4 maneiras pelas quais um narcisista invalida as suas vítimas

Cada pessoa é única e tem o seu próprio conjunto de qualidades e defeitos. No entanto, todas as pessoas que sofrem de perturbação da personalidade narcísica têm algumas coisas em comum.

Each narcissist has one primary goal: To humiliate and put down his victim. After all, it’s the only way they can feel better about themselves.

Invalidating his victims pumps a narcissist’s ego. It gives him control and incredible satisfaction.

É exatamente assim que o fazem:

Lisonjeador

Todos os narcisistas, sem exceção, se auto-elogiam. Pelo menos, é assim que querem ser vistos aos olhos dos outros, especialmente daqueles que querem invalidar.

Exageram quando se trata das suas realizações. Tudo o que alcançam é ótimo e importante.

When a narcissist talks about himself, he’ll always use superlative only. He’ll present himself as flawless and almost perfect.

At first, you’ll probably admire this man’s high level of self-confidence. You’ll be knocked off your feet by the faith he has in himself.

No entanto, isto é apenas uma máscara. De facto, ele está a fazer tudo isto só para provar a ambos que é melhor do que vocês.

Sem que se aperceba disso, este homem está de facto a competir consigo. Ele está a comparar os seus sucessos e está subtilmente a dizer-lhe que está acima de si em todos os campos da vida. Por outras palavras, he’s trying to destroy your self-esteem. 

When he does this, he doesn’t have to tell you directly that you’re não é suficientemente bom. Em vez disso, o seu gabarolice coloca-o indiretamente em baixo.

Gaslighting

I’m sure you’ve heard about the term, “gaslighting”. It’s a common tactic almost all narcissists use in an attempt to brainwash their victims.

Basicamente, iluminação artificial isn’t typical lying. Instead, it’s more about twisting the truth. 

For example, after your fight with a narcissist is over, he’ll do his best to convince you that things didn’t go the way you remember them.

Even though you know very well what you said or heard, he’ll work at changing your memory and making you believe what he wants you to believe.

If you have never experienced something like this, you’ll probably think it’s utterly impossible. However, trust me, this works more often than you might think.

This way, your abuser places a tiny voice at the back of your mind. A voice that keeps on telling you that you’re the crazy one.

Obviously, you can’t be trusted; you misinterpret things and your brain is playing with you.

Isto é exatamente o que este manipulador quer que pense. Ele quer que confie mais nele do que em si próprio.

Consequently, you’ll start thinking poorly about yourself. You’ll have doubts about your judgment making skills and you’ll fall into this trap.

Suborno emocional

When someone does nice things for you, you assume that they do it because they’re kind, or you see it as proof of their love for you.

However, in the case of a narcissistic person, things are never what they seem. In fact, whenever a narcissist treats you well, it’s all a part of his emotional bribery.

Esta é a pessoa que te fará experimentar tanto as piores como as melhores coisas do mundo. A pessoa que vai abuso emocional e depois comprar-lhe um presente caro.

The person who will make you feel like you’re good for nothing and then surprise you with something you’ve always wanted.

No, this doesn’t mean that he loves you. It’s just this man’s way of playing tricks on you.

Ele quer manter-te ao lado dele, apesar de todo o tratamento horrível que recebes dele. E não é só isso: Ele também quer que te sintas culpada por alguma vez duvidares das suas intenções e emoções.

Para além disso, when a narcissistic person is emotionally bribing you, they want to make themselves needed. They’re making you emotionally dependent on them.

Also, they’re invalidating everything you’ve ever done for them. Every time a narcissist buys you a fancy present or does something nice for you, he wants you to see that he is better than you.

Ele está a tratar-te melhor do que tu alguma vez o trataste. Ele é o tipo de parceiro em que nunca te poderás tornar.

Desmentir os seus sentimentos

“You’re too weak. You’re overly emotional. You’re exaggerating. You’re a real drama queen. You get insulted easily.”

Se já esteve envolvido num caso de manipulador narcisista, I’m sure that you’ve heard each one of these sentences. Basically, the problem is no longer his treatment of you – it’s your reaction to it.

Em vez de ver o seu erro e fazer tudo o que pode para o corrigir, o narcisista refuta os seus sentimentos. Ele vira a mesa e coloca o foco na sua reação ao seu comportamento prejudicial.

Instead of apologizing, he tells you to toughen up. Instead of admitting that he is the one who is wrong, he convinces you that you’re the problem!

Que conveniente, não é?

Whatever happens and whatever tactic a narcissist tries to use on you – don’t ever forget that you’re worthy. Your feelings, thoughts, and memories have value and they’re real, no matter what he says.

I know it’s tough, but you have to learn how to recognize these techniques so you can turn on your defense mechanisms in time and run for your life.