Parlatene con gli amici comuni

You can’t and shouldn’t go through this all alone. You should form a support group or talk to a person you’ll be able to share your feelings and fears with.

Può essere un amico comune o un familiare. Se vi rivolgete a un amico comune, dovreste chiedere la sua opinione sulla vostra situazione, perché probabilmente sa qualcosa di più sulla precedente relazione del vostro uomo.

Lasciate che le persone a voi vicine vi aiutino. Don’t keep such painful things to yourself because, sooner or later, it’ll all come out on the surface, explode and have terrible consequences.

5. Com'era il loro rapporto?

This is very important. And the answer to this question will definitely reveal whether the fact your boyfriend didn’t cut ties with his ex is a red flag or not.

If they were in a serious, lasting relationship and they broke up only a while ago, it’s possible that they still have feelings for each other. Even if they think they don’t, they’ll always remind each other of those memories they had together and that may awaken the old flame.

If their relationship was very short, if they didn’t even bond as romantic lovers, they probably decided it’s better for them to be friends. In this case, you really have nothing to worry about.

6. Don’t let your insecurities make you misunderstand things

Insecurities, insecurities… Frankly, we all have them and we all hate them from our gut. They make you see some things that don’t exist in reality.

Se si ha una bassa autostima, si può pensare che la propria l'uomo ti lascerà per un'altra. That’s why it’s no wonder you’re jealous of his ex he still didn’t cut ties with.

That’s why you need to find a way to mettere a tacere le proprie insicurezze. Dimostrate a loro, a voi stessi e a tutti gli altri che il vostro amore è molto più grande delle vostre insicurezze e di tutto ciò che ostacola la vostra relazione.

7. Di cosa parla con la sua ex ragazza?

Sai che tipo di rapporto hanno il tuo ragazzo e la sua ex in questo momento? Di cosa parlano?

Se parlano della loro relazione o di cose che hanno passato insieme, c'è sicuramente qualcosa di sospetto.

D'altra parte, se parlano di cose importanti o semplicemente come amici, potete stare tranquilli perché probabilmente non c'è nulla di strano.

8. Cercare di capire la loro amicizia

I know it’s not very common but there are cases where two partners decide to stay friends when they end their romantic relationship. Può sembrare imbarazzante, ma forse il tuo ragazzo e la sua ex sono effettivamente amici and that’s the reason they’re still in contact.

Of course, they probably aren’t best friends and they don’t speak 24/7, but they may be friends that text or speak every now and then. Se il vostro uomo dice che è così tra loro, dovreste credergli.

It’s hard to understand and even more difficult to accept, but you’ll need to do it if you want to maintain your relationship.

9. Cercare di essere e rimanere realistici

So che è difficile perché i tuoi sentimenti sono al centro di tutto. Tuttavia, devi cercare di mantenere una prospettiva realistica e vedere le cose per come sono veramente.

You love your man and, of course, you’re jealous because he’s still in contact with his ex. However, don’t allow your jealousy to blind you and make you do things that you will only regret later.

By keeping a realistic perspective, you’ll also keep your relationship alive. If you start imagining things that aren’t there, you’ll put your relationship in serious danger.

10. Non accusatelo mai di aver imbrogliato senza una prova legittima.

If your boyfriend talks with his ex-girlfriend only when they find themselves at the same place, he’s probably doing it out of courtesy. However, if they talk and text almost every day, then there is probably something going on between them. Il vostro uomo potrebbe tornare con la sua ex.

But, even if that’s true, even if they speak very often, you still can’t accuse him of anything because you don’t have any proof. He isn’t doing anything behind your back, he’s only talking with her.

Se accusarlo di aver tradito only because he didn’t cut ties with his ex-girlfriend, that may hurt him deeply. So, don’t take any serious steps if you don’t have strong proof for it.

11. Don’t let it destroy your relationship

This can be very difficult to cope with, especially if you’re in a relazione a distanza. Il vostro partner è lontano da voi e i dubbi che avete vi uccidono lentamente ogni giorno e vi sembra di non poter fare assolutamente nulla.

If you allow those doubts to harm your relationship, it will only mean that you never sincerely loved your man in the first place and that your relationship isn’t strong enough to survive it.

When two people love each other, they trust one another despite everyone and everything else. They don’t ignore their issues but they always  try to find a way to deal with them in a healthy way.

12. Concedergli il beneficio del dubbio

If you don’t have a strong reason to doubt the fidelity of your man, give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, you’re still with him despite the fact he didn’t cut ties with la sua ex moglie/E questo dimostra che, in un certo senso, vi fidate ancora di lui.

Siate comprensive, abbiate pazienza e dimostrate al vostro uomo che vi fidate completamente di lui. However, let him also know that if he betrays that trust, he’ll lose you forever.

13. Non dategli MAI degli ultimatum

È una cosa che molte persone fanno in una relazione sentimentale. Dare ultimatum è uno degli errori di relazione più comuni che porta a una rottura definitiva.

Quando si ama veramente qualcuno, dargli un ultimatum per scegliere tra voi e un'altra persona è l'ultima cosa da fare.. Ci sono tanti altri modi per risolvere i problemi tra voi e il vostro partner, piuttosto che dargli degli ultimatum.

Il vostro ultimatum potrebbe farlo arrabbiare e potrebbe scegliere l'altra persona per farvi un dispetto. L'ultimatum potrebbe costarvi solo la perdita dell'uomo che amate.

14. Frugare nei suoi messaggi di testo

I’m not generally up for snooping through someone’s private things, however, when you’re in this kind of ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ situation, you should check his phone.

Controllate i suoi WhatsApp, Snapchat, Facebook e altri social media. Forse la prova della sua infedeltà vi aspetta sul suo telefono. Se trovate degli strani messaggi di testo tra lui e la sua ex ragazza o la prova che hanno fatto sesso, dovreste lasciarlo il prima possibile.

However, be very careful because he shouldn’t catch you snooping through his phone. He’ll know then that avete problemi di fiducia e questo potrebbe danneggiare la vostra relazione.

15. Ha paura di perderti?

Did he ever tell or show you that he’s afraid of losing you? If he has, you have nothing to worry about because your man obviously loves you and his relationship with his ex-girlfriend is simply platonic.

Se invece non ve lo ha mai dimostrato, dovreste ricordargli come sarebbe la sua vita se vi perdesse. Dovreste dargli un motivo per pensare di perdervi e forse questo lo spaventerà.

He’s probably used to you and he thinks you won’t ever leave him. However, once you show him that it’s a possibility if he keeps disrespecting you by talking with his ex, he’ll show you whether he’s paura di perderti o meno.

16. Sapere quando lasciare e rompere

Ask yourself a simple question; ‘Does he really love me?’. If you aren’t 100% sure about the way your man feels about you, it’s a huge red flag that he doesn’t really love you.

Those kinds of trust issues can’t be tolerated in a relazione sana. It’s better to break up than to keep smothering both of you with doubts.

And if you find a clear sign that you’re dating a cheater, you should immediately leave him. Actually, the first time you run into proof that he’s being unfaithful to you, you should end your relationship.

Perdonandolo e rimanendo in quella relazione, continuerete solo a spezzare il vostro cuore. Sometimes, going away and moving on is the hardest thing to do. But it’s also the only choice you have.

È giusto che il partner parli ancora con l'ex?

It’s okay but under specific circumstances. If their relationship was long ago and if it wasn’t serious or didn’t last for too long, they probably didn’t even bond like lovers but more like friends and in that situation, it is okay.

On the other hand, if they have just ended their relationship and if it was something serious, then it’s not okay for them to stay friends or to stay in contact. It’ll bother their new partners for sure.

If their new girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t agree with it, they should immediately end contact with their ex. Dovrebbero farlo per l'amore e il rispetto che provano per il loro nuovo partner.

Of course, if they still have feelings for their former lover, then it’s a different story. They shouldn’t even engage in a new relationship if provano dei sentimenti per il loro ex.

Come si fa a sapere se ama ancora la sua ex?

If your boyfriend still talks with his ex, it doesn’t have to mean he’s still in love with her, too. You may consider it as a red flag but it’s definitely not proof that he still has feelings for her.

Tuttavia, se manifesta altri segnali come, ad esempio, nominare troppo spesso lei e i ricordi che hanno, visitare i suoi social media e mostrare interesse per la sua vita sentimentale, allora dovreste preoccuparvi.

In the beginning, you may not notice it but the truth is, if your man hasn’t moved on from his past relationship, you’ll figure it out sooner or later. You’ll never be able to break all of his walls and get too near to him.

You’ll realize that you aren’t the only lady in his thoughts and his heart. Maybe you’ll try to deny it at first but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll be able to find a solution that will protect your heart from being broken.

È una bandiera rossa se un ragazzo parla ancora con la sua ex?

If they speak only from time to time and on special occasions, then it’s clearly not a bandiera rossa per la vostra relazione. However, if they ended their relationship not so long ago and they still text and talk very often, it’s a clear sign something is happening between them.

Forse il vostro ragazzo vede la sua ex solo come un'amica, ma forse lei lo vede con occhi completamente diversi. In the end, it’s not so common for guys to stay such great friends with their exes.

La verità è che rimarranno sempre dei sentimenti. Una delle due parti desidererà sempre segretamente tornare con il proprio ex.

If they were dating a long time ago and their relationship didn’t last for too much, then they may have really stayed good friends. However, my advice to you is to pay attention to what they talk about and keep your man at a safe distance.

Per concludere

All I have to say to you in the end is good luck. Being in the ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ kind of relationship is heart wrenching.

You can’t stop questioning him, your relationship… absolutely everything all the time and I know how overwhelming that can be.

However, I’m 100% on your side. Your boyfriend needs to leave his previous relationship in the past. Soprattutto, deve dimostrarvi che sceglie voi piuttosto che ogni altra donna. Questa sarà la più grande prova d'amore da parte sua.

But, you need to tell him that. Remember, he’s just a human being, he can’t read your mind. Let him know how hurt you are about the fact he still hasn’t cut ties with his ex and I’m sure it’ll change everything. Once again, good luck and have faith in your love.